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That voice had been in Huey’s head for as long as he could remember.
Sometimes it was quieter. Other times it was screaming at him, but it was never silent.
You deserve to be angry.
No. He would stay calm.
Your brothers deserve a little yelling, they’ve been rude all day.
No. His brothers would never deserve to be yelled at.
Just get a little angry, and it’ll fix everything.
No.
Never.
Huey never got angry. He couldn’t afford to. He simply couldn’t.
Him and his brothers may have been triplets, but he was still the oldest, even if only by a few minutes, which means he had to act like an oldest brother.
His brothers always went first, for something as small as snacks after school, or something as large as who got the better working life jackets during a kayaking trip.
That meant that emotionally, his brothers went first too.
When Dewey was sulking after fighting with Uncle Donald again, Huey would be there to lean against and listen as he ranted.
When Louie would have a difficult day at school and retreat into his hoodie, Huey was there, sitting on the end of his bed until the green wearing duckling came around to talk about it.
But what about when you need help? What then “King”?
Huey didn’t need help. It was as simple as that. Negative feelings were a waste of time that could be used being happy with his brothers.
So as a young child, living on a houseboat, he kept the negative emotions far away. He stuffed them deep down.
But Huey learned over time that bottling up emotions isn’t good for you.
As time passed, he bottled up more and more emotions, even ones that he should’ve been free to express.
It started with things like anger and sadness, things that Huey figured didn’t need to be dealt with and besides, his brothers’ versions of those emotions were always more heightened than his. Those versions needed more focus than his own.
Then it began to extend to other emotions like fear and disgust. When Huey disliked something, he mostly stayed pretty quiet about it. He only openly voiced his disliking of something if one of his brother’s did it first. Fear was the same way. He was the big brother, he had to be brave for Dewey and Louie.
Finally, it even began to swallow up his positive emotions as he got older. He joined the Junior Woodchucks at a young age, and he loved it. Sadly, his brothers did not share the same enthusiasm as he did, and while he was still part of the organization, the pure joy he felt about it was much more muted. He would often quote facts with a smile on his face, until one of his brothers made a comment and then-
They always make comments. They’re always going to make comments, they’re always going to make fun of you “King”. Why not just do a little yelling and I’m sure that will all stop.
AND then he would quiet down, retreating into himself.
It was soon after he lost his joy for Junior Woodchucks when Huey began to struggle to keep some of his emotions after wraps.
His anger, in particular.
His mind was beginning to struggle to keep up with all the anger he kept inside, and one day, the voice’s volume had ramped up significantly, and had introduced itself.
Hello “King”. Call me the Duke. The Duke of Making a Mess. Pleasure to meet you.
His mind had conjured up an image of the Duke for him, and it was like looking in a mirror for a funhouse, where it changed the picture so drastically that you could barely recognize yourself.
The ripped clothes and torn up hat couldn’t belong to him. The crazed look in his eyes couldn’t belong to him. The anger couldn’t belong to him.
This was a mess alright, a mess Huey would have to clean up.
He reinforced his beliefs about his emotions, creating a stronger holding spot for this new “Duke” character, and he kept it to himself. No use bothering his brothers with something silly like that.
But slowly, even Huey’s improved walls began to rust.
As the pressure to be the best big brother began to shrink.
It started when they moved into the McDuck manor, and there were more people than just him, his brothers, and their Uncle.
There were more people to look out for his brothers, and unfortunately for him, more people to look out for him.
The consequence of gaining so many new people is that his emotional walls began to shrink. He started opening up more, albeit never for anything super serious, just about things he didn’t like or things he was scared of.
He still never mentioned his sadness or anger, those were too far down the bottle to be dragged up.
But one day, everything in Huey just seemed to snap.
And he had a feeling it was the Dukes fault.
Ah so it’s always my fault huh? But I am you “King”, so therefore it’s your own fault as well.
It had started with Louie and Dewey arguing over adventure, strangely enough.
Dewey loved adventure, facing the unknown and getting into all sorts of trouble along the way.
Louie was the exact opposite. Louie disliked adventure very strongly, and would rather have laid around watching TV and drinking PEP! (Of course only always the first sip.)
The two had been bickering all morning, but now it was dissolving into a full argument, and both of them were getting pretty worked up.
Huey had tried to intervene a few times with no success, and he was getting pretty tired of the arguing.
He stood up once more from his spot on the floor, and walked over to his brothers, Louie sitting on his bottom bunk, and Dewey standing in the middle of the room, and stood between them, raising a hand in each of their directions to shut them up.
“Hey! What gives Huey!”
“This argument is pointless guys, why can’t you just agree to disagree.”
“Really. Did you just quote your book at me and expect it to end an argument Huey.” Dewey asked, sounding exasperated with his brother.
Louie just shrugged and rolled over onto his side, facing the wall, and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“It’s okay Dewey, if Huey quotes his book at us enough maybe he’ll finally think it’s boring like everyone else on the planet.”
You see “King”? They’ll never appreciate you.
Dewey started snickering at Louie’s comment, before doubling over and laughing, effectively ending the pointless argument at Huey’s expense.
As Dewey climbed up to his bunk, he exchanged a high five with Louie as he climbed, while Huey turned around to avoid looking his brothers in the eyes. Anger was stirring in his gut more than usual, and he wasn’t sure why, but he wasn’t going to let his brothers know.
“Aww cmon Hue it’s just a joke!”
Came Dewey’s voice from the middle bunk, where he’d flipped upside down and was dangling over the edge, his feet hooked around the frame keeping him from falling.
“Yeah Huey man, it’s a joke.” Came Louie’s lazier response from the bottom bunk, where he was lazily scrolling through his phone.
“A joke” they say. Are you really going to let them joke at your expense for the rest of time “King”?
“Shut up.” Huey told the voice.
“Damn, you can’t even take a joke Hue?”
Ahhh so the “King” has finally slipped up.
Huey turns around to face his brothers, and for once, he loses control on his carefully kept emotions.
He barely even registers that his mouth is moving and words are coming out, because he barely hears himself, all he sees is the way Dewey’s face slowly falls, and how Louie turns over to stare at Huey, mouth agape.
By the time he can hear himself again, his brothers look on the verge of snapping. Whether that be into tears or yelling, he’s not sure.
And it occurs to Huey that he has no idea what he just yelled at his brothers in anger, and he’s still steaming angry, and fighting to get it back under wraps.
He ducks out of the door, speeding down the hallway, when the Duke begins speaking again, and that’s when Huey realizes he had gone silent for the first time in his entire life.
Wow. Didn’t know you had it in you “King”. You really gave it to them. Have fun explaining that one.
Huey ducks into the closest empty room he can find, which is a bathroom. He pulls his hat off his head and wrings it in his hands, allowing his Junior Woodchuck’s Guidebook to fall the floor.
He snatches his phone before it falls with it, and sits down on the closed toilet.
He opens the group chat with his brothers in it.
He couldn’t explain the Duke.
How would he even begin to explain the Duke?
So all he texts is:
“I’m sorry.”
And pulls his knees to his chest, and for the first time in a while, he lets the tears fall.
Oh wait you’re actually upset about this.
Okay well uh that’s not what I was expecting. Um don’t worry “King” it’ll all be okay, yeah.
Yes.
It’ll be okay “King”. Give it time. They’ll eventually understand.
It’ll get easier.
They’ll understand, because they’re your brothers. And they “care” about you.
They’ll understand “King”.
Yeah, maybe it’s time we changed that title huh “King”?
When you’re ready, just let me know.
I’ll always be here, and I’m not always so negative.
Sometimes I can just be the Duke, without the making a mess part.
Sometimes I can just be Huey.
And you can too.