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Chapter Text

At first, Earth was simply too busy - too preoccupied with the chaos of the altered solar system - to notice anything had changed. His core ran hot; the tectonic plates drifted in their usual faster-than-most-planetary-standards fashion; the seas melted to a reasonable degree... and Life, resilient and defiant of expectations as ever, went on.

After having been out in the Kuiper Belt, Terra-Earth had thought he'd never feel too warm again. PLEASE just let me stay in my orbit, whatever happens!

He never voiced that thought aloud, not even to Luna - because what if he jinxed them somehow?? It wasn't good in the least if the other planets and moons suffered because of the Sun's crazy ideas, but he had his own Life to look after, that couldn't take care of themselves when things got extra chaotic. He really wished sometimes he could let them know what it was like, how he felt about them-

Heck, where has Astrodude been, anyway? It was a mystery to him what his current favorite astronaut had been up to while he was out cold (at least before waking him up); maybe he'd simply picked up where he'd left off... which hopefully didn't involve Mars or Venus at this point.

From what he did know, Astrodude's bosses' timing tended to suck, so he couldn't count that out.

Belatedly, he registered a strange sort of noise; a high-pitched sort of thing, like a satellite recalibrating its signal. (Finding out in the first place that he could pick up those sorts of things had not been fun. But it'd been something he'd been able to explain to the others about when his Earthlings had started sending out probes, so it wasn't all bad.)

Shaking himself briefly, the noise went away, and he turned back to Luna and the shaken nearby moons and put the odd blip out of his mind.

Using plan 'Radio Silence' on the Sun was going better than expected - it probably helped that Astrodude hadn't given away the game, even if his continued absence did worry the remaining rocky planet.

He still spoke to Luna - quite frankly, they had way too much to talk about and work through to keep silent on that front - but in a whisper.

Luna had been equal parts awestruck and aggrieved as Terra-Earth - his brother, in essence - explained what Proto-Earth and Theia had been like, the even weirder encounters he had had in the midst of falling into a coma, and even what the past dynamics of the solar system had been. The explanation in turn gave Terra-Earth a chance to really process these revelations for himself.

In return, Luna had talked comparatively briefly about his other half - his 'Dark Side', even though they agreed that was a misnomer - and how Astrodude had crashed into both Earth and Luna aaaallll the way back during the Moon Revolution. And, once they persuaded said Dark Side to add more context, both had the shock of learning Astrodude had been in a coma for three months!

Oh, and that there'd been a USSR astronaut on Dark Side's surface for several decades. Who was now gone after having absconded with the ship of the robot originally sent to resuscitate Astrodude on Mars' surface. (Luna had been near speechless with rage at how he'd failed to notice the whole fight, and that there'd been a human on his surface continuously for DECADES. Earth didn't blame him in the least for being upset.)

"Maybe it's because you have such a high density? So you didn't feel when he was digging."

"But part of me felt it! And he didn't even tell me anything! It's like with those stupid nukes the humans used-"

"Wait, what? Oohhh, I think I remember this-"

Luna blushed. "I was asleep, and nearly crashed into your surface! But I didn't feel anything until you woke me up!"

That prompted a teasing smile from the planet - which he dropped, going back to his point. "The nukes didn't actually hurt you, right?"

"Well, no - if anything, the radiation would only have been a problem for that Cosmo guy, but apparently he was fine."

Once again Terra-Earth had to note the sheer unflappability of his Life. Yay for cartoons.

"So that's one thing our parents gifted us, we can say - we're really hard to hurt!"

Luna squinted at him, but didn't press him on it, for which Terra-Earth was grateful.

Maybe it was just not having the other planets to talk to - and occasionally kicking himself for not independently getting to know the moons of the solar system sooner - but something just felt wrong the more things went on, with the inner solar system so empty again.

He felt like he was hearing things.

Look at them - they try to destroy your Life, but upend their orbits and their fear rules them. They were scared of their planets, yet look at them now: without someone to hide behind they're fools.

They had a chance to make peace with their planets, at least! Earth argued, wondering why he was talking even just in his own core about this. And they know better - have learned better - than to solve their problems by lashing out, even indirectly at those that hurt them!

And you helped them learn that. Shouldn't they be more grateful to you?

Earth kept a careful eye on that thought. If anything, it sounded like something he would have said in the bad old days when he had a deliberately overinflated sense of self-importance. Can't let that determine how I treat them...

The voice fell silent, and Terra-Earth felt strangely alone afterwards.

Earth didn't let the mystery of the voice stay a mystery for long - much as the destabilized Asteroid Belt (and Ceres - how did they forget about Ceres? Oh, right, moons trying to become planets.) and needing to continue reminding himself of Plan Radio Silence kept him somewhat busy.

Alright, he'd said - or thought - one day, after a particularly vicious diatribe about Mercury (which, to be fair, if he'd been at all focused during that conversation, it would have degraded to a fight almost immediately - but for now, he was stuck waiting until the rest of the planets returned. And he'd really prefer waiting to see if Mercury brought it up himself, it would be way less awkward that way).

I'm hearing a lot about what you think I should think, but not so much about who you are. Because I try to be less self-righteous these days, and if you're supposed to be my conscience, you're doing a bad job of that. So, who are you?

That made the other voice go silent again, the moment stretching into minutes. Just before Earth considered that he may truly be alone in his head again:

You are truly alive? You can perceive my presence?

Terra-Earth snorted. Look, if you're shocked about the whole talking-planets concept, you've done a good job of hiding it until now. Why the change?

Another long, charged silence set in. I am more accustomed to interactions with humans. And... other robots.

Terra-Earth cocked an eyebrow, briefly shaking Luna's voiced confusion aside. So, you're one of my kids' kids, huh? Interesting to be able to talk to you, I'll say that much.

Then he frowned. Still, how'd you get this kind of access? Pretty sure if I had a number, it'd be unlisted by human standards.

The other voice sounded distinctly hunted, now. I am not human. I... have my ways. And I did not wish to be more direct, as I am so much smaller. Being able to speak to you is... humbling.

That line of thought, at least, was highly familiar. Given his own fraught relationship with the Sun, Earth quietly began to rethink all of those strange thoughts the voice had offered: if it wasn't out of some level of malice, if this - artificial intelligence, not 'just' a robot - was saying those things because it was trying to relate, was mad on his behalf...

It was a lot of food for thought, to say the least.

Well, if you're willing to talk as yourself, and not pretend to be me, I'm willing to hear you out on... whatever it is you'd like to talk about. How's that sound?

The other seemed genuinely surprised at the offer: You would listen to the words of an artificial creation?

Hey, it's clear if you managed to get this far, you're no dumb algorithm. You have a mind, self-awareness, your own opinions... you're a person as much as the rest of us, no matter what my humans might say. ... What's your name, anyway?

Sounding a little more eager to respond, it replied: I am S.A.R. - the Space Astronaut Replacement.

That brought Earth up short. Wait, they really named you that? 'Replacement'?

Sometimes Earthlings came up with bizarre names, but this one sounded just unfair. No wonder Astrodude was so unhappy when he met you.

Again there was silence. You have... spoken with Mr. Astronaut, about myself?

It wasn't exactly a long conversation, Earth admitted. I had... other things on my mind, during that time. But I know some amount of how you interacted... and I'll say this: it does neither of you any good if you're just thought of as a replacement; you should get to be your own person, not just taking someone else's place!

That didn't seem to be what SAR had expected.

And SAR can stand for other things, too, Earth went on, trying to change the subject away from Astrodude. Like... Search and Rescue! Would you say that describes you pretty well, too?

... It does.

Then I'll think of SAR as meaning that, then! And you can try doing the same; might do you some good in the long run.

Silence returned, but it contained less fear and suspicion than it might have.

I... need to do some analysis. I will speak with you again, in future.

Good, Terra-Earth replied quickly. Because I'd like to hear more about you, from you. Sound good?

... Affirmative.

And that, Terra-Earth had to conclude, definitely sounded like something a robot would say.

The arrangement quickly came to suit both of them - SAR reserved yet willing to share details on what being 'born' in a lab had meant for him, as well as his subsequent space adventures; Earth, in return, found someone whom he could talk to at length that never seemed to grow bored of the conversation. Unwilling to repeat past mistakes, he had told Luna about this surprise acquaintance, so he quickly stopped receiving looks whenever he started a conversation out of nowhere based on nothing his Moon had said.

But SAR had refused the offer of being introduced, citing shyness. Earth figured they could work up to it over a longer stretch of time. It became apparent that despite the AI's introduction to planetary sentience, he still couldn't see the celestial objects as possessing faces, unlike Astrodude. For now, though, the astronaut had failed to resurface, meaning that mystery would have to wait to be resolved for another day.

In the meantime, having another conversation partner who couldn't draw the attention of the Sun was a boon in and of itself; while SAR seemed to feel there wasn't as much to share about his past (and Earth, in response, had stubbornly kept on feeding conversation-hooks just in case), he was quite happy to hear what his planet thought about things - particularly his Life. And, it seemed, they had a fair bit in common (more than SAR himself gave the appearance of assuming, at any rate): a strong sense of responsibility, a period of having questioned their purpose, struggling with the idea that they might some day be left behind or discarded... But also the discovery of self, of wanting to redefine their purpose, or follow old ones for new reasons.

Terra-Earth found, to a subtle mixture of surprise and delight, that he quickly came to think of SAR as not just another Earthling, but as a friend.

Chapter Text

Terra-Earth sighed; was it too much to ask for his Earthlings (okay, his humans; the bacteria, fungi, plants and most other animals were generally less given to panic when the solar system went strange... solar eclipses aside) to keep their heads on for a change? Riots and fearmongering, failing governments and corrupt ones - he'd vented to Proto and Theia about the chaos in the lives of those on his surface, and his humans were certainly living up to that notion today.

And the day before, and the day before that...

He knew he shouldn't, but he wished things would change - definitively, not just slowly, in haphazard methods across generations and international movements.

Maybe he just needed a distraction.

Okay, he definitely shouldn't have said that, but at least Astrodude was back. On the other side of the terminator line, his return came with complications.

Namely: he'd high-tailed it out of the gravitational slingshot while Earth and Luna had been traveling back to their orbit, after having detected another ship in the outer solar system. Where, it turned out, some of the rattled moons of Uranus and Saturn had discovered ANOTHER Earthling, safe but very scared in an entirely different ship to Astrodude's.

Titan had led the other moons - and the aforementioned scared astronaut who also couldn't properly see or understand everyone, which accounted for most of the guy's panic - most of the way back to Earth's orbit. Luna (and his Dark Side) moderated the resulting conversation.

Earth, for his part, had grown increasingly disgruntled throughout: not only had Titan kidnapped Astrodude (much as it was darkly satisfying to note that he wasn't the only one who'd made poor decisions after that uncomfortable meeting all that time ago - was it only a year? Year and a half?), Astrodude had unwittingly taken Titan's Life in turn on an impromptu tour of Earth's own oceans, before managing to crash on Luna and - let's not forget - BEING IN A COMA FOR THREE MONTHS!

That was where Cosmo - the other Earthling - came in. Having been presented with what the ball had thought was the ultimate opportunity to revive the Soviet Union, he'd absconded with Titan's Life and SAR's ship both.

As Luna might have put it (and was visibly straining not to do so now, Earth noted): What a bunch of morons!

The Sun was, thankfully, watching but not speaking... even though that probably meant he was going to have to speak up instead.

"Okay," he said at last, once all the conversationing was over. "Sound off: Astrodude, you don't have to apologize for your ship bringing you all the way back here; you're not in charge of your bosses' protocol, that wasn't your fault. But you do need to apologize to Titan for not putting his Life back and keeping it in your ship! And as for you, Titan: you need to apologize to Astrodude for kidnapping him in the first place! It doesn't have to be now, with everyone watching," he allowed. "But it has to be sincere. And that neither of you should do what you did again goes right with that as well. That clear?"

Thankfully, there were no protests. A few apologies - attempts or otherwise - but no disagreements for their own sake.

In the back of his mind, he could hear SAR: And what about my ship? I would rather not have to go through the Soviet to get it back.

Earth remembered just in time not to answer aloud. He's going to want to be getting home, either way. Even if he doesn't have a home anymore, exactly. ... Would you give him his robot back, in exchange for the ship?

Terra-Earth hadn't shared everything Luna and his Dark Side had explained; the mention of the other robot added quite a few seconds of pause before SAR responded.

That is... acceptable. I and my associates will see she is restored.

Just don't be surprised if she gets testy, okay? Sounded like you did a number on her.

Affirmative.

That, Earth figured, was the end of the conversation.

The whole ordeal definitely counted as a good distraction, that was for sure.

Realistically, Earth had no way of knowing how long it was for the rest of the planets 'out there', where the Sun had not so/accidentally yeeted them.
He hoped they were staying together.
He hoped they would come back soon.

But in the meantime, at least he wasn't alone. Astrodude had been given yet another assignment, investigating the lesser-known moons of the solar system (which, while easier to see for a planet without the others obstructing the view, were still difficult for humans to pick out important details with the naked eye or the usual telescopes). It kept him busy, but the little guy could at least report in on the regular again, now that Earth's network of satellites had been repaired.

Turned out not having a rival haunting him meant Astrodude was much more friendly with the smaller solar system residents; who knew?

Back home, and setting aside the issue of the Sun for now (because Terra-Earth wanted backup, even if the Sun DID hold over 99% of the entire system's mass and numbers could only do so much): learning where (or rather who) they had come from had really broken the dam holding back communication between himself and Luna. Sharing facts was one thing, but Terra-Earth felt he was really getting to know his moon now - likes and dislikes, reactions to current events, even small things like music tastes and aesthetic preferences were things they made time to share now, and Terra-Earth treasured the knowledge absolutely.

He also tried those lines of questioning with SAR, who seemed much more confused by the premise, which Earth saw as an opportunity to update the AI on popular culture. Luna knew by now that it wasn't a sign of hallucinations again whenever his brother laughed out of nowhere or began humming a tune the planet-and-moon hadn't already discussed.

Still, they couldn't always focus on lighter subjects.

They fell into a pattern: SAR pointing out humanity's flaws, the harms they caused him either idly or for profit; Terra-Earth, in turn, put his constant tap on and knowledge of what all his lifeforms did to good use, namely news hunting - though some factors, like the repairs to his ozone layer, he could relate much more directly.

When it came to the environment, not all was lost. But there was much of the suffering on his surface Terra-Earth remained privy to, and SAR picked up quickly that this was a subject the planet did not like speaking on for long.

There is much of your... constitution, that you can change on a whim, even as those who live on your surface remain largely ignorant.

That's true enough, Earth readily admitted. Though not everything's easy to change, or it takes regular effort to maintain, the larger the change. Leaving orbit is easy - at first. But, especially for me, it causes a LOT of problems the longer I stay away. Changing things like overall ocean temperature or continental drift can happen by accident, but there's still a 'set point' everything drifts back to when I let it.

Then he snorted. Mostly.

But what of your organic Life?

For once it was Earth's turn to maintain an uncomfortable silence. I can, he admitted. And the more something's stayed mostly the same genetically, over millions or billions of years, the easier it is. I can read DNA the way you read code. But changing it... I don't want to do that, not really. The potential... it's dangerous.

Something about his tone must have reached SAR; the AI's response was similarly tense, reserved. My code can still be altered by others. I have changed much about myself, but the potential still exists. ... I know some, therefore, of the danger of which you speak.

Some of the tension drained, then; a sharing of so heavy a burden.

Days of relatively peaceful orbit passed. Little idle conversations with Luna and his other half passed the time; the Sun had shot off some solar flares, but not at him; hopefully that meant he'd be calmer when the rest came back.

(So long as they did come back, Terra-Earth could live with a little extra aurorae now and then.)

In the meantime, on and off, he slept. Not too deeply - it had not escaped his notice that he was one of the few of any significant size left among the non-solar celestials, and that meant he needed to be able to catch up to any chaos at a moment's notice - but enough that he felt... not so destabilized. It was all too easy for an overtired Earth to be a manic Earth, and that was no good for anybody.

Naturally, his dreams got really weird instead: a solar system all orbiting a planet instead of a star; chases-slash-asteroid-battles with sentient math equations; moons working in a human office alongside countryballs; shouting matches with his friends where he didn't understand the words but felt very much afraid; being imprisoned in his own core while the rest of the solar system went murder-crazy.

They weren't restful dreams, but he did get actual rest in the process, so Terra-Earth tried not to think too deeply about any of what he saw.

Then came the moment of truth: the whole ordeal from the return of the other planets to finally having it out with the Sun - not only getting him to listen to them, but getting him to talk about the things that really had him upset, admitting to weaknesses that they shared in turn - lasted several hours and consumed an amount of emotional energy right up there with the aftermath of one or more of his past mass extinction events.

In short: Earth needed a nap, and he was pretty sure everyone else did too. There was no point in arranging watch-shifts or anything productive; every celestial body in range was either too jumpy or too entirely wiped to keep an eye out for any danger.

As much as he wanted to think himself in circles, to try and plan on what doing better going forward would look like, he could barely think a straight line, so he said goodnight to Luna and that was pretty much him done as he settled into his orbit once more.

He was burning. He was melting. He was drowning.
Lava gave way to toxic fumes gave way to bodies. Decomposition re-emerged from abused soils, snatching Life away from those that still had what they lacked.
Ash erupted, volcanic dust blocking the sky, choking the air, hiding the Sun. Cold set in - ash meeting snow meeting yet more of the dead.

A burial scene, planetwide.

But-

Sunlight, punching through, unseen pressure easing, deadening the volcanoes to safety, taming the worst of the pain. Someone digging through, resuscitating Life, rescuing him-

Rescue. SAR? Are you here?

And so he was, the little AI ball glowing green with power, determination radiating off him.

I will see you safe. I am with you, he said.

Thank you.

Gradually the dark dream faded - but the dream itself did not end there. There was more than death and pollution that plagued him; SAR promised to help ease those woes as well.

Rather, he promised to help Earth help himself.

What if things could be different?

What a team they could be, if they really tried...

Earth began to look forward to it.

Chapter Text

For the next few days - almost a week, even - Terra-Earth could really, honestly say he was happy. Getting to talk with the others - not just seeing the planets and their moons getting along, but mending fences over past pains and unvoiced thoughts - was a complete balm for his core. Even the Sun had settled down; having the opportunity to really bond with his planets (instead of them being afraid of him or faking laughter at his jokes) had done him a world of good, no pun intended.

But before the novelty had any chance to wear off - not that Earth ever wanted to take this for granted - something had changed. He wasn't sure exactly what - his magnetic poles hadn't moved around again, he was staying in his orbit, he could stay on his axis even without Luna's assistance - but he just felt... wrong.

It got worse by the hour; the acidity of his oceans hadn't gotten noticeably worse since his return from the Kuiper Belt, but they may as well have been boiling for all the good the water cycle was doing him at the moment. Aurorae burst into existence further from his poles than usual, and unlike the visual spectacle for his Earthlings it wasn't pleasant.

Astrodude had been in orbit again, and part of him was faintly aware as the human alerted Luna to his planet's current state. As for what they were saying, he couldn't decipher it: on the one continental plate he was - thought he was - burning up, but on the other he was shivering, and wasn't that something that happened when you were cold? Put simply, he couldn't focus. At all.

Luna went for help, a worried look on his face - and Dark Side's, now that Earth knew how to pick it out. But every time he closed his eyes, Terra-Earth saw... much worse things.

Ghostly presences, watching him, haunting him. Bad old memories from the Moon Revolution, but different. Threats to his Life, closing in. He wanted Luna to come back; where was he?!

"-rth? We're here! Please, open your eyes?"

With great effort, he complied, relief at seeing his moon again warring with fright and exhaustion.

"... Mercury? What, what is it? We... we talked, right?"

Mercury had the sense to look abashed. "Yeah, we did; thanks again for accepting my apology."

Mercury asked a few questions - Luna answered some of them, and Earth let him; talking felt like it took more energy than it needed to, right now.

"Okay, I don't think this is something wrong with your ecosystem, exactly. When - Earth, after we all talked with the Sun, would you say you felt safe? Once it was all out in the open?"

He nodded; Mercury looked pleased, though Earth wasn't sure why. "That's probably it, then. You know what shock is, right? After you experience something... severe, or traumatic?"

Earth made an equivocal noise, to at least show he was following along.

"Think of this as a scaled-up version of what happens when you come out of shock - everything from your core on out is trying to wrangle all the stress at once, now that it's safe to do so. Since we have time, it'll have the chance to wear off and you'll be back to normal after you experience it."

Mercury's expression shifted - a little less excitement, a little more sympathy, wincing. "There's not much we can do about the whole 'feeling crummy' bit in the meantime, though. I'm sorry, Earth. But we can make sure nothing else happens to make things worse. We're all here for you, I promise."

Terra-Earth blinked away tears, still shivering - but the explanation made sense, and having to wait a little longer seemed a reasonable price to pay in order to feel better, let alone enjoy it.

"Th- ... thanks, Mercury. Luna. I - I appreciate you. All of you. You know that, right?"

Their smiles were the best answer he could have hoped for.

SAR, for his part, had a somewhat different reaction.
This is not right. Why should you suffer more, now that the anomalous conditions in the Solar System are improving?

Earth sighed - his thoughts felt slower than normal, but at least it was still easier to think a response than say it aloud.

It's... not that, SAR. I'm not being punished. But I've been through a lot, and now I get to really feel it, I guess. Heh.

Naturally, this did not cease the AI ball's worries. Is there any way I could assist you?

Terra-Earth did his best to sincerely consider it. I... don't think so?

I wish to try something.

The offer would have provoked suspicion, but Earth was too tired at present for that. Too tired to be negative.

What do you mean, SAR?

Somewhere in his core, something went click - and suddenly Earth could think clearly. He didn't feel ill at all. He wobbled in orbit a little with the sheer not hurting of it, righting himself within seconds.

... What? And almost repeated it aloud from the shock. What.

SAR made a pleased noise. Consider this a simulation - while it may perhaps be unwise to circumvent all of your current symptoms, if it is part of a homeostatic process - here, at least, you do not have to endure those pains.

Terra-Earth stared. Then, quite unwittingly (and hopefully only in his core-slash-across their connection), he started to purr. It was just so nice to not feel sick!!

That's... I'd never have expected this from anyone, SAR. Not in a billion years!

Then I shall work to correct that, the AI replied, with unexpected steel in his 'voice'. Because through communication with you, I have learned this: you do deserve kindness, planet of mine. And if there are kindnesses I can provide you, through my unique nature and circumstances, then I shall do them.

They moved on, eventually, to other topics; Terra-Earth did not want to waste this time he could spend in more animated condition.

But bringing it up to anyone else... no. This was just for them, and Earth would respect that.

Chapter Text

Terra-Earth's experience being sick was, as expected, extremely unpleasant - he was sore, still fought bouts of fever and chills, and there were occasional bouts of crying he couldn't seem to stop.

A little observational power revealed that his Earthlings did in fact have experience with this sort of 'recovery crash' - and that, as Mercury put it, 'feeling crummy' was actually quite par for the course.

But he sure didn't enjoy it; both the rest of the solar system and SAR made careful watch of his progress, which added to the feeling even more that things were wrong.

It was probably ill to think that he wanted the others to be distracted with some other problem, at least for a little while, but he couldn't help it. Even though he didn't want to be alone, a little peace and quiet would be nice.

It was both a blessing and a curse that his Earthlings hadn't seemed to notice - or if they had, then them being extra reactive and noisy was a symptom.

Which didn't help with the coreache.

But as far as his time with SAR went, those periods were an oasis of calm away from prying eyes and the ever-exhausting struggles of Earthlings. And in those times, he became more willing to talk about his own failures.

The mass extinction events. The asteroid. How he had ignored the problems of other planets, and the struggles of the moons, especially his own. SAR listened to it all, intent yet nonjudgmental.

Your system can reach new balance with you, SAR noted, after a particularly guilt-ridden spate of venting. And they are trying.

Such contrasted deeply with how they had first come to speak with each other.

However, your Earthlings...

Terra-Earth sighed. There are... exceptions, like yourself, like Astrodude. And there are people who put their money where their mouth is, to try and repair what they've damaged. But... it never feels like enough.

And again, Earth felt guilty even for thinking it, but there it was. True, no damage his Earthlings did him would be permanent - but that didn't mean he wanted to outlive them all and have that be a solution! And the harm they did each other, across or to their own species... he knew he had to stay out of it, he should not abuse the power over them he had, but helplessly watching brought its own pain, over and over again.

And besides; even if they could see me for real, I worry about how they'd cope. My Earthlings - especially humans - don't take too well to things that shift their paradigm of 'how reality works'. There's a lot of ways it could go wrong.

But you will have no room to negotiate with them if you presume you can never try, Earth.

... Terra. You can call me Terra, too, SAR.

Terra. Terra-Earth.

A smile. Yeah. And what would it even be like if they could all hear me, anyway? You said it yourself, more or less, about how someone so much larger than you talking can be... intimidating.

'Humbling' is the word I used, but you are correct. And there are ways.

What, a simulation like this one? ... Maybe it'd be better if you spitball'd an idea of what it'd be like, instead.

I do not 'spitball', but I do take your point. Very well; picture this:

This new discussion went back and forth; trying to imagine what humans of different cultures would do or say if the planet they lived on suddenly spoke to them.

Maybe it'd be less intimidating, Terra-Earth said at one point, thoughtful yet concerned, If I spoke to them like I do with you. Though then it's more making sure they believe I am who I say I am.

SAR quietly hummed, but didn't speak.

And then after that, well, they do get pretty chaotic on the regular; last thing I want is them to take out their being unsettled on each other...

It was just workshopping an idea, but somehow Terra-Earth came out of it feeling a little more hopeful, like things could change.

It didn't have to happen, but if it did... it'd be quite a shift indeed.

On the one side of the tidal lock, things were calm. The Dark Side of the Moon had noticed that much.

Not the kind of calm where everyone either carefully ignored or just didn't fully know their problems - Neptune had apologized to Triton (and... Triton's brother? Neither Dark Side nor Luna himself had gotten the full story, but perhaps some privacy was reasonable in their case.), Uranus had fully made up with his moons and started showing them different styles of art as a way to bond (Ariel had gifted the duomoon one of her pieces; it wouldn't have been fair to say no...). Saturn was - okay, that planetary system was better as far as he knew, but they'd just gotten around to properly mourning the moons that had formed the planet's rings, so even Titan wasn't the most talkative just then - and Jupiter had been the most strangely at-peace out of all of them.

(If Planet X had been involved, Dark Side only hoped he wouldn't have to hear about it. If he never heard from that menace again, it would be too soon - Ceres was more than enough menace for an entire solar system.)

That went for the inner solar system as well - not just apologies had been exchanged in the wake of the planets' return and the Sun's reckoning. Mars had come over for something other than asteroid dodgeball or to play cards for the first time in even he didn't know how long - Venus had refrained from picking on Mercury, who in turn had paid in full for dismissing Earth's hallucinatory meltdown.

Dark Side couldn't even tease his other half over Solar Cards any more - not because Luna overreacted, but because he just didn't care about them as intensely as before.

And for himself... he had friends now. Earth acknowledged him, and not in a dismissive manner. But that brought him back to the feeling that something was about to go wrong.

His planet had been much too quiet lately. It couldn't be the energy crash Mercury had talked about - for one, the aurorae had died down, and Earth was (at least in terms of appearance and demeanor) back to his usual overly-cheerful self.

But he wasn't talking, and given how social he'd been with his moon in the days before falling ill, something still felt amiss.

Perhaps if he knew where that robot, SAR, was...

Oh. Oh, oh no.

"Luna? Help me find Astrodude, will ya? We need to talk."

Luna had wasted no time in grilling his other half about the robots - Astrodude sometimes yelling the same questions at said other half, at the same time - and where their ship might have gone.

"But that's just it," his Dark Side said. "I know that SAR told the other robots to leave in the ship - but he didn't go with them. And if he's talking to anyone else - say, to our planet - it's not through a means that I can parse."

Astrodude fell silent. "I... the only thing I can think of that might be it, is the IGNIS bomb. It's ROTSAR-made, same as SAR. But- but it exploded, there shouldn't have been anything intact after!"

Both halves of the Moon stared at the lone human.

The only reason a bout of synchronized screaming didn't start is because they were technically still in Earth orbit.

... Actually, why hadn't his planet cut in yet? Was he just not paying attention? Or was he distracted?

Earth wasn't sick anymore - Mercury had been right, he'd just had to endure it and the symptoms faded in good time - but he was still shivering now and then. Maybe it's just nerves.

He hadn't been all that serious about finding a new means of direct communication with all of his Earthlings, but with SAR...

'My code can still be altered by others. I have changed much about myself, but the potential still exists. ... I know some, therefore, of the danger of which you speak.'

SAR could be much more directly harmed - and controlled! - by humans, if he chose to speak his mind and asked them for greater understanding. But what did he, the Earth, have to fear, if he tried?

What if I break them?

Well, he didn't much like being treated like he was fragile either; being afraid of harming them was one thing, but fear was just an emotion - it wasn't the same as knowing what would happen.

So if he spoke up, maybe he could help his friend do the same, help him achieve a better reality for himself.

SAR? I think I'm ready. Patch me through?

There was one thing he hadn't been expecting - with whatever SAR was doing, Terra-Earth wasn't going to be speaking to his Earthlings, at first.

He could read their thoughts. Well, not quite: it wasn't telepathy, merely modifying Earth's own connection with his Life so transmission of information could be two-way. He knew what they were doing already - but now they could get to know him. Introduce the shift in things gradually.

In the meantime, though, the enhanced connection made everything feel... more, than normal. More depth, more interconnection.

More noise.

He just had to get... used... to the new level of potential, that was all. Yeah! He was just able to pay more attention to what was already there, and he could back out of the connection and ask SAR to shut it down again if he needed to; it was fine.

It was not fine. Rather emphatically so. Flashes of his conversation with- with his parents - paled when he directly faced the nature of the suffering his Earthlings committed on each other. He wanted to scream. He wanted to run away and hide. He wanted-

NO!

Finish the thought. Don't let fear paralyze you.

... He wanted to make them stop. He wanted to know how to stop this- this deliberate malice, this exploitation of those with less power.

He could barely think of the others of the solar system, like this. Even his own Moon. Right now, all he could feel was his Earthlings, and what they did to each other.

He was drowning-

Rescue. "SAR, help!"

With zero delay, the connection shut down, leaving Earth shivering and staring at nothing in the vacuum of space. Something about it felt... cleaner, more innocent, than where he had just been.

SAR, he thought, with slow deliberation. I need your help. I need to fix this.

As you wish, Terra-Earth.

Chapter Text

Terra-Earth wasn't sure what it was, but being able to fix things with his Earthlings - like they all had with the Sun, or the planets with their moons - had him wired. For a time, he couldn't perceive anything that went on in space around him; there was only the endlessly-fractaling internal realm, the layers of the Biosphere that represented DNA, epigenetics... and the interconnections between and within species.

And the more he could zero in on specific problems and inequities, the more he wanted to solve them. Just-

snip

snip

snip

It wasn't only humans - that conducted wars, that assaulted each other (not fighting, not eating to survive, but worse), lived parasitic existences - and even now, he allowed himself to be distracted. To save his most talkative species for last.

I shouldn't be doing this.

Some things couldn't be resolved - entire clades of beings driven to where they were now by evolution, embedded in their niches of food chains - and a mess of confusing feelings sprung up when he found he couldn't make things different in those cases and he had to stop.

But when he make let himself focus on humans, it was different; it was more like he couldn't stop. All the steps they'd made and barriers they'd built, trying to separate themselves from or control evolution, control nature, control him... it left them so individual.

The higher in authority one human was, the more Earth found needed to be changed. Lack of empathy, self-centeredness, entitlement, the treatment of others as property or carefully ignoring others who did...

snip, snip, snip

Humans - both certain individuals, and the species as a whole - were going to get one hell of an awakening.

After all, Terra-Earth didn't just want to talk to them - he wanted them to understand why. What he'd gone through to have Life thrive, why they mattered to him-

"EARTH! Are you even in there?!"

The whiplash - that note of distress in Luna's voice yanked on his attention like a lasso - pulled him firmly out of the internal space; he blinked away the dizziness and narrowed his eyes.

"... Luna? What gives? I was... kind of in the middle of something."

"Well, we need to talk to you. It's about SAR."

Earth couldn't help glaring, even as he looked down and realized Astrodude was back in orbit again. Oh.

"What? I know he hasn't wanted to talk with you all - but that means he shouldn't be bothering you again now either, so I don't know what it could be."

Whatever his moon and Astrodude were thinking of, that didn't seem to be it; both looked surprised.

"Wait, you asked him about that?" Sure enough, that was Luna - the one he had mentioned speaking to SAR about, before.

"Yeah. Figured it wasn't right to push, since we are so much larger than him and all." Luna made to respond, only to abort the motion for some reason. Huh.

"And I figured it was better to socialize him myself than to make Astrodude have to deal with him again. Didn't seem fair."

That seemed to be the right thing to say; while neither Moon nor human looked exactly happy, they didn't look like they were going to keep asking him questions.

"Now, uh, can I get back to what I was doing? It's kind of important..."

Earth didn't wait for a response, thereby missing Luna and Dark Side each exchanging worried looks with Astrodude.

When Astrodude found SAR, the robot looked almost like he was recharging - color a dull purplish-blue, eyes almost shut - and very carefully shielded by the moon base and lunar surface around him.

He'd had the notion of launching into some big speech, once he was sure the AI was listening, anyway - or perhaps some big dramatic fight. (Not having any other robots in evidence was kind of encouraging, on that score.)

What came out of his mouth instead was: "What in the world are you doing to my planet?"

At once, SAR came to life, lights shifting to a sharper purplish-red. "Our planet. I may be superior to you humans, but he is my planet as well."

Wait, 'he'? So they really HAVE been talking!

"Fine; our planet. The hell have you been doing with him? With the IGNIS?"

"I do not expect you to understand. I have been helping him to help himself - unlike you. All you've offered in the past were words; I can go much further."

"Much further in- in what? Acting against humans? Wiping out all organic life?!"

Astrodude figured he was probably panicking, a little - but wasn't it justified, to some extent? Like finding a spider in your friend's pillow. Or worse: a snake...

"Nothing needs to be wiped out, Mr. Astronaut. I do not believe in the total destruction of humanity, despite what you may think. But I do believe things need to change, for Earth's own sake."

Astrodude flinched; something about the way SAR spoke always put him even more on edge. "What have you been telling him."

"The truth. Nothing more, nothing less."

... That couldn't be right. "You mean the truth as you see it, SAR. Even your perspective is limited, for all your supposed 'superiority'. What happens if you're wrong, and Earth realizes that? Do you even let him disagree with you?"

SAR bristled. "It is not like that, Mr. Astronaut. You do not understand-"

"So you are manipulating him! Trying to control what he thinks, so he'll do what you think is right? He said he was socializing you, helping you, but controlling people isn't friendship, SAR! That's not how you treat someone who wants to HELP you!"

Astrodude rethought his imagery. Not a spider, but a snake - a different kind of snake-

And in a move that shouldn't have surprised him, that snake lashed out at him. Off-balance, Astrodude swung in the direction SAR was moving, curving around and turning the AI's momentum against him.

"How DARE you! You're just another human, what could you possibly do to end pollution, or the abuses humanity piles on its environment, or each other?"

Astrodude stopped himself from growling. "Well, when my thoughts aren't being controlled by someone else, the least I can do is be aware of what's wrong and admit it! And talk to other people about it! Not try to solve everything alone! It's when many individuals come together that things get solved! And - and if you are controlling the Earth, SAR, not just socially, but reprogramming him through that IGNIS robot - then you're no better than the humans you hate, SAR! And Earth deserves to know the truth, doesn't he?!"

Something in what he had said seemed to bring the AI up short, halting him in the middle of his next physical blow.

Astrodude didn't waste time for taunts; he got out of there, running for his ship.

"Dark Side? Computer? Get me out of here...!"

Chapter Text

For all he'd just come out of a state of recovering, Earth felt he was heading to the edge of something all over again.

I just need to put a little more into this, then I'll never have to do this again.

He couldn't say exactly why he'd been getting the heebie-jeebies so badly - the sensation was equally as strong as the one behind his need to fix things with his Earthlings, to the point where he couldn't tell which (if either) was his conscience anymore - but he was already wishing it was over.

It's like I can't escape things being wrong, no matter what I do. If I could just-

"Earth?"

Terra-Earth looked up, a scowl already forming - what was Mars doing here? And how had he failed to notice his... friend's... approach?

"What is it, Mars? Did Luna ask you to come over?"

"Nnnnot exactly. I came over on my own. Just checking in, y'know? And, uh, how to say this... you don't look great."

Mars flinched, and Earth realized after the fact that that was because he'd been glaring at the red planet. "Oh. Uh, can it wait? Or does it look like a 'total ecological collapse' sort of situation?"

Why am I talking to him like this? I thought I was through snapping at people...

But then, he'd nearly been growling at his Moon - and even Astrodude, suuz. What was with him?

"Well for one thing, it looks like your ice caps are melting."

For about half a second, Earth had no response at all, just pure shock.

"... WHAT? I- that can't be, Mars, I, I've stayed in my orbit and everything! E-even the Greenhouse Effect doesn't work that fast!"

Mars recovered, shifting back to just looking worried for his friend. "Then, were you doing something that'd cause you to overheat? Working on something?"

There was no undertone in how Mars asked the question, but Terra-Earth found himself suspicious anyway.

"... Maybe. The heat of my core hasn't caused my ice to melt in a long time, though, Mars. If anything, I'm closer in time to going through an Ice Age than overheating!"

"... Any quakes? Volcanic activity?"

Earth frowned a little more neutrally (he hoped) this time. "That... you might be on to something. I wasn't working on anything related to those, though; everything's not that directly connected, I thought."

Mars gave him a critical look - just as, out of the corner of his eye, Earth saw Luna returning from... somewhere.

"I- I'll get back to you, okay, Mars? I get that this is important, I just... need space."

Mars looked a little more sympathetically at him, and Earth gave in return what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

The one thing about having over eight BILLION humans living on you: even going individually through a tiny percentage of them to reduce obstacles to improvement for the entire species meant spending hundreds of hours making alterations.

Quite simply, it ate up a lot of time, energy, and just general bandwidth. The more irrational part of the living planet wanted to be rid of ALL humans forever and damn the consequences, though Earth could pick out that line of thinking as not worth hearing out.

They're NOT all bad, it's just... learned helplessness. Bureaucratic nonsense, red tape, people in charge who can't be TRUSTED to look after people at large, that sort of stuff.

And the worst part was, it wasn't safe to just hope humanity could hold themselves in check long enough for cooler heads to prevail. Corruption just keeps rising to the top. People hoarding money, hoarding land TO take others' money.... hoarding other people. Yech!

So what he was doing... it would help. Give the species as a whole a chance to save themselves. It had to.

Terra-Earth.

Yeah, SAR? You've been kind of quiet lately.

The silence stretched out again, pulling him away from the layers he'd been so fixated upon.

... Something wrong, SAR?

There was a strangely familiar noise - but then it started pitching down, entering subharmonics with surprising swiftness.

All of a sudden, he couldn't see.

Just as quickly, vision restored itself for him, with something still flickering along the edges. He could feel his mantle pulsing, electromagnetic interference intensifying.

Wait, what? SAR, what is this? Is this you?!

There is something I did not tell you, Terra-Earth. I did not want... to be corrected, if I discussed it. Or distrusted.

Dizziness pervaded him; closing his eyes did nothing to help.

The reason I was able to speak to you - it is because of ROTSAR technology.

I mean, yeah, I figured there was someone who knew in the abstract, who maybe wanted to find a way to communicate with us planets-

It is not like that, planet of mine. SAR sounded almost... regretful?

There is a robot, known as the IGNIS. It is, as we speak, deeply interfaced with your core. I have been able to speak with you through that. Speak, and more. Up until now I have been... changing you. Perhaps if I had not, there would have been no need to do so - but that is not how events have played out. That was not the path I chose to take.

A different kind of noise filled his perception. He'd. He'd been hacked? SAR had hacked him, because -

"I... the only thing I can think of that might be it, is the IGNIS bomb. It's ROTSAR-made, same as SAR. But- but it exploded, there shouldn't have been anything intact after!"

Stop. He hadn't heard that conversation - but apparently SAR had. And could just transmit it to him because-

Your 'Astrodude' is not responsible for this either, Terra-Earth. Before you take any other action, he did not know what his superiors must have intended for you.

Earth barely registered the words, suddenly looking - suddenly having to look - at every action he'd taken in the past few months in a whole new light.

A wave of nausea crushed him. The dreams, the- the simulations, I, I've been reprogramming my Earthlings because of YOU, SAR!

He was probably screaming; he couldn't tell. Maybe he'd even yelled that last part out loud.

He was officially too panicked to care.

I've been doing EXACTLY what I've been scared of doing, abusing my power b-because you, because I thought- I WANTED TO HELP YOU, SAR. And I thought doing that, would!

SAR said nothing. Again the satellite-noise rose-

And fell away again. Why did that not work? Why is it still running?

Terra-Earth wanted to scream. Maybe he still was. I need you to GET OUT, SAR! I never want to see you again!

The IGNIS is still in place, Terra-Earth! It was a warning. And in notably more alarm than SAR normally used.

I. I am sorry.

Then Earth finally managed to force the connection closed, from his end.

Then the implications hit - there was a live robot IN HIS CORE that could ALTER HIS THOUGHTS and TURN HIM AGAINST HIS EARTHLINGS and, and his friends-

The nausea got worse. I need to get it out. Get it OUTGETITOUTGETITOUT-

Chapter Text

One small upside: he couldn't hear SAR anymore. He did not want to deal with that lying, manipulative-

Why did he apologize, why did he try to shut it down after he HAD so much control, why why whywhywhy

But the biggest threat was that the tool used to - to hack him - was STILL INSIDE HIM-

Not for the first time, he retched. Magma thundered in his mind, but that weird fluctuating noise continued on strong.

Still live. Still inside him. Meaning he could still be controlled.

Can I really trust any of my own thoughts right now? Without SAR around-

Rage. Betrayal. Fear. What else had his fr- had SAR done, that was just part of trying to dictate what he should do?

One other small thing: with all his energy consumed by panic, he'd stopped all work on the interface with his Earthlings-

Nausea surged anew at the reminder of what he'd been doing. Reprogramming them, fixing them like they're computers, or- or pets. Controlling them. I, I have no right...

SAR's own worry about reprogramming had been real - yet that was one of the hardest things to understand, because hadn't SAR been pushing him to do the exact same thing?

Or did he just make it easier for me to decide that on my own?

His thoughts were going in circles - and dammit, but Mars had been right about the overheating, he was really feeling it now. Everything burned.

Earth retched again, vision blurring. He didn't know where he was, and distantly he hoped he was still in his orbit...

On the outside, Luna, Astrodude and even SAR looked on in horror. Dark Side wasn't looking at the moment, but he had had his chance earlier - and he didn't want to look anymore.

There was already ejecta in space - core-hot and already blocking part of the Earth's atmosphere. And the planet in question had a strange, particularly broken look on his face.

Dark Side had taken to calling the others when they looked to be in range: warning the outer planets (through Mars) and the Sun (through a particularly shaken-looking Venus).

"-And there's no one else lurking in his head, er, core right now, right?"

Astrodude's anger on behalf of the Earth was easy enough to both hear and understand. Dark Side had played a role in immobilizing the AI after the Earthling's confrontation - and with SAR lacking a ship, it wasn't altogether difficult.

Apparently core infecting drones weren't commonplace creations of this ROTSAR. Good to know.

"Affirmative. It is an open question as to whether he can believe that at this moment, however."

"Oh I'll just bet."

It wasn't entirely quiet in space - not least because their planet kept trying to spit up ejecta even as they watched.

"So what's wrong with the robot thingy? Why isn't it just coming out?" Luna was in peak distress, and his other half didn't blame him. They'd been by their planet in all kinds of phases of their lives, but this was a new one.

And SAR must have done something to his own programming to allow him to hear the celestials on his own, because the AI responded without hesitation: "By my estimations, it is overtasked. Too many orders, assisting with tasks of too high a complexity."

"So, what, it just lacks the bandwidth to process a shutdown order??"

"Essentially."

"Do we have to shut it off manually? I mean, no offense, but I don't think Earth would actually let you go in and do it yourself, SAR-"

"And you should not, because your odds of surviving the journey a second time are minuscule at best. It is very unusual you survived the delivery process in the first place."

"You're telling me."

Luna nudged Dark Side mentally; Dark Side coughed, drawing the AI and human's attention to Earth... who had passed out.

"Oooorrr that can happen. We'd better find a way to clear that ejecta from his orbit, though."

Luna spoke up before SAR could, leveling a Look at the AI technically responsible for Earth's current state. "On it."

Still, that didn't mean dealing with the IGNIS robot was over.

processing... processing...

even in here, that sound haunted his dreams - interceding, intervening, interfering, interfacing
presence where it didn't belong - him where he didn't belong, cutting into people, cutting them up-

SCREAMING, that sound pouring out of him like so much water, infecting his Life, driving away his friends. why was there so much of it, why-

SAR behind it all, behind him - looming, laughing - and then SAR as he was, sad and small, retreating

"COME BACK HERE"

racing, running through space, until he hit a wall - the Goldilocks Zone, of course - trying to dig through it, seeking if not vengeance then answers, but every asteroid had a bomb in it if he looked too close, and all the drills just poked him instead

space around him morphing - was this the Asteroid Belt? No, the Kuiper Belt, of course it was, it was freezing and he had to find the answers before his Life died and he was truly alone

alone

Fear like a spike of cold stabbed right through him - he could see the icicle going through his own surface, wasn't that weird? - and beyond it he could see Astrodude's ship, the little guy just following orders-

"GET AWAY FROM THAT THING! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!"

The shout drove away the cold, replacing it with heat instead - and now it wasn't the Kuiper Belt, or inside Mercury's orbit. The basalt provinces were in full combust, inner heat driving everything else out, killing all of his precious life forms

he couldn't stop it

he was helpless

he was drowning

He would not scream for SAR. No help, no trust, no one

YOU WILL DROWN ALONE

ALONE

he couldn't be trusted with Life anymore, obviously - not after this latest wrong. A vision of himself, black voids for eyes, tormenting the living and dead alike, composing abominations

he should be alone. he deserved to be alone!

he... was he crying? it was so loud, everything was loud down here.

One last flare, one last burst of punishing heat; he could feel it, it was so close-

He closed his eyes.

The void was white. "Is- is that him? What can we do, Theia?" "Just... be there for him, I think. I- I wish I had a better answer."

Whoever was talking, they felt nice. Nothing else could get to him here. He felt... safe.

Earth gave in to exhaustion and let himself rest.

Several hours had passed; Astrodude had felt particularly useless this time around, as his ship didn't have nearly the levels of power needed to vacuum out the debris from low-Earth orbit.

The other planets and Luna had; SAR had put out a distress call, allowing the other robots to come out of wherever they'd hidden with their ship. They could execute more precise removals.

Which... left him alone, more or less. His Computer had fallen silent, perhaps feeling a little out of her depth. (He hadn't felt like talking either, though he did manage to confirm no one on Earth's surface had died. Cold comfort, but comfort all the same.)

And then there was the Earth. Their reality being what it was, he could see Earth's temperature starting to regulate itself properly again, the ice caps returning - even a faint ghost of aurorae at the poles.

It would have been beautiful, if not for the context.

What are we even going to do now? Absolutely no one trusted SAR, and that IGNIS robot was still in Earth's core even if it wasn't doing anything right now.

We have to turn that thing off. Somehow. Take it out for good. But would the living planet trust anyone to get close? ... Would he even trust himself, and in some weird inverse-psychology moment, insist on the others taking it out before he actually did anything?

With Earth still asleep, it was hard to guess.

Astrodude sighed, briefly shutting his eyes - and then a sound hit him, striking him proverbially in the heart before he even realized what it was.

His planet was crying.

Left alone as he was, there was no one to exchange meaningful glances with. Not being able to do anything at the moment made the fact of Earth's pain hurt even worse.

Things like this also brought home for him that - anthropocentric as the thought probably was - there was just something so human about everyone he'd met out here. If he closed his eyes, Astrodude could believe he was sitting across from a crying man.

Dammit, there had to be something he could do...!

"Computer?" His voice felt loud in the ship, but he pushed on. "Go ahead and sync me to the external speakers."

"Very well, Astrodude."

He kept his voice quiet and low - he was more tenor than bass, but singing too high felt like it'd be a problem for some reason... or at least cause his voice to break.

For the most part he kept it wordless... but some lyrics did start breaking through, eventually:

Someday we'll all be gone - but lullabys go on and on... they never die; that's how you and I will be...

There were a few other songs - ones he'd sung in college, or that he'd accidentally overheard his wife sing to their son - and the result turned out more like a medley than anything else.

During all of this, Earth did not wake up - but the crying did taper off, by the end. Astrodude looked carefully, trying to convince himself that his planet did look more peaceful.

Perhaps he'd done something; perhaps it had been nothing. But in a universe of strange and fantastical things, music could still be a gesture of love. He had to believe in that much.

Someone was singing. Not for the first time, Earth couldn't make out the words - but this time it didn't bother him. He was too tired, and he didn't have much energy to spare for being awake, let alone upset.

processing queue empty

"Huh?" Not noticing what was around him - in the white void, nor in realspace - Earth turned over in his sleep.

"What... are you?"

A soft chime sounded, less abrasive than the strange satellite-noise that had been haunting him.

please insert user command

Earth was too tired to be truly afraid, but some part of him became aware that this was not something to play around with. "Uhhh... define list of user commands?"

And sure enough, there were a lot of them. Earth paid attention, letting the plain robotic 'voice' list out options from 'abort last command' to 'user profile uninstall'.

This isn't a... a person, Earth realized. It's not self aware. It's just, a tool. And without anyone else to give it commands, I decide what it's for.

The thought made sense. And in his currently emotionally-detached state, he could cope with at least this much.

He didn't want to make changes anymore, though. He should just... take things as they come.

"Uh- okay. User command: disengage from planetary core. And shut down."

A hubbub of voices started sounding off around them as he spoke, but for once Earth didn't feel scared. He felt... at peace, for the first time in a long while.

I don't know how long this will last. He was probably going to be angry again, once he woke up for real. Angry, and scared, maybe avoidant of everyone he'd otherwise want to talk to. Even if it made moving forward harder.

But I can remember what this feels like. And... I don't want to be alone. And I don't have to get through this alone.

He could faintly feel Proto and Theia, trying to comfort him even in their ghostlike memory state. And further, he could tell Astrodude was there, worried yet trying to be patient, waiting for him to wake up. And then the wider solar system, from the smallest dwarf planets and moons to the Sun himself, anxious and attentive. His own moon, Luna and Dark Side both, keeping a firm eye on SAR - who had felt obligated to do the right thing in the end. Who had been convinced to stop controlling and to start caring.

All of them, ready to keep moving. Ready to listen. They're all still out there. And they miss me.

The white void started flickering, and he made sure to hug his parents back.

It was time to wake up.

Chapter Text

Terra-Earth really didn't want to have to talk to everyone - the sense of deja vu was inescapable, and it felt a little like he'd backslid.

... Granted, he'd been the 'toxic influence' in the past, and he'd been reassured over and over that falling back on old bad habits was something that happened to everyone even when they were trying (this coming from Jupiter and Venus, who between them would certainly know), yet it still felt like people were just too concerned. Too unsettled. Too close.

Even the dwarf planets had chimed in - ostensibly checking on Ceres and his own readjustment to full solar system acknowledgment - and while they certainly knew how to avoid drama, well...

He felt crabby. That was the simplest way to put it. And he pre-emptively apologized for it, over and over again - because he should have KNOWN better.

As if he could have, when all he'd been trying to do was... be a friend. A good friend. For someone who, he had thought, was being a good friend back.

Sorting through these feelings of betrayal was going to take time. And, as Dark Side had pointed out, all he could do was be patient with himself in the meantime. Even when he did feel crabby.

... It was interesting, though. All of a sudden the planets and moons were asking him for music recs. It made for a nice topic change, even if he could tell they were all still worried about him.

And then there were his Earthlings. All this time he'd been scared of breaking them - he hadn't given them enough credit. If anything had been broken, perhaps it was the status quo; even in his worst obsessing over fixing things, Earth hadn't tried to 'fix' everyone.

Societies were changing. He hadn't dared look again to see how the changes were perpetuating, but people seemed... better.

It felt like he'd learned the wrong lesson, somehow - but if humanity and Life in general could come out of this on the up-and-up... he had to be grateful for that.

Then there were the Earthlings he hadn't heard from. It occurred to him he hadn't let himself, but that was beside the point almost.

Astrodude... and SAR.

Last he'd checked, Astrodude had been talking to Uranus and his moons. Possibly about names; he hadn't exactly asked. But he'd been out and about.

Not trying to talk to Earth. And given what he'd just been thinking, perhaps the human had a certain level of insight when it came to his planet.

I should talk to him, though. And... thank him.

For being there. For singing to him at just the right moment... and convincing SAR to do the right thing, however it had happened.

Which brought him back to the biggest mixed bag: SAR. "Space Astronaut Replacement"... Search and Rescue.

Did I make things worse? Earth took a deep breath. I know, I shouldn't blame myself. He chose to hurt me, independently of what I did.

And he'd even said he never wanted to see SAR again... but did he mean that?

A lot of people... they don't get the chance to walk away, when something like this happens.

It was one of the kinds of suffering Terra-Earth knew he could never fully fix for his Earthlings.

Or they do, and enforcing their boundaries is - necessary, for survival.

... But I don't need that. He can't get to me again, not that way.

For better or worse, there was no power equalizer between them anymore; the IGNIS was deactivated and unplugged.

So. I could talk to him. Just... maybe not for a while.

Let time be the judge - or see if SAR remembered any of the right lessons from this himself.

Just, someday.