Chapter Text
Zoey
The Smosh Office
I slide my phone from my pocket and check my text messages, it's Zach-my brother.
Best Brother Ever: Heyyyy I wanted to let you know Sammy just got a message from Emma....
Best Brother Ever: Her plus 1 is Jared.... I wanted to give you a heads up. She never mentioned it on her RSVP, dumbass😐
Best Brother Ever: also, did you find a plus 1? You only put you on the RSVP. No pressure Love you❤
Fucking hell.... Of all fucking people HE has to be there. Without thinking I reply.
Youngest Spawn: of fucking course she'd bring HIM! 😡 and yeah, I have a date, I'm bringing my boyfriend
I just lied, so hard. I don't have a boyfriend, haven't had one since Jared. Oh boy, how do I pull this together?
Best Brother Ever: so excited to meet him! Cant wait to see you next weekend ☺
Youngest Spawn: yeah! Been on the low for a bit, but he's ready to meet you guys! See you soon! ☺
Back story-Zach is getting married to Samantha, Sammy for short. They've known each other since ELEMENTARY school, best friends for life!
She's an amazing woman and I couldn't think of anyone else who would treat Zach and our family so well. She's a teacher and Zach is a nurse, they are perfect together.
I sigh loudly at my desk in the office. I slam my phone down and put my head in my hands. My dark berry colored hair covers my hands and face.
"Zoey? What's wrong babes?" Angela appears behind me and rubs circles on my back. She's my best friend, besties from day one.
"Here." I hand her my phone and she opens it to read the texts. I can practically hear her roll her eyes.
"That ugly toad is bringing HIM!?" Ang says fussing and raising her voice.
"Yeah, I know. Plus I lied straight through my teeth. You KNOW I don't have a boyfriend, plus I asked everyone I would take last month because I knew my family would be nosy. Everyone is busy already. What do I do?" I say with my whole body facing her now.
Without thinking, my foot begins to tap the floor.
Angela shifts her weight and gives me that thinking look. "Oh no, I don't like that face. Angela... What are you thinking about?" I question as I study her face.
"I have an idea. But you won't like it." She smiles at me with that evil look in her eyes.
"There's someone you can ask who probably isn't busy, Damien."
Damien Haas.
"Angela. I'd rather eat dirt than ask Damien fucking Haas to do any damn thing for me." I stare her down, she knows we don't get along.
"Ask me what?" A low voice butts in.
"Speak of the damn Devil." I mumble loud enough for him to hear me. Damien stands in the doorway with that devilish smile on his face. That smug look that makes me wanna punch him.
"Zoey needs a date for her brothers wedding next weekend. She lied to Zach and said she has a boyfriend so she needs to find someone." Angela speaks quickly while giving her attention to Damien.
"Ugh! Angela!" I huff out at her, she frustrates me. "Oh please tell me more, I'm intrigued." Damien walks in and sits on the couch across from my desk.
Fuck off...
He fixes his legs to give me his attention. "I'm serious, Zoey, tell me more."
Angela’s grin only widens. "She said she'd rather eat dirt than ask you, actually." She backpedals, hard.
"Wow." Damien leans back on the couch, arms stretched across the top like he owns the place. "That's touching. Really warms a guy's heart."
I throw my pen at him. He catches it—of course—and sets it on my desk with a wink like he's doing me a favor.
"Don't flatter yourself, Haas. This isn't happening." I stand my ground to him. I won't let him push me on this.
"Oh, but it could." His smile deepens. "Think about it. I'd get a free dinner, a chance to meet your entire family, and watch you squirm all night. It's practically charity work."
This mother....
I glare at him so hard my eyeballs might combust. "You? At my brother's wedding? You'd make it about you in ten minutes."
He shrugs, smug as ever. "Probably five. But you wouldn't have to explain why your imaginary boyfriend was a no-show."
Damn it. He's got me there. I hate when he's right.
Angela looks between us, clearly entertained. "So, Zoey, what's worse? Eating dirt...or eating crow?"
I drop my face into my hands. I'm doomed. He's so condescending and an asshole.
Damien leans forward, elbows on his knees, that smug little grin spreading across his face like he just won something. He didn't win shit.
"Zoey, you're acting like this is torture. All you have to do is ask" Who does he think he is?
"I am not asking you." I turn away from him.
"Then I guess you don't need me." He stands like he’s about to leave, brushing invisible lint off his shirt, as I glance at him. "Shame, though. I clean up really well in a suit. Your family would eat it up, plus the moms always love me."
My jaw tightens, I'm trying so hard to ignore him. Angela is behind him mouthing 'do it, do it' like this is some kind of bad rom-com and she's the audience. I turn back to him after rolling my eyes at her.
"Damien," I start, I hate how desperate I sound. He raises a brow, waiting. "Yes?"
"Will-"Ugh, this is actual hell. Why am I doing this? "Will you...come with me?" I wince at even asking him.
His smile grows wicked. "Hmm. That sounded vague. I want to hear it properly."
I swear if murder weren't a crime..."Fine. Damien Haas..."I cross my arms so tight my knuckles pop. "Please. Be. My. Date."
He clutches his chest like I just declared undying love. "Wow. Begging suits you, Zoey. I'll call you." He winks again, like he enjoys watching me suffer. Masochistic fucker.
Angela cackles. I throw another pen at him. He won...asshole.