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Jax and Pomni beamed at each other, proud of their efforts to annoy Zooble out of their room. And, if you asked them, they’d sounded pretty good all things considered.
They were only able to revel in their genius for a few brief moments before the door to Zooble’s room slammed open and Zooble stepped out with two extra arms. Which meant that, now, Pomni and Jax both had two guns pointed at them.
“Well, %$!#” Jax said, taking a cautious step backward.
Zooble didn’t bother saying anything, just clicking off the safety and letting hellfire rain down upon their enemy team.
But nothing happened.
The first sound actually made was Jax’s wheezing laughter. Pomni, who’d closed her eyes, slowly opened them to see what could have possibly gone wrong.
Somehow, none of Zooble’s guns had fired actual bullets. They all seemed to be joke guns of some kind, one shooting a bouquet of flowers, one shooting a small flag that said POW!, and two having mostly turned into feather dusters.
“Oh my God!” Jax was still doubled over, barely holding onto his gun as he cackled. “I forgot that I did that! This literally have not gone better for us, eh, Pom?”
Pomni shook her head in disbelief, giggling nervously at the murderous rage that was growing in Zooble’s eyes. “I can’t believe one of your stupid pranks actually worked out in our favour.”
“Stupid?! My pranks are genius!” Jax countered. “Right, Zooble?”
Zooble, having perfected the art of ignoring Jax a long time ago, didn’t answer him and seemed to come to a decision of their own.
“Alright, %$!# it.” They dropped the gun and the bouquet, leaving them with a feather duster in each hand. Then, they looked at Pomni and Jax with so much determination that Pomni almost forgot that they weren’t the one with the guns.
Clearly, Jax didn’t, because the moment Zooble took a step toward them he said, “Not so fast,” and lifted his gun, pulling the trigger until all that could be heard was the click of an empty chamber.
And not a single one hit Zooble. Through some insane, convoluted cartoonish physics that Pomni was still trying to understand, they launched themselves into the air, twisting in such a way that they managed to avoid every bullet. They stretched all four their arms out wide and tackled Pomni and Jax to the ground, knocking the unnecessary air out of their lungs.
Pomni scrambled to get a grip on her gun, but Zooble deftly knocked it aside, barely even sparing her a glance.
“What’re you even gonna do, Zooble? Dust us to death?” Jax rolled his eyes, but there was an undercurrent of nerves in his tone that Pomni had never heard before.
Zooble snorted, “Yeah, something like that.” They turned to Pomni and said, “You’re getting a firsthand demonstration of how we handle Jax after he pulls his little pranks. Plus, it’ll have the added bonus of taking you both out for a bit so I can recuperate.”
Yeah, Pomni was lost. “What are you—hey! Zooble that tihihihickles!”
Despite her struggling, Zooble firmly held Pomni down with their lower right arm, the upper arm fluttering the duster under her chin. It was gentle, affectionate, and the look Zooble fixed Pomni with bordered on fond.
“That’s kind of the point, Pomni,” Zooble said.
Pomni almost couldn’t hear them over the unholy screech Jax let out. It was some godawful combination of a pterodactyl and a howler monkey that grated on her ears and churned them into a fine dust.
“What are you dohohoing to him?!” Pomni demanded, because Jax sounded like he was actively being murdered.
What if Jax lost a heart from this? He’d still have one, sure, but Pomni didn’t like the idea of being left out here on her own.
Also, Zooble would never let him live it down.
“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Suddenly, Pomni could move. Not very much, but enough to twist onto her side to see what could possibly be making Jax cackle in what was currently a very spot-on imitation of a hyena.
Whatever Pomni had expected to see, it definitely wasn’t this: Jax was curled up as tightly as his body would allow, where she’d assumed that Jax would be kicking and flailing.
Actually, scratch that, Jax’s foot was thumping wildly on the ground. Pomni had read somewhere that bunnies mostly do that when they’re irritated or stressed.
Zooble must’ve notived her concerned expression because they leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry, he’ll never admit it, but he does this when he’s happy too.”
“Nohoho I DON’T—ZOOHOOHOOBLE!” Jax immediately tried to protest, but Zooble grabbed one of his ears from where he was trying to pin them flat against his head and slowly ran the feathers up and down, drawing another mirthful screech out of him.
“I hope you’re taking notes, Pomni,” Zooble said. “This is the best way to get Jax to fess up and/or apologize for whatever bull%$!# he’s pulled. You’re going to need it eventually.”
Now that Pomni was looking closer, there was something different about Jax’s smile. Typically, she could see the creases where it was just a bit too tense, a clear sign that it was pasted on solely for someone’s benefit.
This smile, though, was real. It was wide and bright and the sight of it softened something inside of Pomni. In that moment, she remembered that he was only twenty-two. The youngest member of the circus.
How long had he been here? How much of his life had he lost, trapped in this digital wonderland and bound to the whims of their manic ringleader?
“That’s enough of whatever you’re thinking,” Zooble said with an air of finality, bringing the duster down to Pomni’s stomach and sending her tumbling into bubbly giggles again.
“Wahait! Zooble plehehease—”
“Zoobs! Ack dohohohon’t!”
Their pleading overlapped, laughter echoing throughout the halls of the circus.
“You know, your voices aren’t half bad together,” Zooble conceded, a smug undertone creeping into their voice. “I mean, not when you’re begging for mercy, at least.”
“Ohohoho %$!# you!” Jax didn’t exactly have the right tone for the amount of bravado he was trying to exude, you know, due to the giggling, but Pomni admired the effort.
Zooble, apparently, did not. “Alright. How about I make you a deal? I’ll let you go if you can curse at me. Sound fair?”
No. That absolutely did not sound fair and they knew it. It was a constant source of ire that Pomni could be put through grueling, horrifying adventures, and still not be allowed to say fuck.
At least she could think it. Small mercies.
“%$!# off you mother%$!#ing %$!#hole!” Well, nobody could say that Jax didn’t give it his best shot.
Pomni had a different plan. “Zooble! Have mehehercy! Plehehease!” She made her eyes as big and sad as she could manage while laughing, and she could feel the moment Zooble faltered.
The feather dusters were still being weaponized against them, brushing up Pomni’s sides and across her ribs, sending her into bright laughter, and fluttering under Jax’s chin, drawing out squeaky giggles.
Still, they managed to catch each others eyes, and Jax quickly figured out what she was trying to do.
“I’m sorry!” Jax cried, flattening his ears even further and turning wide eyes up to his captor. “Zooble I’m sohohohorry! Let us gohohoho!”
And just like that, they were free.
Pomni looked at Zooble from where she and Jax were sprawled on the ground, and grinned when Zooble winked at her.
“Told you, it works every time,” they said. Then, “I need to get some guns that actually work. See you losers on the flip side!”
They took off running, not even bothering to spare a glance at the destruction they’d caused.
Jax was the first to recover, which made Pomni think that maybe this happened more often than she’d originally thought, and he hauled himself up to his feet. He then extended a hand down to help her up and, after a brief moment of hesitation, she accepted.
There was a chance that she held on for a little longer than she had too, and maybe she gave his hand a quick squeeze before she let go.
There was also a chance that Jax smiled at her. A small, genuine thing that she’s pretty sure actually lit up the room a bit with its glow.
“Alright,” Jax said, cracking his knuckles, “You ready to go kill Zooble?”
Pomni could feel her evil grin sliding back into place as she found her discarded gun on the floor. Lucky her, there were still a few bullets in it.
She handed a couple over to Jax. “%$!# yeah I am.”
The circus might be bizarre and utterly terrifying, but if Pomni was going to be trapped anywhere, maybe here wasn’t such a bad place.
At least she had some pretty cool friends to rely on.