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Bag of Bones

Summary:

Old habits die hard, even for people like Azul.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The pearlescent blues of the ocean shimmering into the Mostro Lounge illuminated the otherwise dimly lit environment. It was after working hours, and there were no remaining customers or staff in sight.

You and Azul sat together on a booth, the low hum of a jazz song playing nearby. You brought your fork to your lips, taking another bite of cake that Azul had made the kitchen prepare especially for you.

His distant gaze drifted between you and the cake, and you could sense he was restraining himself from saying something.

“Do you want some?” You offered, sliding the plate closer to him.

He cleared this throat, still playing his dignified, gentlemanly persona even in this moment shared exclusively by the two of you.

“I’d have to object, my pearl. I would rather see you enjoy it than myself,” he spoke in a smooth manner.

A pout graced your face as you put the fork in front of him. “Azul, eat it. I can tell you want it.”

His politely declined your offer once more, but you could see the cracks in his facade showing.

“Just have some! You deserve something sweet after such a stressful day!” you pressed once more. Finally, his reserve broke.

“I can’t have it,” he enunciated sternly. “I’ll…” he continued in a small voice, mumbling something incoherent.

Once he looked at your face and saw your concern, Azul’s heart sunk. Sevens, he loved you, but he didn’t have it in him to show you his true self. The side that he deemed weak and powerless- something you didn’t deserve to see. You deserved to see him as someone you could depend on, not as someone who was haunted by the feeling of insecurity he tried to bottle away.

“I’ve eaten enough calories for today. Have it, I insist.”

The anxiousness bubbling inside of Azul drowned out the idle background sounds, making his quickened heart rate suffocatingly loud. You were going to mock him like all the others did, wouldn’t you? He knew he was being too careless getting so close to you. Letting you break down his boundaries without being constricted by the harsh conditions and regulations of a contract. He let himself not be the one in control, and now it was going to bite him and-

“—Azul?”

Your voice cut through his internal spiral of self loathing. His gaze peered up at your face, expecting to have you judge him for his moment of weakness. When he saw the opposite, he felt… seen.

“Azul, you don’t need to let that control you. As long as you’re healthy and happy, you have no reason to scrutinize what you eat in such harsh and damaging ways. I want you to enjoy your life and not limit that joy by how many numbers you stack up per day.”

Azul could feel his lip tremble as the reality of your words settled into his reserve. The way he treated food had become a habit at this point- eating enough so be wouldn’t revert back into that pathetic, feeble, and (what he deemed) unnecessarily plump octopi he once was.

Despite his worries, your words still struck a cord deep within him. You treated him tenderly in an unexpected moment of vulnerability, which was something he had not grown to expect.

“…Thank you, my pearl. I’ll try to be better. I promise.”

Your tender stare lingered on his face as silence washed over the two of you. You tentatively scooted closer to him to the point where your thighs were about to touch.

When Azul felt your arm begin to wrap around him, he swore he could feel himself melt. As much as he hated to admit it,— hated to not follow the persona he made for himself— he craved the comfort you offered him. The way you grounded him from his overflowing woes like an anchor in crashing waves.

He rested his head on the nape of your neck, his own arms coming to wrap around you. His uneven breath ghosted on your neck as he tried to hold back his tears.

These sparse moments where he allowed his walls to come down for you, his beloved, would act as a reminder for him that he wasn’t and would never be the same person before that he hated. Not when he had you.

Notes:

i really hope that i right azul well because hes one of my favorite characters ever.. i hope you guys enjoyed :)