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The night started great. Really, everything was going exactly as I had planned.
I’d booked the fanciest Italian restaurant in town just to spite Kieran. Of course I never told him that the entire menu was incompatible with his vampiric diet. I thought it would be funny to watch him squirm in front of dishes he couldn’t even smell without gagging.
And the best part: I managed to get Maria, the sweetest and most superficial cheerleader at school, to agree to go out with him. That was part of the plan too. Because, of course, when I set them up, I didn’t do it out of kindness or to “help him open up to the world,” like I told Marcella. No.
I did it to screw with him.
The reason? Simple. I wanted to see him fall, see him uncomfortable, annoyed. To see him lose control, to watch him crumble under the scrutiny of a human cheerleader, bright and loud as a carnival.
But nothing went as it should.
Because everything went to hell.
Because Kieran didn’t fall into the trap. The bastard.
He got up as if none of this affected him.
From the moment he arrived with Maria, I knew everything was about to go wrong. Kieran, as always: the damn vampire with a gothic statue face and an icy voice. Impeccable, untouchable. In his black leather jacket, the same one as always, as if it were part of his skin. It didn’t matter the weather, the occasion, or the context; there he was, like he’d stepped out of a cursed magazine. Everything about him seemed too perfect, too calculated. His eyes, cold as night, scanned the place before landing on me with that look that says nothing and says everything.
And, of course, he opened the restaurant door for her. Like the lead in a cheap romantic comedy. Like that would be enough to make us forget what he really is.
From the first second he was… polite? Charming?
I almost vomited.
—Thanks…—
Maria said with a silly little giggle, blushing. And he, of course, pulled out her chair.
He pulled out the damn chair!
And not only that… he smiled at her. Kieran smiled.
He smiled!
And of course she melted like ice cream on a summer day.
I clenched my teeth.
Marcella took my hand gently, smiling, delighted by the scene.
I could only return her smile… with my teeth clenched tight.
—Oh, isn’t there anything here you can eat?—
Maria asked, flipping through the menu with a genuine smile.
—I have some dietary restrictions—
Kieran replied in his low, calm voice, taking a sip of water without blinking.
A lie.
A lie so polished it even sounded sweet.
And then he fixed his eyes on her again. Not with lust. Obviously not. It was worse: he did it calmly, with that damned attention I know too well.
—Don’t worry—
He said, with that soft voice that makes me want to rip out his tongue.
—Mason chose this place, so it must be good.—
What…!?
What the hell was that!?
Sarcasm!?
I froze.
But Maria smiled as if she’d been given an engagement ring.
—You enjoy yourselves—
He added.
—You should have picked something you could enjoy!—
She exclaimed, touching his hand without even noticing.
My heart tightened. Jealous? Of Maria? No. It couldn’t be that, it was because of seeing Kieran like that… smiling, relaxed, charming. With her, with someone who wasn’t me.
(“Mine.”—Something inside me screamed.)
I started to sweat, though a fall wind outside could freeze a human.
—Really, don’t worry. I just want you three to enjoy it—
The vampire said.
And, as if that weren’t enough, Kieran… winked at her.
He-Winked-His-Damn-Eye.
And Maria melted. Not literally, of course, but she might have if the temperature rose one more degree.
—Thanks, Kieran. You’re a sweetheart. Next time we’ll go somewhere special for you, okay?—
She said.
—Sounds like a great idea. Although, to be honest, I’d go anywhere you’d take me—
He replied.
That was what killed me. Not the date, not the food, not the company.
That line.
Marcella laughed softly at my side. She talked to me, asked if I liked the drink. I only nodded. I pretended to be present, but my attention slipped, over and over, toward the conversation on the other side of the table.
Kieran, leaning toward Maria, too close. I really tried to pay attention to Marcella, to focus on her voice, her laugh… but everything collapsed in my head.
Them, Kieran and Maria, were in their own world. They laughed, talked about books, music, art. Kieran painted with words. And she… she melted.
—What kind of food do you like?—
Maria asked, fingering the rim of his glass with his fingertip.
—Oh, because I know an amazing vegan restaurant—
She added.
—Wow… sounds great—
He replied, his tone neutral, but his smile… that smile was almost genuine.
—Are you sure it’s okay that you don’t eat anything? I’m worried—
Maria said sweetly, looking at him with tenderness.
—None of that. Go ahead, eat. Besides, I already ate at home, don’t worry. And if the price scares you… I can pay the bill—
He added, with that damned crooked smile that only appears when he feels comfortable.
And Maria, of course, turned human tomato red.
—That’s so sweet of you!—
She exclaimed, completely flushed.
If she only knew.
If she knew what he really is. What he can do.
If she knew that voice has convinced more than one person to jump off a building. I don’t have proof, but I believe it. I’m sure.
If she knew that behind that calm there are centuries of hunger, rage, and loneliness.
And this.
This was going to shit.
Marcella hugged me, and I hugged her back. Hard, as if that could make me forget what I was seeing.
But I couldn’t.
Maria was already almost on top of him. Leaning on his arm, invading his personal space. And he… didn’t move her away.
And worst of all: he wasn’t entirely pretending.
To top it off, Marcella, sitting next to me, seemed happy for his childhood friend. She didn’t understand what was happening; she didn’t know that I was about to split the table in two from so much contained tension. Cella just laughed, throwing sweet glances at María and Kieran. She said things like:
—Aww, you two look so cute together!—
No. They weren’t.
Nothing was cute.
—I’d like to see each other again—
Maria said with an honest smile.
—How about it?—
She asked.
—Sounds good to me—
He replied.
I wasn’t breathing anymore.
The world turned gray. My claws began to press into the chair wood under the table. Marcella got more excited, not knowing that hell was brewing in my stomach.
And then, the final blow.
—By the way, I just remembered… Blake is having a Halloween party. Would you like to go with me? We could go as a couple costume—
Maria said.
Couple-Costume.
Was she kidding me?
I was going to kill her. I knew it in an instant, not today maybe, but soon. But the image in my mind was sharp: María, broken. Blood, screams, silence.
Kieran took barely a second to answer:
—Mmm… why not? Sounds interesting. I’m not much for parties, but I think it would be fun if you came with me—
Kieran said.
He accepted, without irony, without sarcasm, without hesitation.
Maria let out a happy little laugh. As if she only then remembered we weren’t alone, she looked at Marcella and me with bright eyes.
—You two can come too!—
She exclaimed, thrilled.
Marcella clapped excitedly.
—Let’s do it! The four of us! It’ll be so much fun—
She said, delighted.
And I… smiled. As best I could, as if I wasn’t about to destroy that restaurant with my own hands.
—I’m up for whatever—
I replied in a low voice.
No one noticed the tremor in my voice. No one noticed the shadow growing in my chest.
Under the table, my claws were still there.
And in my head, sweet, charming Maria already had an ending: a punishment for touching what doesn’t belong to her.
In the darkness of my chest I knew one thing: Kieran was enjoying every damn second. And I couldn’t let that happen.
Because if something was mine, even if I denied it, even if I hated it… it was Kieran.
And no one else was going to touch him.
Because I couldn’t keep pretending any longer. Maria would never really understand Kieran; he’s not a piece that fits into her life. He wasn’t made for her.
He was made for me. For my darkness, for my fury, for my loneliness.
Because only I know Kieran. Better than anyone.
I know when he’s pretending, I know when he’s lying, I know how his gaze shifts when he’s about to lose his patience. And though everyone sees him as cold, reserved…
I know what’s behind him.
And that’s mine. Only mine.
Dinner continued, but for me the world had already stopped.
Everything was white noise, except them. Kieran and Maria.
In my head, the idea of her disappearing grew more tempting. More insistent.
Kieran doesn’t love her. I’m sure. He’s just being kind, because he’s kind. Because he doesn’t know how to say no. Because he’s still that damn noble idiot locked in an armor of sarcasm.
But if she touches him again… If she dares to kiss him, if she hugs him, if she looks at him with those eyes again…
I’ll remove her from his life. One way or another.
And no one will stop me.
Not even adorable Marcella.