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What the majority of people knew about Mickey Milkovich was that he held the title of captain of the baseball University Team, that he liked to swear and he didn't really give a fuck about studying.
Only a selected group was actually aware that Mickey was secretly a book nerd, he was gay and he made videos where he put together his two hidden passions: classic literature and dick.
Mickey was in the closet and at least until he was playing in a sports team, he intended to keep it that way. He didn't want to make things awkward with his mates even if sometimes he was tempted to send a hint to the number 6, a redhead called Ian Gallagher, who Mickey suspected was gay as well. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking, because Gallagher was hot and funny, ripped but also such a dork Mickey couldn't help himself and had developed a bit of a crush on the guy.
Mickey’s eyes lingered on Ian's crotch while they were changing in the locker room. He had to detach his gaze and jump in the shower straight away, turning the water cold to suppress all that blood boiling down his lower body. Of course the little shit had to follow him, standing under the nearby shower. Mickey was giving him the back, but he could feel Ian's gaze on him.
“Staring at my ass, Firecrotch? Ain't dropping no soap,” he snarked.
Ian chuckled. “Been staring at my firecrotch, Mick?”
Before Mickey could reply that no, of course he hadn't, nope nope nope, another player chimed in.
“Hard not to notice, you're like, all red, man!” Darryl commented, laughing. Mickey decided to join in. He so wasn't staring at Ian's crotch ‘cause it was massive and Mickey’s favorite image in his mental spunk bank.
So he just laugh and then he dressed and got out of the locker room, trying not to think how gone he was for Ian Gallagher.
***
What he instead thought about was how to make his new video as funny but also intellectual as his other previous videos.
This time he wasn't going to talk about how great Forster’s Maurice was or how Salinger’s Holden was in truth a repressed gay man. This time it was all about ancient Greek and how Mickey was upset over the Hollywood interpretation of Achilles and Patroclus relationship. They weren't cousins, they were fucking lovers. Mickey was preparing a nice little video and he was in the middle of editing it, when he heard a knock on the door. He took off his glasses and went to see who was it.
Yet, when he opened the door, he found no person but a box placed on the Hellcome mat.
It was the third one in three weeks.
He crouched down to read the small paper sticking from it, the usual one.
For Terry,
Your admirer.
There was something wrong about being addressed with his father's name, but it was his fault to begin with since his YouTube profile was called ‘Terry reads homoerotic lit’. At the time he'd thought it was an awesome idea, irony for his father's homophobic tendencies. Now it was a pseud he was stuck with.
But that wasn't really the problem right now. The issue there was the box. Mickey grabbed it and brought it inside. With no grace whatsoever he teared it open, revealing a velvet satchel. He rolled his eyes and opened that too. His mouth shaped as an O when he discovered the content. It was an old looking book and Mickey mentally slapped himself for having handled the satchel without a bit more of attention.
It was a Maurice’s bound edition. Mickey just couldn't believe it. He read the dedication on the blank page.
I wish I were your Alec.
The protagonist Maurice’s young lover, Alec Scudder.
Fuck, that was no gift from a fan. It was a love's confession. A quite expensive one, to add…
No, wait. The real question was: how the hell did his fan even knew his address? Mickey never appeared in the videos and his voice was modified. This man, Mickey took an educated guess, had already sent three presents at his door. He had bought Mickey a rainbow colored shirt with the Baratheon crest on it after he had released his video about Game of Thrones and their most known gay couple Renly&Loras. Of course Mickey wasn't fucking wearing that. The first gift had been a bracelet instead. A leather one, virile enough for Mickey’s taste, even though had never worn it before.
All three gifts were signed the same way. Your admirer . Same handwriting.
The whole situation was creepy as hell. A bracelet, a fucking rainbow shirt and a bound book. Next one an engagement ring? Brrr, Mickey was shivering just thinking about it. He had decided to ignore the first two gifts, but now with this last one…
He couldn't just keep pretending nobody knew he was ‘Terry reads homoerotic lit’. His identity was in peril. He had to do something.
***
That something turned into complaining to his little sister. But two minds are better than just one, right?
“What the fuck should I do? I mean, he must be a stalker or some shit, right?”
Mickey sighed, after he had explained everything to Mandy. They were sitting on the grass, just basking a little under the sun. Or at least she was, her brother was too worried to care about fucking sunrays.
Mandy shrugged. She'd been quiet the whole time, letting Mickey vent out, and now it was her turn to speak. “Okay, let's try not to make it more complicated than it actually is.”
“A guy, my admirer , knows who I am and sends me gifts at my fucking door and I shouldn't be worried?” Mickey snapped.
“Maybe your fan is some nerd who hacked your IP address and is in love with you but he's too shy… Or!”
She stopped for a theatrical pause. Mickey was having none of that. “Or what, skank.”
“Or,” she began again, giving the nasty eye to her brother. “It's Ian Gallagher.”
Mickey coughed, completely dumbfounded by Mandy’s ridiculous idea. What the fuck had Ian to do with the current situation?
Mandy patted him on the back. “I'm serious, Mick. Now I need to confess something and you can't get mad at me,” she said.
Mickey glared at her. No good ever came out after that sentence. “Yeah, first tell me, then I'll decide if I should get mad.”
The girl rolled her eyes, but she spilled the beans anyway. “Fine. I might have told Ian about your videos…”
“What!” Mickey shouted.
“Don't kill me!” She raised her hands in surrender. “It was a mistake, really. He's my best friend, you know that! We were having fun, I got wasted… I kinda showed him your YouTube page and we had such fun, you really know how to be funny when you want to-”
“Fuck you, Mands!” Praises didn't work with him. He was mad. “Why! It's not just the videos, you fucking outed me!”
“Oh, for fuck sake, Mick! Ian likes dick too!”
That shut Mickey up from ranting against his sister.
“What?”
Mandy looked at him like he was the dumbest man alive. “Don't tell me you didn't know.”
Mickey shrugged. Inside he was actually a turmoil of emotion. Ian was gay? The guy he'd been pining for for a year was like him? Merry early Christmas to Mickey! “I-I kinda suspected it, but it's not like I could ask him…”
“Well, now he knows.” Mandy grinned. She knew she was safe from Mickey’s anger now. “And I told him like three weeks ago so-"
“So it could be him. Fuck,” Mickey concluded. The admirer who sent those three gifts. It could be the hot redhead. And if he was…
“He's so in love with you,” Mandy nodded. “I don't know what he sees in you- Ouch! Fuck you asshole!- but he is and you should totally come out. I mean, telling him you know that he knows and the like,” she said, massaging her left boob, where Mickey had pinched her nipple.
Ian was gay. Ian was… in love with him? Something in the depth of Mickey’s mind was telling him it was too good to be truth, because he'd already been lucky enough to get a sports scholarships, so also having the guy he liked liking him back seemed impossible.
And yet.
Ian would look at him from time to time, and now Mickey knew he was gay. Ian was also a Lit. Major, so he probably even appreciated Mickey’s book reviews. Fuck, could it be..?
“You're daydreaming, aren't you?” Mandy asked, snatching him away from his hopeful thoughts. Mickey flipped her off.
“What should I do then?” he asked, surprisingly enough.
“OMG!” she exclaimed theatrically. “My big gay brother is actually asking me for love advice?”
“Whatever, I don't need it…” Mickey avoided her eyes. Damn, he was embarrassed now. Yeah, he fucking needed love advice, so what!
“It's okay, Mick. Listen, I think that all you need to do is making Ian reveal himself on his own. Next time he delivers present at your door, don't take it, leave a message on it instead. Tell him that you love his gifts-”
“Not true. The shirt is faggy as hell.”
“-And that you'd love to meet him. Face-to-face.”
Mickey sighed. He actually liked the idea, it was thrilling. At the same time he was aware he was a coward when it came to matters of heart; of everything related to his sexuality, really. “I don't know, Mands…”
“It is just a suggestion, do what you want,” Mandy said, getting up. But not before giving her brother a deserved titty-twister.
“But I think you and Ian would make a nice couple!” she yelled before running away.
Mickey was left alone, rubbing against his abused nipple. He had always been a coward, but what if once in his life he decided to step up his game a little?
***
Well, Mickey decided to test the waters first. He couldn't just bring himself to do as Mandy suggested. Not before trying to see if Ian was actually interested in him or not.
At the end of the next training session, the players were once again in the locker room. This time Mickey didn't try to conceal his gaze from Ian. Or at least he didn't try too much.
Watching the redhead getting undressed and stuffing his dirty sportswear in the duffel bag, Mickey noticed a book poking out from it.
It was The Catcher in the Rye and Mickey couldn't hold any certainty, the book was friggin famous, but he had actually made a video about it a couple months ago.
“You reading it for your course?” he asked almost distractely, nodding towards the book. Ian, who was left with only his boxer briefs on (sweaty and so so tight that Mickey had started talking also to distract his dick from turning into a boner), shook his head.
“This? No. I mean I’ve read it like a bunch of times already. But, uh, I watched this video and it highlighted so many things I never noticed before or that I just suspected,” Ian answered, looking a bit sheepish.
“Oh yeah?” Mickey just couldn't help it. He let his eyes trail down Ian's body and when the redhead took off his briefs he momentarily forgot what they were talking about.
Damn, there was a reason why he'd always try to look at the floor tiles instead of that huge cock dangling between Ian's legs.
“Yeah… maybe I could send you the link?” Ian suggested. With an effort, Mickey looked up to see green eyes again.
Mickey licked his bottom lip. Why talking about his stupid videos without actually saying that they both knew they were his felt so much like foreplay? Maybe the fact that Ian was naked and he was about to take off his boxers helped too.
“Sure…” Mickey almost whispered. Fuck, it wasn't like Ian had just suggested to bend him over and fuck him on the baseball field (yes, it was one of his fantasies).
Ian nodded and turned to go take a shower, but Mickey decided to take a breath or two before following him. And he decided to put two other players as a shield between Ian and himself. That didn't mean Mickey didn't steal a few glances at the redhead. He was pretty sure Ian did the same.
When they were back to put their clothes on, Mickey also wore the leather bracelet, waiting for a reaction from the redhead. He wasn't disappointed.
“Nice bracelet,” Ian observed. He even came close enough to brush it with his finger.
“Thanks man,” Mickey said, glancing at the redhead. Ian was grinning and in that moment Mickey knew his teammate was also his secret admirer.
Ian nodded. “It suits you.”
The shorter man smiled in return. He maybe couldn't bring himself to just reveal that he knew and yes, he'd like for them to go out, thank you very much, but now he felt more convinced than ever to put Mandy’s plan in motion.
***
And so he did.
Give me this gift yourself. I'll be waiting for you at the library, row 7F, tomorrow at 5pm.
Mickey left the note on the box that arrived the week after. As expected, the next time he opened the door, the note was gone and so was his present. The man felt a big fat smile tugging at the sides of his mouth. He decided to call Mandy to give her the good news; it had been her idea, afterall.
Now it was just a matter of time.
***
Library, row 7F, 5 p.m.
Mickey arrived just on time, to avoid appearing too eager (even if he was, fuck). Nobody was there but a couple making out. With a death glare he sent them to eat each other faces somewhere else. He feigned nonchalance and took a book from the shelf to read it. He didn't even notice that he was holding the book upside down.
If the ginger fuck made him wait more than five minutes Mickey was so going to own his ass.
Well, yeah, he'd quite love to own that ass. And the rest of the body too. Ian as a whole. Maybe he could wait for even a quarter hour. Or fucking forever.
Mickey had to wait for only two minutes instead, before he heard
“My Maurice…”
He turned around to greet Ian, only to find himself face-to-face with an incredibly skinny guy, holding his gift box.
The words left his mouth before they could even reach his brain
“Who the fuck are you?!”
***
Janet’s cafè, table 3, 5 p.m.
Mandy was sipping her cappuccino, when Ian arrived. He sat down, tossing a heavy geography book on the table.
“Ready to study?” he asked with a sigh. Geography was not his favourite course. He expected Mandy to copy his gesture, but she was instead looking at him like she was seeing a ghost.
“The fuck are you doing here?” she asked, a shocked expression on her face.
“Huh, study geography with you?” Ian frowned. “We had plans to meet, don't you remember?”
“Yeah, but we decided like a week ago, you should be with Mick right now!”
“And why's that?” Okay, Mandy was definitely confusing him. Ian thought back at the last time he'd seen Mickey and they hadn't made any plans together. Not that he wouldn't have liked that. He actually meant to tell Mandy that he had sensed some flirting on her brother’s part and was so fucking happy about it. Mickey had stared at his dick, licked his lips and even accepted a compliment without telling him to fuck off. Ian had already thought about sending him the links to Mickey’s video to the guy and come clean, just tell him he liked him so fucking much.
“Why!” Mandy exclaimed. She talked fast and conceited. “‘cause you left the gifts and he gave you the note and you were supposed to meet at the library and finally- Oh my fucking god, you're not his secret admirer!”
They stared at each other, their mouths agape.
“His admirer?” Ian asked whilst Mandy was chanting a mantra of fuckfuckfuck .
“Fuck, Ian!” Mandy cried out. “Mick told me about this guy who was leaving presents at his door and I thought it was you, so I told him and now he's meeting God knows who at the library!”
Ian wasn't understanding everything she was saying, too much information at once. What he was sure of, though, was that Mandy was worried and Mickey was meeting some stranger he thought was Ian himself. A rival.
“I need to go,” Ian said, standing up abruptly. “The library you said? Where?”
The girl looked at him. “I don't know! The place is huge, Ian!”
The redhead shook his head. “Then I'm gonna run. No way I'm letting someone else get the guy I've been crushing on for a year!”
Ian dashed out, leaving Mandy alone. She considered using her phone to call Mickey and tell him about the misunderstanding. Then she decided to leave it to them. She’d made enough mess already. Plus she liked drama anyway.
***
Ian had said he'd been crushing on Mickey for a year, but the truth was that he'd been mesmerized by the older man the minute he'd laid eyes on him. Mickey was grouchy but also capable of making Ian laugh like no one else. It also helped that he was fucking hot and his ass looked fucking edible in his tight baseball uniform. Ian had never made a move before because he hadn’t been sure of Mickey’s sexuality. After Mandy had showed him the videos that outed him Ian had decided to wait for the right moment to just confess. Last training session he'd thought they were making progress. Little had he known that Mickey had mistaken him for his secret admirer.
Who the fuck was he, anyway?
Whilst running, Ian was thinking up every possible scenario waiting for him in the library. The man could be a dangerous creep, for fuck sake; or maybe he was a prince charming and Mickey had already left the place with him; or maybe…
No, fuck. He needed to run faster.
Ian arrived at the library and there he earned himself several ‘shush!’ and a few ‘this is a library not a stadium!’. But frankly? He couldn't give a fuck. Sue him, he had to find Mickey.
And then he found him. Row 7F. Mickey was laughing and talking to a skinny guy. An open gift box was placed on one shelf.
Had he arrived too late?
Why was he laughing otherwise?
Mickey liked them skinny?
“Mickey!” Ian called anyway. He'd waited so long, he might as well tell Mickey the truth. Even if it was too late.
The black haired guy raised his eyes to meet Ian's, looking surprised.
“Gallagher…” he muttered and this time the skinny guy turned his head, before returning his attention to Mickey. The two had a brief word exchange and the guy sighed, nodding. He shook hands with Mickey and left.
Ian frowned, closing the distance from Mickey.
The redhead cleared his throat. “I'm sorry to disturb, but Mandy told me and I had to come here.”
Mickey nodded. “It figures. That skank talks too fucking much.”
Ian couldn't help but agree. “Yeah… I'm not the one bringing you gifts. You know I'm broke.” Ian scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. “But, uh, I'm your secret admirer too. In a way.”
Mickey raised his eyebrows. “You like my videos too?”
“No,” he said immediately. “I mean yes, I do. But it's not about the videos. I like you .”
Mickey remained silent and Ian continued. “I've got this big crush on you since the day I met you and I understand if now it's too late ‘cause of him, but I really need you to know.”
The shorter man bit his bottom lip before speaking. “‘Him' is called Henry, an hacker with a big heart for classic novels. He's a nice guy, considering his stalkerish attitude. But I told him I'm already interested in someone else.”
The glance Mickey gave him told Ian who was that someone loud and clear. But the redhead had to ask anyway. “And by someone else you mean…”
Mickey rolled his eyes. “Don't make me say it, asswipe.”
Ian smiled, because he simply couldn't help it. And why should he? “Even though he can buy you lots of gifts?”
“Yeah, I can survive without them. Even if this one is actually pretty convenient. And funny.” Mickey tossed Ian the unwrapped box. “Henry likes making customized gifts. Because of my videos, you know. Last one was about the Iliad and, you know, how much Achilles a homo.”
Ian opened the box, revealing another box inside, full of condoms. Trojans, of course.
“Greeks vs Trojans, man,” Mickey laughed. Ian joined in.
“Thinking about using them soon?” the redhead asked with a shit eating grin. Mickey responded by throwing him against the bookcases, pulling him in a deep kiss that Ian eagerly took over.
Fuck yes. They were so going to use the last gift.