Work Text:
Rapid clacking of plastic keyboard keys provide atmospheric sound to Konomi’s cramped living space. The typing is brought on by her guilty pleasure: playing video games. The brunette yawns. Even night owls get tired, especially when they work for the defense force during the day. Sleepy eyes blink slowly as she reads messages from another player, “UltimateGund0m_01”.
They met by chance on a crappy MMORPG. It was a glitchy, bug-filled mess on release day. Two rounds in and Konomi was ready to leave the game behind forever. It was fate that on her third and final round, she joined the same team as UltimateGund0m_01. Miraculously, the two of them carried their team to victory, even with constant lagging. They joked around in the game’s private chats, then decided to ditch the awful MMORPG for a higher quality game. It’s been two years since that day and they are still buddies. Game sessions started off as random team ups, then shifted to playing every few months, then monthly, and now, a biweekly affair. Between them there are hundreds of sent messages, full inboxes archive their extensive gaming history.
Prior to her strange online friendship, Konomi, known online as “BearyHearts”, played solo. As operations manager of the Third Division, she doesn’t have infinite time outside of her hectic work schedule to form connections online. Her life is difficult to accommodate; no one was able to adapt. That is, until UltimateGund0m_01 came along. He, oddly enough, has a schedule worse than hers. She’s certain that the other gamer frequently utilizes time he should be sleeping to play with her. While she can’t say she approves of it, she’s happy at the lengths he’s willing to go to indulge her.
Right now, however, he’s getting on her nerves.
Konomi types her message as clear and concise as possible, “I’m not pretending to be your girlfriend to impress your friend.”
She is greeted with a frantic message in all-caps, “WHY NOT? JUST FOR ONE DAY!! PLEASE!!”
“Don’t yell at me!” She types out, her finger slams down on the “enter” key in a stroke of defiance.
UltimateGund0m_01 replies in timid lowercase, “i’m sorry ma'am.”
A giggle burst from Konomi’s lips. Though he’s rather unorthodox, Konomi likes her online friend’s antics. It was his gaming aptitude that initially drew her in, but it’s his strange humor keeps their chats alive.
“Apology accepted, you weirdo.”
He asks again, “Please? I’m single (by choice!) and ur single too (rest in peace) and I swear it’ll only be 2 hours! Maybe less!” Konomi chooses to ignore the meta commentary her friend put in parentheses. She bites the inside of her cheek. As curious as she is about the man behind the gamer tag, this is too weird of a way to meet. She can’t, in good conscious, follow along with this childish scheme.
“This is an elaborate way piss off your coworker who said you’re too immature to hold down a proper relationship. I hate to say it, but I agree with them.” Konomi wants that to be the end of the discussion, but UltimateGund0m_01 is an enormous brat.
“But it doubles as a good excuse for us to hang out! We’ve been playing together for ages. U owe me this for saving your ass so much!” UltimateGund0m_01 is beginning to give Konomi a migraine. “Besides I sorta already agreed to let him meet u,” Her friend adds, “Please?”
When he finishes his series of messages, Konomi rolls her eyes and replies, “First off, you’re the one who always needs saving! Secondly, you don’t know if I’m even real!” They’ve never exchanged photos or even voice recordings. For all he knows, she could be lying about what little information she’s shared with him.
“Listen Beary, I know that ur great at first-person shooters. That’s good enough for me.” As she reads out his words, she’s not sure whether to feel flattered at the compliment or appalled at how low his romantic standards are. He sends another message, “Worst case scenario is that u turn out to be an actual bear. In which case, I’m impressed by ur mastery of human language, my quadrupedal comrade.” Konomi snickers at his additional comment.
She rubs her computer-strained eyes and types her response.
“Send me the time and location. Choose somewhere public and spacious, ok? But no promises!”
“I knew u would crack!”
She didn’t crack! She’s only slightly interested!
Konomi makes sure to send the final message, “No promises! And you have to buy me dinner!”
Shutting down her computer, heavy exhaustion seeps into her body. Konomi slumps back into her swivel chair, no longer caring to maintain proper posture to save her back. Nighttime is the best time to game, but she’ll pay for every extra hour she spends awake at work tomorrow. She sighs at she stares at the mess around her.
Her living room is filled to the brim with books and files from her job. The only surface left untouched by her work is the small gaming set-up she’d created for herself in the corner of the room. A folding chair, a folding table, and a laptop with a wireless mouse; this is the place Konomi goes in her extremely rare off time. This is where she met her unusual online friend.
“What am I doing?” Konomi groans to herself.
This will be her first date in years.
And it’s fake!
Oh, how ashamed her past-self would be of her right now.
She’s in for an adventure; she can feel it coming.
Two days later, Konomi’s receives a private message from her mysterious friend with an invite to a popular arcade. She discreetly checks the location on her work computer. It’s a nice, public location with good reviews. Her phones buzzes again with a message from UltimateGund0m_01, “August 10th, 5pm. Can u make it?” She’s a little ashamed by how quickly she accepts the offer. Her hands are jittery with excitement.
“I can’t believe I’m actually looking forward to this…,” She mumbles to herself, patting her cheeks to prevent an oncoming blush.
At the end of the day, Konomi pulls Captain Ashiro aside to ask for August 10th off.
Ashiro looks up from her paperwork and quirks an eyebrow, “That’s a rare request from you, Okonogi.”
Konomi fiddles her thumbs behind her back. “Well, this is a rare situation. I’m, uh, meeting someone.” Her voice cracks nervously at the end of her sentence. She’s never had to call out for something like this before. She hopes it doesn’t come off as unprofessional.
Fortunately, Ashiro’s eyes light up, nearly blinding Konomi with cuteness. Konomi doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the person she’s meeting is her goofy online friend and not a “real” date. The captain agrees to give Konomi the full evening off without any further questions.
“Have fun, Okonogi,” Ashiro smiles softly, dismissing Konomi from her office. Konomi can only blink in surprise after exiting, heart racing in anticipation for the “date”.
The night before the rendezvous, she and UltimateGund0m_01 spend a few hours racing in a new kart game. It’s as fun as it is competitive. They play for several hours into the deep of the night. Normally they don’t game for so long in one go, but since Konomi doesn’t need to work tomorrow morning, she’s feeling reckless. Unexpectedly, her friend babbles something about needing “beauty sleep” for tomorrow’s “date,” so they begin saying their goodbyes. She wonders if he's nervous for the "date" they have planned. Konomi has the forethought to ask a few more questions before they log off for the night.
She types out what's been on her mind, “Hey, how many people are coming with you tomorrow?”
He answers instantly, “Just one of my coworkers. He wants see if u actually exist. If ur real, it’ll be a huge win for me, and if ur not, he’ll never let me live it down and probably kill me. no pressure.”
“Do I have to keep a lie going the whole evening?” Konomi sees herself as a social person, but she’s not sure she’d be able to keep lying for a full conversation. It’s not her nature.
“Leave the talking to me! He’ll leave after a few minutes, I swear!” Typing bubbles resume, “But I can tell him to fuck off if it’ll bother u. I can send him pictures after. All that matters is us meeting. Please don’t cancel, I’ll actually throw up.” Ultimate_Gund0m_01 was getting pretty desperate. Konomi laughs to herself and resigns.
“It’s fine, as long as he’s not sticking around.” She smiles as her online friend reacts to her message with a big thumbs up emoji. She taps her chin curiously, then sends another message.
“We should send each other pictures before we meet.”
The typing text bubbles from her friend appear and disappear three times before a short reply is sent.
“Isn’t the element of surprise better?”
Konomi rolls her eyes. “No? That’ll make it harder to find each other!”
He types for an uncomfortable amount of time, only to send another short message. “I want you to see me in person so you don’t think I’m trolling.”
Konomi can’t help but feel conflicted. They’ve built up trust over the two years they’ve played together, but it unsettles her that she doesn’t know the face of the man she’s meeting.
She complains, “Why not? You don’t seem shy. Why would I think you’re trolling? You know I don’t care about appearances, right?” They have good chemistry in their games and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. Besides, it’s not like they’re genuinely dating. This was a one-off thing, right?
UltimateGund0m_01 replies quicker this time, “I’m not shy! The truth is, I’m a celebrity. I wanna be discreet with what I share online.”
Konomi burst out laughing. Her fingers swiftly write a response,“Celebrity!? LOL You don’t have to lie to get out of sending me a photo, dude.” Was he really that insecure about his looks? Or is he hiding something? Konomi ponders calling the whole thing off. She’s not one for pranks anyway, such activities better suited her jovial purple-haired coworker.
UltimateGund0m_01 insists, “But I really am super cool and special and important and famous! (/s)”
Konomi pauses. Her friend is more delusional than she thought. If it were anyone else, she’d call it off at his refusal to confirm his identity. But to be honest, she thinks UltimateGund0m_01 is too dorky to be a serious threat. As long as they meet in public, it should be fine. Besides, her coworkers have her location. If things go awry, the Third Division will be raising hell.
She gives up on asking for a photo. “Ok, Mr. Famous. How about we describe what we’ll be wearing?”
This, he has no issues with. “Yeah that’s fine! I’ll be in a black hoodie, black pants, and black boots probably. Also, I have dyed bangs but I haven’t retouched my roots in a while.”
Wow, he might be a serial killer. Konomi can’t help but criticize him.
“That’s your outfit? Aren’t you almost 30? God, you sound like a creep!”
“U said u didn’t care about appearances...”
Konomi sighs to herself. Yeah, she did say that, didn’t she?
“Fine, I’ll meet you, man-child. I’ll tell you my outfit tomorrow.”
“:3”
Konomi snorts at the stupid emoticon he sends. Her heart beats excitedly. Despite the clear red flags, she finds herself seriously looking forward to this.
She starts getting ready at 1:00pm. The first thing she does is take a long bubble-bath. After, she spends nearly two hours picking an outfit and applying makeup. This wasn’t a real date, but she should try to look nice, right? She sends a message to her friend with a picture attached of her outfit. She crops out her face, feeling unusually shy. “I’m showing up in an orange sweater, brown skirt, black leggings, and brown loafers.”
She spots the perfect accessory at the top of her closet. It’ll make her easy to find!
“And a bear print mini backpack!” She sends the additional text.
Konomi is a punctual lady so she reaches the arcade at 4:55 pm. She places a hand over her chest to calm herself. The nerves are getting to her. To calm herself, she searches for a nice place to sit in the arcade. The lighting is somewhat dim, though neon lights flash from practically every arcade game around her. Parents follow closely behind their energetic children who boast about beating claw machines. An older woman accepts tickets at the kiosk and hands out toys to customers. Teens argue loudly over who gets to eat the last slice of pizza. This place is livelier than she expected. While walking around, Konomi spots a claw machine stuffed with teddy bear key chains. She notes it mentally to return to later. As she explores further, she discovers that there’s an adult bar near the back of the arcade. Konomi is sure to update her friend of the location change.
“I’m sitting at the bar in the back.”
Five minutes pass and her phone pings with a message from UltimateGund0m_01, “Here.”
Suddenly, Konomi doesn’t know where look. The floor? No, the ceiling! No, the table! Her phone? She’s a bundle of anxious energy waiting to be released. The anticipation is killing her. She considers running to the bathroom before he gets to the bar. “What the hell am I doing? He could be a murderer!” Konomi mumbles to herself like a madwoman. She manages to get a hold of herself and she decides to face her anxiety head on by scanning the area for anyone matching the look of her online friend.
Eventually, a person fitting his description enters her sphere of view.
Konomi blinks, then blinks again, then blinks a third time. Someone familiar approaches.
She’s staring directly at First Division Captain Gen Narumi, who is wearing a black hoodie, black pants, and black boots.
“Gen Narumi? You’re UltimateGund0m_01?” Konomi feels faint.
Gen tilts his head, equally surprised. “Huh, so I guess BearyHearts is Konomi Okonogi. Damn, If I knew it was you I would’ve brought those files the Third Division requested a month ago. Kurusu's been on my ass about sending those to you, my bad.” He continues to stare as they stand three feet apart. Konomi can’t even think of a response. She knows she must look like a small, viciously red tomato. After a beat of silence, his shock wears off and a smirk slides onto his face. He looks her up and down.
“Who knew someone this cute talks so much shit online?” He laughs, “You’re only two apples tall!”
“Oh, shut up!” Konomi barks back, flustered. How can he talk to her the way he does online now that he knows they work together!? She can’t wrap her head around it. She can’t believe she’s been talking to Captain Gen Narumi for two years! This is so weird! All those dumb jokes exchanged in private chats were with the JAKDF’s least popular captain. Konomi thinks she might explode.
Konomi is about to throw a few creative insults at the captain in front of her, but she cuts herself off when a large figure approaches Gen from behind. The man is much taller and wider than Gen. She recognizes the imposing figure as the First Division’s vice-captain. The tall man doesn’t seem to recognize her though, too focused on berating Gen.
“Are you ready to drop this elaborate lie, fool!” Vice Captain Hasegawa swats Gen’s back with a rolled up newspaper. Gen cowers like a small child on the carpeted arcade floor.
“I’m not lying, Hasegawa! I have a girlfriend!” Gen pleas for mercy.
Hasegawa isn’t buying it. “And you conveniently need to play games with her during every meeting?”
Gen endures a few more swats. “Yes, exactly! How else can I keep our love alive? I’m a romantic!”
The vice-captain growls, “You lying little-”
Panicked, Gen quickly points to Konomi. “Look, there she is!”
Now with the attention back on her, Konomi politely waves. “Uh, hi? I, uh, date him…I guess?” She came all the way here, she might as well uphold her end of the bargain.
“See Hasegawa! She’s real!” Gen crawls to Konomi’s side to pretend that they are familiar with each other. He stands up and interlocks their hands. Konomi can feel her body heating up at the proximity. She hopes he doesn’t think her palms are sweaty.
Hasegawa takes a step back to observe the sight of the two of them together. He crosses his arms, “I truly didn’t think anyone would date him. Let alone someone with as much sense as yourself.” He gestures to Konomi with a concerned expression.
Gen uses his free hand to flip Hasegawa off. “Why you-! Scram! You’ve lost the right to criticize my gaming habits forever!”
Hasegawa rolls his eyes, “Don’t be ridiculous, Narumi.” Hasegawa looks to Konomi and nods, “Make sure he doesn’t get in any trouble, Ms, Okonogi. I apologize in advance, he can be a handful.” The humongous man leaves them to their arcade date without further ado.
“Shut up! Shut up!” Gen shakes his fist at the retreating man.
By now the entire arcade is acutely aware that Captain Gen Narumi is here and he’s making a fuss. Several parents shoot glares at him, but their kids look at the loud man in awe. Teens quit their chatter to take photos of him from a distance.
Konomi shakes her hand out of Gen’s grip, suddenly remembering herself. She scolds him instantly, “I’m your excuse to slack off during work!?” Judging by how Hasegawa described Gen’s antics, he was likely using that excuse even on days when the two of them hadn’t actually gamed together. “How long have you been using that sorry excuse, anyway!?”
“A couple months,” Gen admits, not a hint of shame on his face. Gen gave her another goofy smirk. “M’ Sorry I used you as an excuse to get out of work, Beary. It will happen again.” Truly, this man has no shame!
“Oh, great,” Konomi’s voice is laced with annoyance. “Now the whole force will think I’m just as bad as you. And that we’ve been in a relationship for months.”
“We pretty much have been,” Gen muses. His face reddens when he realizes what he’s said. “I mean-! I don’t play with anyone except you, so I was thinking that we could...be exclusive and stuff...” He trails off, fidgeting in place. His confession is clear as day.
Konomi shakes her head in disbelief. The captain of the First Division is insisting that the two of them have basically been e-dating for months. “Let me guess, outside of you wanting to get the vice-captain off your tail, this whole fake date thing was your weird way of trying to see if I’d agree to really be your girlfriend?”
Gen pouts as a response.
“That’s really dumb and you're an idiot!” Konomi is an honest woman and she calls it like she sees it.
She continues, “But I’ll consider letting you be my boyfriend if you can win me a teddy bear keychain from the claw machine up front. And don't forget you're buying me dinner, too! I may be your gaming buddy, but you have to treat me like a lady!”
That ignites a fire in Gen’s eyes. His cocky attitude, the one Konomi is has gotten familiar with after many nights of gaming, returns in full force.
“Deal!” He puffs his chest, snatching Konomi's arm and leading her to the rows of claw machines.
Despite her initial irritation, Konomi’s heart flutters. Her online friend, soon-to-be boyfriend, is much better in-person.
Apparently, she has a thing for annoying, bratty men.
Yep, Konomi’s past-self would definitely be ashamed.