Chapter Text
Dazai waited as the cab drove on, his leg bouncing of the floor with anxiety and a strong temptation to take out the driver and go faster
‘F### speed limits, I need to fix this’
‘This is all my fault, why are they so dam loyal’ he's scratching his wrists and looking out of the window anxiously. ‘What do I do?’
. . . . .
’What would Odasaku do?’
‘He’d be calm….. right, I'm calm’
Slowly he stops his fidgeting and scratching. Then leans into the window, eyes watching every passing car and building
‘im calm, I'm calm, everything is fine, it's fine, it's fine’
Dazai leaned forward towards the driver
“Could you please hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush” he put on a charming smile
The driver just scoffed “ You want me to break the dam law for your “rush” what kinda detective are ya?”
The drivers eye was twitching like it was having a seizure.
‘this mf.’
He fell back into his seat
He took a deep breath in and then exhaled slowly
“Yeah, I guess you're right ha ha… ha”
‘It’ll be fine, it can't be that bad’
‘it'll be fine, it'll be fine’
As he kept reassuring himself, the houses passing by started to look more and more dingy and dirty.
Almost as bad as Suribachi city, but not quite.
. . .
After what seemed an eternity, the cab pulled up to a ratty old house that would probably be condemned at this point.
The windows are boarded up shielding the broken windows from view
Chucking money to the cab driver, Dazai practically leaps from the car doors. He runs up a few steps fumbling with the keys and accidentally dropping them.
He shouts “F##K”
Then kicks the door, except instead of the doors bursting open; his foot went through the wood. He hopped on one foot and put his hands on the door, somehow getting his foot out before he fell back onto the stairs. Then again, he paused.
‘I could've just died just now…’
Sigh
The doors are about as strong as paper, so when he simply shoved the doors they fell off their hinges.
After darting through the living room, and tripping onto the couch face first.
He doesn't waste a second turning corners and bumping into the walls.
Finally he gets to a room in the back with a big rug in the middle. He tosses the rug off the floor, low and behold there's a secret door. He flings that open and flies down the stairs into the basement.
“FEATHER BRAIN!!!”
“hoo”
IS THERE- IS THERE- IS THERE A LETTER
“coo”
“WHEre”
Taking in a deep breath
“is the letter”
(There's a window, that the owl can open and close on his own)
Featherbrain jumps to the side and reveals the letter he was sitting on.
Dazai’s trembling hands and shaky breath he takes the letter and opens it. It reads:
‘Dear Boss,
We’re coming to find you. I don't care if I have to tear down the Port Mafia with my bare hands, I'm going to get you back home, with me. and the others.
We've all done things we aren't proud of to get you, because you're our boss and nothing, nothing, will ever change that ever.
I just hope by the end of this, you won't feel ashamed my crimes.’
Dazai shakily slumps to the ground staring at the letter.
_______________________________
There’s so much panicked talking, the anxiety and tension is palpable.
Atsushi was frozen, filled with horrible thoughts, and the room seemed to get louder and louder, Ranpo was nowhere to be seen and then..
“Enough”
Fukuzawa cuts through the noise instantly.
“Dazai is one of us and we will keep him safe, the only way to do that is to calm down.”
“Pres-”
“There's no need to worry” Ranpo came through the door with a bag of chips in his hand “I'll take care of this”
“HUHHHH” The whole room was stupefied even Fukuzawa was taken back by that.
“Ranpo!” “You're okay!!” “What happened!?” “Where were you!?”
The president relaxed some at the sight of a healthy (living) Ranpo
“Ranpo, where did you run off too”
“Don't worry, president! I was just investigating something suspicious”
The group felt so much more at ease with Ranpo’s presence, though still thrumming with anxiousness.
Fukuzawa nodded
Since the room quieted down Atsushi regained some mental stability
Yosano shook her head “I bet Dazai owes you some snacks huh”
“Nope”
Now everyone was a lil confused
*Sighhhhhhhhhh*
“Where would you all be without me?”
_______________________________
One week prior
“Why does no one know ANYTHING useful….”
Ron let his head fall onto the beautifully designed super fancy desk
*Sigh*
“Don't worry Ron-” “we’ll find something eventually” Fred and George walked into the office, with Hermione behind them. “Precisely, so get back to work Ron.”
“aaaarghhagah We've waited this long, what's one break going to do Mione.”
“You know very well Ron, time is of the essence! And we need those files written up, I refuse to work in disorganization!”
“Come on, get to it Ron” George says in a teasing voice “Yeah” Fred joins
Hermione scowls at the twins
“jee sorry” “Fred, I believe there’s work to be done elsewhere” “yep, yep lots of work”
“Bye now” thankfully the twins manage to escape with their heads still attached.
“This is about as hard as finding him when he'd get lost in Hogwarts.” Ron spins around in the spinny chair
Hermione stepped around the desk grabbing Ron by the cheeks and kissed his forehead “Well why don't you hurry up and we can have tea. So we can for once, have a break during break time. You're wasting valuable work time.”
Ron looked horrified. “Is it tea time already!” Hermione nodded “Yes and you would've been done already if you’d stop squabbling instead of working!”
“ARgh” Ron sped up his writing, Hermione just sighed and then stood up. “See you at the tea table”
-10 minutes later-
The four are at the table.
Fred and George are talking about their latest prank magic
As Ron puts a cube of sugar into his tea he turns to Hermione
“Hey Mione, when are the others coming back?”
“Tomorrow I belie-” *SLAM*
Blaise swings open the door and it slams into the wall, Draco follows behind. Hermione tries to speak but
“We’ve found him.”
_______________________________
Back to present
-Dazai in his basement, rolling on la floor-
It's silent, all that can be heard is Dazai rolling, his coat making coat noises.
It's messy with random things all over, kid toys, random crumbled papers, empty alcohol bottles, it's also pretty dusty.
except for the back of the wall where a whole lot of letters are neatly stacked on the old creaky desk, as well as letters and trinkets nicely organized in an office paper holder shelf thing.
Then there are footsteps…
“Wow this place is a dump”
Dazai stops rolling and looks at the intruder
Dazai gets onto his hands into a kinda half plank “Ranpo??”
He then sits up fully
“Jeez, what would the world be without me? A total mess that's what!” Ranpo skipped over to Dazai as he was standing up.
“That's true..”
“Hm hm!” Ranpo is living for compliments (like me)
It was kinda silent for a moment but not awkward. Then Ranpo picked a kitchen stool off the floor, wiped away the dust and hopped on.
“So.”
Ranpo opens his eyes. As if they knew all the secrets of the world, they looked right into Dazai’s soul.
“How did you hide that you’re a wizard from me”