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When I was younger, I saw
My daddy cry, and curse at the wind
He broke his own heart and I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that she would
Never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist
But darling, you are the only exception
It was one of their usual movie nights, spent watching everything the internet had to offer.
They had just returned from an intense week on a mission, and Bob had missed everyone terribly.
So he'd suggested a rewatch of all the Twilight films before the jet even touched down, boxes of sushi and burgers already ordered for everyone.
Bucky had politely declined, taken his order, and retired to his room. Alexei had managed to last approximately until the end of New Moon before falling into a deep enough sleep to wake Alpine, who was perched in the armchair that usually belonged to her master. He'd been promptly sent away for excessive snoring.
Popcorn bowls and sodas of all kinds had been distributed among the four remaining members.
Ava and Yelena sat comfortably on the largest couch, a warm blanket covering them both as Ava commented on the scenes and openly declared herself being Team Edward, while Yelena giggled at every ridiculous scene and argued how she was definitely Team Jacob.
These were Bob's favorite nights. Him, junk food, some stupid movie to watch on the TV, and his favorite people to laugh with.
He'd never had any of this. His house had always been full of screams and broken dishes.
His mother could only give him a little love when she was well, and that wasn't as often as he'd liked.
But here, Bob truly felt at home. Curled up like a cat against John, his John, the two of them in one of the recliners next to the girls.
John who loved him despite everything, John who loved him despite his manias and depressive episodes. John who laughed with him when he was well and held his hand when he was sick.
John, who would steal the moon and the stars for him.
“I don’t think that’s a comfortable position for your neck” Ava said, raising an eyebrow.
“Why?” Yelena said, "He's an indestructible demigod, he definitely won't be in pain tomorrow morning."
"I can hear you anyway," Bob replied, one eye half-open while the other was closed by John's chest.
He was in a happy dreamland at that moment. Pressed against John's chest, the slow, steady sound of his heart lulling him, John's right hand in the hair at the nape of his neck or on his hip, and his lips occasionally kissing his forehead.
He had missed him like the air, and that absence sometimes frightened him.
He was afraid of losing him, of finding himself alone against the world. Afraid of not making it, of having no one in his corner ready to support him.
"I love you," he said, impetuously, to a sleepy John. He was convinced John was asleep; he had been still for so long.
"i love you too, baby," John said instead, his lips on his forehead again.
The Ending Credits of Breaking Dawn Part Two appeared on the screen.
"Okay, it's two in the morning," Yelena said. "I'm exhausted."
"Yes, me too," Ava replied. "I can hear the bed calling me."
"Yes, it wasn't an easy mission," John said. "Hon, it's time for bed."
"I'm fine here," Bob said. "I'm on top of you. No need to move. God knows how many naps you've had up here."
"Babe, it's two in the morning," John tried to persuade him.
"I'm sleepy," Bob said. "My legs aren't working."
"Okay, I get it," John said. "You're lucky you're cute."
He quickly slipped out from under him and picked him up. Bob's head found John's chest almost immediately.
"Can you help me?" John asked, chuckling. “My hands are a little full.”
“You spoil him too much, Walker” Yelena said. “He won’t want to leave you.”
“That will never happen, Lena,” Bob replied.
“I like spoiling him,” John said. “That’s how I keep him close.”
“You’ll see, Lena,” Ava said, putting their dirty dishes in the kitchen. “Sooner or later we’ll get a wedding invitation from these two.”
“Oh, sure,” Lena said, pressing the elevator button. “And please, Bob, no pastel colors for our bridesmaid dresses.”
“Oh sure,” Bob said. “You can wear whatever you want. You’ll look the hottest in a black tuxedo.”
“Why are you talking about our wedding?” John asked, “We’ve only been together for a year.”
“Oh, we know you’ve already thought about it at least a couple of times, Walker,” Yelena said.
“And I’m sure if you look in Bob’s journal, you’ll find ‘Robert Walker’ or ‘Mr. and Mr. Walker’ written at least a million times,” Ava added.
When they reached the floor with their bedrooms, the girls said their goodbyes.
“Good night, guys,” Ava said.
“Good night, Bobert, have so many dreams about being a damned desperate housewife for this guy,” Yelena added, opening the door for him. “Night, Walker.”
“Do you really want to get married someday?” John said, surprised.
He placed him on the bed as if he were the most fragile thing in the world, leaving a kiss on the tip of his nose.
For the first time in his life, the idea of marrying someone didn’t seem so terrifying to Bob.
“Why not?” Bob said, "And then who knows, maybe I'll be the one to do it."
"Okay, let's talk about it in a few years," John said, climbing under the covers. He hugged him again, before adding, "I'm fine with this for now."
And Bob agreed with him.
Maybe I know somewhere
Deep in my soul, that love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now, I had sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk
Well, you are the only exception
John liked to build things, usually out of wood. It was one of the few things his father had taught him when he was little.
Keeping his hands busy calmed him and cleared his mind.
When he still lived with Olivia, he had a small workbench in the garage where he spent hours building things. Even his son's crib was his work.
It was usually one of the few moments he was alone, truly alone, Olivia too resentful with him to even let him know when dinner was ready.
But he didn't care. He was used to being alone now, ever since Lemar had passed away.
Then came the divorce, and his small workbench was dismantled along with his things.
He hadn't touched a single piece of wood in years; his studio apartment was too small for this hobby. The most he could do was put up a few shelves.
But now Bob was in his life. Bob would read while he worked on his things, just because he didn't want to leave him alone and wanted to spend time with him.
The Watchtower was constantly expanding, with many floors still unbuilt and empty rooms with no purpose.
It was on his first birthday as a Thunderbolt, the infamous Fortys, that he got a surprise.
He still didn't know how, but Bob had managed to convince Valentina to let John use one of the spare rooms for his hobby, and had a full-fledged carpentry workshop built for him. The girls had helped him, and Bucky and Alexei had helped by carrying the heaviest things.
No one had ever done anything like this for him.
The other team members were constantly making requests for things they needed. Bucky and Alexei had simply requested some shelves, one for the few books he had brought from his apartment in Washington, and the other for his gadgets and memorabilia as the best soldier in great Mother Russia.
The girls and Bob had the most requests. They too had started with simple shelves for their rooms, but John had taken it too far.
And so, for her birthday, Lena had received a desk with a mirror in some beautiful black wood.
"I’ve put some plastic dividers in the drawers so you can put your makeup in them" John had said, opening one.
There was also a mirror with LED lights.
"Oh, he's being modest," Bob said. "He put the lights in himself, and he even made these beautiful inlays. I think he learned it from some YouTube tutorial."
Lena hugged him, her head barely reaching his chest.
"Mark it on the calendar, Walker," he said. "But I love you."
Ava, on the other hand, loved painting and was actually quite good at it. She claimed it relaxed her, calmed her down.
For her birthday, she received a set of easels and a rolling cart to hold all his drawing materials.
“Who would have thought?” said Ava. “John Walker can be kind sometimes”
Bob's gift, after sending John several videos, was a reading nook like the ones you see on TikTok. He even enlisted Bucky and Alexei's help.
"You're sleeping every night with me anyway," John said. "You only use your room for reading."
"And for playing Mario Kart," Bob said. "Thanks,baby . And I'm sorry for bothering you with all those videos."
The truth is, he would have rebuilt the entire fucking New York public library if Bob had asked.
Speaking of the devil, John was busy finishing a couple more shelves to add to Bob's library when his adorable boyfriend appeared in the doorway.
"Hi baby, do you have a moment for me?"
He was wearing one of his sweatshirts, one of the few mementos from his time at West Point, his hair pulled back in a ponytail, a bag, and a couple of Starbucks cups in his hand.
“Hi, hun. I'm using some really loud stuff. I don't think this is the right place to read.”
“No, the girls and I went to Starbucks,” Bob said. “I thought you might need a coffee; you've been stuck in here all afternoon. I also got you one of those blackberry muffins you like. In fact, I have a little request if you're not working on other projects.”
“No, I'm finishing up these shelves for you,” John said. “Don't think I saw you bringing home even more books, mister ; your bookshelf was full again. I thought you needed space.”
“I always need space for my books,” Bob said, laughing. “But it's not for me.”
“Let's hear it,” John said.
“Well, earlier I was out on the balcony reading. Getting some sun, like you always tell me” Bob said.
“Nice to know you listen to me sometimes.”
“Okay,” said Bob. “There were a lot of little birds fighting over my muffin crumbs. I thought it would be nice to put up a little house for them.”
“Oh, it’s not difficult,” said John. “I can do it in a couple of days if we don’t have any urgent missions.”
“Well, can I show you the project I found online?” Bob asked, taking out his phone.
“Sure,” said John.
When John got to work, Bob sat on a stool in the corner, his cup of tea firmly in his hands.
“What are you doing?” John asked.
“You’re always here alone, I’m keeping you company,” said Bob. “And besides, you know I like watching you work.”
This earned Bob a kiss on the lips.
“You’re staying there, okay?” John said, “I don't want to risk hurting you like last time, just because you want to hug me.”
“But you're so cute, covered in sawdust.”
Bob took a sip of his tea and let John go back to work, his face red.