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The door to the Mike room slammed open, resulting in you, Pluey and Jongler dropping your cards in panic. So much for crazy 8s.
"I can't stand it." Mike snarled as he stormed in, slamming the door shut again behind him. "Can any of you guys take over?? I can't stand looking at Tenna right now."
"Why's dat, boss? Somethin' happen?" Jongler inquired, a bit shaken.
"I hate him. I hate the mailman. I hate everyone. That's what happened." He ripped off his costume head and threw it at the wall, and practically clawed himself out of his costume.
"I caught them fucking and he had the gall to scold me for entering his office. As he. Requested. Of. Me. I guess he forgot after he bent that goddamn slimeball over his desk?!"
Ah.
He was jealous.
Since Spamton came back, it'd caused Battat nothing but rage, stress, and you're certain if he had hair, he'd have pulled it all out by now.
It'd been the first time you'd ever seen him outright dip from Mike duties, and demand one of you to take over.
You were the Mike who sang, so you were the best when Tenna wanted a personal performer, someone who can match Pluey's ability to soothe his soul with music, but with the bonus of being able to speak, too. Your singing had a sultry, Sinatra-esque sound that tickled the CRT's nostalgia bones whenever he could steal you for himself.
Pluey was the Mike who listens, so he could tolerate a lot more emotional intensity than Battat, as long as Tenna wasn't looking for advice. If he needed an affectionate cat or a teddy bear, Pluey was the guy.
Jongler was the Mike with muscles, who was perfect for today's job. Just be on duty and generally not be Tenna's shadow, but his fists. They were best as an enforcer, a bodyguard, someone indifferent to Tenna's personal affairs, but still looked out for his wellbeing.
"I'll take ova." Jongler offered. "Plues, can you be my backup?"
Pluey trilled: his way of saying sure.
Jongler hopped over to you while Pluey went to go toot something to Battat.
"Youse the best at comfortin' our boss. Can you keep an eye on Batts?"
"Sure, that's no problem."
Jongler made a face you could only describe as their attempt at smiling.
"Thanks, you's always been a lifesaver." They patted you on the shoulder before hopping to the closet to squirm into their Mike costume.
Battat had situated himself on the couch, back facing everyone, and Pluey patiently waited for Jongler to hurry up.
Jongler was soon hopping out the door, and beckoning for Pluey to follow. The door closed quietly behind them, and they were gone.
You sat there awkwardly for a few moments. Unsure of what to say to your emotionally-shaken coworker.
"Uh... wanna talk about it?"
"No. Why would I wanna talk about it? So I can keep thinking about those two fucking idiot lovebirds?"
"Sheesh, no need to get pissy at me," you defended yourself calmly. "We don't have to talk abou-"
"I do everything for that fucking loon. I work double shifts, I even had to get you, Jong, and Plues in on this Mike bullshit because I couldn't keep up. If I could, I would. I already break my back doing his antenna massages, his weirdass shock therapy, I bring him whatever refreshments or coffee he wants, I fix his fried ass wires, I dust inside his casing, I restock his toothpaste, I fucking TUCK HIM IN AT NIGHT! I had to get you to take over singing him to sleep and force you to hide under the bed before and after lullaby time. I've worked his every beck and call while sick, while feeling like a wreck myself, while injured... He's a grown ass man and I have to basically be his fucking mommy. And you know? What? I love him. I love him so much it hurts. I do all of this because I love him. But of course what I do doesn't matter," Battat spat, unable to stop. "Everything I do is for him. I don't even do anything for myself. I don't even know what it's like to do anything for myself. Did you know I forgot things I enjoyed? I sometimes forget I'm allowed to have a life! I forget I'm allowed to even be me! Until I had 3 of you helping me raise a 40+ year old man? I don't even want much in return but fuck can he just. Appreciate. ME."
You could hear his voice trembling - with rage, and pain from emotional neglect.
"He says he loves us but I look at his screen and I know I will never get half as much appreciation for breaking my back for him as Spamton gets for fucking farting in his direction. Remember when he actually would talk to us? And not be so flippant? And not be like OhHH rUn AlOnG nOW, MikE?? And that's as MIKE. You see how he treats me as Battat! As one of those 'awful little guys', as he says!"
You unconsciously moved closer to Battat through his tear-filled rant. Now you got it. Why Pluey and Jongler were quick to dip. Battat was emotionally closest to you, and you were the one to calm him down. They adored Battat but he'd lash out more in response sometimes - Jongler didn't understand his unrequited affection for the boss, and Pluey sometimes tried to make sweet little jokes to ease the mood. Jokes that, if towards you, would've made you giggle and come back to earth. They even worked on Tenna! But towards Battat, he took as patronizing, and would sometimes shut down more.
"It's rough, I know." You said quietly. "You work so hard for him."
"I do!" He practically screeched. You flinched, and he recoiled a bit as well. "Sorry. Sorry. I know you don't like men shouting."
He exhaled shakily.
"It's just. I wish he cared more. I wish someone appreciated me."
"He does care," you tried. "He just... sucks at showing it. He's a drama queen meant for the big screen, behind the scene he's like...... a glooby idiot. He definitely appreciates you, even if you-know-who's been stealing the show."
"I can't stand him," the tears began. "He. J-just. He just ffffucking shows up. And r-ruins. All my w-work. He gets in the way. Then I work overtime. Somehow. An-and. And. He doesn't even. SEE."
Your arms found their way around him, and he gave up on talking and just pathetically cried into your shoulder.
"It's okay, Batts. I'm here. I see you. I appreciate you. You work so hard, you know." You tried to think of all the things he needed to hear in that moment. Reassurances, affirmations, anything to ground him. He just needed recognition. He was no different than Tenna in that regard, even if it was expressed completely differently - the root cause was the same: Insecurity.
"You're always doing such a great job."
"You're appreciated."
"What you do doesn't go unnoticed."
"You deserve better."
He leaned his head into you, and you gently rocked him back and forth.
"You know we here love you, dude."
His crying had only just stopped before he was digging his claws in and sobbing again.
It went on like this for a while, but eventually he did calm down. You were also certain Jongler and Pluey were avoiding coming back until you gave the clear.
"I love you too." Battat's voice was so quiet, you thought you imagined it for a moment. "It's why I even wake up some days."
You didn't respond immediately. You gently rubbed circles in his shoulders with one hand and held the back of his head with the other.
"This job can be... emotionally strenuous," you started, softly. "But it's worth it. You make it worth it. Even if it's a lot. Even if you get snappy too from being a lil jelly pants."
"A what?!" His head tried to snap up but gave up quickly against your soft hold. He slumped further onto you. "I know I just said I love you like some kinda sap, but also, fuck you."
You laughed.
"That's the Batter I know."
You finally loosened your grip and he sat up. God, he was a wreck. Baggy, swollen red eyes. Face flushed from crying, shirt disheveled. And still, you found something endearing about your prideful boss sitting in front of you at his most vulnerable.
"Can I just, do one thing?" He asked. He sounded very small despite matching your size.
"Sure?" Your response was more of a question, but you were also okay with whatever he wanted-
His gloved hands grabbed the sides of your face, and he pulled you in for a kiss.
He held your lips to his for several moments, before finally pulling back.
"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I just had a meltdown in front of you and now I'm kissing you. I'm a stupid idiot-"
You silenced him with a kiss of your own. "Shut up." You mouth over his lips. "It's fine."
You pulled back, and leaned onto the couch as you gazed at him.
"I really think you needed it, anyway."
"I did, yeah. Maybe we should take a week off," He laughed weakly.
You exhaled a little laugh through your nose. "I like your use of 'we'. Care to elaborate?"
"Well, less Mike action, more kissing, less mailman, more cuddles-"
"That's a wishlist, but sure."
You both knew he'd never stop working even if it killed him, but at least, for now, his heart ached less.
And now, he'll be stuck with you floating around his head instead.