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You could still be saved by this feeling no one else knows

Summary:

He didn’t know how long he had been running. Long enough for his lungs to burn and his heartbeat to beat in his ears louder than the storm of thoughts whirling in his head.

Exiled.

Flufftober Day 8
Title from Lower One's Eyes by nulut/nuyuri

Notes:

check end notes for explanation on the trans shinonome akito

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The forest stretched endlessly around him—trees twisting unnaturally, leaves rustling above his head. The air was cold, heavy with the smell of rain. 

Every breath burned in his throat as he stumbled over roots and fallen branches, his boots sinking into the mud. His chest heaved with each uneven step.

He didn’t know how long he had been running. Long enough for his lungs to burn and his heartbeat to beat in his ears louder than the storm of thoughts whirling in his head.

Exiled.

The word throbbed in his skull.

Exiled—stripped of everything he had ever known. Banished by his own father. The accusation still lingered in his memory, sharp and final: You are not my son. 

The curse burned under his skin—dark veins tracing down his arms, fingertips tinged in shades of deep blue and violet that pulsed faintly in the dark. 

His reflection had betrayed him long before everyone else had. Horns, faint at first, had grown from his head. The court had called him “demon” 

His father had believed them.

Toya didn’t even know what the curse truly was. 

He stumbled over a root, caught himself against a trunk, panting. His hand trembled where it pressed into the bark. The fingertips—blackened, bruised-looking, unnatural. They left faint streaks against the wood. The curse was flaring again. His heartbeat quickened, a pressure building behind his eyes and deep in his chest.

He didn’t know if it was fear or anger that fueled it anymore.

Exiled. 

Cursed. 

Branded a demon.

His hands shook harder. A low, rough sound escaped his throat, halfway between a gasp and a growl. His horns—one full, one a fractured nub—ached as if they were stabbing into his skull. His vision flickered at the edges, black crawling up his veins.

He staggered deeper into the woods, desperate to put as much distance as he could between himself and the kingdom.

Leaves rustled nearby.

He froze.

A hand shot out from behind a tree, grabbing his arm.

Toya’s body reacted before his mind could catch up—twisting, shoving, ready to strike—but the person held firm, not with brute force, but steadily.

“Hey, hey—easy,” a voice said. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Toya’s breath caught in his throat. His instincts screamed to run—to flee before the stranger saw what he was—but the grip on his arm was grounding. Safe.

“Let go,” Toya managed, voice trembling. “You don’t— you shouldn’t touch me—”

“I said it’s fine,” the man said, tightening his hold just slightly. “Breathe.”

Toya wanted to protest, to shove him away, but that voice had slipped past the panic clouding his head. He tried to breathe. Once. Twice. 

Toya’s vision blurred with the pulsing glow of the curse. The hand on his arm was warm, grounding, pulling him out of that spiral. Slowly, the buzz of the darkness beneath his skin dimmed. His breaths came quicker now, still ragged but doing better than before. Toya held on tight until the curse was only a dull ache in his fingertips.

When his vision finally cleared, the stranger was still there.

His eyes finally focused, he saw a young man standing before him—ginger hair tousled, cloak thrown loosely over his shoulders with the hood down. His eyes were watching him closely.

“There you go,” the stranger mumbled. “Better?”

Toya couldn’t answer. His throat felt tight.

The man let go of his arm, stepping back a little, giving him space. “You look like you’ve been running for hours. What are you doing out here?”

Toya hesitated. His voice came out rough, low. “...Who are you?”

“Shinonome Akito,” he said. “And you?”

Toya swallowed. “Aoyagi…” A pause. “Toya.”

The name seemed to spark recognition. Akito’s eyes flickered with surprise. “...the prince—?”

Toya’s stomach twisted. Fear darted across his face before he quickly looked away.

Akito raised both hands. “Hey—! Forget I said anything, alright? Doesn’t matter to me who you are. Point is—what’s someone like you doing in the forest this late—alone?”

Toya stared at the ground. “Running away.”

Akito furrowed his eyebrows. “From what?”

He hesitated.

Akito tilted his head, frowning slightly. 

He was supposed to drive away strangers from these parts of the forest. That’s specifically what Ena had told him to do every time. And what Mafuyu told him. And what Kanade kindly reminded him. And what Mizuki teased him to remember doing. 

Yet—the boy in front of him didn’t look like a threat at all. He looked terrified. Exhausted. 

“People say I’m a demon,” Toya said suddenly, voice breaking. “They say I’m cursed. Are you—not going to kill me for it?”

Silence stretched between them.

Akito sighed. “This forest isn’t exactly friendly. You could get killed.”

Toya gave a short, hollow laugh. “Maybe that’s what the kingdom wants.”

Something flickered passed Akito’s eyes—understanding maybe. He looked at Toya’s hands then, at the faint traces of dark magic still lingering on his skin.

“You’re cursed,” he said. It wasn’t an accusation.

Toya looked away. “...So they say.”

Akito tilted his head, studying him. Then, without a word, he reached up and unclasped something from around his neck—a small pendant on a thin chain, glowing faintly orange in the dim light.

“Shinonome, what are you—”

Before Toya could finish, Akito pressed his thumb to the gem. A shimmer ran across his skin, and for a moment his entire form flickered.

The illusion dissolved.

When the light faded, Toya’s breath caught.

Horns.

The tips of Akito’s fingers—stained not blue like his, but a deep, ember red that pulsed faintly, fingertips and nails fading into a dark, near-black color.

Toya’s breath caught.

“You’re—”

“Yeah,” Akito said simply, giving him a half-smile. “Same as you. Not a demon, a hermit.”

Toya lowered his gaze, his voice quiet. “You hide it.”

“Most of us have to,” Akito said simply, tucking the stone back beneath his cloak. The illusion shimmered again, his appearance returning to that of an ordinary human. 

Akito paused for a moment. “There are others like me around here. We mostly keep to ourselves. You can stay, if you need somewhere to rest.”

Toya hesitated. But the thought of being alone again was unbearable. “I… I won’t be trouble,” he mumbled.

Akito laughed. “You already look like trouble, Your Highness. But that’s fine.”

Toya blinked, unsure if that was a joke or an insult. “Please don’t call me that.”

Akito shrugged. “Fine. Toya, then.”

It had been so long since anyone had said his name. The sound of it caught him off guard.

Akito glanced up at the sky. “It’s a bit of a walk. We should move before the rain picks up again.”

He unclasped his cloak and handed it to Toya. “Wear this. Hide your horns. I’ll use just the illusion stone this time.”

Toya hesitated again. He didn’t want to take advantage of Akito’s kindness. “You’ll be seen.”

“I live here,” Akito said with a small grin. “I’ll be fine. You, on the other hand...”

Toya blinked, then surprisingly let out a quiet breath that might have been a laugh. Just barely.

He pulled the cloak over his shoulders, the heavy fabric warm despite the rain.

Akito started walking ahead, the forest parting around him like it knew his steps. “Come on, Toya.”

Toya looked at him for a moment—and followed.

“Why did you help me?” he asked after a long silence, trying to keep up with Akito’s pace despite the ginger not even walking too fast—he was just extremely exhausted.

Akito shrugged, brushing a leaf off his shoulder. “You looked like you needed it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Toya looked down at his hands again—at the strange marks, the remnants of his curse—and then he looked back up at Akito’s matching ones. His voice softened.

“…Thank you.”

Akito grinned. “Don’t mention it,”

The words settled in Toya’s chest like warmth. For the first time in what felt like forever, he let himself breathe without fear.

Akito turned towards the sound of the river that ran through the trees.

“Come on,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “I’ll explain to them myself, you don’t have to worry about a single thing.”

Toya tilted his head. “Who were the other people you were talking about, Shinonome?”

“Just my sister and her partners… also just call me Akito,” he said.

“Alright… Akito.”

Akito felt warmth spread across his cheeks, his face flushed with a slight tint of pink. 

“Shin—Akito, are you alright? You’re—”

“I’m fine!”

For the first time since his exile, Toya didn’t feel completely alone. He didn’t have to run forever.

Notes:

should I make more hermit akitoya/touaki...
i love hermit

anyways about the trans shinonome akito
so there's a card set theory for the mizu2 set, which involves their horns. so their horns are either 1 full and 1 nub (mizuki) or like 2 full horns (literally everyone else), and the theory was that it was based off birth gender, so afab have 2 full horns while amab have 1 full and 1 nub, so it's based off XX and XY chromosomes. mizu2 set implied mizuki was a transgirl. anyway in this fic, toyas horns are 1 full 1 nub, while akito's horns are 2 full ones :3

is it really flufftober if it's mostly angst