Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nicktoons vs I.M.P.

Location: Retroville 

Ah, the city of Retroville! It was a nice, Autumn day in a nice town full of nice people and home of boy genius, Jimmy Neutron! The boy scientist was flying around in his jetpack laughing, Timmy Turner flew alongside him using his magic jetpack that emitted pink and green flames. 

“Race ya to the Sugar Bowl, FudgeHead!”

Timmy teased, soaring through the city as he flew circles around buildings. Jimmy smirked and chased after him.

“Not if I get there, first, Turner!”

“Or us!” Danny shouted, he flew right past Jimmy laughing with SpongeBob whom he was carrying. The boys were almost at the candy shop, only to all gasp in horror to see a giant, dark-blue robot spider outside of the place. The robot had the VoxTech logo on its forehead and was targeting our main hero's as it was programmed to do.

“Targets sighted, must eliminate hero's.”

The robot would proceed to extend plasma-made buzzsaws, stepping on something green, furry, and now oozing blood that probably doubled as corn syrup. A yellow rabbit in slippers and a blue skunk girl wearing an air freshener saw the gory sight then ran away screaming in horror as did the rest of the citizens.

“Uh-oh, another robot spider out to get us!”

Timmy exclaimed, he wished for his Star-Blaster then Cosmo turned into a green ray gun in the boy's hands.

“Oh no! That mean robot crushed that poor, green squirrel with the candy in its fur!” Cosmo said horrified at seeing the gruesome sight.

“Revenge!” Wanda yelled.

The robot would extend its buzzsaw arms towards the gang but Danny used his ectoplasmic energy blast to destroy them. Jimmy would get out his raygun and fly around the robot's legs, blasting two of them off while Timmy used his Star-Blaster to shoot magic stars at the robots face, blowing its metal casing off and revealing its exposed circuits. Wanda would transform into a giant bucket of water that Danny dropped SpongeBob inside of, the sponge would grow in size absorbing up all the water.

“Bath delivery…BLAAAAAARRRRG!”

The absorbent frycook blasted a giant stream of water at the robot, the water got into its circuits and completely started frying it causing it to twitch out rapidly until it exploded! The robot was then left a smoking pile of metal that Wanda cleaned up by poofing up a giant recycling bin that she filled with what was left of the robot before teleporting it to the recycling center.

“Always remember to clean up after every battle, boys.”

“Indeed…”, an anthropomorphic vulture dressed as an undertaker of the Wild West said, shoveling lime colored squirrel carcass off the asphalt and into a black Victorian styled horse drawn hearse(labeled on the side as “Rick R. Morris Western Styled Funeral Services; “Mosy on to Boot Hill on the right foot!”.

Five minutes later…

The quartet was inside the candy store eating some chocolate cake together, that was the tenth time a robot came out of nowhere to attack at least one or more of them. The first two times the gang had to beat some drones that were stalking Timmy, after that in the worlds they've visited such as Tremerton, Miracle City, Great Lakes City, Hillwood, Nearburg, Ocean Shores and Royal Woods. 

“Gah, these things are becoming a handful…” Danny complained, rubbing his wrists. “I’m starting to get carpal tunnel from how many blasts I have to throw at those overgrown toys!”

“There’s a tunnel for carpooling in your wrists?” SpongeBob asked.

“And these robots don't seem to be from any of our enemies.” Jimmy mentioned, all these attack bots had a similar color scheme and style to them, each one had the same logo on them. The boy genius had drawn the VoxTech logo on a napkin, he looked at it just wondering what it meant.

“This must be a new kind of threat that wants us eliminated for some reason.”

“Maybe the Syndicate is using the power of friendship…as a WEAPON!”, SpongeBob said in fear.

“NO! Not the power of friendship! They wouldn’t have to pay so much for their electric bills!” Cosmo cried.

“Well in case more evil robots try attacking, we'll have to let some of our reinforcements like Tak or Jenny Wakeman know about whatever it is.” Danny suggested. 

Wanda was just devouring her slice of chocolate cake, licking icing left on her face.

“Mmmm! We may not know who's behind these bots, but I do know this chocolate cake is good!”

“Would you all like some milkshakes?” Said a blonde waiter lady, she held a tray of milkshakes and set it onto the teams table.

“We'd love some! Thanks, ma'am.”

Jimmy said, paying the lady with money that the waiter kindly took. She walked away and went outside as her shift was done. While she made sure nobody was watching, she got out an asmodian crystal as she transformed out of her human form, revealing herself as a succubus then used her crystal to open up a portal then goes through it.

 Location: VoxTech Building, Pride Ring, Hell, Medrano Valley

The succubus came inside her boss’ office through the portal, she'd go up to his desk and tell him about the recent failure of the Vox-o-rachnid Mark 4. 

“Oh, big surprise! Shithead, Beaver Bitch, Deadass and Piss Brick break another mech!” Vox complained. “Tell me what I don’t know, SHIT FOR BRAINS!”

“That you're wasting our resources trying to destroy three kids and a sponge?” the succubus said passive aggressively as Vox’s TV made a loud game show style buzzer noise.

“WRONG! Those assholes have the look in their eyes that says—“, the TV demon then changed his voice to sound like a pint-sized Kevin Clash. “‘I can destroy a god with the power of friendship and being myself!’.”, then changed his voice back. 

“And have you SEEN the eyes on that mustard soaked TAMPON SLAB!?”

“Yes, yes I have.”

“I am trying to expand my EMPIRE…”, Vox explained. “And those four sea salt soaked FRUITCAKES have broken every mech so far. If I can’t ride beyond this HELLSCAPE before Princess Redemption turns Pentagram City into one BIG FUCKING DAYCARE, THEN I’LL—They fight! And bite! They fight and bite and fight!“

Then the overlord’s screen then started to show some cartoon called "Itchy and Scatchy”, as he then realized he stepped on a TV remote…he pawed around on the floor to grab it, then changed the channels showing on his head.

“In other news, the Rochon Memorial Bridge was reopened today after—“, news…

“This Vulpix’s Ice typing keeps it from overheating in the Alolan sun—”, nature documentary…

“Stop right there, galactic scum, and eat lasers!” an episode of Crash Nebula…

“I don’t think so, Tim.”, some weird show called Tool Time…then back to the usual Vox face.

“Don’t ever connect one of THESE to me…”, Vox said, crushing the remote in his head.

“I'll try to keep that in mind, sir.” The succubus said before walking off to do her usual work. 

Later, Vox would be in a meeting room with the other Vee's having coffee 

“How can four little living chicos without a soul to their names take on your mechs, cariño?” Val said. “They’re only human…”

“Better question, what the fuck is this!?”, Velvet asked, holding a photo of SpongeBob. ”What part of earth has people covered in piss yellow fungus? Guess things really went to shit after I died…”

"You don't get it, this group can't be normal.”

Vox growled, squeezing a stress toy trying to calm down. “It's the tenth time those brats have trashed my creations, and I'm running out of ideas.”

“Hm, well, there’s this…” Valentino said as he pulled out an ad from underneath his wings. “I've heard about these three little imps that are very good at making mortals…dissappear.”

Vox held the ad and gave it a quick read. “Mmm, ruthless, effective and it'll be free if the kill takes longer than 25 minutes?...perfect.”

The TV demon smirked a toothy, evil grin before getting on the phone to make a quick call.

Location: I.M.P. Building/Imp City

“Immediate Murder Professionals, kids die for free, the fuck you want?”, Loona said, answering the phone. “…DAD! Some fuckwad named Vox has got a job for you!”

Blitzø kicks open the door to his office and instantly runs to grab the phone after hearing his(adoptive)daughter mention the name of a well known overlord. The imp grabbed the phone and tried to sound professional.

“Hello, how can I serve you, my good man?”

“Yea is this Blitzø? I've been having a group of meddlers that have been a pain in my ass and I need them killed immediately!”

“That's in our name, sir! Describe who these assholes look like and we'll make'em go splat!”

The imp gets out a notepad and paper, Vox would give a detailed description of SpongeBob, Timmy, Danny and Jimmy, along with the usual locations they're typically around in. Blitzø wrote all this down along with crude little doodles of the main four. “Pleasure doing business with you, sir! Byeeeee!”

Blitzø hung up the phone then called over to Moxxie and Millie for their biggest hit ever.

“M&M! We got a hit ordered by Vox himself! If we pull this off then maybe we'll get a big reward?”

“Our business could get more promotion!” Moxxie said excitedly, the imp's beloved wife welded her favorite axe with a bloodthirsty grin. 

“And that means I can finally do this!” Blitzø said, pulling a rope as a banner unfurled, revealing it reading “OWR FUR2T OVAERLURRD!!!” as several multicolored balloons floated down to the floor. 

“I had that set up eight years ago. And who’s saying it’s retarded now, Moxxie? …huh, that’s funny. Those hot dancers were supposed to show up.”

The imp then felt up the wall, then finally feeling what he wanted, opening a door hidden by the wallpaper as some imp skeletons dressed in tattered/rotten Chippendales dancer uniforms spilled out onto the floor.

“Oh…there they are…anyway, let's get to work! C'mon, Loonie, I wanna have ya be around for this grand milestone in I.M.P. history!”

“Eh, sure I guess.” the hellhound shrugged, looking a tad bit excited for their biggest job ever. Blitzø then used his Asmodian Crystal to open up a portal, smirked a sharp toothy grin and said…

“Let's fuck those fuckers up!”

"YEA IT'S MILLIE TIME!"

"DAMNIT MILLIE, WHAT DID I SAY? ONLY I GET THE ONE-LINERS!"

TO BE CONTINUED 

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Location: Retroville Park

Jimmy, Timmy and Spongebob were all happily bouncing in a giant bouncy house the size of a mansion while Danny was relaxing beneath the shade of a tree. Cosmo was taking the form of a human and tossed a frisbee(or a “small plastic disc that you throw”)for Wanda(who was in the form of a dog). Spongebob laughs bouncing around in the bouncy living room, he was headed towards Jimmy and Timmy then high fives them both before falling out of the bouncy structure and landed perfectly next to Poof who was taking the form of a grill. 

The sponge would whip out his spatula then started flipping Krabby Patties while whistling ”The F.U.N. Song”. 

“Aah, now this is a good day to relax! Bouncing in a bouncy mansion and cooking patties!” 

Spongebob quickly assembled a Krabby Patty and flipped it over to Danny.

“Think fast, Fenton!”

The teenager held out his plate and caught the sandwich before starting to chow down on it. “As always, you make a fine burger, buddy.”

“Do I smell burgers?” Timmy said as he and Jimmy jumped out of the bouncy mansion, landed in the seats of a picnic table where Cosmo and Wanda sat. Spongebob served them up their Krabby Patties and told them to enjoy their meals, it seemed like everything was doing perfectly fine…for now. 

Elsewhere, a portal from Hell opened up in an alleyway, scaring away a meerkat and warthog that were digging in a nearby trash can. Blitzø and the gang jumped out from the portal, now transformed into the early 2000's CGI styled universe. “Holy crap something about this place fee-HOLY SATAN’S DICK, MOXXIE!”

Blitzø pointed at his employee looking in horror at his new 3D form before freaking out noticing his arm was also 3D. All the others were also freaking out seeing each other in CGI.

“Why are we all so bulgy?!" Millie said as she shook her hips.

“Did something go wrong when the portal opened up?” Moxxie said, twirling around looking at his new form. then pulling on his tail a bit. 

“Are we just really high?” Loona believed, but she didn't remember taking any substances before the mission.

“I dunno, I followed one of the coordinates Vox gave me. And boy, was it a duck toon of commas…” Blitzø got out the notepad with the doodles of the targets and told Loona to sniff them out. The hellhound sniffed the drawings then started sniffing out for the Nicktoons.

“Why do I smell sea salt, magic and ectoplasm?”

“How do you know what magic or ectoplasm smells like?” Moxxie asked.

“With all the weird ass applicants trying to get a job recently, I’ve probably proven everything else from ghosts to Abath to Ziz exists…”

“Let's just go out and hunt the mortals unlucky enough to get chopped by Millie!” Millie said excitedly. Loona would transform into her human disguise, then lead the gang over to the way of the city park while avoiding citizens. Blitzø found a big cardboard box left out in the open then got a lightbulb above his head, he picked up the box and put it over his and his employees heads so that nobody would see the trio of demons. Blitzø then used his claws to cut open eye holes for him to be able to see. “Hehe, absolutely fool proof!”

“Sir, I don't think people will fall for this.” 

Moxxie tied his boss.

“Good afternoon, pretty lady!” Sheen said to Loona as he walked by, then he'd notice the moving cardboard box and happily pets it. “I like your pet cardboard box, it’s so adorable!”

“...Thanks?” Loona said in utter disbelief by the fact that her father's poorly made disguise worked before heading off. Back with the Nicktoons, they were all roller skating around together. Timmy with Cosmo and Wanda as his skates with Poof as his helmet. The buck toothed kid used his magical skate gear to ride off of a ramp and flew up in the air doing impossible flips as he left behind trails of pink, green and purple fairy dust.

“Woooo! Nice moves, Timmy!” Spongebob said, applauding for his friend before showing off some moves of his own. The frycook would jump into the air twirling around like a ballerina before making a clean landing. 

“Now watch me do the Grouchy Cindy!”

“Stop naming moves after me!” Cindy Vortex shouted while she was walking her dog, annoyed by Spongebob naming moves after her. 

“Everybody's an idiot but me!” Spongebob morphed his face to look like Cindy, ponytail and everything.

“Well it's true.” the blonde girl responded.

Loona peeks out from behind a tree, Moxxie, Millie and Blitz each popped out from the tree's bushes, all using binoculars to spy on them. 

“Those are our target's, fellas.”

Blitzø gets out a stick of TNT then lights it with a lighter.

“I'm going for the dancing yellow guy!”

The imp threw the TNT at the sponge, it landed right into his pocket while he was standing near the grill like nothing bad was happening.

“Sniff! sniff! Hey, what's that smell? Smells like a lit stick of TNT.”

BOOM! 

Spongey yellow bits were now everywhere, Spongebob's eyes and mouth landing next to Timmy who picked them up looking worried. “Woah! Spongebob are you—”

“Okay? Bayayaya! I'm feeling alright, just broken up is all.”

The Immediate Murder Professionals jaws dropped seeing the sponge reassemble himself, this was going to be harder than they thought. 

“What the hell?! That's not fair!” Blitzø whispered, in frustration.

“Mabye we could skip this hit?” Moxxie said nervously. “I mean four of them are just kids and-”

“And risk pissing off Vox himself?” Millie interrupted her husband, putting her hand on his mouth.

“If you're not comfortable with this one then take on the yellow cube, well take on the rest, AMBUSH!” 

Millie got on all fours and charged at the Nicktoons with her sharpened claws while the others but Moxxie followed suit before he could make an argument. Poof(still as Timmy's helmet)noticed the incoming demons and started to warn the others in a panic. “Poof Poof! Poof!”

“Eeek! Monsters and a random lady!” 

SpongeBob turned around, pointing at the demons. Cosmo and Wanda thought fast and used magic to poof up a wall in the three demons' way as they crashed right into, then fell like playing cards. 

“OW! What the fuck?”

Blitzo yelled, rubbing his head in pain.

“No random walls gonna stop us from this hit!” Millie growled, jumping into the air and dive-bombing at the Nicktoons. Spongebob suddenly switched into his karate gear and jumped up at the imp, countering her attack with his karate glove.

“Hi-Ya!” The Sponge and imp then got into a karate battle with each other, Millie threw a pair of daggers at him which sliced him in half, but the sponge parts would regenerate and created two Spongebobs. Millie looked flabbergasted and gasped at her opponents abilities.

"Why won't you DIE? dammit!"

"Uuuuhhh...we dunno? Bayayaya!" The clones laughed before fusing back together the karate kicks Millie hard enough it flung her right into a tree hole. Spongebob then tirls around like a tornado and was coming straight twords her. The southern assassin pulled her head out of the tree then ran at Spongebob like a mad dog,  the two making a giant cartoon fight cloud as they impacted eachother.

Blitzø pulled out a 1950’s-style chainsaw(labeled as “ACME Beaver Tooth-n-Tail Chainsaw” on the blade)from inside his jacket and revved it up.

“Leapin’ Atoms!” Jimmy shouted, getting out an extending boxing glove gadget and triggering it, the boxing glove came straight at Blitzø, the imp sent flying into another tree and the chainsaw now lodged in the ground. 

“Just who are you freaks?” Danny said as he went into his ghost form, ectoplasmic energy flowing through his hands. 

“Immediate Murder Professionals, numb nuts, we've been hired to exterminate you four!” Loona said, transforming into her hellhound form.

“Or I.M.P. for short!” Moxxie added.

“Hahaha! I.M.P.? What kind of stupid name is that?” Timmy laughed.

“Oh, you’re fucking dead, beaver bitch!” Blitzø yelled, pulling out a cardboard tube reading “ACME All-American Roman Candle” on the side.

“Try and catch me, sucker!” Timmy said as he sped in circles with his magic skate gear then wished for his outfit he used to fight Crocker when he had the Magic Fairyversary Muffin, his faires poofing him in his white Santa's magic sack cloak, magic jetpack equipped with Cupid’s arrows and exploding Easter eggs.

“What the…?” Blitzø was still lighting the Roman candle.

“Happy Easter, bad dude!” Timmy started throwing explosive Easter eggs at the imp.

Blitzø would get blown away by the explosion and land into a pond. “Gah! Fuck! Now I know what Stolas’ shit tastes like!”

Timmy then flies in his jetpack and gets out his magic tooth floss, he flies around Blitzø then ties him up.

Loona tried slashing her claws at Danny, but he would turn intangible, thus the hellhound's attacks would just phase right through him. “Grrrr! C'mon stop being a pussy and fight!”

“Okay, but only because you asked.” Danny said in a smug tone before hitting Loona with an ectoplasmic blast, sending her flying over towards Jimmy. The boy genius would use his size ray to turn himself to the size of an elephant! Loona was knocked into Jimmy's shoes, she rubbed her head groaning then looked scared as she saw the giant Jimmy.

“Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh….maybe we can talk about this?”

“Mmmm, nah.” Jimmy flicks Loona over at the pond, where Timmy lassos her with the tooth floss. 

“Alright, now who sent you guys to attack us?” Timmy questioned the hellhound and imp. The demons refused to answer the kid, knowing that Vox would be mad at them for spilling the beans.

Millie was now wrestling with SpongeBob, having him in a headlock while Moxxie slightly stepped in, cheering for his wife. 

“C'mon Millie, you can get'em!”

“I'm trying my best but he's so squishy and soft!” Millie grunted, trying to get ahold of the sponge who just kept laughing.

“This is fun! You're really good at fighting, miss!” Spongebob complimented the imp.

“Oh uh thanks?”

 Millie replied, appreciating the compliment while slightly looking confused. Spongebob squeezes himself free from the imps headlock.

“You're welcome! I'd love to talk more, but I can't let my friends be in danger, sooooooo…Woo-Loo-Loo-Loo-Loo-Loo!”

Spongebob let out a battle cry before charging at Millie, Moxxie stood by his wife with his gun then the duo started shooting at SpongeBob. The sponge jumps upwards into the air, dodging the bullets,as he was morphing and stretching doing his special bubble blowing technique. He then blew a bubble in the shape of a giant chimp with a golf club…

“AHHHH! It’s a giant monkey!" Millie yelled.

“Chimp, dear.” Moxxie corrected. “Chimps have no tails.”

The bubble chimp hit the married couple into the air, the duo holding each other screaming in fear.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!”

Before they could hit the ground, SpongeBob breaks their fall with a living bubble that traps them inside by swallowing them whole. Millie stopped screaming and opened her eyes, happy to be alive.

“Moxxie, stop screaming, we ain’t dead!”

“Aaaahhh…H-huh? Oh thank Satan!”

The bubble would float over to Blitzø and Loona, swallowing them as the Nicktoons gathered together looking at the assassins with stern looks.

“Okay, we'll ask again, tell us who sent you guys?” Jimmy demanded.

“You ain't getting shit from us!” Loona growled, but Jimmy got out his hypno-ray and used it on the hellhound, who’s eyes started swirling. 

“Okay, now tell us who hired you guys?”

“The demon overlord of technology, Vox.” Loona said while hypnotized.

“Jesus fuck, Loona! Tell them my credit card number next, why don’t ya!?”, Blitzø yelled.

“That’s all the info I needed.” Jimmy said, putting the hypno-ray away. Loona shook her head, dazed and confused about what just happened.

“Uuugh, what the heck was that?”

“Alright, time to send you guys back to whatever universe ya came from.”

Jimmy gets out his multiversal remote and scans the four of them.

“Wait! Please, if Vox finds out we failed, then we'll be punished!” Moxxie pleads, the demons all did look pretty terrified, unaware of what punishment they could receive from the Vee's. Spongebob gave a sympathetic frown, the yellow cube couldn't help but feel bad.

“Oh geeze.” Danny said, noticing Spongebob's expression.

“I know that look on your face, SpongeBob.”

The sponge shows his puppy dog eye's, the others tried to resist his stare but it was just too effective. Soon, Timmy gave in and groaned with annoyance so he whispered a wish to Cosmo and Wanda and the two raised their wands and did something to Loona's phone. The hellhound noticed it ringing then checked on it, she saw a video sent to her of fake footage of her and I.M.P. winning the fight.

“There! Just show your boss that footage and he'll think you did a good job.” Timmy grumbled, crossing his arms and looking away.

“You're just lucky SpongeBob was here to convince me, but next time we're not gonna be so generous.”

SpongeBob hugs Timmy, happy for his choice. “Oh you did such a nice thing,Timmy!”

“Yea, yea I'm a real peach.”

“Wait but how did you fake this footage?” Loona asked, visibly confused by the kind act.

“Are you some kind of wizard?”

“Internet.” 

Timmy replied.

“That doesn't make any se-”

Before Loona could further question the kid's explanation, Jimmy used the device to teleport the demons back to the Hellaverse.

“Well, before I go do some research on this Vox character, let's continue our day off.” Jimmy said, then suggested what everybody else wanted to do today? Spongebob raised his hand and asked if they could go jellyfishing. “How's that sound to you guys?”

“Eh, I could.” 

Danny shrugged 

“Sure! I always wanted to try it out!”

Timmy said excitedly.

“Me and Cosmo are up for jellyfishing!”

Wanda turns into a jellyfish and floats around in the air.

 “Jellyfishing it is then! To Bikini Bottom!”

Jimmy then uses the device to open up a portal to Bikini Bottom as Cosmo poofs up aquatic suits for everybody but Danny, who could breathe underwater in his ghost form. 

Location: Jellyfish Fields 

Cosmo and Wanda took the forms of Bikini Bottom fish and were both chasing after Poof as a jellyfish. Timmy was swimming around and caught three jellyfish with a net, Danny flew around catching seven of them, SpongeBob was just making some jellyfish jelly toast and Jimmy was just studying the different variants of the creatures.

“Aah, now this is the definition of relaxation.” Jimmy said happily, as he got out his portable super computer and tried doing an analysis on the universe I.M.P. came from. He would read about Hell and the basics about how it works along with info about Charlie Morningstar. Jimmy had Charlie and her Hotel on his computer bookmarks for a while, for the princess of demons she seemed to have noble goals. He then searched up Vox's name and the screen showed a bio of the demon in question.

Vox: Overlord of Technology 

A TV headed, humanoid sinner demon that sells technology all over the Pentagram of the Pride Ring.

“Hmm, technology overlord, but why would he want me and the others dead? Unless…”

Jimmy started theorizing in his head, could this guy be the one sending out all these evil robots out on the other worlds? If so, why is he even trying to send out evil drones to other realities? Whatever it was, it definitely couldn’t be good. Might have to keep tabs on whatever activities this guy is usually up to, maybe he can contact the princess sometime?

THE END