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Castiel took his voice recorder out of his leather bowery bag and pressed the record button. “I’m here with Charlie Bradbury and Joanna Harvelle and I’ll be interviewing them for my latest article of LGBTQA+ Magazine.”
“Hello!” Charlie exclaimed, pulling Jo a bit closer to her side. It was a cold day, especially for spring. The shone in their eyes, but the wind was blowing through their clothes leaving them shivering. Castiel had approached them after he saw them sitting on a bench in the park, he needed another couple for his article and they were perfect.
“How long have you two been together?” Castiel asked, smiling at the small touched the women exchanged. There was so much love in their eyes that it almost felt as if he was intruding on a private moment when he watched them.
“For about a year and a half now,” Jo answered, linking her hands with Charlie.
Castiel nodded and looked back at his notebook, deciding which question he would ask next. “How did you meet?”
“It was at the Roadhouse, a small diner not too far from here,” Charlie explained, “Jo worked there as a waitress.”
“It’s my Mom’s diner and I helped her out, I still do,” Jo added, her eyes far away and dreamy, remembering the night she met her girlfriend. “Charlie walked in, completely in costume from cosplaying as queen.”
“She fell in love with me immediately,” Charlie winked as Jo slapped her arm.
“Actually, I thought you were a freak,” Jo laughed and this time, it was Charlie who smacked her arm. Jo quickly grabbed her wrist and traced the pulse point with her thumb. “No, I’m just kidding. I thought you looked cool!”
“Thanks, Babe.”
“It wasn’t love at first sight, though I did see that she was gorgeous. So I came over to her before anyone else could, poured her a drink and we started talking. I gave her my number when she was about to leave.”
“I asked her on a date the next day,” Charlie said, pecking Jo on her cheek. “The rest is history.”
“That’s cute,” Castiel said sincerely, unable to keep the smile off his face. Though the feeling in his stomach was bittersweet, he had been single for a long time now and he wanted nothing more than be in a loving relationship. Maybe it just wasn’t meant for him. “I hate to ask this but are you happy together?”
“Yeah, we definitely are,” Charlie said while Jo nodded furiously, her blond curls bouncing. “I always think it’s weird that some people, mostly straight people, think that because we are gay that we’re automatically in a bad or unhealthy relationship.”
“I think so too,” Castiel agreed, thinking back to the times people said this to him. It always made him angry but also feel powerless at the same time. Especially when he told people that he fell for personality regardless of the gender, the amount of times he heard that people who fall for more than one gender cheat more often is uncountable. It’s also not true at all.
“Well, ladies, thank you both for your time,” Castiel said, breaking out of his thoughts. “Can I take a picture of you?”
“Sure!” Charlie exclaimed, pulling Jo closer while winding an arm around her waist. Jo placed her arms around Charlie’s shoulders and pulled her impossibly closer. They both smiled, cheek to cheek as the flash of Castiel’s camera went off. They stood there talking for a while after Castiel turned the recorder off and showed them the picture. They were both lovely and were excited to see the interview in the magazine.
After saying their goodbye’s, Castiel walked to the nearest Starbucks and bought the largest cup size they had. He was going to need it if he wanted the interview typed and ready for the editor tonight.
As Castiel turned around and another customer walked forwards to order his coffee, they collided. Castiel’s coffee went everywhere, on the floor, himself and of course the other customer. The coffee drenched through Castiel’s shirt, making him wince in pain at the scalding heat.
“Oh god, I am so sorry!” Castiel exclaimed, turning back to the register to get some napkins. He handed a few over to the man standing in front of him. Castiel froze when he looked into the man’s eyes. It was like very cliché meeting in romantic comedies but Castiel couldn’t bring himself to look away.
The more he stared, the more he noticed the tiny freckles on the man’s nose bridge, the shine in the emerald green eyes, the plump lips Castiel really wanted to taste.
“No problem, man,” the man said, trying to dry himself with the napkins. The simple white shirt was coffee stained and Castiel felt even guiltier.
“Let me buy you a coffee,” Castiel said, locking eyes with the man again. “As an apology.”
“You really don’t have to,” the man responded, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“I insist,” Castiel said determined, walking back to the register.
The man smiled and shook his a little, but joined Cas anyway. “Fine, a black coffee for me then.”
“Okay, a black coffee for…” Castiel averted his eyes from the girl behind the register to the man next to him.
“Dean.”
“A black coffee for Dean,” Cas repeated, “and the anniversary blend for me.” Cas quickly paid and watched the girl prepare their coffees.
“Why were you in such a hurry anyway?” Dean asked, turning to face Castiel. Dean didn’t look mad, just curious.
“I’m a journalist,” Castiel explained, playing with the ends of his trench coat. “ And I need to get an article done by tonight.”
“That sounds cool!” Dean said excitedly, “For what magazine did you need the article?”
“Oh,” Castiel said, looking down to the floor. He liked Dean, he was a nice person and by telling him this, he could lose him before they had the chance to get to know each other.
Some people were disgusted by the magazine or just the sexuality he had in general. He didn’t want Dean to be one of them.
“Is it that embarrassing?” Dean asked, an unsure smile grazing his lips. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“It’s LGBTQA+ magazine,” Castiel blurted out, still unable to look Dean in the eyes.
Dean gently took Castiel’s chin in his hand, moving it up so he was looking at Dean again. “And you didn’t want to tell me, because?”
“A lot of people react badly,” Castiel said, his cheeks heating up when he noticed how close they were actually standing.
“A lot of people are stupid,” Dean said with a smile, dropping his hand to the side again. “I don’t judge, you do you.”
“Thank you,” Castiel said heartfelt, a sense of relief washing upon him. A ringing sound broke them out of their little bubble. It was his boss and of course, they needed the article before 5 pm, great.
Luckily the barista just finished making their coffees and placed it in front of them. “I would love to stay and talk, Dean, but I really have to go.”
“That’s alright, maybe I’ll see you around sometimes,” Dean said, a spark of hope in his grass green eyes.
“I hope so,” Cas mumbled, blushing furiously. He didn’t mean to say that out loud. “It was nice meeting you!”
With that Cas stormed out of the shop, mentally slapping himself for the slip-up. Dean was extremely good-looking and even that felt as an understatement. Cas knew he was attracted to Dean but Dean wasn’t playing for that team. He would have said something after Cas told him about his job if he was right?
Cas worked all day –while deliberately ignoring every thought about emerald-like eyes- and was finally able to send the copy of the finished draft to his boss. He stretched his muscles, his back cracking in the process. He loved his job, he really did. However, sometimes the stress took over and put a strain on his body.
Now that Castiel had nothing to do anymore, Dean immediately popped up in his head and Cas didn’t stop himself from thinking about the handsome man. If Dean wasn’t straight, Castiel would have been all over him. But he couldn’t put himself through this anymore. Maybe when he was still young and had the hope for straight guys to magically play for his team. Though that isn’t reality and he shouldn’t hope for it.
Castiel tried to hold himself back the next few days. Every time he saw that particular Starbucks, he felt the need to enter it and search for Dean. Cas didn’t know if Dean was a regular or if his last visit was a one-time thing.
He broke on Thursday and opened the door to the Starbucks, mentally beating himself up for it. It was a quiet afternoon, only the occasional hipster or student.
In the far corner of the store, almost invisible to the eye, sat a man hunched over a book. Cas could only see the blond strands of his hair poking out.
For some reason, Castiel felt incredibly drawn to this man. Castiel placed his order and made his way towards the man, his heart stopping then beating wildly after he identified the man as Dean.
Cas wanted to run, far far away and forget this moment.
He never had the chance.
Dean looked up and smiled, waving Castiel over to join him at the table. Castiel approached him slowly, regretting stepping inside. He would just make a fool out of himself or develop an ever bigger crush on Dean.
He didn’t know which one was worse.
“Long time no see,” Dean said, shutting his book and laying it beside him on the table. He bent forwards a bit and fixed his gaze on Castiel who was yet to answer.
“How are you, Dean?” Castiel said, his voice much more steady than he felt. Butterflies were having a rave in his stomach and he had goosebumps all over his skin.
“Good,” Dean smiled, taking a sip of his steaming coffee. “I’m on my break, have to go back to work soon.”
Castiel nodded before realization hit him. “I am so sorry,” Castiel stammered. “I am probably intruding. I’ll leave.”
“No, wait!” Dean quickly grabbed Cas’ wrist and held onto it like it was a lifeline. “You don’t have to go. I don’t mind.”
Castiel sat back down after a few seconds of hesitation and drank from his own cup. It felt like he needed something way stronger than this.
It wasn’t long before Dean had to leave for work –Cas still didn’t know where he worked- and left Cas alone at the table, drowning himself in the feeling of Dean’s skin on his.
Cas didn’t know if it was fate when his car broke down a few days later, but bringing his car to a mechanic and finding out Dean owns the shop was too much of a coincidence. Even though he shouldn’t bring up his hopes like this –Dean is undeniably straight- Cas couldn’t help but wonder if some great force wanted them to be together.
“Are you okay, Cas?” Dean asked concern weaved in his voice. Castiel touched his shoulder, ignored the tiny lightning bolts running up his arm and nodded.
“The car just slowed down and eventually stopped. I could pull over just in time.”
“Good, I’ll see what I can do,” Dean said, popping the hood open. “You can take a seat, watch me work.”
Castiel’s eyes widened slightly at the thought. Dean turned around but Cas could see the blush on his cheeks. Dean probably never meant to say that in a flirty way, it just came out wrong.
Dean didn’t look at him for the next hour or so, focusing only on the car. Cas didn’t know what to say or do, so he just kept quiet as he focused more on Dean than the work he did.
“It needs some work, but I think I’ll be able to fix it,” Dean sighed, wiping some sweat off his forehead. “If you write down your number I can call you when it’s finished.”
“Sure,” Cas said, taking the pen and paper from Dean. Castiel just managed to find a flat surface that isn’t littered with tools and car parts when a door opened. A shorter guy with shaggy dirty blonde hair walked out, the stick of a lollipop sticking out of his mouth.
“Who is this?” the guy asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Dean who turned red and slapped the guy on his arm.
“A customer, Gabe,” Dean said, rolling his eyes to look indifferent while still blushing furiously.
“Then why is he writing down his number?” Gabe asked in a teasing voice. “Did Dean Winchester finally score a date with a man?”
“GABRIEL!”
“Dean is repairing my car,” Castiel said, handing Dean the piece of paper. Dean shot him a “thank you” with his eyes before folding down the paper and putting it away in the pocket of his overall. “There is nothing more going on.”
Castiel couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice and prayed nobody heard it. Gabriel eyed his watchfully before shrugging and sauntering off to a car further away in the garage.
“I’m sorry about the Gabriel thing,” Dean said, finally facing Cas again. “I hope it didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“No, it’s fine,” Castiel said reassuringly. “I have brothers, I’m used to being teased.”
“Oh okay.”
“I’ll see you again when my car is finished,” Castiel said, not wanting to stay in the garage any longer. “Goodbye, Dean.”
Cas walked away before he was stopped by Dean’s voice. “I’m not gay.”
“I never said you were,” Castiel replied, this time making it out of the garage without being stopped.
It sounded a lot like Dean was in denial. He was too defensive in his words, his actions. He wasn’t certain, maybe he was still figuring everything out.
Castiel came from a loving family who made his coming out very easy. They were open and taught him from a young age that everybody is different. His parents often said even before he came out, that they love him for who he is, no matter what.
When he discovered he was pansexual, he wasn’t scared. Castiel accepted it right away and so did his parents and brothers.
This, of course, isn’t the case for anybody and maybe Dean grew up in a family where identifying as something different than straight is a bad thing. It was just the question if Cas was willing to wait for him. If it was all worth it.
There was an attraction, it was undeniable. However, Dean could reject him and possibly break his heart. Cas didn’t know if he was ready to take that chance.
“Forget Dean and go on a date with someone else!” Anna had said that night, her scolding voice just as scary over the phone as in real life.
“Look, Anna-”
“I know this guy and you are going to like him, okay?” Anna said, interrupting him with no room for “but’s”.
“Fine,” Castiel sighed, half-listening to Anna raving about this “hot British guy” for the next few minutes.
When Cas hung up the phone, he felt lonelier than he had in a long while.
The date was planned that Friday and Castiel already didn’t like the guy when they met. Balthazar thought way too highly of himself, it wasn’t just confidence, oh no, it was a huge ego, the size of the Chrysler building.
By the time their food arrived, Cas was already bored to death and had made several escape plans. At least the place was kind of nice. It had a nice mood, homely almost. Which was weird for a roadhouse.
The door to the Roadhouse opened and Castiel nearly lost his shit right there. No other than Dean Winchester walked into the Roadhouse, with him a very tall man with shoulder length brown hair. The man somehow reminded him of a puppy. All excitement and happiness.
Castiel shouldn’t be jealous, but the way they laughed and talked hurt him in ways he couldn’t describe.
“Are you even listening?” Balthazar asked, clearly offended. Castiel couldn’t care less.
“No, not really,” Cas admitted, his eyes not leaving Dean once. “Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom.”
Castiel tried to sneak off as Dean came closer and closer. Why did they have a seat right next to the bar? But Dean spotted him before Cas could sprint away and motioned for him to come closer.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, putting his beer back on the bar. “What brings you here?”
“A crappy date,” Castiel dead-panned, looking over to Balthazar who already found someone else to talk to.
“Sorry, dude,” Dean said, patting him on the back. “This is Sam, by the way, my brother.”
Oh. Oh.
“Hello Sam, I’m Castiel,” Castiel said, introducing himself with his hand stretched before him. The man accepted it, his huge hand engulfing Cas’.
“Dean told me about you! You are the one who spilled coffee on Dean, aren’t you?”
Castiel felt his cheeks heat up and rubbed his neck. “Yeah, that was me.”
“It’s okay, Cas,” Dean said. “You treated me on coffee afterward.”
“You two went on a date?” Sam asked, his eyes shining with something Cas could only describe as hope.
Dean’s eyes quickly shot back to Sam, his eyebrows furrowed. “No! We didn’t go on a date. Why does everybody think that I am gay?!”
Castiel was taking aback with Dean’s second outburst in a long time. Sam just rolled his eyes as if he’s already used to it.
Some people looked their way, watching them closely to see if something is happening. Castiel bet they were hoping for a bar fight or something.
Dean quickly downed his beer and eyed the people at the Roadhouse, mostly girls. It seemed like Dean had something to prove, though Cas didn’t know if he needed to prove something to them or himself. Perhaps both.
“Can I talk to you, Dean?” Sam said more than he asked, pulling Dean along by the arm to a quiet corner. Castiel could see Sam towering above Dean with a stern look on his otherwise baby-ish face. Dean looked more embarrassed than scared.
It didn’t look like they were coming back anytime soon, so Cas chose to leave the Roadhouse and call it a night.
He got a call from Dean on Tuesday to pick up his car. Dean’s voice was cold and distant like he was talking to some stranger instead of him. It was nothing like the warm and bright voice Dean normally had when he talked to Cas.
Cas dreadfully walked over to the garage, his heart pounding when it came in sight. Dean was standing next to his car, one hand on the hood as he watched Cas come in.
“She’s all done,” Dean said, starting the motor to show that the car started again.
“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said sincerely, though Dean ignored him and walked over to the register.
Cas took the hint and took out his wallet to pay what his insurance didn’t. Dean didn’t even look at him as he handed the receipt. He just walked away, ready to work on a new car.
“Did I do something wrong?” Castiel asked, making Dean stop in his tracks. He didn’t turn around, just stood there like a statue, unmoving.
“You left the Roadhouse early,” Dean responded. His shoulder were tight and his hands were balling up in fists, the skin turning white.
“I didn’t know you wanted me to stay.”
“Of course, I wanted you to stay!” Dean sighed and let his shoulders relax, his hands unclenching. “I’m sorry I gave you the impression that I didn’t.”
“That’s okay,” Castiel said, smiling softly, his bundled nerves from Dean’s behavior all vanishing into thin air.
“It’s just that- I wanted to- I guess I finally got the courage-” Dean took a deep breath. It looked like he was fighting an inner battle. As if he was forcing himself to say this. “I wanted to ask you out.”
Castiel froze, shocked at the words pouring out of Dean’s mouth. Never had he thought he would hear this from Dean Winchester.
“I didn’t know you played for that team,” Castiel said, his jaw still hanging open a bit at the confession.
“I kept it hidden for a long time, Sam pushed me to say something at the Roadhouse. I was going to ask you then.”
“I am so sorry Dean-”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Dean said. “But, eh, do you want to go out with me?”
Castiel couldn’t stop a grin from stretching his mouth. “I would love to.”
The date went just as Cas expected it to go. Amazing. The chemistry between them made up for the inevitable awkward moments. Once they were over the nervousness and shyness, everything was perfect.
The kiss to end the night was even more perfect. It was sweet and slow and passionate at the same time. Castiel could imagine him doing this forever.
“I’m Castiel Novak and I am here with Dean Winchester, my boyfriend, to answer questions for my latest article of LGBTQA+ Magazine.”
Castiel still loved calling Dean his boyfriend. Maybe because he couldn’t believe he could call Dean that in the first place.
“Dean, how long have we been together?”
“Two months and a week now,” Dean laughed, laying his head on Castiel’s shoulder as he answered. “It feels like so much longer.”
“Yeah, I know,” Castiel sighed happily, leaning his head on top of Dean’s. “How did we meet?”
“Due to Cas’ clumsiness,” Dean smirked, poking Cas in his side.
“Hey! Because you were standing too close behind me in line,” Castiel protested, poking Dean back which resulted in a tickle fight that left them giggly and breathless.
“I spilled coffee on Dean in Starbucks,” Castiel confessed. “Who knew that spilling a hot beverage is a relationship starter?”
Dean laughed while Cas looked down at his notebook for the next question. It was nice that he could do an interview from his couch in his own apartment in his pajama’s next to the man he loves. It makes everything more natural and comfortable. “Are we happy together?”
“Definitely,” Dean answered quickly, without a sign of doubt in his voice.
Castiel kissed Dean long and hard, cupping his cheeks with his hands. “I couldn’t be happier.”