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A bell chimed near the entrance as the door swung open, a cold draft of air and orange sunlight invading the inner confines of the café which Agent Four of the New Squidbeak Splatoon had just entered. “Whoo!” She yelled in excitement, much to the dismay of the sets of eyes now staring at her after her outburst. Not that she minded it.
As the door behind her slowly creaked shut, the glare of the rising sun settled back as the door obscured it once again. The patrons within returned to doing whatever it was they were doing before Four broke the small silence. The café in question was decently small and rather rustic in design and had a bit more than a few potted plants scattered about, which Four felt added to the calming atmosphere of the place. There weren’t many cephalopods inside at the moment as the sun was still rising. She expected it to get a lot busier soon, which is part of the reason why she arrived early.
Today is a far cry from her usual morning routine: wake up, eat breakfast, practice basic hygiene, work out a bit and read up on a book or two. Then she could do whatever else that she had plans for, like a Grizz Co. shift or a meeting with the New Squidbeak Splatoon. It was a pretty relaxed morning routine in her eyes. Although some may disagree with that sentiment. Especially a certain Agent that loves to sleep in all day after staying up all night to handle agent activities that don’t need doing.
She’d first heard of this place from overhearing Callie and Marie talk about it, which she recounts was about a week ago. She did not eavesdrop, she did not. It’s not eavesdropping if you’re in the same room. Besides, Marie found her out pretty quick anyway. It did end up working out however, as the two later invited her along, which is why she’s here today! She wondered why the two had been talking as if it was supposed to be some discreet thing, it’s just a cafe.
Unfortunately, Four found out pretty early on in the morning that the two had some sudden last minute idol things that prevented them from making it. Four found it strange, but she’s not an idol so she can’t call them out on that suspicion. Besides, Four’s always made a solo day work out, this won’t get her down!
Four stepped further into the Café, her shoes striking against the wood floor in a calm rhythm before becoming muted as she stepped onto a patterned blue carpet in the center of the café, before returning to tapping against the floor as she made her way to the counter to make an order. There wasn’t a line, which meant that Four had gotten lucky in arriving when she did.
Behind the counter, workers were doing the usual tasks ranging from cleaning up to making drinks for the customers. It didn’t take long for someone to notice Four approaching, so they called for someone else as they appeared to be busy with something else. Four couldn’t see exactly what, as the worker’s back was turned to her and obscuring her vision.
Four snuck a quick look at her phone, it was a few minutes past 9:30, which was pretty good. Still a lot of time to get stuff done. ‘Every minute counts!’ She thought. She put her phone away, tucking it in the pocket of her hoodie. But as she looked back up, she saw someone on the other end that nearly made her jaw drop.
“Eight?!” Four said, surprised to see the cephalopod behind the counter. Eight appeared equally surprised to see Four. “You work here?” Four asked, not noticing the stares of the patrons once again turning to look at her in curious silence.
“Mhm.” Eight nodded slowly, “Didn’t I tell you I was picking up a job last week?” She raised an eyebrow.
“I mean, yeah, but I thought you meant going for more Grizz Co. shifts, not working at a café.” Four admitted sheepishly. “I mean, I know I’ve been working at Grizz Co. more often, lately.”
The pay at Grizz Co. was a lot and their bonuses were great! It almost felt like a steal, but the job itself was a bit of a hellscape with how many salmonids she and her fellow workers often had to fight. She and Eight often took up positions there, especially since they each paid half the rent. “That was originally the intention, but on my way I saw they had a help wanted sign out front and I wanted to take it.” Eight explained. “It’s a lot more relaxing than a run against the Salmonids. Unless it’s rush hour.”
“Then it’s more stressful?” Four asked.
“Well…” Eight spoke slowly, bringing her hands together as if to try and figure out how to word what she was going to say. A dry cough from behind Four signaled that a line was beginning to form behind the agent. “I’ll… tell you about it later. You ready to order?”
Four nodded, “Yep! I’ll take one medium coffee, please!”
“And how would you like it?” Eight asked.
“As dark and bitter as my soul.” Four said, making a dramatic voice to go with it.
“Alright, one order of caffeinated milk with extra cream and sugar coming right up!” Eight smiled, already forming the order.
“Blegh- no, no!” Four waved her arms in response, grimacing at the thought. “Just black, please! Just black!” She begged.
Eight giggled, smiling as she redid Four’s order. “Alright, one medium black coffee.”
Four let out a sigh of relief. She did NOT want to drink caffeinated milk. She doesn’t know a single person who does, the thought alone unnerves her. “Thanks, Eight.”
Eight nodded, “It should be ready in a few minutes. I can join you when I go on break.”
“Sounds good!” Four smiled.
After paying and saying a quick farewell, Four left the counter in search of a table to sit down and wait at. Most of the tables seemed to be occupied, though mostly in small numbers. There was a table near a window that looked over the street that seemed to be free, so Four decided to sit down at it and look at things on her phone for a bit.
The bustling outside of Inkopolis city was rather well contrasted from the inside of the cafe, even while Four sat at the window looking outside to a busy street as cephalopods, jellyfish and other individuals walked by. Four had already turned her phone to the side and had begun to play a phone game about taking over the world with an army of cats of varying abilities and kinds. ‘I wonder if Judd knows about this game.’ Four wondered.
There was this one level in particular that kept kicking her bass, no matter what she tried. Part of her was tempted to buy something to help. But she swore to herself that she wouldn’t buy things in games with real money aside from the game itself! She did that once and boy did she regret it. ‘May that twenty dollar bill rest in peace.’ She thought. ‘I never even got the cat I wanted. My army will forever remain incomplete.’
As Four quietly held a moment of silence for her fallen cat army on the moon once again, she almost failed to hear her name being called out at the counter. “Four? What kind of name-” She heard the worker mutter. She silently recalls that, oh right, none of the agents know each other’s real names. Hearing someone’s name as a number is probably a bit weird! Shrugging, she turned her phone off and sat up, walking over to the counter to pick up her coffee. Only to find two different mugs on said counter.
One of which was definitely the coffee she ordered, but the other looked to be a similarly-sized mug filled with milk. Both of which contained Four’s name on them and she had a sneaking suspicion that she knew what was in the mug of milk. ‘I thought Eight got rid of that?’ She wondered, picking up both mugs with one hand each. ‘Welp, too late to worry about it, you take what you can get!’ She thought, even though she really didn’t want to drink the sugar and cream infested caffeine milk.
Taking her two mugs, she went back to the table she had just been to. But as she neared it, she realized that another inkling was already there! One with a noticeable green-colored scar across the side of her head…
“Three?!” Four stared at her friend, mouth agape. “How did you get here!?”
Agent Three was in a much more casual outfit that Four wasn’t used to seeing her in, with Four almost always seeing Three in her agent gear. Three raised her eyebrow in response before pointing her thumb over at the front door. Four shook her head, placing the mugs down on the table and sitting across from her, “You know what I mean, I was just at this table and I didn’t see you anywhere near!”
Three visibly began to think for a moment before making an expression that said ‘didn’t see you here either.’ She held that expression for a moment, before staring at the milk-filled mug and pointing at it, as if to ask ‘you gonna drink that?’
Four stared at Three, deeply disturbed. “N-No, I think Eight forgot to remove it from my order somehow. It’s supposed to be caffeine infused milk with cream and sugar, but you can’t possibly be thinking of-”
As if to challenge her without even finishing her sentence, Three immediately grabbed the handle of the mug and lifted it up to her face, chugging the caffeinated milk as Four watched on in horror. ‘So I stand corrected.’ Four thought, filled with a kind of terror that she had never felt before, ‘I do know someone who would drink caffeinated milk.’
There was a long few seconds that passed by as Three drank the absurd concoction, before promptly setting down the mug, now emptied of its contents, letting out a sigh of satisfaction shortly after. Three then noticed Four’s horrified expression, raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘what?’
Four simply responded with, “You scare me sometimes, Three,” as she picked up her own mug and took a small sip of her coffee. The caffeine from within working its magic as her energy began to rise as she set it back down on the table. Three shrugged in response, not seeming fazed by Four’s shock.
Caffeine milk incident aside, the two got to talking. More so Four talking and Three making gestures in place of words, but she got the point across well enough so that it wasn’t impossible to tell what she was saying. A few minutes had to have gone by until Four heard one of the workers call out again, “Three? Seriously what are-” They wondered aloud. Three simply glared at their general direction and the worker caught on quickly, smiling and waving a quick goodbye before heading to do more work (presumably).
Four wondered what exactly Three ordered as Three got up to collect what had been left for her at the counter. Taking another sip of her coffee, Four’s eyes trailed after Three. She was already at the counter, picking up what looked to be a rather large cup with a lid. Putting a straw in, Three stepped away from the counter only to look back as Four heard her name being called again. This time, Eight walked up to her and began to say something. Four couldn’t exactly hear what was being said, but Three nodded and turned away from Eight, walking back to the table.
Three sat down, setting her drink on the table as she held up five fingers for Four to see. “...What?” Four asked, not getting it.
Three rolled her eyes, putting up eight fingers, then transitioning her hand to mimic walking, then pointed at the table, before putting up five fingers again. Four thought for a moment, trying to connect the dots. “Eight’s coming here in five minutes?” She asked, to which Three nodded in confirmation. “Ahh, I see. That’s nice! She’ll get a good break.” Four said, sipping her mug again.
A few seconds of silence passed before Four spoke again, “So what drink did you get?”
Three thought for a moment, wondering how best to convey her order, before simply shrugging and digging into her pocket, pulling out a small note and tossing it to Four. Four caught it, flipping it over to see what was on it. What she found was a list of increasing sugary options and details, using a white chocolate frappuccino as a base. The result is a weird concoction that, at least as far as Four is concerned, violates several health violations due to sheer sugar density.
Four stared at the note for a long time. To the point where Three almost looked concerned at just how long Four was taking to read it. Eventually, Four cleared her throat, “To reiterate, you scare me, Three.”
Three’s look of concern turned to one of confusion. “Wha- oh come on, you can’t tell me that this isn’t a really sugary order, Three! Twenty pumps of caramel- It’s ten in the morning! You could replace this with a two ton bag of sugar and you’d get a similar result!”
Three grinned without hesitation, giving an expression that seems to suggest that she doesn’t care. Of all the times Four imagined seeing Three smile, she never thought this would be it. Three kept her expression for a moment before pointing at Four’s coffee. Four pouted, “So what if I like my coffee without cream and sugar?”
Three smiled, Four could practically hear her say ‘can’t knock it until you try it’ as she gently pushed her cup towards her.
Four grumbled, instead choosing to take another sip of her bitter, sugarless coffee. She knew Three had a sweet tooth, but she didn’t think it was THAT bad. Then again, she doesn’t know a lot about Three in the first place, despite the fact she’s known her for a few months now. And in truth she doesn’t know just how sugary the drink is, she just sees twenty pumps of caramel on the paper and her neurons start decomposing from the sheer idea of drinking it.
Seeing that Four wasn’t considering it, Three shrugged before popping the straw back in her mouth as she drank the sugary concoction. The two stared at each other, not wanting to break the silence. Not even a minute passed before a set of footsteps drew both of their attention away from each other. Eight was walking over to them!
“Hey, Eight!” Four smiled, waving at her. Three waved as well, though didn’t say anything like usual. “Finally on break?”
Eight nodded as she sat down, her back against the window with Four to her left and Three to her right, “Did I keep you two waiting?”
“Nah, you’re right on time actually!” Four smiled, before looking at Three, “Please tell her that her potion of granulated sugar mountain is going to give her a heart attack.” Four pleaded.
“...Huh? Surely it can’t be that bad, can it?” Eight asked as Three handed her the cup to taste test. Four begged her not to drink it, but Eight’s mouth was already over the straw. One second passed, then the next. It only took a moment for the drink to hit Eight’s tongue. One sip and she took it out of her mouth, handing it back to Three immediately as she struggled to even swallow. “W-Well… it surely is rather… sweet?” She finally said.
“I knew it was too much sugar!” Four exclaimed. At this point, the other customers were well accustomed to Four being loud. Even though it had only been about twenty minutes since she got here.
Three simply rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her drink that Four could only believe was a crime against cephalopod society as a whole. Rather than focus on Three’s jail sentence of a concoction, Four instead opted to change the subject, “So, what do you two think we should do later? Turf war? Ranked?”
Eight shook her head, “Not today. I’d rather relax after work.”
“That’s fair! You relax all you want!” Four smiled, “How about you, Three?”
Three snorted in response, her expression unamused. Four could already hear her going ‘Late night patrol, don’t wanna waste energy’ or something along those lines.
“Alright, alright. We can just take the morning to relax then.” Four relented, leaning back in her chair. “We’ll come up with something for tomorrow when Eight gets off work!”
The other two nodded in response and silence fell upon the trio for a moment. Just as Four was about to break the silence again, her phone buzzed in her pocket. Taking it out, she saw a message from Callie on her notification screen. After inputting her password, Four’s fingers immediately began typing a response before she’d even finished reading the message.
Agent 1: Hey, Four! How’s the cafe?
AlphaFour: It’s great! Nice and cozy :>. Wish you and Marie could be here.
In no time at all, Callie had sent a reply of her own.
Agent 1: I wish! Hopefully you’re having a good time with Three and Eight!
Four’s fingers paused over her phone screen. How did Callie know Three and Eight were there? Eight could probably be explained by the fact she works there now, but Three? The agent who is only ever at like three locations max, none of which are this cafe!?
AlphaFour: How did you know Three was here???
Agent 1: Sorry, gotta go, my producer called an emergency meeting! Bye, Four!
Four’s eyes widened, her fingers tapping away faster than ever. Did Callie and Marie plan this!?
AlphaFour: cALLIE!
AlphaFour: CALLIE I’M NOT MAD
AlphaFour: I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU DID IT
AlphaFour: HOW DID YOU MAKE THREE GO SOMEWHERE, I NEED TO KNOW THIS POWER!
Even after spamming Callie with emoji’s, her vain attempts at gaining the forbidden knowledge remained fruitless. Four pouted, her shoulders slumping as she stuffed her phone back in her pocket, “May the knowledge forever rest in Callie’s head.” She whispered, before clearing her throat, “So-!” she started, before being cut off as Three immediately put a finger to her lips, causing Four to raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Whawbt?” Four spoke regardless.
Three rolled her eyes in annoyance, before pointing towards Eight. Eight had her head on the table, her eyes gently closed. She’d dozed off in the few minutes Four had been looking at her phone, it would seem. Four let out a quiet ‘oh’ in realization. “Well, she has been complaining about night terrors recently. Wouldn’t want to wake her up.”
Three quietly exhaled, taking another sip of her drink in response. She seemed to agree. Four wondered how long Eight had until she had to get back to work, but figured she could simply ask later. For now, “All we need to do right now is stay quiet.”
Three’s expression even seemed to challenge whether Four could even be quiet. To which Four quietly replied, “I can SO be quiet, Three. Maybe even quieter than you!”
Three leaned forward, her expression simply egging her on, as though saying ‘wanna bet?’
Four grinned, leaning forward as well, “Absolutely.”
Four would end up losing twenty bucks two minutes later. At the very least, she could say she tried.