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Hella Gay

Summary:

Though no one knows how or why, at midnight on a person’s 16th birthday, they get writing on their wrist, almost like a tattoo. This writing, whatever it says, has something to do with your soulmate. It’s usually something like the first thing they say to you after it appears, or an inside joke you two will have, maybe a phrase they say a lot. Simply a push in the right direction, fate’s little nudge-nudge wink-wink about what future you have in store. This is the story of what happened on Matsukawa Issei's 16th birthday.

 

ALTERNATIVELY TITLED: Will you be my number one meme?

Notes:

*everyone asks for YakuLev and Kuroken*
*gives you MatsuHana*
*sweats nervously*
I COULDN'T NOT O K
I couldn't ignore the meme kings I love them too much and they need more attention <3
Hope you enjoy!

 

EDIT: SOMEONE HAD ALERTED ME THAT I MESSED UP ON THE BIRTHDAY ORDER S O R R Y I HAD THEM SWITCHED IN MY NOTES

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Matsukawa Issei is hella gay. This is not news to anyone. He was always the one kid who knew ever since he was little that he was 'different' than the other kids, just like in the movies. So, he figured that he and his soulmate would meet in a similarly cheesy, romance-movie scene, probably on or after his birthday. That was before he met Hanamaki Takahiro.

It was in homeroom, a week into the school year, and the teacher was sick, so an old substitute teacher was playing a movie that the students had voted on. Matsukawa can't exactly remember what the movie was, since he didn't care. At all. However, he happened to snap out of his fantasy about being Anywhere But Here™ to hear the lines being said by the main character.

"I'm tired and hungry and horny." She was groaning, splayed across the screen in sweatpants and unbrushed hair.

"Same." He had said in monotone, only to blink in shock at the boy diagonal from him that had said the same thing at the same time. The boy, from what he could remember, was an okay student, talking a little in class, but doodled constantly in his notebook. Said boy turned around in surprise, giggling slightly, and Matsukawa was usually in control of his gay thoughts, but hot damn. He was cute, and anyone who could pull off pink hair was attractive in his book. Remembering that, yeah, he should probably DO SOMETHING, he chuckled along with the boy. Then, sealing his coffin, the boy winked at him.

Fucking winked.

This was unfair.

'Two can play at that game, pinky,' Matsukawa thought, and sent finger guns in the boy's direction, who in turn snorted. He would have continued to semi-flirt with cute-pink-haired boy, but the sub cleared his throat meaningfully and looked pointedly at them. He then realized that there were other people in this room (who looked hilariously uncomfortable at their exchange). He looked at cute-pink-haired boy with a wry smile, and the boy returned it, mouthing 'later'. Matsukawa flashed him a grin and went back to staring off into the void until the bell rang. He sauntered up to the boy, who was doodling on his notebook, apparently deaf to the bell. Matsukawa looked over his shoulder and peeked at the drawing. It was a picture of a clearly-handsome guy, but his face was marred, as his hair was being ruffled by an angry guy. Realization hit him, and he snorted, causing cute-pink-haired boy to turn around in confusion.

"Is... Is that Oikawa and Iwaizumi?" Matsukawa asked, having seen the two both inside of class and handing out flyers for Aoba Jousai's volleyball club. The drawing was very accurate to real life, and the artist smirked.

"Hell yeah it is."

"Nice."

"This could be the start of something beautiful. I'm Hanamaki Takahiro." Cute-pink-haired boy said, his grin similar to that of a Cheshire cat.

"Matsukawa Issei." He said, grinning in return. From then on, the two were practically inseparable, and it was ridiculous how much they had in common. ‘Holy shit I love memes so much’, ‘I love donuts to death but they give me terrible stomach aches’, and ‘Volleyball is my lifeblood and you play it too?’. Matsukawa joked that they were meant to be, and he was pleasantly surprised to figure out that Hanamaki didn’t think that was weird.

He had even come out to Hanamaki, two weeks, give or take, after they met, and that went the best it’s ever went when he came out to someone.

“Hey, Hanamaki?” He had said, a little nervously as they were walking home from school (they had figured out they actually live quite close, it was weird that they hadn’t run into each other before). Hanamaki made a noise of acknowledgement.

“You know I’m hella gay, right?” Matsukawa asked, his casual tone covering up his anxiety as Hanamaki looked at him in slight surprise.

“I mean, I do now,” Hanamaki shrugged. “It doesn’t matter all that much to me, you’re still you.”

“Thanks, fucker.”

“No problem, memelord.”

“Should I assume you’re straight?” Matsukawa asked, trying to lighten the mood. “As the wingman that you so desperately need, I need to know whether to reel in hot girls or hot guys.” The pink-haired boy’s response was a shove.

“Fuck off, you haven’t dated anyone either. And I dunno, maybe both? I haven’t paid much attention to that sort of thing.” Hanamaki hummed as they walked.

“Fair enough, man, people are hot as hell.”

“Right?”

He got into easy routine with the Hanamaki, as everything came easily when they were together. It never got weird, like with some of his other male friends who were extremely cautious about hanging out with a gay male. There wasn’t any tension, just having fun.

Often, after school, they would rage together in Mario Kart. Matsukawa learned that Hanamaki always chose Waluigi solely because of the memes. Matsukawa respected that, but he always chose Yoshi (‘So you’re into that kind of stuff? Kinky, Matsu~’ Hanamaki had quipped). They both hated Moo Moo Meadows and adored Coconut Mall. He learned that Hanamaki adored cream puffs more than life itself. Hanamaki learns that Matsukawa, even if he goes to bed at like nine at night (which never happens, he always drifts off at around eleven), will always wake up at eleven am. Always.

Neither of them talk much more about romance, other than when Matsukawa came out. It wasn’t really something they had thought about, until Matsukawa’s sixteenth birthday was dangerously close. That meant he was getting his soulmate tattoo. Though no one knows how or why, at midnight on a person’s 16th birthday, they get writing on their wrist, almost like a tattoo. This writing, whatever it says, has something to do with your soulmate. It’s usually something like the first thing they say to you after it appears, or an inside joke you two will have, maybe a phrase they say a lot. Simply a push in the right direction, fate’s little nudge-nudge wink-wink about what future you have in store.

Matsukawa hadn’t thought about it all that much, honestly, though his parents tended to bug (read: ask him incessantly) him about it recently. Thus led to him thinking about it absently at Hanamaki’s house, as they were laying haphazardly on his couch, eating Funyuns, and browsing tumblr. Matsukawa’s blog was actually pretty popular, and he ended up posting a lot about he and Hanamaki’s antics. So, when someone asked for the story of how they met, Matsukawa didn’t know it would be the beginning of a downward spiral.

“Hey, dickhead.” Matsukawa said lazily, his words having zero bite to them.

“What, shitstain?” Hanamaki answered, moving his laptop as Matsukawa shifted his legs. Matsukawa meant to say something, but instead, a mild burp came out.

“Weak. Four out of ten. Really, I’m disappointed.” Hanamaki drawled as he rated the burp, a lazy grin on his face that was both fond and annoying.

“It slipped out, I’ll do better next time, Hana-sensei.” Matsukawa fired back. “But really, what I was going to say was ‘I’m gonna post the story of how we met to tumblr, ok?’.”

“Dude, do it.” Hanamaki said, rolling over to look at what he was about to type.

‘OK SO WE WERE WATCHING A MOVIE IN CLASS AND THE MAIN CHARACTER GOES ‘I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY’ AND ME AND THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST GOES ‘SAME’ AND HE WINKED AT ME AND I DID LIL FINGER GUNS AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE IT WAS GREAT AND LONG STORY SHORT THAT’S HOW I MET HANAMAKI’

Hanamaki grinned as he read over Matsukawa’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the latter’s waist.

“You think I’m cute?” He said with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows as Matsukawa posted the story. Matsukawa struggled to keep his expression neutral, but he did so - he didn’t want to make his friend uncomfortable. Yeah, that was it.

“Dude, you have looked in a mirror recently, right?” Matsukawa said with an eyeroll. The grip on his waist tightened, and for the first time (but certainly not the last), Matsukawa’s heart did the annoying stuttery-fluttery thing. Fuck.

“Aw, thanks honey.” Hanamaki smiled, and Matsukawa felt shivers run down his spine. He then started to mentally curse every celestial being for making him suddenly realize that ‘Holy shit, I like my best friend, god fucking damnit, why.’

“That’s hella gay, babe.” Matsukawa chuckled nervously, refusing to look at Hanamaki.

“You are hella gay, Matsu.” He could feel the eyeroll that was Hanamaki undoubtedly did just then, despite not seeing one.

“As far as I know, you’re technically not.” Matsukawa retorted.

“Maybe I am.” Hanamaki said quietly, almost to himself, and Matsukawa’s heart stopped.

“Since when?” Matsukawa asked, turning to face the pink-haired boy.

“Since basically yesterday, so you’re the first one to hear about it. Congrats.” He said sheepishly, doing jazz hands as he finished.

“I don’t know whether to be proud or turned on.” Matsukawa quipped, lightening the mood as he elbowed his friend.

“Both would be fantastic.” Hanamaki said with a grin, and Matsukawa flicked his head. After that, many more rounds of Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros occurred, along with bouts of swearing death and vengeance upon the other person, before Matsukawa went back on tumblr briefly, chuckling slightly at the responses to his most recent post.

“Hey, tumblr wants us to get married.” He said to Hanamaki, who was currently stuffing his face with funyuns. He grinned as he walked over and read the reblogs that people had made.

“Well, I mean, clearly we’re goals.” He said with an indignant huff, the glint in his eye showing his humor.

“No shit, since when were we not goals?” Matsukawa agreed gravely. Hanamaki’s expression then changed into the shit-eating grin that he both loved and feared. He took out a funyun and looked at it like it was the most valuable thing in the world.

“I know, Matsu, and that’s what’s had me thinking… We’ve been together for soooooo long, and I want you to forever be my partner in crime, my memelord. Will you,” Hanamaki entailed dramatically, a lilt to his voice as he paraded around the room, suddenly stopping in front of Matsukawa. He ruffled around in the funyun bag for a comically unnecessary amount of time, pulled out a single funyun, and sagely got down onto one knee, the food acting as a faux ring. “Be my number one meme?”

“B-Bro, I don’t know what to say… Y-Yes! I will always be your number one meme~!” Matsukawa said in a high, airy voice, his expression dramatic. He held out his hand delicately, and Hanamaki, with a gleeful expression, put the funyun on his ring finger. Hanamaki got up from his kneeling position, and they stood there for a while with stoic expressions before they each cracked, cackling with each other as they fell down onto the couch.

That night was the night everything changed for Matsukawa, when he realized he liked Hanamaki in a romantic way, not just platonic. Despite knowing his sexuality from a young age, Matsukawa had never dated anyone, much less one of his best friends (he didn’t have many, so Hanamaki went straight to the top). The most he had was a crush on some third-year boy in middle school, and he turned out to be a giant asshole, so that wasn’t the best thing to go off of. So, internal panic began to occur naturally for the black-haired boy. His feelings only grew as his birthday grew closer, until it was a few days before his birthday.

“Stab me. Like right now.” Hanamaki had groaned to Matsukawa as they laid on the bed of the latter. It was a lazy day for them both, and they were very content as they laid on the bed in pjs and untamed hair.

“I’d rather not. Why?” Matsukawa quipped.

“Feelings have been caught.” Hanamaki said plainly, his face covered, and Matsukawa’s world came internally crashing down.

“Ew, gross. Sorry. For who?” He asked, his voice straining to keep neutral.

“... Tell you at a later date.” Hanamaki mumbled.

“Don’t you mean when you take them on a date?” Matsukawa snorted, even though his stomach was in a million different knots.

“You aren’t helping my situation.”

“I can’t help the situation if I don’t know the person.”

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just… I’m not sure if they feel the same way, and it’s highkey freaking me out.” Hanamaki sighed.

“That’s okay, Makki, don’t worry. Tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll support you, no matter what. Besides, whoever it is, they’re lucky.” Matsukawa said as he snapped out of his internal funk, putting Hanamaki’s feelings in priority over his own. Hanamaki chuckled slightly as he turned to face the black-haired boy.

“Thanks, fucker.” He said, referencing when Matsukawa had come out to him. Matsukawa’s eyes lit up and he grinned.

“No problem, memelord.” He replied, a comforting hand on Hanamaki’s shoulder.

“Race you to the corner store? I want creampuffs.” Hanamaki asked a few minutes later, seemingly revitalized and raring to go.

“We’re in our pjs.” Matsukawa deadpanned, looking at his friend/crush with a raised eyebrow, though his expression showed intrigue at the challenge.

“And this matters how?” Hanamaki quipped, and they were soon off to the corner store, pjs and all, laughing like little kids the whole way.

The next day was Matsukawa’s birthday, and it was very pleasant. He had a nice dinner with his family, birthday wishes from his classmates, and a card from Hanamaki that had a hand-drawn pepe on the front. He would have quipped about how stale of a meme it was, despite being a classic, but he was happy that Hanamaki put thought into the card. But that wasn’t what he was reflecting on at nine am the next day, oh no.

What he was, in fact, staring at was his tattoo. It was gorgeous, mind you, written in a slanted font. The words shone in hues of light pink and blue, a gradient effect adding to its charm. As he shifted it in the morning sunlight, he could see it was slightly metallic.

But its words was what made his breath catch and his heart stop, what made him get ready for the day in a hurried daze, and grab a to-go breakfast so he could go to someone’s house. He knew the route by heart. He didn’t care that it was 3 miles away and that his mom was already gone for work. He was fucking going.

His train of thought, however, was stopped short by a figure standing in the kitchen, wearing an apron that read ‘kiss-me-I’m-hot’ and setting down a bowl of fruit. Matsukawa looked around the kitchen and saw french toast on the table. He didn’t dare speak a word, and he didn’t have to, as the figure turned around with an almost nervous-looking smile.

“Hey, memelord, I let myself in. Hope that’s okay.” He said with a boyish grin, the words leaving his mouth echoing the words newly inked on Matsukawa’s wrist. Matsukawa’s breath caught in his throat, and for the first time, he allowed himself to take his friend in. The morning sun was shining in his messy pink hair, giving him a heavenly glow that didn’t fit his personality at all (but it was nice for the ambiance). His eyes were shining with mirth and his trademark devilish smirk was resting on his face, one that Matsukawa constantly fell victim to. The apron he wore gave him a housewife vibe that made Matsukawa want to laugh at til the next century. He looked perfect. Ridiculous, but perfect. Matsukawa’s face broke out into a huge grin as he wordlessly crossed the room towards him and engulfed the younger boy in a hug, holding him tightly. He felt tensions leave the boy’s body, and a light, content sigh escaped them both.

“It’s more than okay, fucker.” Matsukawa choked out, his face buried in Hanamaki’s neck. Hanamaki quickly ended the hug, a confused look on his face no doubt a result from Matsukawa’s tone, but it was mostly erased when he saw that a giant grin still rested on the lips on the black-haired boy. Suddenly, they both felt a little chill, as a wind passed through the kitchen, and Matsukawa chuckled as Hanamaki’s eyes widened comically, knowing what was happening. When a soulmate above sixteen and below sixteen meet, the younger gets their soulmate tattoo then and there.

Hanamaki’s wrist shot up to eye level, looking at the tattoo, and then at Matsukawa. Blinking rapidly. Rinse and repeat for a solid minute. A tiny squeak was the only noise that Hanamaki could apparently make at the moment, his cheeks dusted with red.

“Speechless, are we? That’s new. I like it.” Matsukawa said cheekily, a Cheshire grin on his face. Hanamaki instantly relaxed, a fond half smirk growing on his face as he fell easily into routine.

“You won’t get it often, lover boy, so you should have savored the moment.” He said airily, his eyes alight and playful.

“Such a shame. I was enjoying the peace and quiet.” Matsukawa said with a mournful sigh.

“Shut up.” Hanamaki fired back, a sly smile on his face.

“Make me.” Matsukawa retorted instantly, his eyelashes lowered as he stared at his soulmate, who got the message. Twin grins made their way onto their faces as they leaned in, lips touching gently. It was soft, hesitant, and innocent. In other words, very uncharacteristic for both of them, but it suited them. The hesitance was due to each of them wondering how they each got this lucky, if this really wasn’t a dream. The broke apart not soon after, but small smiles rested on their faces.

“Asshole, making me wait for this.” Hanamaki muttered.

“Dude, I thought you were straight until like two days ago.” Matsukawa said indignantly.

“I mean, so did I…” Hanamaki said hesitantly. “But then I was just kinda looking at you while we were hanging out a week ago, and I had an epiphany.”

“About?”

“You without clothes.”

“Such tact, Hanamaki.”

“I know. Anyway, I found myself… Attracted? To you? Then I started to think more, like more about emotional rather than physical, and I was like ‘shit, wait, am I gay?’, but I realized if it was you, then I didn’t mind. This is getting too cheesy for my liking. Say something shitty.”

“Something shitty.”

“You’re such a dick.” Hanamaki laughed breathily, his head resting on Matsukawa’s shoulder.

“Well, I’m also your soulmate, so you must have shitty taste in men.”

“So do you.”

“Fair point.”

“So… What do we do now?”

“I dunno, make out?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed.”

And they did.

Epilogue:

“I knew it! Iwa-chan, did I or did I not call this?” Oikawa asked gleefully as Hanamaki and Matsukawa walked into the gym holding hands the next practice. Iwaizumi looked over, his confused expression turning into a slightly fond look, one meant to be on the face of a proud parent.

“I think we all did, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi shrugged, walking over to them. “But congratulations, you two.”

“Thanks, mom.” Hanamaki said, rolling his eyes.

“But, Iwa-chan, remember when, on your birthday, they had said ‘Oh, it’s so obvious that you two were going to be soulmates~! You both were just too chicken to say anything, honestly. You’re both so lame.’? Huh… What does that remind you of, Iwa-chan? I can’t put my finger on it…” Oikawa simpered, looking at Iwaizumi with mock innocence, and Iwaizumi just simply stared at them pointedly. The new soulmates had the right to look slightly sheepish.

“Like you two were any better than us.” Matsukawa defended, his hand around Hanamaki’s waist. Suddenly, Oikawa looked at them strangely.

“You… You know I was kidding, right? I mean, you guys were dating before this, we all knew you two were going to be soulmates…” Oikawa said slowly as he looked at Matsukawa’s serious expression, which slowly turned to surprise (Hanamaki’s mirrored this).

“We weren’t dating before yesterday.” Hanamaki said hesitantly, his eyes flickering to Matsukawa’s in confirmation. All of their teammates, who were listening in at this point, fell silent in shock. No doubt, they were thinking back to all of the play-flirting, the hand-holding, and the obvious checking-out of the other that happened so brazenly with those two.

“Like hell, you two weren’t dating before this!” Oikawa screeched, and Yahaba laughed from the other side of the gym.

“Pay up, Oikawa-senpai! I called it!” He yelled, and Oikawa’s vacant stare of awe lingered on them as he absently gave Yahaba a few bills.

“Pleasure doing business, boys, thanks for being oblivious!” Yahaba said with a wink as he scampered back to Watari and Kyoutani, who had started to come to practice again recently. Everyone then chuckled and went back to what they were doing.

“C’mon, we gotta get changed.” Hanamaki said, nudging Matsukawa, who had taken out his phone. Matsukawa nodded, as he had just finished updating the Tumblr post on how they met - he added a selfie of them that they took yesterday, showing off their new tattoos, and a picture of their new ‘In a relationship with _________’ status on Facebook, with one word.

‘Whoops.’

Notes:

*peeks out of trashcan* I have no excuses honestly
(I loved writing them so much they're so hilarious and banter-y)
OK I HAVE KUROKEN FINISHED SO THAT'LL COME SOON
THEREFORE OPTIONS INCLUDE

A) KyoHaba
B) KioYachi
C) YakuLev
D) BoKuroo
E) other???? hit me up fam

HOPE YOU ALL LIKED THIS SELF-INDULGENCE

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