Archive of Our Own

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow
Pockets full of stones
Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow
― Florence + the Machine, What the Water Gave Me

It was Aiden’s idea, to no one’s surprise. 

Something about a much needed break after a long week of all-nighters and intense studying for their finals, and once Taylor was on board, everyone else followed much to Ashlyn’s growing dismay. 

Summer break was right around the corner, and what better opportunity to fight the growing heat than a day at the beach? 

She was the last one to voice out her approval, and given her appointed role as leader, the decision to go would still be up to her. There's a long, terrible moment where everyone is looking at her with the same pleading look in their eyes, all except Tyler of course. 

Because Tyler would only ever agree to spend a day lounging at the beach than baseball practice for Taylor’s sake.

He’s looking at her now, expression expectant as he waits for her answer while the rest of their friends are shouting over each other to try and convince her to go.

It wasn’t like she could say no. Not when Taylor’s already planning out what to bring for their trip, and Aiden’s already looking for rental jeeps in their area ‘cause Ben wasn’t too keen on public transport.

“We can do something else.” Tyler finally speaks up over everyone’s animated planning.

Ashlyn stills, her eyes widening.

“No way.” Aiden groans before sending a pointed look towards the other boy. “Are you seriously going back on your words after agreeing just a second ago?”

Tyler shrugs, not at all bothered by Aiden’s glare. He’s still looking at her when he adds, “I’m just saying there’s other things we could do besides getting sand on our feet.” 

“Uhh... correction, halfwit.” Aiden says raising his finger, matter of factly. “There’s nothing better than getting sand on our feet, and according to every slice of life anime that ever existed, the beach is the best place to start our summer break.” 

Tyler sighs in exasperation at Aiden’s usual antics, but there's no real heat in it. That's been a trend more often than not when it came to the older Hernandez twin. “Look, I’m not trying to back out from the trip.” He starts, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just saying we should keep our options open since there’s plenty of other places we can go to that isn’t an hour and a half away.” He adds with a seriousness in his tone that has the rest of their friends considering his answer more carefully. 

Not once has Tyler broken eye contact with her during his explanation, and a part of Ashlyn appreciates his suggestion for what it actually meant: offering her an out.

But Ashlyn could already tell how bummed out everyone will be at the prospect of changing plans now that preparations for the beach had already taken place.

And a part of her refuses to voice out her own disagreement out of fear that her refusal would lead to even more questions she can’t bring herself to answer.

And besides, Ashlyn didn’t really mind the trip all that much, getting to spend some time with her friends will always be worth any discomfort on her end. Even if said discomfort meant having to face the idea of being anywhere near a big body of water.

It wasn’t like swimming was the only thing she could do at the beach, there’s plenty of other stuff to occupy her mind, she could listen to music and daydream the whole day or even catch up on a book. She’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t actually go anywhere near the water itself.

She wasn’t completely helpless.

She could do this.

With her mind made up, Ashlyn finally gives the group her answer.

“A day at the beach actually does sound fun.” She says, forcing a small smile on her lips. “I don’t mind going if everyone’s already onboard.” 

The resounding cheers that followed suit was enough to make her smile for real this time.

Plans for the trip continued and were immediately set in place, and Ashlyn was content to stay back and watch while the rest of the group talked amongst themselves.

“And you’re sure you’re okay with this?” Tyler asks, sitting next to her without preamble. The mattress dips from his added weight and Ashlyn never realized how cramped her bed would be with him sitting next to her. She could feel his warmth radiating against her skin, and a part of her refuses to acknowledge just how fast her heart was beginning to beat at their sudden proximity.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asks him back, refusing to meet his gaze.

Tyler crosses his arms, giving her an unimpressed look like he can see through her forced indifference.

Not knowing what else to do with herself now that she has his undivided attention, she could feel herself starting to get even more nervous. Her hands involuntarily start playing with the hem of her shirt as her legs begin to bounce up and down, making her nervousness all the more obvious.

As if sensing her inner discomfort, Tyler finally turns his gaze away from her, his body moving with the motion to put some distance between them. 

Her body visibly relaxes from the gesture.  

“You know you can always change your mind.” He tells her evenly, his voice growing softer when he adds, “It’s not a big deal if you do.”

And with that, he makes his way over to the small loveseat where Taylor and Aiden are sat, not once looking back.

She watches as he elbows Aiden aside to sit in his spot, laughing shamelessly when the other boy toppled over to where Ben was sitting with a surprised yelp.

“I’m so gonna push you into the water the moment we step foot into the beach.” Aiden threatens, pointing menacingly while the rest of the group laughed at the two’s usual bickering. 

The casual, playful atmosphere in her room has shifted into something more subdued, peaceful even once the plans for the trip were finalized.

There's an air of anticipation and excitement creeping along everyone’s demeanor, it was undeniable how much everyone was looking forward to the trip.

And as much as Ashlyn appreciates Tyler’s earlier offer and assurance, she knows for a fact that she can never bring herself to cancel the trip.

She’s just gonna have to suck it up and prepare herself as much as she can.

The trip was still a few days away from now, she still has time to get used to the idea of being at a place that would normally bring her a sense of dread.

At least that’s what she tells herself the closer the actual date approaches. 

It could be worse. That's what Ashlyn tells herself as she begins to pack her things in a duffle bag after everyone else bid their farewells for the night. 

She's faced off with literal monsters and has been in more life threatening situations than she could count, and being in the Phantom dimension is far worse than spending a day at the beach.

Logically speaking, there was nothing to be scared of.

And yet a small part of her is still irrationally afraid that something terrible was going to happen when they’re out by the open sea.

Remembering Tyler’s offer earlier helps, and she secretly holds onto them until she could feel her growing anxiousness subside. 

She could only hope things would go according to plan this time around.

Her phone vibrates with a text notification from her nightstand. She startles for a moment before reaching up to grab the device, only to be met with a hundred or so unread texts in their group chat, probably from Aiden and Ben. The Clark cousins had an awful habit of spamming their gc with memes at the most unexpected of times.

And just below their group chat, there’s a lone text from Tyler that had been sent just a few minutes ago. Curiously, she taps on the message to read the full text.

[22:30] ‘We’ll pick you up early in the morning, so don’t sleep in like usual.’

A part of her wants to take offense at the implication, but before she could reply, a brand new text pops up:

[22:38] ‘And before you forget, my earlier offer still stands.’

Ashlyn smiles in spite of herself. She'd meant to thank him earlier, but she doubts he'll even accept her gratitude. He’s never been the type to think his kindness warranted anything in return.

‘thx but there’s no need. see u saturday.’ She types up before hitting send.

She watches as the small text bubble begins to move. It disappears before reappearing every few seconds as if Tyler can’t seem to make up his mind, until finally she gets a reply.

[22:43] ‘See you then, Carrot-top.’

Her pulse quickens ever so slightly upon reading the text and a part of her wishes she could have seen the face he was making when he sent her the message.

Maybe she could ask him about it on the trip.

With her mind pleasantly distracted, Ashlyn finally allows herself to imagine how much fun the trip would be for everyone, and if she closed her eyes then, she could easily picture the sound of her friends’ laughter echoing against the open window of an old beaten up rental.

She falls asleep in the next second.

After securing an old rental jeep that’s seen better days last week, Taylor had spent a good portion of the afternoon making sure the thing was still in working condition. Aiden had assured them the seller was legit, but he hadn’t specified how he’d gotten the rental’s price so low.

There wasn’t an issue after giving it a few test drives, and with a little luck they would be able to reach their destination without the jeep blowing up on their faces.

The twins were the first from their group to earn their driver’s license, and Tyler had offered to be today’s designated driver so long as they started the drive early.

Ashlyn had been skeptical about letting the older twin drive the entire time. It was an hour and a half drive to the sea afterall, but Tyler had assured her he’d be fine and he didn’t really leave her much room to argue either.

The twins swung by her place first. She is unsurprisingly not ready when the old rental arrives because no matter how early she tries to get up in the morning, Tyler is unfortunately always earlier to rise than her. She puts the thought of having little to no sleep last night at the back of her mind, her friends didn’t need to know how much she had been dreading this trip. After the third consecutive text from Tyler to ‘hurry the fuck up,’ she ends up having to scramble tying her hair before the older twin could start laying on the jeep’s horn. 

She did not need Tyler waking up her entire neighborhood first thing in the morning.

Taylor’s bright smile is what greets her as soon as she opens the door, and she readily accepts her fate and lets Taylor wrap her in her arms, trapping Ashlyn in one of her infamous bear hugs.

The younger Hernandez twin wastes no time and makes a beeline to the kitchen where she knows Ashlyn’s parents were.

She could tell the other girl was already enveloping her parents in the same bone crushing hug and she silently prays her dad’s back survives. 

“You ready?” Tyler asks, coming up to the doorstep. He’s dressed a lot more casually than she’s used to seeing him, his usual button up replaced with a loose white tee that perfectly matches Taylor’s own.  

She blinks, surprised by his question more than anything. “Yeah.”

He seems to consider her answer for a moment, an observant look in his gaze as he watches her carefully. 

“Then you’re riding shotgun.” He finally says. “I don’t want the psycho anywhere near the aux and you’re the only one I can trust with directions.”

Ashlyn nods slowly in understanding. "Sounds like a plan."

Taylor’s making her way back from the kitchen with her parents in tow, and Tyler sends them a quick nod in greeting, which Mike and Emma return with a fond wave, before motioning for his sister to head back to the car. 

Silently, he takes Ashlyn’s duffle bag from her hands and starts loading it at the trunk, giving her time to say her goodbyes before following him to the front. 

“Did you bring any sunscreen?” She asks as she enters the car. “I bought a new one yesterday but the store only has a medium sized bottle and there’s a lot of uss, and Aiden’s got sensitive skin so I don’t think one bottle will be enough, and I’m not sure if anyone else thought of bringing one on the trip―”

“I brought sunscreen,” Tyler assures before double checking the side mirrors and buckling her seatbelt in a swift click. “And before you ask, I already checked everything on our list with Tay last night.” He’s already used to her relentless questions when it comes to preparation, and a part of her is secretly thankful he never questions her insistence to check everything twice.

After years of being their group's appointed co-leader, Tyler’s already used to her less than normal approach and mannerism when it comes to prep work. Her relentless reminders and follow-up questions had been a habit she could never get rid of, and a part of her is secretly thankful he never questions her insistence to check and make sure every task was done.

“He even woke up super early to make all of our lunch.” Tay chimed in from the backseat, distracting her from her thoughts. There’s a knowing smile on her face when she met her brother’s gaze through the rearview mirror.

“You could have asked me for help.” She chides, feeling a bit guilty for having him cook on top of driving. “I wouldn’t mind splitting the work.”

“There was no need.” Tyler says slowly with a dismissive wave of his free hand. “And you probably had little to no sleep last night, so I doubt you’d be any help in the kitchen.” He adds just to be an ass.

She felt tempted to punch him square in the shoulder, but she held herself back. From the corner of her eyes, she could see a hint of a smirk playing with his lips. It only served to piss her off even more.

“So, did you bring your headphones?” Tyler asks to change the subject, refusing to acknowledge her annoyance and his twin’s teasing as he starts the engine, his grip on the wheel relaxed as he makes his way to their next destination. “It’s gonna get fucking loud in here by the time we reach the psycho’s house.”

“I did.” She finally answers before taking her headphones out of her messenger bag. “But I doubt I’ll be using it though,” Ashlyn adds after a moment, her fingers absentmindedly tracing the outline of each sticker Taylor and Aiden had placed on the device months ago during one of their group studies. “Don’t you need me for directions?”

“Nah, that was just in case something goes wrong with the GPS.” Tyler waves her help off with a flippant hand, the beads of his friendship bracelet bouncing from the motion. It was the same one Taylor had made for each of them back in freshman year. Funny, how it felt longer than a couple of years. 

“Besides, I’m not hopeless with directions, so I think I can manage on my own.” Tyler jokes, letting his lips curve into another teasing smirk when he adds, “not like someone else I know.”

Taylor immediately takes offense and threatens to kick the back of the driver seat if Tyler doesn’t stop laughing at her.

Even after all this time, the sound of Tyler’s genuine, carefree laughter manages to catch her off guard. She’s heard him laugh countless times before, but the sound―especially when his walls are finally down―radiates a kind of energy that has the ability to capture everyone's attention in a span of a second. 

The sound is honestly quite addictive if she was being honest with himself.

But his answer confused her, so she asked, “Then why did you ask me to ride shotgun?”

“I’m sure he was just worried about you―”

“I figured you’ll want some space and not have to worry about anyone shouting against your ear every other second. You can probably sleep the whole trip if you want, not like you’ll miss out on anything.” Tyler says over Taylor’s answer, cutting her off with a warning glare. His grip on the wheel begins to tighten when Taylor starts doubling over in laughter from his answer.

Ashlyn lets the siblings bicker knowing there’s no real heat behind their exchange, her own mind preoccupied with questions she couldn’t seem to bring herself to ask.

Tyler confused her greatly.

His kindness and consideration over her wellbeing even more so.

They drive in comfortable silence once the bickering dies down, the quiet only broken by the music playing on the jeep’s cd player. Ashlyn recognizes the playlist, it was the same one Ben had made them last summer.

By the time they’ve reached the Clark's residence, the jeep is once again roaring with laughter and carefree bickering. Ben had taken the left window while Aiden took the right, and with Taylor sandwiched between the two cousins conversation flowed easily.

Thankfully, there was still enough space for Logan to squeeze his way next to Aiden once they’ve gotten everyone’s things in the trunk. 

Aiden had insisted on bringing one of his digital cameras for the trip, wanting to commemorate the occasion to memory as much as he could, and with everyone finally accounted for, he was relentless in his photo taking.

He also brought a backpack full of games, handling Logan a complex rubik's cube that he swore was more complicated to solve than the last one they tried.

The trip was already off to a good start with everyone settling in nicely. The excitement in their faces is unmistakable from the rearview mirror, and if she closes her eyes, she could pretend that they were just having another one of their spontaneous car rides after school. 

By the time they’ve reached the highway, conversation finally lulls to something softer and Ashlyn lets her attention wander off to the outside world, pressing her forehead to the glass of the window, she watches the world mesh into movement, trees and gravel melding together in a single blur right before her eyes.

She stifles out a yawn, forcing herself to stay awake regardless of Tyler’s earlier words. It would be rude to fall asleep when she’s riding shotgun. She’s heard her dad complain about how often his friends would sleep on him when it's his turn to drive, and a part of her still can’t bring herself to relax knowing where they were heading.

Forty minutes into the drive, Tyler makes a quick announcement at a red light. “We’re stopping by the gas station, so if anyone forgot to take a piss before we left, hold it in and do it there.” 

“I’m getting chips,” Aiden announces, already halfway through a bag of m&ms. “Does anyone want anything else?”

“I already packed our lunch.” Tyler reminds, a warning in his tone. “Don’t go overboard with the snacks this time, Clark.”

“Yes, mom.” Aiden says with a dramatic roll of his eyes. “But we can't have the perfect beach day without a bunch of gas station chips in our arsenal, that’s like a well known rule in every beach day episode.” 

A chill runs down Ashlyn’s spine at the sudden reminder, her thumbs instinctive tapping against the cold surface of her headphones. The repetitive motion manages to soothe her a bit, and she takes comfort in the fact that no one’s commented on her lack of participation in the conversation.

She lets herself sink closer to the seat, letting her eyes close for a moment to steady her racing heart. They haven't even made it halfway to the sea and she was already exhausted.

When she opens her eyes again, her gaze wanders towards Tyler. 

There’s a troubled look on his face, a furrow in his brow that only appears when he’s deep in thought. Before she could ask him what was wrong, the sound of Ben’s text to speech converter rings out. 

‘Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him.’ Ben types out from his phone, sending Tyler a thumbs up from the rearview mirror. 

Aiden audibly gasps, clutching at his chest before pointing to Ben with as much hurt in his voice as he could muster when he says, “Betrayed by my own blood.” 

He makes a fainting motion, draping himself over to Logan before adding, “You wound me, Benjamin. I'm hurt.”

Everyone ends up laughing at the blond’s flare for dramatics and Tyler uses the distraction to grab Ashlyn’s attention with a gentle tap to her arm.

“You good?” He murmurs, soft enough that she’s the only one who could hear him.

“I’m fine.” She shrugs, voice just as soft. She rubbed at her eyes with the back of her jacket sleeve to appear more awake despite her exhaustion. 

“Our next stop is another thirty minutes or so,” Tyler says simply. “You should take a nap if you’re feeling tired.”

‘I’m fine.’ She wants to insist again, but one glance at Tyler and she knows he won’t let her slide this time. So she stops herself from protesting and nods her head instead. It was no use pretending she wasn’t seconds away from cancelling the trip altogether if she was being completely honest with herself. 

Just this once, she’ll take his offer and rest. Hopefully, she’ll feel better after sleeping her worries away. 

Laying her forehead back to the window, Ashlyn lets her eyes drift close, allowing the sound of Tyler’s rhythmic drumming against the stirring wheel and the amicable conversation behind them to lull her to slumber.

She wakes to the sound of tapping against the glass of her window.

Tyler’s right outside, motioning for her to open the door with his free hand. In the next second, he’s thrusting a breakfast sandwich and a coffee into her hands. She blinks down at them, unsure of what to do with them after being just woken up.

Carefully, she places the sandwich on the counter, not really having much of an appetite so early in the morning. 

The bitter aroma of the coffee was tempting though, and she wasted no time opening the lid of the cup to let the steam warm her cold face.

“Careful, the coffee’s still hot.” Tyler warns before making his way back to the driver’s seat. 

The smell of cheap gas station coffee fills the jeep in a matter of seconds and Ashlyn takes a tentative sip, letting the bitter taste wash over her. It wasn’t the worst cup of coffee she’s ever tasted, and for that she can’t really complain.

“Thanks for this.” She says after a moment, gesturing to the meal and meaning much more than what she let on.

Tyler nods, turning his head to face the window. Like this, it was difficult to make out what kind of expression he was making. But the faint red tinge to his ears was unmistakable. 

Even all this time, he was still awful when it came to accepting compliments.

She politely doesn't voice it out, choosing instead to change the subject, though she couldn’t really stop herself from smiling.

“So, where’s everyone else?” She finally asks, a little more awake after she’s had a few more sips. It had taken her an embarrassingly long time to realize they were the only ones in the jeep.

“Logan went to take a piss while I was getting gas,” Tyler nods to the rest stop out at the back before taking a sip of his own coffee, seemingly having recovered from her compliment. “Ben and Tay are out babysitting.” He gestures to the convenience store where the three were busy looking through each aisle, with Aiden holding a concerning amount of items in his arms.

Ashlyn snorts. “I doubt they could stop him.”

“Yeah, but it's worth a shot.” Tyler shrugs.

A comfortable silence falls upon them and her eyes drift over to the sky outside. The heat of the paper cup warms her hands nicely, and she takes another sip, noting the wide expanse of white clouds over the blue horizon.

The weather forecast had predicted sunny days throughout the weekend, and for once Ashlyn hoped it would be wrong. 

“Not hungry?” Tyler asks, finally breaking the silence.

At the mention of the sandwich, Ash wordlessly takes the bag from the counter and hands it over to him. “Not really.”

"Okay," Tyler concedes, taking the offered bag. “But you should eat something once we get there.” He adds before unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite.

Ashlyn doesn’t voice out her disagreement, trying to avoid any possibility of getting questioned further. The less she talked about her discomfort over this trip, the better.

As if he could read her thoughts, Tyler opens his mouth and asks, “Did you really want to come?”

The question comes out of nowhere, uncharacteristically quiet enough that it's nearly drowned out by the soft music playing on the speaker. Tyler isn’t really looking at her when he asks the question, his gaze fixed on the wheat fields across the highway.

They were parked in front of the convenience store by the gas station, and as the seconds ticked by, Ashlyn let her eyes graze move past the skyline to the same golden fields Tyler was staring at. The clock by the stereo reads a little past 6:30 in the morning and the air is crisp inside the jeep, the blazing sun hasn’t yet peaked over the forming clouds. 

Above them, a flock of ducks are flying over the horizon, forming a large V that distracts her from Tyler’s question. It's only when they begin to disappear from view does she contemplate answering his question, weighing out the ramifications of admitting something as deep and personal as her fear of the ocean.

Would he still look at her the same way if she did?

Would she be able to look at him the same way as well?

In the end, she thankfully doesn’t have to answer, because in the span of a second the rest of their friends have made their way out back to the jeep, Aiden announcing his bountiful harvest as he shows off the multitudes of potato chips and sweets in his arms.

“Hey, let’s take a group photo before we leave!” Aiden announces from the backseat, pulling out his camera to snap a few photos of the group, encouraging everyone to pose as obnoxiously as they could. 

“Wait, I think my eyes were closed on the last one.” Logan protests against Aiden and Taylor’s laughter.

“Hurry, take another one!” Taylor prompts, pulling everyone around her into a hug as Aiden snaps a few more photos of them, before handing the camera over to Tyler so that he could take a better shot of everyone from the front. 

Tyler motions for her to move closer to him and Ashlyn wordlessly follows, their shoulders brushing from the proximity. And before she could worry over the sudden contact, Tyler smiles at the camera and snaps their photo. 

Her eyes blink from the flash, and she secretly hopes her face didn’t look too weird in the photo.

“You couldn’t even warn us before taking the photo?” Aiden grumbles when Tyler hands him back his camera. “What if you weren’t able to capture the sheer beauty of my side profile?” 

“No time.” Tyler smirks.

“Oh sure, just cause you turned out great, you think that means we can forget about how blurry my face is here?” Aiden sniffs, looking through the photos.

“We’ll get caught in traffic the longer we stay here.” Tyler argues, no real heat in his voice. “It’s still a half hour drive before we reach the coast and I don’t need our asses stuck in early morning traffic.”

There's a flash of contemplation, a split-second where he glances at Ashlyn almost as if he was checking to see her reaction before he finally starts the engine. 

They pull out of the parking area easily, and once they are back to the main road, Tyler wastes no time weaving past cars to get them to where they need to be.

The ride takes precisely as long as Tyler has predicted, much to Ashlyn’s growing dismay. 

By the time his hand maneuvers the steering wheel to turn off the main road, a part of her already knew they were getting close. A pop song is blasting from the speaker after Aiden had managed to grab hold of the aux despite Tyler’s earlier protests, and a cold breeze passes through their open windows.

Asphalt soon turns to gravel beneath the tires, the ride turning bumpy the closer they reach the coast.

Aiden and Taylor immediately open their mouths to hum against the vibration, laughing at the way their voices wavered in a robotic pitch each time the jeep hit a pothole. 

"How much farther?" she hears herself asking, breathing in the distant, yet potent scent of seaweed that drifts through the air. The sea starts to peek through the spaces between the tree trunks and she tries her best to ignore the growing sense of unease in the pit of her stomach.

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the corner of his lips tilt up with the hint of a smile, the small scar on his lips curving with the motion.

She would have found the sight attractive had it been any other situation. 

The sun is already perched high amidst the clear blue sky, steadily heating up the interior of the jeep, and by the time Tyler had found a parking spot for the car, the humidity had created a sheen of sweat on her forehead. She ends up discarding her jacket, no longer feeling the chilly air from the jeep’s air conditioning.

The engine is shut off with a soft click and Aiden wastes no time leaping out of the jeep to announce their arrival. 

"Okay, everyone get out," Tyler commands, motioning with his thumb for the rest of the group to head out. “And sunscreen first, before you even think about going near the water.”

There’s a chorus of ‘yes’ shouted before the group makes their way to the trunk to grab their things.

Tyler’s door opens afterwards, allowing a gust of sea breeze to sweep through her hair, sending goosebumps down her flesh. With a question in her eyes, she watches him circle the hood of the car before he comes to the passenger side, swinging the door open for her.

"You ready?" Tyler treads carefully, as if he's trying to gauge her reaction. 

It catches her off guard.

It’s moments like this, when he's being far too careful with his words; when his usually brash nature is replaced with something far more contemplative that throws her off axis and has her scrambling to compose herself.

He can be perceptive at the worst of times.

Steeling her nerves, she takes his offered hand and lets her feet touch the warm sand. 

The rest of the group had already left with most of their things to scout for a good spot to occupy, and with nothing else to bring since Tyler’s already carrying her duffle bag for her, Ashlyn lets him lead their way. 

Tyler surprisingly doesn’t rush her, opting to set a leisurely pace for the both of them as they begin their walk down the dunes and onto the flat stretch of sand like they have all the time in the world. She keeps her head low, eyes focused on the way their hands are slotted together, how the beads of their matching bracelet would move after each step rather than what was up ahead.

It was stupid to think ignoring the situation would keep her nerves at bay, but in a way it was sort of working.

Strange, how Tyler’s presence is able to calm her nerves like nothing else in the world. She doesn’t even mind the feeling of his fingers wrapped tight around her palm. And a part of her secretly takes great comfort in the fact that he still hasn’t let go of her hand, and silently prays he doesn’t notice.

Under the scorching sun, with the deafening cries of seagulls passing overhead and the unmistakable scent of saltwater, the two of them finally reach the end of their trek.

Once Tyler spots their group, he finally lets go of her hand and she does her best not to mourn the loss of contact. She unfortunately makes the mistake of looking ahead and immediately regrets her decision.

The ocean stares back up at her, shimmering wickedly beneath the sunlight, paralyzing her with its vastness.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe, then. Her fingers curled upon themselves involuntarily until she could feel small crescent dents against her skin from how hard her nails were digging into them.

The pain didn't even register until she heard Tyler calling out to her.

He meets her gaze, his expression unreadable in a way that has her heart beating erratically inside her chest. Ashlyn closes her eyes for a second, willing to steady her breath before finally taking another step. She can’t allow him to see her like this.

Taylor spots them walking a few feet away and she runs to meet them halfway, tackling Ashlyn in another hug before ushering her to their spot which was thankfully farther away from the water. Ben’s already laid out their blankets under the sand and there’s two parasols wedged together to keep the sunlight from burning their faces.

Logan and Aiden had already changed clothes and were heading off for the water, with Taylor and Ben following suit.

From their spot, she could still easily spot Taylor and Aiden running across the shore, running past Logan and Ben who were both collecting seashells under the sand. She pushes past the growing anxiousness at the back of her mind. She’ll be fine as long as she stays far from the water.

She’ll be perfectly content to sit under a parasol the entire day, watching everyone else have fun playing in the water.

“You should go with them, I can stay to keep watch.” She offers lamely, kicking at the sand with her sandals and grimacing when they get on her toes. Her hands are fiddling with the strap of her bag as she waits for him to leave, willing her growing panic to subside. 

Tyler watches her, his gaze bright and sharp and indecipherable. Ashlyn wonders, just a little, if he’s able to see right through her discomfort.

Would she want him to stay even then?

“I can wait ‘till Tay or the rest come back.” Tyler suggests, moving to sit down on the blankets while he lays their bags next to the rest of their things. He rummages through the cooler for a bottle of red Gatorade before handing her a green apple one, her favorite flavor.

“Thanks.” She says, accepting the offered beverage and makes to sit next to him under the shade of the parasol, their knees brushing against each other from the proximity.

“Anytime, Carrots.” He grins, offering his own bottle to her for a toast. 

She clinks their bottles together before taking a tentative sip, letting her gaze wander towards the other boy to try and distract herself. 

Tyler’s hair is windswept and a part of his forehead is visible, making the scar on his forehead even more prominent from this angle. He’s wearing an old varsity jacket over the loose white shirt, with the sleeve of the jacket rolled up to his elbows along with a pair of red drawstring shorts. There’s a hint of a silver necklace peeking through his neck, hidden behind the collar of his shirt, and a part of her wants to ask if it's the same necklace she’d gotten him for his birthday last year.

The way the sunlight reflects off of Tyler’s eyes is enough to get her ribcage feeling shrunk and her stomach feeling fuzzy. Ashlyn’s breath nearly stutters when Tyler finally turns his gaze over to her. His skin catches the light perfectly from this angle, and Ashlyn feels a strange pang of something she can’t quite name inside her chest when his lips curve into a smile. 

Tyler always looked handsome. It’s why girls and guys flock to him after every baseball game for a chance to catch his attention. It’s why he’s gotten more confession letters inside his locker than all the rest of the boys in their group combined.

She’s known this fact from the moment she laid eyes on him, from the moment he’d introduced himself to class all those years ago.

And yet when he inches closer, a hand reaching out to wordlessly tuck a stray piece of her hair at the back of her ear, she couldn’t help but understand why he’s so admired and loved.

Tyler is sharp and loud. But he is also kind and incredibly selfless. He loves fiercely and protects those he cares about with a burning passion equal to that of a solar flare, and he has stars in his eyes and in his hands—constellations of callouses and scars wrapped around his fingers and arms. A testament of his strength and his resilience.

And when the same scarred hand rests over her own, she doesn’t push him away, instead the action warms her heart more than she can say.

Ashlyn pretends to be distracted by the bottle in her other hand more than she was watching him, her thumb drawing meaningless shapes against the condensation.

Like this, she could pretend nothing else matters but the warmth of his hand and the softness in his eyes. She could keep pretending the sound of large waves wasn’t sending a chill down her spine every time she heard its resounding crash, or that the scent of sea water wasn’t making her nauseous. 

With Tyler by her side, nothing could harm her. Not the whisper of the wind through the coast, nor the crashing waves kissing the sea shells upon the shore.

Ashlyn makes herself even more comfortable, leaning closer to Tyler and letting her head rest on his shoulder. 

The spell is broken once Tyler finally speaks.

“I don’t think any of them put any sunscreen on before going in the water.” He says with an annoyed click of his tongue. 

Ashlyn snorts. “No use trying to get them to listen now.” 

Tyler turns to shoot her the most unimpressed look he could manage and the sight has her rolling her eyes at him. But there’s no real heat to it. 

“Fine, but I have the right to laugh at their asses when they come crawling back here with sunburn.” He gestures in the general direction of the others and Ashlyn can’t help but grin.

“I won’t stop you.” She tells him.

As if he’s just realized something, Tyler reaches for one of their bags until he grabs hold of a woven basket. He lays it in front of them, opening the lid to show her its contents. 

“Want some?” He asks before taking out one of the plastic containers full of assorted sandwiches. He’s halfway through pulling out a container of cut fruit from their cooler when Ashlyn manages to stop him. 

“I’m not really hungry yet.” She says weakly. 

He gives her a look, the same look he gives Aiden when he’s said something unreasonably stupid.

“And you expect me to believe that?” He says, slowly arching a brow at her. “The only thing I’ve seen you ingest today is a Gatorade and a cup of gas station coffee, and that was about an hour ago.”

“I ate a lot last night.” She lies, trying to think of a way to get out of the situation without upsetting him further. “Look, I really don’t think I have any appetite right now.”

“Why?” He asks instead. “And don’t try to lie to me again, Ash.” He sighs, rubbing his face tiredly. 

Ashlyn stares at the sand by their feet, watches as a small hermit crab begins to crawl out of an upturned shell to look for a new home. Despite feeling called out, this is also the first time she’s heard him sound this defeated. And as much as it surprises her that part of her actually wants to tell him the truth, she simply doesn’t have the words.

“I really am not hungry.” She tries again.

He makes a noise of disbelief, and her vision tinges red. What does he want her to say? That she’s been scared to go on this trip since day one, but she’s even more scared of disappointing her friends than admitting she’s got a stupid fear of the ocean? She already knows how idiotic it sounds to admit she’s scared of something that couldn’t even touch her from this far away. And regardless of how much she trusts Tyler, even with her life, she can’t bring herself to tell him what was wrong.

“Okay, well something’s clearly wrong if you’re trying this hard to dodge my question.” He points out.

“Just drop it, Ty.” She hisses with more venom than she had intended. “I don’t need you looking after me like I’m some helpless idiot who can’t even feed herself.” The words are cold, juxtaposing the heat that rages in her eyes from the hurt and guilt she was feeling. 

The sharp edges of her words did nothing to shake him from her, but when he saw the wetness in the corner of her eyes, he finally turned his gaze away.

His expression changes, a mixture of frustration and something too close to defeat.

She knows she’s hurt him deep down, but the damage was already done, and she can't take it back no matter how much she deeply regretted saying something so insensitive, regardless of her own feelings in the matter.

She knew his insistence came from a place of care and worry, after knowing what the twins have been through for most of their childhood, she knew more than anyone how important being fed is to someone like Tyler. And yet she had let her own fear and insecurities blind her to the point where she had twisted his concern to something it wasn’t.

“Nevermind. I shouldn’t have asked.” She hears him say and she knows he’s seconds away from leaving her out of some misplaced idea that he’s the cause of her growing distress.

In her desperation to try and fix the situation between them, she fails to notice someone else approaching their spot, and in the next second Tyler’s already getting up to leave.

“Tay’ll be here soon.” He says, nodding his head to where Taylor was. “I should probably go.”

“Tyler, wait.” She calls out, wishing more than ever that he’d stay.

“No, you’re right.” He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly before staring at her unshed tears with a pained look in his face like he’s seconds away from breaking something. “I overstepped, and I’m sorry.” He says quietly, smearing pain down his face with the drag of a palm.

“You don’t have to―”

“I’ll see you later, Ashlyn.”

And then he’s gone.

Ashlyn lets the hand reaching out to him drop to her lap, staring at it. Fresh guilt settles into her stomach, joining the rest. She can’t let it get to her now, not after everything she’s done to stitch herself together for this trip. Not after convincing herself that keeping her secret was more important. 

Pathetically, she drags her gaze back to where Tyler stood. He’s speaking with Taylor now, his back to her the same way all those days ago, except the image does nothing to quell the growing ache in her chest this time around.

She tips her face up skyward, squeezing her eyes shut to try to stop herself from crying altogether. Taylor’s already making her way over, and she doesn’t know if she’ll have the strength to evade any of her questions or concerns.

Thankfully, Taylor doesn’t pry her for answers.

The younger Hernandez twin has always been good at reading people’s mood, and she’s glad Taylor made no attempt to get her to open up. But there’s a sad smile on her lips when she replaces Tyler’s earlier spot though, and Ashlyn does her best to ignore the understanding look Taylor was giving her.

“Don’t let whatever Tyler said make you feel bad.” 

Ashlyn blinks, taken off guard by Taylor’s words.

“What?”

“I’m sure my brother meant well, but he can be extremely pushy and stubborn at the worst of times.” Taylor snorts, a fondness to her tone that indicated a fierce love and loyalty towards her brother. “That's why he asked me to stay here with you,” Taylor explained further, pulling out a sandwich from one of the plastic containers. “He wanted to make sure you weren’t alone.” 

“You don’t need to keep me company.” Ashlyn starts before Taylor cuts her off with a shake of her head.

“I wanted to.” Taylor insisted. “And before you ask, it’s not ‘cause Ty asked me to, I just thought it would be fun to spend some time together.” She’s halfway through eating her sandwich, there’s a teasing smile on her face when she adds, “And besides, I’d rather hang out with you than spend any more time with the boys. Like, have you seen what Aiden’s been doing with that water gun?” 

Ashlyn smiles at that, able to perfectly imagine the other boy torturing the rest of their friends with his typical antics.

“Thanks, Tay.” She says, meaning more than what she lets on. “I’d really like your company right now.”

Taylor nudges her with her elbow, a blinding smile on her face. “Anytime, Ash.”

The rest of the day was spent catching up on the latest drama in their class and what the mechanics club was planning to make for next semester’s presentation. Taylor has always been great company; her animated way of story telling and uncanny ability to make any mundane moment in her life entertaining was a trait Ashlyn always admired about her, and for a while she was content to let Taylor talk her ear off about anything and nothing if it meant a distraction from her thoughts.

Every few moments, one of the boys will join them. Ben and Logan would come over to show them their collection of shells and grab a bite of food before heading out to the shore to look for more specimens to observe. Aiden only ever comes to recharge on snacks and fill his body with sweets. 

And in all that time, not once has Tyler tried to rejoin them.

She’d caught sight of him playing a game of volleyball with a group of strangers a couple of years older than them. Taylor had cheered when they saw him score for his team a couple of times, but the older twin made no attempt at acknowledging Taylor’s boisterous encouragement.

He’s probably ignoring them cause he’s mad at her, Ashlyn suspected. 

And a part of her still feels awful for what she said to him earlier. Regardless of Taylor’s reassurance, she had caused that expression on Tyler’s face, and no matter how much she tries to justify her actions a part of her already knew she was the one at fault.

If she’d just hid her fears better, or just apologized earlier, maybe he wouldn’t have left.

She hadn’t meant to cause him this much trouble.  

“Ty isn’t mad at you, by the way.” Taylor starts, like she’s somehow able to read Ashlyn’s thoughts. “He’s the type to distance himself after an argument, especially when he thinks he’s done something to hurt you.” She explains with a sad, knowing smile on her face. “Just give him some time to sort his own thoughts out, yeah?”

But that was the thing, wasn’t it? Tyler had nothing to feel guilty about. 

This was all her fault.

It doesn't take long for guilt to rise up and make its way back inside her chest. She's not sure which is worse: Having to cause so much worry and concern between her friends, or having to keep pretending nothing was wrong with her in order to keep her secret.

Before she could decide on an answer, a deafening whistle was suddenly blown out.

And in the next second, a pair of life guards are shouting among each other and a crowd is forming near the shore. 

It was hard to make out what was happening, and a part of her feels dread creeping into every part of her body as the sound of shouting echoes against her ears. It takes Taylor placing a steady hand on her arm to shake her from her frozen nerves.

“I can’t find Aiden or Ben.” Taylor worries, looking frantically for their friends, and Ashlyn turns towards the coast where the crowd has now doubled in size with everyone eager to bear witness whatever’s going on. 

“Get Tyler.” Ashlyn hears herself say before running off to find the rest of their missing friends. 

She runs past the crowd of people, bumping into strangers and nearly tripping over driftwood to reach the center of the commotion. She sees no sign of Aiden or Ben anywhere, and when she hears a few of the strangers whispering among themselves about someone getting caught by a wave, she panics.

Ashlyn starts running, she doesn’t even register where she was heading to until she could feel the cold water lapping at her feet. 

The sound of the crowd and her own raging heartbeat becomes white noise, then. Nothing more than a background tune, swallowed by the symphony of the ocean embracing the shoreline; seawater breaking and rushing, claiming shells and seaweed and other beachside litter. 

Nothing could escape the ocean’s clutches, and it was only a matter of time before the water claimed her as well.

That was the thing that scared her most, the ocean’s ability to take and take until there was nothing left for her to lose. And as she stood leg deep into the salty water, she couldn’t help but feel like it was taking her every last bit of her strength as well, sucking it into its impossibly blue depths.

She felt a chill run down her spine at the thought, and in the next second, she was bolting out of the ocean with only a single thought in her mind: You need to get away.

Ashlyn runs until her vision starts to blur and her breathing turns labored, blood rushing through her ears in an erratic thump, thump, thump. She runs until the deafening noise of the water turns almost static, until her legs give out from exhaustion. 

She managed to run a good distance, huddled between a boulder hidden behind an empty cove; away from the crowd and the all encompassing sea. 

Her head was pounding, but it’s a different kind of pounding from what she’s normally used to, like she can feel it shaking in her bones, straight down to her fingertips. Her lungs are squirming inside her ribcage and she tries to steady her hands by fiddling with a loose string on her shirt, her shirt collar, the edge of her fingernails. 

But her breaths remain erratic regardless of how many times she tries to steady her breathing.

There’s a sinking feeling in her guts and the more she struggled to breathe, the more it felt like her lungs were on fire. Her throat felt closed up and black dots began to surround her vision. There's static ringing in her ears, and when she closes her eyes to try and get a hold of herself once more, she realizes her face was feeling far too numb. 

She hugs her legs closer to her chest, feeling impossibly small and useless. She didn’t know what else to do.

Nothing was going the way she wanted it to.

Everything hurts.

And she felt wrong. 

By the time she realized what was happening to her, it was already too late. She’s never had an attack creep up to her this violently before, and she had nothing and no one to help her through it this time. She was all on her own, and a part of her wished more than anything to be back home.

In her desperation to get her body to stop shaking, she hadn’t realized she was no longer alone. 

A footstep alerts her of another’s presence but she doesn’t have the energy or capacity to care.

The adrenaline from earlier has long since faded away and it leaves her feeling slightly wooden, a little numb, not at all in control. 

It takes an eternity for her to realize the other person hasn’t left and was calling her name.

“Ashlyn?” Tyler tried again. “Talk to me, please.” He urges, worry and desperation coating his words as he tries to coax her for a response. 

Ashlyn finally manages to let out the smallest sound of acknowledgement, her whole body shuddering. 

“Okay, good, good,” He says, letting out a relieved sigh before slowly taking off his jacket to wrap it over her shoulders. “Keep this on you for a bit, yeah?” He says, tying the sleeves in a loose knot so it doesn’t fall off her shoulders. “I hear it helps.” 

The fabric is warm and soft against her skin, the weight familiar from all the times she’s borrowed it from Tyler’s closet. 

“Come on, Carrots.” Tyler breathes, placing a gentle hand on her own.  

He sits himself next to her, mindful to put some distance between them, his hand still firmly holding hers.

He isn't looking at her when he speaks, but his tone is kind when he says, “You need to breathe for me, Ash.”

She tries, she tries really hard but her breath comes out ragged and uneven still. She immediately panics, but Tyler is there to ground her this time.

“I know, Carrots. I know it’s hard, but ya gotta keep trying for me.” Tyler soothed, keeping his voice steady, his grip on her hand firm. “Come on, one more.”

“It hurts, Ty.” She chokes out, the rawness of her voice surprising her more than her admittance. 

“You’re gonna be okay.” Tyler assures, rubbing circles on her palm with his thumb. “I’ve got you, and we’re gonna get through this together, alright?”

She manages to nod her head in response and waits for his next instruction. 

With her permission to continue, Tyler takes her hand and gently places it on his own chest, letting her palm rest on the smooth expanse of his white shirt, his own fingers pressing onto her palm until she could feel through the fabric and make out his heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of his chest. 

He wants her to breathe in time with him, she realizes.  

“Come on, Ashlyn.” Tyler starts again, his voice even and reliable like always. “Just follow my lead.”

Hearing his voice, knowing that Tyler is here with her - that she has someone to rely on finally eases something in her and finally lets her mind focus on the task at hand. There's a lightness to her chest now, one that's grounding in a way she knows is entirely derived from Tyler’s presence alone; and it’s what finally allows her to close her eyes and try again.

After all, Tyler wasn’t the type to simply give up even when things get hard.

That was one of the first things she’d noticed about him, after they’d all started regularly hanging out, was Tyler’s inability to give up. He's always always trying. 

It’s nothing short of inspiring.

Tyler coaches her through her breathing, slowly counting to five for each inhale and exhale, always so patient with her even when she messes up the first few tries. He urges her to keep going until finally she is able to breathe a little more evenly. 

“That’s it. You’re doing great, Carrot-top.” Tyler beams at her progress, his face softening until all the sharp edges are gone. Under the direct light of such a smile, Ashlyn felt compelled to smile back..

That is until she finally has enough awareness to remember what she was doing prior to her sudden attack. Her grip on Tyler’s hand immediately tightens and a part of her begins to panic once more.

“Aiden and Ben―”

“Are fine.” Tyler cuts her off before her mind could start to fully panic, a knowing look in his eyes when he begins to recall what happened. “The emergency was about something else. A family, I think. Something about getting caught by a wave.” 

A wave of guilty relief washes over her at the knowledge that the emergency was about someone else completely, and that her friends were unharmed. 

“You don’t need to worry about the family either,” Tyler nudges her shoulder, a look of complete understanding in his face that has her avoiding his gaze in fear that he’s seen too much. “The life guards got to them before anything could happen.”

Tyler’s still watching her, whether it's because he’s gagging for her reaction at the news or from trying to check on her wellbeing, Ashlyn finds herself grateful either way. There's an undercurrent of relief and gratitude washing over her at the knowledge that she has someone like Tyler looking out for her.

“Thanks, Ty.” Ashlyn breathes the words out, meaning so much more than what she could say at the moment. 

Unsurprisingly, Tyler seems to understand what she meant regardless.

“Anytime, Ash.” Tyler smiles, one of his rare once-in-a-blue-moon, downright stunning smiles that has Ashlyn finally returning the gesture with a smile of her own.

Time passes by and yet the two of them are perfectly content to stay exactly where they are, unmoving. With Ashlyn attuned to the warmth of Tyler’s thigh pressed against her own, the breath passing through his lips, and the fingers that are still tangled into hers. Her heart beating in time with each of his breaths.

Her hand is still in Tyler’s, with her free hand trailing over the muscles of his arms, mapping over jagged lines of embossed skin, counting each scar until her hand reached the scar that ran straight across his palm. She remembered the night the incident had occurred. How he’d taken an attack meant for her with no hesitation, how he’d refused all of her attempts to apologize after despite the bloody mess it left his hand. 

Tyler must have noticed the shift in her mood, his thumb brushing over her knuckles comfortingly until her thoughts are no longer clouded by the memory. Time continues to pass and none of them have said a word, the both of them perfectly content to exist quietly in the same space like it's the most sacred thing.

She would have been fine to let the comfortable silence between them continue, but a part of her knew Tyler had questions he wanted to ask her, and more than that, she still had to apologize for the way she acted towards him earlier.

It wouldn’t be fair to keep taking advantage of his kindness and consideration like this, not when he’s given her so much of it already.

Ashlyn mulls her options over in her head. She’s conscious enough now to put her thoughts into words. She could say tell him right now, open her chest for no one else but Tyler to see. 

For once, the idea doesn’t terrify her as much as it normally would.

But before she could even attempt to explain herself to him, Tyler’s phone starts to ring from his pocket, startling the two of them and causing Tyler to drop her hand to answer the device. 

Ashlyn takes the distraction as an opportunity to watch him from the corner of her eyes. Judging by the way his expression and tone softens upon hearing the voice on the other line, he’s probably speaking with Taylor right now.

“Yeah, we’re all good.” He says, his gaze momentarily shifting back to check on her. “Tell the others to stop worrying, we’ll be back soon.”

The call ends after the two exchange an endearing goodbye, something along the lines of ‘Yeah, love you too, Tay.’ right before finally hanging up. And by the time Tyler was finally pocketing his phone back, a part of her feels too anxious to continue with her earlier plans.

Tyler takes one good look at her and begins to stand up, beckoning her to follow suit.

“Are we going back?” 

Tyler takes a few moments to mull over his answer. “We can if you want, but I’ve got another place in mind.” He points somewhere further from the shore, towards a rock formation that immediately piques her interest. “It’s not too far from here if you’re not in the mood to meet up with everyone yet, we can go there instead.”

Her curiosity overshadowed her initial skepticism and she finds herself taking Tyler’s offered hand, wordlessly letting him guide her to their next location.

Together, they trudge over sand and overturn shells, with Tyler’s hand firmly grasping hers to assure she doesn’t stumble over the rocks. It doesn’t take long until she spots where he’s taking her. She sees the bright flash of sunlight reflecting off the water first before the blue stillness of the trapped seawater. 

They stop walking once the tide pool is in full view.

“The water’s pretty shallow today, barely a foot deep if I had to guess.” Tyler begins to explain, marvelling at the small pond by the ocean’s edge. “Me and Tay used to turn rocks over just to see what we’d find underneath back then.” He adds, a fond smile forming on his face as he recalled the memory. 

Slowly, he turns his gaze to her, an expectant look in his eyes when he asks her, “You wanna go in?”

“I'm sorry, Ty.” Her voice starts to tremble. “I-I can’t.”

She half expects him to demand an explanation, to try and get her to go under the guise of fun, but this was Tyler and the last thing he would do is force her into doing something she doesn’t want to.

“Then how about we just sit here and enjoy the view?” He offers instead, sitting himself down easily. He pats on the empty space, his palm landing on the smooth surface next to him in invitation. She appreciates the clear compromise he was making for her, but she still found herself hesitating, once again she is unsure of what to do in such a situation. 

“You don’t need to worry about the water getting to your feet,” Tyler starts, easily cutting through her thoughts and grabbing her attention once more. “With your height I doubt you could even reach it.” He adds as an after thought, a hint of a smirk playing with his lips when he meets her gaze.

The offhanded insult does the trick and she forgets all her fears out of favor of proving him wrong. She sits herself next to him slowly, careful not to fall in and land on the water.

“Fine. But you better not push me in the water.” She warns him with a glare. “I’m serious, Tyler.”

“Like I’d let you fall, Carrots.” Tyler scoffs in mock offense. “Now shut up and enjoy the amazing view.”

She wants to take offense at his snide remark, but the look on his face has her closing her mouth and following his lead. Below them the salt water is very clear, allowing them a marvelous view of what’s underneath the water. Away from the all encompassing ocean, the little water world by her feet in comparison almost feels quiet and lovely.

A small fish scurries out of view to hide behind a patch of sea grass. Crabs rush to the waving algae. A few Starfishes are clustered over mussel covered rocks, their vibrant colors eye-catching even from far away. There’s a tide coming in, and the soft current pulls at the rocks and other sediments beneath.

Surprisingly, Ashlyn finds herself fascinated by the constant motion and abundance of life in the shallow water, her usual trepidation regarding anything that has to do with the ocean almost felt like a distant memory in comparison.

“Well, you’re right about the view at least.” she says, suddenly realizing she actually meant it. His answering smile is the sunlight reflecting against the rippling water. 

“Glad I was able to change your mind then.” He grins, his sharp canine poking out from the motion.

Ashlyn can't find the right words to answer. 

A few seconds of silence; the sound of their breaths. It's one of those rare moments between them where nothing else matters, not the passage of time nor the space around them. She felt grounded and free all at once, her earlier concerns an afterthought when faced with the direct warmth of Tyler’s smile.

He’s always trying to find a way to make things easier for her, and has always been her biggest source of strength and comfort. Tyler’s always been looking out for her. Even at the start of this trip, he’d been looking out for her unprompted and making sure she was taken care of in ways even she didn’t know she could have, could ask for.

It was comforting as much as it was overwhelming, to be cared for in such a way.

Ashlyn wonders how Tyler does it so effortlessly; caring for others this much can’t be easy.

And yet all she’s done to repay his kindness throughout the day was keep sectors from him, push him away, and cause him problems.

She so badly wants to apologize, to finally explain herself to him like she’d planned earlier, and yet her mind is struggling to string her thoughts together, her voice caught in her throat as she desperately tries to articulate herself.

“You didn’t have to apologize about not wantin’ to go in the water earlier.” Tyler starts, his voice a distraction from her jumbled thoughts. There’s a serious edge to his tone, his voice leaving no room for argument when he adds. “Ya could’ve just said no and I’d stop asking, it wouldn’t have been a big deal.” 

Except it was in fact a big deal. 

Ashlyn could only count in one hand the amount of people she knows and trusts to stop when she tells them to, and it's that realization and her complete trust in him that finally prompts her to talk.

“Then let me apologize for something else,” she starts, her pulse racing now that she’s finally bringing up what had happened earlier. “Listen Ty, about what I said to you earlier, I need you to know I was being stupid and I…” She drags, taking a deep breath to steady her voice before finally continuing. “I actually do appreciate the fact that you’re always looking out for me.”

Fiddling with the string of Tyler’s jacket, she refuses to meet his gaze as she waits for his response. Her lungs are squirming, and the erratic beating of her heart did nothing to quell her growing embarrassment.  

She can’t bring herself to face him yet.

Clenching her fist to fight her growing agitation, she readies herself for the inevitable rejection. She wouldn’t be surprised if he’d scoffed at her pathetic attempt to make up for her actions, she couldn’t even thank him properly for his help, let alone explain herself properly. 

She’d be stupid to think he’d be okay with a half-baked apology like this. 

She can feel Tyler’s eyes boring into her as drew invisible shapes in the fabric of her shorts, which she refuses to acknowledge. A strong breeze blows past them, messing with the fringe of her hair though she can’t really bring herself to fix it back right now.

Surprisingly, she doesn’t have to worry about it because in the next second, Tyler’s reaching up to wordlessly tuck her hair back for her.

“Not your fault.” Tyler murmurs, a gentleness in his voice that she wholeheartedly thinks she doesn’t deserve. “Don’t tell Tay I said this, but she’s right, I’m too stubborn for my own good.” His lips curve up into a rueful smile. “I should've known not to push you earlier.”

There it was again, the hiccup in her chest.

The one that almost feels like it’s going to turn into a scream, but only sinks into her stomach, leaving butterfly winged kisses against her insides. 

She could never understand Tyler’s ability to render her speechless, nor his unfathomable forgiveness for someone like her.

She felt undeserving of it.

And yet, here she was, blessed with it anyway. 

It only felt right that she tried to explain herself to him again, actually open up and tell him what was going on in her head and why she was being so difficult today. Tyler’s already listened to her unfiltered thoughts countless times in the past, and not once had he mocked her for thinking differently or doing things the way she’s used to. 

Surely, this time wouldn’t be any different.

“You were just looking out for me,” Ashlyn shrugs, feeling a little proud at how casually the words came out. “If anything, I was the one being stubborn.” She says, pulling her legs to her chest and hugging them tight. “I should’ve just been honest from the beginning and told you I was scared of the ocean.”

“It wasn't even like I drowned or anything. I was five when my parents took me out to the sea, I got too close to the shore and nearly lost one of my slippers to the waves and I struggled to get it back. After that, I’ve been too scared to go anywhere near the ocean or any big bodies of water. It’s pretty stupid, huh?” She doesn’t miss the self-deprecating lilt in her own voice, but now that she’s finally said all there is to say, there’s a lightness in her chest that makes her feel almost lightheaded. 

Finally, she musters up enough courage to face him then, gaging his reaction.

There’s something like surprise that flashes across his eyes before it flickers to understanding. They lapse into silence. The waves that crash gently onto the shore are just loud enough to muffle the thumping of her heart, which she can taste at the back of her throat.

Tyler doesn’t push her for an explanation. 

“I think I’m scared of heights now.” He says instead of the hundred other things Ashlyn had been expecting him to say. “I didn’t mind it back then, I was even thinkin’ about rock climbing with a few of my teammates back then… But after falling off a cliff, well it’s been hard going anywhere above ground level.” 

“That’s… pretty awful.” She felt compelled to say, still reeling from being entrusted with such a personal piece of information. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner.”

“Not my point.” Tyler says, not unkindly. “Look, what I’m trying to say here is that you’re not stupid for being scared of the ocean. Everyone’s got their own set of fears regardless of their reason, and there’s no shame in that.” He shrugs like what he said was no big deal.

“Thanks, Ty.” She says, unable to comprehend the sheer comfort his words are able to give her, let alone how she was going to repay him for trusting her with such information. “And I’m sorry for making you open up about something so personal.” She whispers a little helplessly, because she doesn’t know what else to say, and then gives a choked gasp when she feels a pair of warm arms are suddenly wrapped around her from the side, pulling her close into an embrace that’s become wonderfully familiar over the years.

“There’s really nothing to apologize for, Carrots.” He whispers against her ear. “I wanted to tell you.”

Tyler's hug has always felt like a safety blanket. 

There's a sense of security and protection in the way he envelops others in his hugs. His solid presence and perpetual warmth acting as a barrier between her and the rest of the world. She leans into the hug, letting Tyler’s arms envelop her until her head’s safely tucked into the nook of his neck, breathing in the salty sea air and the scent of sunscreen on his skin.

She could get used to this, she thinks suddenly. To the sound of his heartbeat and the gentle ripples in the tide pool from the waves licking up the shore. 

They stay there long enough and not enough. The sun comes out from behind the clouds and in the next second, her stomach finally lurches to inform them both that she was finally hungry. 

“We should probably head back.” Tyler all but announces, unable to hide the knowing smirk on his lips.

It's all rather humiliating, but she takes Tyler’s offered hand and lets herself be pulled up from her spot. 

Before he could lead them back to join the others, she watches Tyler make his way to the shallow water, his feet wading through the tide pool until he stops to pick something up from the water.

He holds the item up in triumph, a boyish smile plastered on his face as he makes his way over to her.

“Here.” Tyler opens his hand and offers the item to her.

In his palm rests a small sea glass in the same shade as her eyes. It was oddly shaped, almost heart like from the chip in the middle. It was easily one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever given her.

“You’re really giving this to me?” She asks, unsure about receiving such a gift. 

“I already gave it to you didn’t I?” Tyler raised a pierced brow at her. 

Before she could try to reason with him, Tyler takes her free hand and starts leading her back to their spot to meet with the others.

He doesn’t stop holding her hand even when Taylor tackles the both of them in a fierce hug upon their arrival.

Everyone of their friends all have relieved, albeit concerned expressions on their faces, but before anyone could ask what had happened, Tyler ushers everyone back under the guise of a proper lunch, refusing to answer everyone’s question.

Once she was finally seated, he held out a plate of his homemade chicken wrap with a side of pasta salad, urging her to take it.

It’s just so like him to prioritize her growing hunger. She laughs, charmed.

“Thanks, Tyler.” She smiles, happy to accept the plate from him.

“You better finish it, Carrot-top.” Tyler warns, no real heat in his voice. “Seeing leftovers pisses me off.”

“I will, promise.” She snorts.

Lunch was a boisterous affair, with Aiden daring Ben and Logan to see who could eat more tortilla rollups in under five minutes, with Taylor offering to play referee. Tyler wanted nothing to do with them at that point, but he would still make sure everyone was eating and that their plates were always full of food.

It was difficult not to overeat at the face of Tyler’s phenomenal culinary skills. 

Once lunch was over, the rest of their friends slowly made their way back to the ocean, leaving her with Tyler once again.

“So, finally wanna tell me why you agreed to this trip in the first place?” Tyler asked, his gaze facing where the rest of their friends were. Half of their bodies are already submerged in the blue waves, and the sound of their laughter is audible even from far away.

The happiness etched onto their faces was unmistakable.

“I wanted to go.” Ashlyn shrugged, pointedly ignoring the scoff Tyler let out beside her. “Everyone was already so excited about going to the beach, it was hard not to say yes.”

“Pretty sure I already told you it was okay if ya wanted to go somewhere else, I wouldn’t mind.” Tyler points out.

“Yeah, then maybe you can take me somewhere else next time.” 

The words are out of her mouth before she can think about them and her face immediately warms.

Tyler barks out a laugh. “I’ll think about it, Carrot-top.”

It wasn’t the rejection she had been expecting, but the idea of going anywhere with Tyler still has her heart stuttering inside her chest.

The rest of the day was spent with the two of them sitting next to each other, quietly existing together in their shared space without a care in the world, their comfortable silence undisturbed save for the few moments where Tyler would ask her random, nonsensical questions to keep her mind occupied.

By the time they were finally packing their things away to head home, the sun was already beginning to set.

Upon the horizon, the warm afternoon light slowly blends into the evening. The sky above them was a beautiful mixture of reds and oranges, a brilliant display of vibrance before the sun finally slipped to the other side of the earth. 

“Ready to go home?” Tyler asks her.

She looks up at him, squinting against the sunset that hovers behind his head, its warm light casting a golden glow when it touches his hair.

Her heart skips a beat at the sight.

“Yeah.” She hears herself answer, her chest warming from Tyler’s answering smile.

The drive back home was a lot quieter in comparison when everyone’s completely passed out from over exertion. It came as no surprise to see everyone fast asleep by the time they reached the main road. From the rearview mirror, Ashlyn could spot Aiden and Taylor huddled together, the two sharing a blanket to try and fight against the cold of the pickup’s air conditioning. 

Quietly, Ashlyn snaps a photo of the two with Aiden’s digital camera, fighting off the laughter bubbling inside her chest once she sees what they looked like in the photo.

“Send me the photo later.” Tyler jokes, a playful smirk gracing his lips.

“You think Aiden wouldn’t notice?” Ashlyn wonders out loud.

“Doubt it, but from how many photos he took today, I wanna stay hopeful.” Tyler answers with a snort. 

Ashlyn takes the opportunity to look through the camera’s gallery, happy to skim through each photo her friends have taken from their trip. She spots a few blurred images of Aiden and Ben as they were chasing each other around by the shore, one of Logan and Taylor marveling at the sand castle they had built together, and then her eyes landed on a photo of her and Tyler. 

It was around the time after they'd gotten back from the tide pool, with the two of them huddled together, shoulders touching as they leaned on each other to watch the sunset. It was almost cinematic, the way their backs are turned to the camera, their faces hidden from view as the orange glow of the sun cascaded shadows on their figures, and yet she could easily picture the expression she was making at that exact moment.

In the next photo, the angle of the camera had shifted, giving the viewer a perfect view of Tyler’s side profile. The photo was a lot closer now, capturing every detail of his face, from his gaze that's unmistakably warm and content, coupled with the almost-fond smile playing on the corner of his lips. 

Tyler looked unmistakably handsome in the photo, and her heartbeat began to race against her chest upon the realization that he hadn’t been looking at the sunset at all.

He was looking at her.

She can feel her face heating up. 

It was impossible to look at him right now without giving herself away.

She stays silent the rest of the drive home, letting the sound of Ben’s playlist drown out the loud thumping of her heart as she tries to distract herself with the view outside the glass window. 

The sun has long since passed and the night sky is clear, allowing the moonlight to spill inside the car window. Stars grace the horizon and she traces each constellation she could spot with her fingers. Logan had been so excited to teach them what each one meant, and the memory of her friends hunched over his old telescope late into the evening tugs a small smile on her lips.

“We’re almost there.” Tyler announces before making a turn to Logan’s neighborhood. 

Slowly, each of their friends begin to rouse from their sleep as Tyler dutifully drops them off to their respective residence. 

It is touching seven o’clock by the time the car glides into her driveway. The front window, where the kitchen resides, glows dimly. It takes no time at all for the front lights to open, no doubt her dad is already waiting by the living room to greet her return.

Once the car has shuddered to a halt, Tyler retrieves her bags from the trunk. Though when he hands them over to her, she takes her time laying her things on the pavement in favor of looping her arms around his waist and drawing him in a tight hug.

She felt a shock jolt through his body, and for a single fleeting moment, she worried over her decision. But he doesn't let her dwell on her thoughts for long because in the next second, his arms are wrapping around her just as fiercely, his body leaning in to encase her in his protective warmth. 

“Thanks for today, Ty.” She breathes the words out, praying the sincerity in her voice is enough to convey the depth of her gratitude for him. 

“Sure thing, Ash.” He murmurs the words against her ear, voice impossibly fond. 

Eventually, they had to part ways and she offered him a soft smile of gratitude when he made his way back to the driver’s seat. 

Tyler rolls the window down to give her a lazy wave farewell before finally making his way out of her driveway. She watches the old pickup disappear from view before finally making her way back inside.

Later that evening, when she’s retired for the night, she finally mustered up enough energy to check her phone. 

The device had been vibrating all night from Aiden’s constant spam of messages in their groupchat, which she mostly skims through. The most recent chain of text messages were everyone talking about how much fun they had today and Ashlyn quickly sends them a sticker of a bunny nodding its head in agreement. 

She takes her time to backread the earlier messages, admiring some of the photos Aiden already managed to upload. 

She’d already gotten the photos she’d asked him for earlier and at the reminder of said photos, she wastes no time changing her lockscreens to the photos of her and Tyler.

She takes her time admiring the candid image before a text notification alerts her that Tyler had just sent her a text.

Curiously, she taps on the message to read the full text.

[23:45] ‘There’s a new record store close by, wanna check it out tomorrow and have lunch with me after?’

Ashlyn startles at the message, unable to hide her shock as she started at their chat in silence. She makes sure to read the text three times before deemeing it was in fact real and that she wasn’t making it up.

‘sure. what time?’ She types quickly before pressing send.

[23:47] ‘Early, so don’t even think about sleeping in.’

‘fine, but ur paying for lunch.’ She replies, amused by his bluntness more than anything.

[23:49] ‘Like I’d ask you to pay, what do you take me for, Carrots?’

‘ok, see u tomorrow lol.’ 

She watches as the small text bubble begins to move back and forth once more. It disappears before reappearing every few seconds the same way it did the last time they were texting this late at night.

It takes roughly five minutes before she gets her reply.

[23:54] ‘See you tomorrow, Ash.’

Her heart is racing by the time she’s read his last text, a part of her wishing more than ever that she could have seen the face he was making when he sent her the text.

Maybe she could ask him about it tomorrow.

‘Yeah, it’s a date.’ She replies amidst her racing heart and growing excitement.

The warmth growing inside her chest is new, but not entirely unfamiliar, it was a similar feeling to what she felt earlier as she watched the sunset with Tyler.

Placing her phone on the nightstand, she catches a glimpse of the small sea glass Tyler had given her and smiles.

She couldn’t wait for tomorrow.