Chapter Text
Late one night, June hears something outside her door. It is a couple hours after Nick brought her ice, following her interrogation by an Eye and Aunt Lydia. The sound is quick and someone is clearly trying to be quiet. Something has been slid under her door. After it is quiet again she gets out of her bed as delicately as possible and tip-toes towards her door.
There are two regular sized envelopes, blank but full. Inside one are small square pieces of paper and a pen. Inside the other is a note, scribbled in definite boy handwriting.
The small table on the back porch. When you stand at the front right side of it, you can feel a small ridge under the table top. I’ve left you something there. You can use these to respond if you want. When you leave something, push the plant on the table against the wall. When I leave something I’ll pull the plant away from the wall. Hide these well, I know you know that.
The next morning, June hides the pen and paper behind a loose piece of floor board in her closet. She finds the whole thing quite exciting. She knows it is from Nick and she feels pretty interested in any contact with him.
She puts on her cloak to go shopping, stopping ever so briefly at the small table by the door of the back porch. Sure enough she can feel a piece of paper that she slips into her pocket.
Her whole body is tingling with anticipation.
Over the next couple months or so, Nick and June exchange notes via the small table on the back porch.
I really do wish I just drove away with you.
I can’t stop thinking about being that close to you.
I’m also sorry, it was probably not ok.
It WAS ok, and the fact that you wonder
if it was makes it even more ok.
I can’t stop thinking about it either.
You smell good.
Thanks for writing back.
I think you’re beautiful.
You’re sweet.
And handsome.
I’m so worried about you.
I miss seeing you.
I pray you are ok.
I don’t usually pray, but I am now.
I know you aren’t even seeing these.
God I hope you are ok.
I feel so helpless.
I don’t know how to help.
June has been isolated in her room for a couple weeks now. Maybe a punishment for not being pregnant? Nick isn’t totally sure. He knows Rita is concerned too. He takes the notes that have been gathering under the table and a new one and tucks them under the bowl of soup.
I begged and she let me bring this tray up.
I was glad to see you for a second, even though you were sleeping.
We’re both trying to find a way to help.
I don’t know what happened in that doctor's office.
You are always safe with me.
What I wanted to say is that I wish I could make this better for you.
Or get you out of here.
I wish I could.
It was a relief to see you.
I appreciate it.
It’s good to know someone cares.
It really is.
See? You ARE making it better.
You are so strong. Amazing.
I think about you all the time.
Seeing you is the best part of my day.
I think you are brave.
And cute :)
Well, now I’m blushing.
I can’t believe someone like you even notices me.
I hope your day is good.
Notice you? Do you have a mirror in your apartment? :)
I’m worried my time here is almost up.
It’ll be officially my fault.
And who knows where I’ll get sent next.
Makes me nervous.
I don’t want that.
Now I’m worried too.
I’m so sorry.
For everything. I don’t ever want to hurt you.
I don’t want to be a part of anything that hurts you.
I am going to try and always be honest.
That was all on her, not us.
You were put in an impossible situation.
I think you handled yourself well. I know you would never hurt me.
I know you took a risk being honest. I’m glad you did.
You can trust that I am looking out for you too.
“Us.”
God. Thank you.
I thought you might hate me now.
We make a good us I think.
Your understanding means a lot to me.
We do make a good us.
Last night was… wow. I’m not good with words
You surprised me.
I loved every single thing about it
Hope to see you later.
There might not be words.
It was that amazing.
It felt like you’ve known me forever.
You made me feel so good.
You will see me later :)
You made me feel good too.
So so good.
I can’t stop thinking about it, about you, about being with you.
You're a terrible flirt.
But in the hallway upstairs?
Damn, sir.
Damn.
You’re all I think about.
All I want to do is kiss you like that again.
I apologize for being so freaked out.
I feel like I missed a real opportunity.
It’s so rare to have a choice,
I wonder if I’ve forgotten how to make one well.
I told some truth though - you make me happy.
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
You make me happy too, more than ever before, even before before if that makes sense.
I’m not going to let anything happen to you.
You are safe with me.
Door is always unlocked.
I feel safe with you, I really do.
I didn't know that was possible here.
See you later.
I’ve never had anything like this with anyone.
You are very special to me.
That sounds so cheesy, sorry.
No problem with cheesy here
You are special to me too.
You’ve created a space for me that I treasure.
Thank you.
The notes stop for a while as June goes over to see Nick at night regularly and they can talk openly there.
The night of the first Jezebels trip, June does not come over. The next morning she sees the plant moved and checks their spot before breakfast.
Last night was so awful.
You looked so beautiful, but it was awful.
I wish I could have done something.
I’m sorry.
I cannot believe you want to end this..
I thought this meant something to you.
Fuck you.
It’s not safe.
I wish it was.
You mean everything to me
I guess you aren’t talking to me now.
I got scared.
I don’t understand why you wanted to go back there.
Thank you for telling me about the baby.
You’re still pissed at me probably.
Where did she take you?
Where were you?
We drove forever and H was there
I couldn’t get out, it was torture. Truly.
I’m devastated.
I’m so sorry.
I had a meeting.
Working on something.
Trying to take care of my family.
You two are all that matter to me,
Please trust me.
I’ll try.
No. I do trust you.
We’re in this together now.
The three of us.
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