Work Text:
October 3, 2023 – 19:42
Unknown Number: New voice message
“Uh, hey, Ominis. It’s, uh, Sebastian. From lit class. Uh, Sebastian Sallow, if you don’t know me.
I got your number from Imelda, I hope that’s fine. She said you preferred voice messages over texts because your… screen reader sometimes messes up names and things like that? I hope I’m doing this right.
Anyway, since we got paired for that assignment, I just wanted to check when you’re free to get started on it. And also where you’d like to meet. You could come to me if you’d like, or I can come to you. Or maybe we could go to a café?
…But maybe you can’t get there on your own. Fuck, that sounded condescending. Can I delete that? Shit, I can’t. Uh, sorry. I hope you get what I mean.
So, yeah, let me know. Text me, or call, or email, or Snapchat, or… leave a voice message. Uhm. Bye.”
October 7, 2023 – 21:16
Sebastian Sallow – Lit class: New voice message
“Hey. Thanks again for the study session today. It actually made the book make a lot more sense once we talked it out. You’re way better at picking up on themes than I am.
Oh, uh, also, you left your earphones at mine. I’ll bring them to you next time we… see each other. …Wait, is that—? Should I say hear each other? Ugh, that sounded like a bad joke, didn’t it? Sorry, I’m an idiot. I’ll just bring them when we meet again. That’s better. Yeah. Okay. Bye.”
October 11, 2023 – 17:03
Sebastian Sallow – Lit class: New voice message
“Hey, Ominis. Just checking in about the essay draft. I’m about halfway through mine, but I still don’t know if I’m overcomplicating it. You make it sound so easy in discussions, and then I sit down to write and it’s like my brain suddenly forgets how to form words. Would you mind looking over mine and give me some pointers? What formats work for your screenreader?
Or should I just wait and bring it next time we see each other? Whatever works better for you. Let me know. Cool. That’s all. Bye.”
October 18, 2023 – 22:41
Sebastian Sallow – Lit class: New voice message
“So, I just wanted to say thanks again. You were… actually really great to work with. Like, no offense to anyone else in the class, but I’m really glad we got paired together.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone put their arguments together that cleanly. The professor loved it, obviously, but I mean… I did too. It was actually kind of fun. Which is saying a lot, because writing essays is usually, like, pulling teeth for me.
…Right, and what I’m actually trying to say is … uh … if you ever wanted to… hang out again? Not for class stuff, I mean. Just… in general. Like, grab a coffee or something. Or not. No pressure.
God, I sound twelve. I’m going to shut up now. Just — yeah. Thanks, Ominis.”
October 28, 2023 – 14:12
Sebastian Sallow – Lit class: New voice message
“Hey, just letting you know I’m already at the café. Uh, it has a green sign — wait, shit, that’s not helpful for you. Okay, um … if you take a left by the Indian restaurant, the one with the big golden — ugh, no, that’s visual again. Fuck, I suck at this.
You know what, just tell me where your taxi drops you off, and I’ll come meet you. That’s easier. Sorry.”
October 28, 2023 – 21:07
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Hey. Just wanted to say thanks for meeting up today. I had a good time.
I’m still laughing about how the barista completely butchered your name. I think she called you Omlet? You handled it way better than I did. I nearly spat out my coffee.
Anyway, yeah. That was fun. Let’s do it again sometime.”
November 7, 2023 – 13:54
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Hey, when does your class end? I’m grabbing food near campus and can wait for you if you’re free.”
November 20, 2023 – 22:11
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Okay, but you have to admit my essay title was better than yours. Don’t deny it, I know you’re rolling your eyes right now. And yes, I’m still calling it ‘Hamlet: Ghost Dad Problems.’ It’s iconic.”
December 1, 2023 – 18:03
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“I still can’t believe you beat me at pub trivia. I have remained unbeaten for like, almost a year. Then you join me once and you obliterate me. That’s cheating. You definitely hustled me.”
December 15, 2023 – 09:27
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“I saved you a seat in lecture. The professor’s already setting up slides, so hurry your ass over.”
December 22, 2023 – 23:50
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“I know it’s late, but thanks for coming out tonight. Honestly, you’re the only person who makes those stupid parties bearable. I would’ve left an hour in if you weren’t there. Next time, you get to pick the occasion.”
December 25, 2023 – 11:16
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Happy Christmas! I hope you got some good gifts. Anne got me this ridiculously oversized scarf. Iit’s so long I could probably use it as a blanket. She says it’s because I’m always forgetting mine, but honestly, I think she just wanted to see how much wool it takes to wrap me like a burrito.”
December 26, 2023 – 17:42
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
”Uh, I’ve noticed you’ve not been very present and just wanted to make sure you’re okay. No one should be sad around Christmas. For what it’s worth, I got you a gift. Yeah yeah, I know I didn’t need to, but I wanted to. Maybe we could meet up and have a small celebration together? Like, hot chocolate, Christmas movies and the works? Maybe even a snowball fight. I’d totally win. I’m stronger, faster and have better aim than you. Hahah.
But really, I hope you’re okay. I kind of miss hearing you jabbing at me for my table mannerism or correcting my grammar in verbal conversations. It feels kind of empty, when we don’t see each other every day. Not that you’ve ever seen me.
Okay, I’ll stop with the blind jokes now. Please text me, or call me, so I know you’re okay.”
December 29, 2023 – 09:03
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Hey! Thanks for yesterday. Honestly, it was one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had. The only downside was that you met Anne and now she’s adopted you. I can already see the way you two are going to gang up and bully me. But hey, that’s fine. What am I if not a punching bag?
I hope you liked your gift. Can you believe I was about to just get you a box of chocolates? But then I saw that ridiculous snow globe with the little braille plaque on it, and I don’t know, it felt right.
Anyway. Yesterday was good. You were good. And I’m… really glad you came.”
December 31, 2023 – 23:45
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Happy New Years! Or, like, in fifteen minutes, but still. I hope you’re having a good time, even if you described your family’s New Years’ celebration as ‘as stiff as eating plain bread’. Hope you’re not kissing anyone at midnight.
Uh, because it would be weird, since everyone there is related to you. Not … for any other reason.
Fuck, I should probably stop drinking. Garreth told me it was just a splash of vodka, but this tastes like hell incarnated in a drink.
I wish you were here. Maybe you could come next year. Like, your parents shouldn’t be able to decide for you when you’re literally 20 years old.
Oh, crap, I gotta go. Garreth is spiking the punch again. Happy new years!”
January 9, 2024 – 16:18
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“You still owe me coffee for bailing on me yesterday. Don’t think I forgot.”
February 14, 2024 – 00:07
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Happy birthday, Ominis! Yeah, I know, it’s past midnight, but technically that means I’m the first one to say it, so I win. And no, before you start, I’m not sorry in case I’m waking you up.
Anyway, I can’t believe you’re turning twenty-one. Which, by the way, means I get to officially call you an old man now. I should probably get you one of those walking canes with a duck head on top. You’d look dashing.
It’s so typical of you to be a Valentine’s Day-baby. But the season suits you. It’s pale, cold, a little broody, but it’s so underappreciated and actually super cosy. Cheers to us both being single today, by the way. But I’d rather spend the day with you anyways, so I guess, it’s two stones, one bird?
Wait, that’s not right. Two birds with two stones?
Anyways.
Hope you have the best day, mate. And don’t think you’re getting out of celebrating. I’ve already planned something. I’ll send you a pin location. Be there by 7 tonight. No buts. See you!”
February 23, 2024 – 01:23
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Hey. Uh … you told me to tell you when I’m done being patched up. I’m fine, I’ll need three stitches but it’s nothing too serious. Uh … yeah.
Look, I know you’re angry with me for punching him, but I couldn’t just walk past and pretend as if I didn’t hear it. No one should say things like that to you, whether it’s to your face or not. I know you disapprove when I’m playing guard dog, but I don’t care. I’ll happily deck anyone who ever says anything bad about you. Even if they deck me back.
Uh … yeah, I’m just sitting here now, waiting for Solomon to pick me up. I just wanted to tell you I’m fine, because I know you worry.
Don’t worry. Call me if you want to scold me properly. Or don’t call; text if you prefer. Or leave a voice message and I’ll listen to you tell me off on loop if that’s what you want.
Um. Sorry I’m being melodramatic. I’m fine. Bye.”
March 5, 2024 – 20:41
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Okay, so, quick update: I tried that new bakery down the street. You would have loved it. They had those almond croissants you always moan about, and the guy at the counter spelled my name wrong three times. I was about to give him a speech, but I restrained myself.
Thought I’d bring you one next time we meet. Don’t worry, I’m not turning this into a gift delivery service… yet.”
April 1, 2024 – 14:59
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Ominis. You can never guess what I just saw. I was picking up a book at the library and saw Imelda there, holding hands with some dude I think is in the year above us! I thought she was incapable of affection for anything that isn’t her lacrosse stick. Makes you wish you also had someone to hold hands with and make heart eyes to, right?
Anyways, text me when you’re free and we can plot our next cafe outing or something.”
April 15, 2024 – 18:06
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Did you cut your hair? It looked like it, at least in the snap you sent me. You looked really good. The haircut, I mean. Looked good. On you.
Anyways, I got a random thought: what if we do a mini study session at the park this weekend? Fresh air, snacks, maybe even some sun if it doesn’t rain. You can bring your notes, I’ll bring a ridiculous amount of coffee, and we can pretend we’re being super productive.
Also, I swear I won’t nerd out about your penmanship this time. Maybe.”
April 15, 2024 – 14:18
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Class sucks when you’re not here. Can you hurry up and get well soon? I also thought you were like, immune to catching colds and that. But now that you’re sick I just keep imagining you lying in bed like a Victorian corpse, all pale and brittle, with your hands crossed over your chest and whispering to your maid to include your illicit love child in your will.
Jokes aside, I really hope you get better soon.”
May 3, 2024 – 16:37
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Hey, just checking in about tonight. I found a movie I think you’re going to love. It even has actual audio description this time, so you won’t have to put up with my shitty narration attempts.
I’ve also got the snacks situation under control: popcorn, obviously. That chocolate you like. And crisps, because if I don’t buy them, you’re going to say you’re fine and then steal mine halfway through, and I’m not falling for that again.
I’m really glad Marvolo agreed to drive you, by the way. Even if he’s a total douche the other twenty-three hours of the day. Guess he can be useful sometimes.”
May 4, 2024 – 21:04
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“Uh, hey, Ominis. Um.
So you haven’t been answering my calls, which … I get. But I’m hoping you’ll listen to this. I feel like we need to talk. Or… I need to talk. I owe you an explanation.
Um …
I’m sorry about the kiss.
Now, before you stop listening, let me explain. I’m not sorry because I regret it. I’m sorry about the way it happened. I shouldn’t have bolted afterwards and then tried to pretend nothing happened. I panicked. I didn’t even mean to kiss you.
But I’ve wanted to. For a really long time. And you just looked so cute and cuddly, with popcorn salt on your lips and your hair all ruffled and… yeah.
Anyway. What I’m trying to say is …I like you. Like, really like you.
Yes, I sound twelve again. But it’s true.
And if you’d, uh, be willing to meet, I’d really like to see you and talk about this. I’m not expecting anything from you. You’re my best friend and I’d hate to lose that. If you’d want to stay just friends, that’s not a problem for me.
But please, can we just… talk first? Losing you would be the worst thing that could happen to me, I think.
Uh, call me, or text me, or … whatever. Just please talk to me. Um. Bye.”
May 6, 2024 – 00:48
Sebastian Sallow: New voice message
“I know you’re asleep right now, and you’ll probably listen to this in the morning… but I can’t sleep.
So I thought I’d leave you something to wake up to.
Anyway. I can’t stop thinking about your lips against mine. And the way you called me boyfriend.
I think I’ll live off that high forever. Honestly, I could’ve floated home. If you’re not careful, I’ll turn into one of those disgusting couples who can’t stop smiling to themselves in public.
God, I wish I were with you right now instead of in this cramped bed, with Solomon’s snores literally shaking the walls. It’s like trying to sleep next to a bear.
I hope you’re dreaming about me, boyfriend.
See you Monday. Miss you already.”
May 14, 2024 – 13:27
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Sooo. I have a plan. Since I’m your boyfriend now, I fully intend to live up to that title.
This Friday, I’m taking you on a date. A real one. We dress up, I book us a table, I pick you up like a proper gentleman. No complaints, no arguments. I’m already picturing you in a suit, so you’re not ruining this for me.
We’ll split a bottle of wine and act like we’re cultured fifty-year-olds instead of broke students who chose the cheapest thing on the menu. And I’ll probably say something ridiculous to make you laugh loud enough that everyone else in the restaurant stares, and it’ll still be perfect.
You deserve a proper date, Ominis. So that’s what you’re getting.”
May 17, 2024 – 23:52
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Hey, baby. Just checking you got home safe. I’m back now, and Solomon’s staring at me like I’ve lost my mind, probably wondering why I’m dressed to the nines.
How do I explain that I just got back from a date with practical royalty?
Anyway… text me when you’re in bed so I know you’re okay. I already miss you. Sleep well, gorgeous.”
June 2, 2024 – 00:16
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Ominis… please, just — just listen.
I’m sorry. For everything I said, and for how I said it. It was stupid, and careless, and I wasn’t thinking about you, only about myself. I’ll never do it again. I swear. Just … please talk to me again. It feels like I’m dying. I hate that you’re angry with me. I know I deserve it, because it was really fucking stupid of me … but still.
Please don’t shut me out. You mean too much to me. Just… please. Let’s fix this. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
June 7, 2024 – 10:22
Love ❤️: New voice message
“So… funny story. At breakfast, Solomon asked me if I ‘needed the talk.’ At twenty years old. And Anne looked like she’d just won the lottery. She was grinning like it was her birthday and Christmas all rolled into one.
And you know why. Because they heard. Through the walls. Everything.
I wanted to crawl into the floor and die. We should’ve been at yours. I’d rather have one of those terrifying gargoyles from your family manor breathing down my neck than my uncle listening in.
Imagine if we had our own place. No sneering brothers. No nosy sisters. Just you and me.
Anyway, I miss you. I hate that you had to leave for your parents’ stupid business trip. You know they only drag you along for appearances, for pity points, and it makes me furious. I wish you were here with me.
But… I’m glad we’re talking again. If we’d still not been speaking when you left, I think I really would’ve died.”
July 11, 2024 – 17:38
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Ominis! Guess what. Solomon — yes, Solomon — said he’d help us look for flats. He even said he’d help out with the first rent. Not that you need it, trust fund baby, but still. It means he’s… on our side, I guess.
Anne asked if it’s maybe a bit early, since we’ve only been dating for like, three months, but it feels like I’ve known you since forever. And if it means you get out of your parents’ miserable house and I won’t have Solomon watching me like a bloody hawk, I think it’s the perfect solution.”
July 14, 2024 – 21:45
Love ❤️: New voice message
"I have so many tabs open I think my computer genuinely considers rebelling. I had no idea flat hunting was such a ... nightmare. Also, I've never thought about how non-accessible many buildings are? Maybe I'm a bit protective now, but I keep looking at photos and thinking 'Ominis will definitely have trouble navigating that sort of spiral staircase', or 'that gate device will be a nightmare to handle even for me, who has vision'. So yeah. It feels like Solomon's snores are even more grating now that I know II won't have to put up with them for much longer. Have you found anything?"
July 21, 2024 – 16:34
Love ❤️: New voice message
"Okay, remember how you said you were sad you couldn't come along on the viewing today? You missed nothing. Those photos must've been AI-generated or photoshopped. It looked like someone had been smoking, sitting in the same spot in the living room, for twenty years. Like, there was a brown spot in the ceiling. The whole flat had a super weird, funky smell and the landlord kept asking if I preferred to walk around barefoot, and if not, if I were open to the idea of it. Then I mentioned that my boyfriend was visually impaired and we prefer open spaces with a predictable layout and good acoustic, and his face got super weird. He then asked if my parents approved of the fact that I was dating 'someone like that'. By that point, I wasn't even sure if he was referring to your blindness or your gender. I told him my parents are dead, and he said 'Only in spirit, my boy.' So yeah. A big hell no.
I have two other viewings this week. I'll send you the time and location and you can see if you're free from classes and can come along?"
July 28, 2024 – 19:26
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Ominis. Baby. I think I found it. The one. It’s perfect. Close to campus, close to a grocery store, even a gym if I ever get around to using it. Big windows with loads of light — yeah, yeah, I know that doesn’t matter to you, but still, it’s beautiful.
And get this: the building is accessibility adapted. Braille stickers in the hallways, handrails, the works. It’s like they built it with you in mind.
I may have… taken the liberty of booking us a tour tomorrow. Care to join me?”
August 13, 2024 – 14:18
Love ❤️: New voice message
"Bloody hell. Packing up your entire childhood bedroom truly builds character. I've always felt like my room was really freakin' small, but suddenly, the moving boxes never end. I keep pulling out hidden and forgotten shoe boxes and bags from under the bed, top of the closet or shoved into my dresser, full of ... crap?
Like, why on Earth have I saved the spagetti portrait of myself I made in third grade? Why do I have an entire folder of receipts from Costco?
The only good thing is I found a super cute photo of Anne and I. I'm going to frame it and set it on our dresser. Our dresser, Ominis!
... Oh my god. We're going to turn into that sort of couple who keeps referring to themselves as a unit. "We are not going to make it for your party." "We prefer to drink dairy-free milk." "We have an early dentist appointment tomorrow morning.'
I always hated it, when other people did that. But now I kind of get them. Like, you're such an important part of my life, I can't imagine not referring to us as a package deal because ... where you are, I want to be? What you do, I want to do?
Ugh, anyways. We're going to need to hire a moving firm. You can't carry anything heavier than your course book without declaring you're dying, and with the amount of boxes I have, I think Solomon and I are going to die for real if we try to carry everything. Not to mention the bloody sofa you insisted on bringing from your room ...
Do you have time to look around for some moving firms? I just discovered another mysterious box in the back of my closet and I have to sort through it.
Bye, love you."
August 28, 2024 – 08:11
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Okay, so, tiny problem. I just realized we don’t actually own a table. Which means, when the moving firm shows up in an hour and we unload everything, we’ll have no place to eat.
So… floor picnics it is. Plates on the ground. Super classy.
Honestly? As long as it’s with you, I don’t care.”
September 5, 2024 – 10:32
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Baby, I’m on my way to the grocery store now, but I literally don’t understand the shopping list you sent me. What the hell is… uh… triple-fermented miso paste? Is that even food?
Anyways, I’ll be home in an hour. God, I love that sound. Home. Just saying it makes me happy.
Okay, okay, I’ll stop being sappy. See you soon. Bye.”
October 12, 2024 – 12:07
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Honey, I booked a time slot for laundry today. Can you please sort all reds and whites and put them in the laundry basket so I can just grab them when I get home?
And don’t even try to pull the blind card. I know you can differentiate between fabrics by touch. You’re better at this than me, so no excuses.
Thanks, love.”
November 2, 2024 – 19:21
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Can we have takeout tonight? Before you say, ‘No, we had it yesterday,’ let me present my points of argument:
One, I’m tired. And I do not feel like cooking.
Two, it’s that Indian place you like.
Three… I’m really tired and really do not feel like cooking.
Pretty please? You can even pick what I get. I’ll even do the dishes.”
May 5, 2025 – 09:12
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Happy anniversary, babe. Can you believe it’s been a whole year? A whole year of you putting up with my chaos, my terrible cooking experiments, my constant rambling… and somehow, I’ve managed to survive too.
Honestly, I still can’t get over how lucky I am to have you. You make everything brighter, Ominis. Even when you sigh at me like I’m an idiot, which, yes, I often am, you somehow make me feel… right.
So tonight, I’ve planned a little celebration. Dinner, just us. I booked the place weeks ago to make sure we got seats. I made sure they have braille menus and asked for a more secluded booth.
I can’t wait to see you tonight. I love you. Happy anniversary, my love.”
May 5, 2026
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Happy anniversary, boyfriend. Two years, can you believe it? I still remember that first movie night. God, I was so nervous I nearly set the popcorn on fire. Then I snogged you and bolted. Glad to say I have matured since, eh? Now I just set you on fire, if you catch my drift.
Anyway! I booked us a booth at that Italian place you like, the one with the wine you always pretend to identify by smell. I’m also thinking this is like an early celebration for our graduation. Can you believe three years ago today, I was panicking about getting paired with not only the blind kid, but also the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen? You awakened a sexuality crisis in me that had me questioning my whole existence.
And tonight it’s just us, pasta, and me trying not to drip sauce on my shirt. I love you, Ominis. Happy two years.”
May 5, 2027
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Happy anniversary, babe. Three years today… and I’m stuck in bloody Manchester instead of with you. I hate that I’m not there, sitting across from you at some overpriced restaurant, or curled up on the sofa with you at home.
I’m sorry. I thought this job would be exciting — and it is, I guess — but right now it just feels like it’s keeping me away from the person I most want to be with. First proper role, first big project, and I can’t exactly tell my new boss ‘sorry, can’t make it, it’s my anniversary.’ Foot in the door and all that.
I promise, when I’m back, I’ll make it up to you. Candlelight, flowers, ridiculous amounts of chocolate … whatever you want, it’s yours.
Anyway … happy anniversary. Again. Three years of you putting up with my snoring, my ‘system’ for laundry, my late-night pacing before big presentations. And somehow, you still love me. You do, right? Please say yes, otherwise the dinner reservation I’ve already made for the second I get home is going to be very awkward.
Seriously though. You’re the best thing in my life, Ominis. Always will be.”
May 5, 2028
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Happy anniversary, my love. Four years. Can you believe it? Four years ago today you called me your boyfriend for the first time, and I swear I’ve never been happier.
Tonight I thought we’d keep it simple. Just us, a bottle of wine, and the flat all to ourselves. This is also our first anniversary together since we graduated. Sometimes, I feel like I miss Professor Sharp glaring daggers at me, or Professor Ronen forgetting you’re blind and asking you to follow the instructions on the board. In one way, life was so much simpler back then.
But I’m also excited for the future, and everything that lies before us. I have a pretty good feeling about the job interview yesterday, though anything is better than working for Rookwood. But Sirona seems really nice, and I think she liked me. So yeah. Today we’re celebrating not only how far we’ve come, but everything exciting that awaits us.
I love you. More now than I did even last year, and that’s saying something.”
October 2, 2028 – 18:41
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Babe, I swear our upstairs neighbor has started a bowling league in his living room. Either that, or he’s tap dancing in steel-toe boots. How is it even possible to make that much noise?
I almost went up to complain, but then I remembered I’m a coward and also you said I can’t pick fights with strangers in our building since we’ve only lived here for two months. And I mean, it is nicer than our student flat, especially since we no longer have Hobhouse lamenting over his late essays through the wall at 2AM, but still. Still. If you hear a crash later, it’s probably me getting crushed when they inevitably break the floor and fall through the ceiling and time it so they land on me while I’m in the shower or something. Pray for me.”
November 11, 2028 – 12:23
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Okay, you can’t get mad at me… but I may or may not have put your sweater in the wash by mistake. And now it’s about two sizes smaller and could probably fit a child.
I’ll buy you a new one. Or three. Or ten. You’re allowed to bully me about it for the rest of time, but not today, because today I am officially declaring myself the best boyfriend ever, because I brought you your favorite pastry from the café downstairs. See? Balanced karma.”
December 14, 2028 – 09:07
Love ❤️: New voice message
“Right. Tonight. Seven o’clock sharp. And before you start with the sarcastic remarks — yes, I will notice if you’re even five minutes late.
Wear something nice. Like, proper nice. I’ve booked somewhere special and I don’t want to be the only one overdressed.
And before you argue, yes, this is important to me. So please, Ominis, just… go with it. Let me do this properly.
I’ll pick you up after work, so don’t wander off anywhere. Got it? Good. See you tonight, love.”
December 16, 2028 – 10:42
Fiancé❤️: New voice message
“Hey, baby. So, I told Anne this morning. She screamed so loud I think she actually burst my eardrum. Good thing you weren’t there — then you’d be both blind and deaf, and that would’ve been awkward.
She demanded to see the ring, of course. She approves. For once it seems like I made a smart choice. But honestly… wasn’t it kind of romantic of me? The discreet braille inscription on the inside? That was actually Garreth’s idea. Can you believe he has good ideas? Don’t tell him I admitted that.
Anyway… you should’ve seen Solomon’s face when I told him. It was a perfect mix of horrified and resigned. I’m framing that memory.
I’ll be home today, but it will probably be late. Don’t wait up for me. There’s leftovers in the fridge, second shelf to the left. Love you, bye.”
January 3, 2029 – 14:19
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Okay, baby, I’ve officially looked at so many wedding venues my brain is melting. There’s a manor house with a ridiculous fountain, a converted barn with fairy lights, and some ultra-modern glass thing with a view of the river.
I keep trying to imagine us in each one and they all look like Pinterest boards exploded. Which one do you like? Or do we just pick the one with the least terrifying bathroom acoustics for the band?”
January 15, 2029 – 18:47
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Alright, so. Guest list time. And before you start sighing, I know your family is a nightmare. But unfortunately, baby, if we want to avoid being disowned in print somewhere, we have to invite them. All of them. Yes, even that aunt. You know the one. The one who kept asking if I was your ‘caretaker’ the first time she met me? Yeah. Her.
But look, on the bright side. You’ve got what, like sixty cousins? That means the seating chart will be so chaotic no one will even notice us. Meanwhile, my entire family fits into a corner table. Solomon, Anne, maybe her girlfriend if they’re still together by then. That’s literally it.
Then we’ve got our actual chosen family: Imelda, Garreth, Amit, Poppy… and if Garreth tries to spike the punch again, we’re putting him next to Solomon for a proper scolding.
Gods, it’s weird though, isn’t it? Seeing it all written out. It’s real. We’re actually doing this. Getting married. Me and you. Even if it means sharing oxygen with your terrifying relatives.”
January 22, 2029 – 11:23
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Okay, hear me out. Music playlists. I spent two hours today trying to decide what we should walk out to after the ceremony and I think I’ve officially lost my mind. Every song sounds either too sappy, too dramatic, or too much like something Garreth would strip to after three drinks.
I thought about that violin cover of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love,’ but then Anne said it’s too cliché. Like, sorry, it’s our wedding, not an indie film premiere!
Anyway, we still need to pick the first dance song too. And before you suggest it: no, we’re not doing that weird jazz thing you like. I want romance, not elevator music.”
February 8, 2029 – 10:37
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“We need to talk about cakes. Ominis. There are so many cakes. Chocolate ganache, lemon drizzle, pistachio with rose, a tower of cupcakes shaped like a swan. Do we just pick one at random? Do we blindfold me so it’s fair? Oh wait — that’s already an advantage for you.
Anne says to just go with a simple two-tier. I say go big or go home. Thoughts?”
February 14, 2029 – 11:13
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Happy birthday and Happy Valentine’s day, my love! I’ll be home soon to celebrate you. Why the heck was my suit fitting scheduled for 8AM on a Wednesday? And yes, it was an absolute nightmare, thank you for asking.
First of all, no one told me tailors are basically professional invaders of personal space. I swear the man was one centimeter away from giving me a very uninvited grope. All in the name of ‘checking the inseam,’ apparently. I’ve never stood so still in my life.
But! The suit itself, without giving anything away, is perfect. You’re going to love it. Like, really love it. I might actually look respectable for once. Anne said I almost looked like I belonged in a magazine ad. Solomon said I looked ‘like a groom.’ Which… yeah. I guess I am.
Anyway, the next fitting’s in a few weeks. I promise not to flash the poor tailor out of sheer panic this time.”
February 28, 2029 – 13:02
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“So apparently we need wedding favors. Like… little gifts for the guests? I didn’t even know that was a thing. Anne says it’s tradition. I said, what kind of tradition involves giving people a parting gift for showing up and eating all our food?
I tried to come up with ideas, but everything sounds stupid. Mini candles? Boring. Chocolate? Predictable. Little jars of honey with our initials on them? I’ll die before I approve that.
Maybe we should just do something practical. Like earplugs, for when Garreth inevitably tries karaoke after the reception.”
March 12, 2029 – 16:55
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“So… uh… how do you want to do the walking thing? Like, should we walk together? Should you walk alone? Should I meet you halfway? Do we choreograph this? I’m not trying to be weird, I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable or have you tripping over some random aisle runner.
I’m overthinking this, aren’t I? Okay. We’ll talk it through later. Just… I want it to be perfect for you.”
March 30, 2029 – 11:03
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Okay. So the venue guy just cancelled our tour. Last minute. I was already halfway there when he called. Good thing we weren’t too sold on that one, but still — seriously? I think the universe is trying to tell me to just marry you in our living room with takeout and a bottle of cheap wine.
Don’t tempt me, Gaunt. I might actually do it.”
April 9, 2029 – 23:14
Fiancé ❤️:New voice message
“Alright, so apparently I have to do a speech at this thing. Like… vows and a speech. Double pressure. What if I trip over my words like a moron? Or worse, start crying halfway through and can’t stop?
I mean, I will cry, let’s be honest. But you’re not allowed to laugh when it happens. Or do that smug little smile you do when I’m making an idiot of myself. Actually, no, do. I love that smile. Just… I hope it doesn’t come out sounding like complete nonsense. Gods, why did we decide on this big wedding thing again? Oh yeah, because you deserve the world. And because you’re an aristocratic little bastard with a family tree more complex and bigger than Garreth’s ego. Right. Okay. That’s fine. I’ll just… write note cards. Or tattoo the vows on my hand. That’s normal, right?”
April 21, 2029 – 17:28
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Baby, remind me why we thought a seating chart was a good idea. I’ve been staring at this thing for three hours.
Your cousin’s divorced and remarried, but still friends with her ex, who’s also invited. Anne doesn’t want to sit near Garreth because he’ll ‘kill the vibe.’ And Garreth and Imelda can’t sit together because last time they nearly started a food fight. I also don’t want Marvolo in my line of sight because he always stares at me like he knows what I’m doing to his little brother and he either doesn’t approve or he wants to join in. He needs to be seated facing away from our table.
At this point, I’m two steps away from just putting name cards in a hat and letting fate decide.
I swear, if anyone complains on the day, I’m eloping with you in a courthouse and we’re calling it a day.”
May 1, 2029 – 01:47
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Okay, so… Garreth is officially banned from planning anything ever again. The stag night was… chaos. I’ll spare you the worst details, but let’s just say there was karaoke, three separate complaints from neighbors, and at one point I’m pretty sure I was crowd-surfing on top of a table. Don’t ask me how.
But I survived. And I didn’t do anything monumentally stupid, I swear. Except maybe let Garreth pick the songs. If you hear whispers about me singing ABBA at top volume… lies. All lies.
We’re on our way back now. We lost Amit but I think he’ll be fine. Well, he was active on Snapchat so I assume he’s alive somewhere, just not … with us. See you soon. Love you.”
May 4, 2029 – 22:56
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Tomorrow. Tomorrow, babe. We’re getting married.
I don’t even know what to say. I’m just… buzzing. Nervous, yeah, but mostly just… overwhelmed. In the best way. I keep thinking about the moment I’ll hear your footsteps coming toward me and knowing you’re walking up the aisle to me, for me.
I probably won’t sleep at all tonight. Which is fine. I don’t think sleep would help, anyway. I just… can’t wait. Gods, I love you. I love you so much.”
May 5, 2029 – 07:32
Fiancé ❤️: New voice message
“Ugh. This is torture. I hate this rule about not seeing each other on the day. Who came up with that? It’s stupid. I woke up and immediately wanted to tell you how much I love you and now I can’t until the bloody ceremony.
Anne keeps hovering, making sure I’m eating and not running off somewhere. Garreth is useless, obviously. And I just want to fast-forward to the part where I get to hold your hand and call you my husband.
Not long now, baby. Not long at all.”
May 8, 2029 – 14:22
Husband ❤️: New voice message
“Okay, I think I’ve finally stopped crying. Anne keeps sending me photos from the wedding and I swear, every single one of them turns me into a puddle again. You looked… unreal, Ominis. And you kept smiling that stupidly soft smile the whole time. I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy.
Also, Garreth texted to say he doesn’t remember half the reception, which, honestly, checks out. The photographer said she’s never seen a best man dance so enthusiastically with a chair before.
Anyway, I just wanted to say it again — my husband. My husband. I’m never going to get tired of saying that.”
May 10, 2029 – 19:04
Husband ❤️: New voice message
“Packing for the honeymoon is officially the worst thing ever. How do you even pack for somewhere that nice? Anne said to bring something ‘classy but comfortable.’ Garreth said to bring sunscreen and a flask. I’m taking both pieces of advice.
I’m still not telling you where we’re going. You’ll find out tomorrow when we land, and no, you can’t use your sixth sense to figure it out early.
June 1, 2029 – 21:36
Husband ❤️: New voice message
“Okay, confession time: I tried to cook dinner tonight before you got home. I thought I’d surprise you. The smoke alarm has opinions. So does the cat from next door, who screamed through the window when the pan caught fire. Don’t worry, the flat’s fine, and I’ve opened every single window in existence.
But, uh, we might be ordering takeout again.
Don’t tell Anne. She’ll revoke my adult license.”
June 10, 2029 – 09:52
Husband ❤️: New voice message
“You know what I realised this morning? It’s been, what, around a month since the wedding? And I still wake up stupidly happy just hearing you breathe next to me. That’s disgusting, isn’t it?
Also, you left your tea on the counter again. I can smell the neglect. If it goes cold, I’m drinking it myself. That’s what you get for marrying a thief.
Anyway, I love you, even if you refuse to learn how to properly seal the bread bag. See you tonight, my eternally infuriating, perfect husband.”
October 3, 2029 – 09:52
Husband ❤️: New voice message
“Hey baby. On my way home from work now. I’m in the store, picking up some oatmilk and bread. I have a dinner reservation made for us tonight. I didn’t want to say anything because it’s sort of a surprise. Just a little something to celebrate my bonus at work and you finally getting around to writing that book of yours. I
By the way… I realised this morning it’s been exactly six years since I sent you that very first voice message. Time really does fly when you spend it with the person you love, eh?
I’ll be home in half an hour. Text or call if you need anything else. Love you.
Yes, perfect, thank you. No, I’m good. Have a nice day! Thanks!
Oh, hell. I think I bought the wrong brand. Shoot. Now where’s my — hey, is this still recording? Come on, shut off — bloody thing and bloody gloves — oh, come on you stupid pho—”