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It was 5am. Used to his sleeping regimen back in the Emperor's Coven, Hunter is laying awake in sleeping bag since his body clock will not let him go back to sleep. He's unable to relax and can't seem to get rid of the feelings of guilt he's been feeling lately out of his head.
It's been almost five whole days since he's been in the human realm and Hunter and his friends have only come up with one idea to rebuild the portal that horribly failed. How were they ever going to be successful?! The Human Realm didn't have the same resources as the Boiling Isles... it was practically impossible to build a portal here!!!
Flapjack and Gus were still sound asleep after a long hard day of work. Hunter wishes he could go back to sleep too, but years of waking up early makes it very difficult to do so. He scratches at his arms and clenches his jaw, frustrating that the coping strategies he's been trying to use aren't working.
Hunter thinks about the chocolate cookies Ms. Noceda baked last night. He helped himself to one, but didn't have more so his friends could enjoy them. The cookie was really warm and delicious, the chocolate chips were still a bit melty too. He really enjoyed it.
Sweets were always hard to come by in the Emperor's Coven. They were seen as a luxury, so Hunter only ever had them at banquets and special occasions. His uncle always told him not to eat too many, insisting that it would "spoil" him and cause complacency, so he never ate that many in front of others. But Hunter had a dirty little secret: he used to sneak in the kitchen after the banquets were over and eat as many leftover sweets as he possibly could.
Hunter loved being able to eat as many sweets as he possibly could. He knew it was wrong and gross, but they tasted so good that hey outweighed the guilt and fear he felt. In fact, it made a lot of the bad feelings go away for a little while. He didn't have to worry so much about being good enough as the Golden Guard, preparing for mission and pleasing the Emperor and all that. He could just enjoy the savory tastes of delicious food and indulge mindlessly, pretending that everything was okay.
But he really couldn't, and everything did not go as smoothly as he wished things would. After the third time he managed to sneak in the kitchen and eat lots of sweets, he was caught by Kikimora and reported to the Emperor. Hunter shudders as he tries ignore the thoughts about what the Emperor did as punishment.
He grabs his right arm nervously, still incredibly tense, and thinks about those cookies. They would be so good right now... but he really doesn't want to get in trouble. Ms. Noceda has been kind to him and his friends and he DEFINITELY did not want to give her a reason to make her turn against him and the others. But the cookies are right upstairs and she said any of them were welcome to have some whenever they'd like. Maybe he could just have one?
Carefuly, Hunter slips out of the sleeping bag and creeps up the stairs, walking on his tip-toes and making use of all the tactics he'd use to sneak up on people back on missions. He opens the basement door carefully and heads to the kitchen, seeing the cookies in a container the counter. Taking big but quiet steps, he approaches the container and pops the lid open, immediately grabbing a cookie. As soon as he tastes the smooth, sweet treat, he feels blissful. He's back in his happy place.
Hunter takes the container of cookies and sits down as he helps himself to another one. These were really good. He's quite happy that Human Realm desserts are just as delicious as ones he had in the Emperor's Coven.
He starts to feel a bit guilty as he goes for a third one, but his tastes buds crave it. He also stars to feel a sense of pleasure that drowns out the fear and restlessness he felt before. He feels bad for taking three cookies, but he can't help it. Besides, they are helping him. Hunter knows his anxiety is very difficult to take ahold of, so even if eating all these cookies could be bad, at least he'd be in a better mood. That's what he tells himself.
A hallway light turning on causes Hunter to stop in his tracks. Was someone already awake? He peaks and sees it's Luz.
"Hunter, what are you doing up?! It's five in the morning!!" she exclaims.
"The same could be said for you!" he retorts. She sighs and gives him a tired smile.
"I heard something. Must've been you were eating cookies, if I'm seeing this right? You better save some for the rest of us!" she teases lightheartedly.
Hunter's face flushes, taking her words a bit more seriously than intended. He looks down, feeling a mix of embarrassment and shame.
"Sorry... I just..." His voice drifts off as he notices he ate way more cookies than he realized. He continues to avoid eye contact, feeling like he's just been caught in the kitchen the way he was all those years ago.
Luz comes and sits next to him. "Hunter, it's okay if you ate those cookies just to feel better. You know, I do that sometimes."
"But I... Luz I ate almost all the cookies! I think I had like ate of them! Oh Titan... I shouldn't have done this...!" He grips onto his hair out of frustration. "Titan, I should've known I was gonna eat too many! What is your mom gonna say... how am I going to make this up to her!!!"
"Hunter, hey! It's okay, you don't have to make this up for anyone! Look... I know you're probably stressed out. We all are, heh. But... if you're struggling and doing stuff like this to cope, we should probably tell my mom-"
"NO!" Hunter exclaims a little too loudly, as if Luz continuing her sentence would put him in jeopardy. "N-No one can know. P-please... I don't want to get in trouble." He looks really worried.
Luz looks at him sympathetically. "Listen... I know it's hard to struggle with something like this, but my mom isn't going to be mad. She's not gonna punish you, she just wants to help. She wants to help all of us."
Hunter takes a moment to process these words. He believes her, despite his swirling doubts. Ms. Noceda has been very good to them all, and he trusts Luz.
"Okay. I'll let you bring it up. But I insist on helping to bake the next batch of cookies. Least I could do for eating most of the ones in the container."
"Deal, but I'm helping too! I'm not making you do most of the work!!!"
Hunter laughs in response. The guilt he felt earlier is now mainly replaced with a feeling of comfort and understanding. His friends are here to help.
This time, he doesn't have to pretend everything is magically okay, because even though things aren't perfect, he feels supported and safe. He can't help but smile a little thinking about this.