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The first time that Soonyoung and Seokmin ever kissed was after school one day when Soonyoung was at Seokmin's house (as usual, because his parents worked late and being Seokmin's best friend for 6+ years had earned him the title of being the informally-adopted son according to Mr and Mrs. Lee). They had been playing video games (as usual), and after losing for the tenth time (as usual) to the younger boy and becoming convinced, that his controller was in fact rigged, the two had begun to wrestle over Seokmin’s (un-rigged) controller.
Soonyoung doesn’t remember exactly how they ended up face to face with Seokmin underneath him, his arm outstretched in an attempt to keep the controller away from Soonyoung, but he does remember the way everything seemed to go still for a second as the smile on Seokmin’s lips faded, and his eyes flickered in a way Soonyoung hadn’t seen before, the way he then leaned in and Soonyoung felt what it was like to have a pair of lips on his own.
It was quick, only lasting for a second or two, and Seokmin apologized profusely afterwards- saying something along the lines of him not knowing why he did that and he’s sorry and don’t be upset please, all things Soonyoung could barely make out from the way his mind was spinning to get a grasp on what had just happened, before he snatched the darned controller from Seokmin’s hand and sat down, mumbling something about a re-match as he tried to shove any evidence of what had just happened underneath the rug.
~
The second time they kissed was on a cold winter’s day after school, as the two leaned against the brick walls of the school building waiting for some of their friends to hurry up and meet them. Soonyoung faintly remembers the way the brisk winter air ran through his hair, making him shiver, and how he chewed at his lips, frozen and chapped from the cold. He very faintly remembers making some dumb joke about forgetting his scarf at home that morning, but what he does remember in detail is Seokmin taking off his own scarf, stepping in front of him and wrapping it around his neck, pausing when he noticed Soonyoung’s flushed cheeks and shivering lips (whether it was all due to the cold or him remembering their kiss is still up in the air), the way Seokmin looked into his eyes as he swallowed nervously before leaning in, he remembers not moving an inch as Seokmin’s lips pressed against his own, soft and warm in comparison to his cold and chapped ones.
He remembers how Seokmin pulled away quickly when he heard the laughs of their friends coming outside, the way his friends joked about Soonyoung forgetting his scarf again (he still doesn’t know if they ever saw but he has a feeling they did), and how when Seokmin’s hand brushed against his own as the group walked to their homes together he flinched, yet Seokmin didn’t even bat an eyelash as he pulled his hand away and settled it into his pocket.
Soonyoung remembers thinking that he shouldn’t have forgotten his gloves also, because it made the thought of him reaching into Seokmin’s pocket and holding onto his hand even more tempting.
~
After that second kiss, Soonyoung began telling himself over and over again that his relationship with Seokmin was that of a normal friendship (what was normal anymore?) and that there was nothing strange about it whatsoever.
After all, kissing your best friend once or twice wasn't strange at all, right? Spending time together with someone you’ve known long enough to be able to spend the night at each other’s houses, or go out to eat with when you’re bored isn’t strange. And it definitely wasn’t strange for him to think that the kisses were actually pretty nice, that he didn’t mind it if Seokmin kissed him once or twice or even a hundred times.
All of this was normal, he would say to himself, over and over again as if to shove away the thoughts that just maybe he didn’t want a “normal” friendship.
~
Soonyoung first begins to question why he doesn’t try to stop it when he finds himself pinned against a wall one night with Seokmin, his lips tasting slightly of alcohol, kissing him. One of the boys (was it Hansol?) somehow got a hand on some bottles of soju and the boys had celebrated by drinking as much as their 17 year old, never-consumed-alchohol-in-their-lives, selves could manage. He had started to feel clustered and sweaty with the other drunk boys, and walked out of his living room (it was always his home they hung out at for late night events such as these, it’s not like his parents would really mind) and outside to the patio. He remembers breathing in the night, smiling at how the cool air felt on his burning skin. He remembers the way the boys laughed from inside, too caught up in their own worlds to notice Seokmin step out as well.
He remembers resting his head on Seokmin’s shoulder, humming some tune and Seokmin chuckling. Then all he remembers is looking up and into Seokmin’s warm eyes, Seokmin turning, pinning him gently against the wall with one hand and reaching for Soonyoung’s hand with the other, fingers intertwining in s strangely familiar way. And then Seokmin is kissing him for the third time, then the fourth and fifth and after that Soonyoung doesn’t remember much, the night a blur of Seokmin’s lips and traveling hands and soft moans and the sound of their friends inside, unaware of what was going on just on the other side of the wall from them.
~
After that Soonyoung doesn’t keep track of their kisses, but he does keep track of their other moments, mainly their firsts.
The first time they cuddle together, five days after that night, when they are laying across from each other, bored of video games and Seokmin asks if it’s okay. Obviously, Soonyoung says it is and it’s nice for a few minutes until both boys start to think ahead of themselves and pull away with red faces and uncomfortably tight jeans.
The first time Seokmin tells him he loves him, right after he beat him at yet another video game, as well as after kissing him on his cheek; he smiled and said it was fine when Soonyoung couldn’t find the courage to say it back yet although part of Soonyoung knew it really wasn’t.
The first argument they have. Seokmin wanted to tell their friends; Soonyoung wasn’t ready. Seokmin wanted to know when he would be ready, and when Soonyoung couldn’t answer he walked away, leaving Soonyoung alone in that large empty house of his.
Their first “break-up”, and how afterwards Soonyoung realized that he was a coward for not admitting he was completely head over heels in love, as well as their first “make-up” when he then decided that he loves Seokmin more than anything and he isn’t going to deny it – all of which he says in front of their friends who rolled their eyes and said it was about time for them to say it out loud.
The first time they both realize just how close-minded others could be when they arrived to school to see slurs sprayed across their lockers, when they notice some of the whispers and looks thrown at them, rarely to their face and usually to their backs.
The first time Seokmin steps in front of Soonyoung, angrier than anything Soonyoung has ever seen and how the small group of bullies ended up on the ground in pain and Seokmin walked over, pulling Soonyoung away and the way he broke down apologizing in an empty classroom while touching Soonyoung’s bruised face tenderly.
The first time they actually make love, and the way both of them spend hours just laying by each other, breathing in each other and Soonyoung realizes he really has fallen for Seokmin completely and fully.
The first time they moved in together, excited about being able to have a place to call their own, unpacking and ending up with half-filled boxes crowding every inch of the small barely-any-room-to-stretch apartment, laughing at their mess and deciding to give up for the moment and go eat, not a care in the world because they had each other and they were happy.
He remembers all those things and how they all lead up to this moment, with Seokmin lying in bed across from him, his eyes closed and snoring softly, tired from a long day at work.
This moment in time, with the man he loves sleeping in front of him, and their son (a boy they adopted, a very bright ,now five-years old, boy named Chan who loves dancing and for some reason, Michael Jackson) also sound asleep in the room next to theirs.
He remembers all those things and smiles, because who would have known he’d have everything he ever needed from a simple kiss.