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1.
It had been an accident. An honest to god accident.
Shirabu honestly didn't think that going to the club room early would have its repercussions. But alas it did, and here he is, sitting in the changing room with an awkward image seared to the back of his mind. His head is clanging with an image of Semi, his hands curling around a ball like how they would've naturally cupped a person's cheeks. His eyes burned with an intensity that could not be doused: a fiery want and desire. Semi's lips had first been set into a straight line, jaws hardened as he concentrated.
Shirabu had no doubts that Semi had been trying to communicate something with the sheer force of eye power. Something passionate, something wild and-
It had been so… intimate.
Shirabu remembers every single detail as he had stood there, watching as Semi's lips began to move, each syllable leaving his lips with purpose. And in Shirabu's little mind, he hears Semi say it over and over and over again. Like a church bell ringing, loud and powerful: Hey, I really like you.
"I think I broke Semi-san," Shirabu says to no one in particular. He wonders if the quickest way out of this replay is through a quick slam to the head, and he thinks he can arrange it with Ushijima to accidentally spike him from across the court.
The changing room remains quiet as no one replies to his plight; there are only two people there but still, some response would have been nice. He hears small jittering noises again and lets out a groan. Shirabu turns to Kawanishi and elbows him in the side. "Are you even listening?"
Kawanishi looks up from his DS console, lollipop clacking against his teeth as he rolls the round candy around in his mouth. "Hnn?"
"He would've kissed the ball," Shirabu says, distressed. And completely weirded out. He won't lie - it had been a disturbing experience.
"Do you play Animal Crossing?" Kawanishi replies. He stares back at his console, long fingers jostling the buttons around.
"Being taken out as a starting player broke him."
"I need an orange."
Shirabu punches him in the arm, soft and flimsy. "You're not listening."
"Says who?" Kawanishi snorts. He peers over the top of his console and repeats Shirabu's words in a whiny mimicry that makes Shirabu's ears turn red. It earns Kawanishi another punch to the shoulder.
Shirabu groans; he just wants to forget everything. He rubs his arms absently as he starts to feel his skin prick with the uncomfortable sensation that comes with remembering Semi and the volleyball. He has to stop from jumping out of his seat when he hears the doorknob turn and said person appears.
The door cracks open for a bit as Semi peers in, eyes scanning until he zeroes in on Shirabu. He slips in cautiously before closing the door behind him firmly. Shirabu is a little worried that Semi might lock them in with him. Kawanishi looks on blankly.
"Shirabu," Semi says a little loudly, and he winces at his own volume. He coughs and clears his throat. He glances at Kawanishi and then back at Shirabu; two pairs of expressionless faces giving him the kind of undivided attention he doesn't want.
The Animal Crossing soundtrack plays softly in the background. Kawanishi clicks his teeth on his candy. Semi looks at him sourly.
"Yes?" Shirabu says mildly and there's no missing the way Semi's ears turn all crimson before the colours bleeds down his face and his neck.
"Uh, you know. It's about the thing just now? I think. You were by the door and all," Semi says awkwardly. His face is glowing with hot embarrassment and he's starting to trip over his words. Shirabu can hear voices passing by in the hall way and as he listened even harder, he could've sworn he heard himself scream internally for the next twenty years because, well, shit, I've been caught.
"Did something happen?" Shirabu lies blatantly with a straight face. Next to him, Kawanishi snorts and Shirabu steps on his friend's shoe. He locks eye contact with Semi and a knowing message passes between the two.
"No," Semi says slowly. He nods once, a little bothered and then once more with more confidence. "Did you need me for something?"
Shirabu shrugs. "Nothing important. Do you need me for anything?"
He really doesn't intend to be the sneaky rascal but it's in his blood to sass - he can't help it. He knows it because Semi's nostrils flare in irritation before his face twists to something tired. He flaps a hand before turning to go. He stops as he twists the door knob and turns around once more.
"Hey, can I have that?" Semi says and then points at the stick hanging out of Kawanishi's mouth.
"What?"
"Can I?"
Kawanishi looks confused but pulls the candy out and offers it to him, too bewildered to even keep in check what exactly is happening.
Semi takes it and pops it into his mouth. "Thanks," he says and Kawanishi just looks really baffled. "It helps with the nerves," Semi adds before sheepishly making his getaway.
-
2.
Running into Semi had been bad enough but seeing Tendou with a mop, waltzing around the changing room, is an out-of-this-world experience. One that Shirabu hopes to never experience again.
He stands by the doorway as Tendou sways across the room beyond the benches, oblivious to the new intruder. Shirabu's jaw unhinges as Tendou twirls the mop once. Twice. Three times and then fails to catch it on the third twirl.
The mop clutters to the ground loudly, wood knocking against the cement and Shirabu feels himself break out into cold shivers. He watches as Tendou kneels over the mop and takes it into his loving hands. The red head cards his fingers through the mop tangles.
And while time probably flowed as it did, Shirabu hears the next words in slow motion and high definition.
"Did that hurt, Eita-kun?" Tendou croons as he brushes off the dust from the mop with a strange gentleness that goes against everything Tendou stands for. He looks at the mop with heart eyes, love practically oozing from his gaze and Shirabu finds himself so enthralled - enraptured - by this mushy display of infatuation.
It takes him thirty seconds to snap out of it.
The smart thing to do is probably to run far, far away and pretend he saw nothing. Shirabu prides himself in his ability to appear stoic and collected. He'd pull it off so well, no one would suspect him. Tendou would never know about his eye witness. No one would speak of it again and they'd all continue to live, happy and unmarred.
But Shirabu is too stunned, and his frazzled mind isn't functioning as well as it is supposed to be. Instead he reaches one hand over and pinches himself hard. He flinches in pain, and lets out a string of swear words and then a yell of surprise as Ushijima speaks up from behind him.
"Why do you pinch yourself?" Ushijima says a little too loudly, and Tendou, spurred into motion, jerks from across the room, knee ramming into a locker. He looks up from beyond the benches, eyes empty and blank - like Shirabu's soul. He waves at them as the red slowly spreads across his skin. "Hi."
"Hello," Ushijima says. He returns the wave, oblivious. Shirabu wants to die.
"How long have you guys been standing?"
"Not long," Shirabu quips. Fast, calm and collected. Nice save, he thinks.
"For a while," Ushijima says.
Shirabu wants the heavens to take him.
***
Goshiki won't let go. In fact, they both won't let go.
"Goshiki," Shirabu grits as he tightens his grip. "Let go."
"I need it!"
"I'm older than you," he grapples. He pulls at the mop once more and Goshiki slips a little.
"Ushijima-senpai managed to mop the changing room within fifteen minutes last week," the younger one complains. "I need to be just as good."
It annoys Shirabu how Goshiki is taller than him. From this angle, he can see the perfect straight of Goshiki's bangs and it looks so... Shirabu frowns. He doesn't know why Tendou thinks it's cool because it's not.
And as if hit by epiphany, Shirabu lets out a loud gasp. He gets a flashback of Tendou waltzing around the changing room with the very same mop and he lets go immediately. Goshiki stumbles back in surprise and then his face glows with victory.
Goshiki waves the mop in the air. "Thank you, Shirabu-senpai! I won't let you down!" he yells.
"Don't worry about it," Shirabu grunts and pushes him away. He can practically see the litany of exclamation marks hanging off his sentences, but for his sanity, he chooses to ignore it. He doesn't understand why Goshiki has to be so loud but he thinks it must be a self confidence issue.
Shirabu leaves the storage room and walks onto the courts, just in time to see Tendou deliver a smack across Semi's ass. It gets even more handsy, with Semi shoving at Tendou's head only to grab a fistful of hair, while Tendou catches the other's arm. Shirabu curses his luck and is about to retreat back into the mop closet but as always, he gets caught.
When Tendou and Semi both notice him there, he brings up his hands to cover his eyes.
"I didn't see anything," he lies.
-
3.
Shiratorizawa is a rich school. No one denies it. They even have horses.
That's why no one expects a blackout to happen - because they're not a poor school and they can definitely afford electricity. This is why Tendou thinks it's a monumental cornerstone of Shiratorizawa's history. It's a turning point, according to Tendou. Although it seems like he's still trying to figure out the rest of that line of thought.
They had been in the middle of practice when the lights went down. Their game had been put on hold, because it's honestly a little too dark to see anything in their windowless gym. Had they kept at it, there's a high chance that some of them would leave with a bloody nose or a loose tooth.
They huddle around the benches, with Semi picking at his nails and Kawanishi staring off into space. Goshiki takes a seat next to Kawanishi and Tendou next to Semi. Shirabu sits on the floor with everyone else.
"Can we go back to the dorms?" Kawanishi asks.
Semi nudges him. "Coach will break both your legs off for skiving."
"Maybe we should use this time for team bonding?" Goshiki suggests. He makes a weird gesture with his hands. "You know, until the lights come back on."
Oohira claps him on the back. Or attempts to, anyway. It's not easy when one of them is on the floor. "That's a noble idea. Why don't you start?"
Shirabu knows Goshiki immediately regrets his life choices when he makes a sound like a dying horse. "How about we just… talk?"
"Sure," Yamagata says distractedly. He pats the floor around him and then taps Semi on the knee. "Did I leave my phone up there?"
There's a twisting and bumping and Shirabu can see how touchy both Tendou and Semi are as they feel around for Yamagata's phone. Tendou yelps once.
"Oooh, cheeky," Tendou smirks. "That was my ass, Eita-kun."
"Why is he touching your ass? I thought we were looking for Yamagata's phone?" Ushijima asks, ever unhelpful and just as confused. The atmosphere grows a little awkward in the room and Goshiki flounders for a quick save.
"What do you like about new year's?" Goshiki says randomly. He presses against Kawanishi and peers up at the taller boy as if he'd have something interesting to say. He doesn't - normally doesn't - but he just had the misfortune to sit next to Goshiki.
Kawanishi ponders about it for a few moments before he says," The kotatsu. And napping." And then to organise his thoughts, he rephrases himself," Napping under the kotatsu."
"You're pretty boring, aren't you?" Tendou says.
Kawanishi blinks. He replies, unfazed," Boring is a lifestyle, Tendou-san."
While Tendou truly never loses, there is always one person who gets the better of him every time. It would be more accurate to say, 'Tendou loses sometimes whereas Kawanishi never loses'. The small banter has Tendou pouting and Semi pats him on the leg.
"I like the idea of new beginnings," Ushijima offers when Tendou starts to visibly fish for a snippy, smart-ass response.
"Poetic," Semi comments.
"What about you, Semi-san?" Goshiki asks. He jitters in his seat and leans into Kawanishi's breathing space. Kawanishi sneezes once.
"Shrines, I guess."
"Now you're being romantic," Tendou says. He slings an arm around Semi's neck, pulling him in for a side embrace and away from Kawanishi. Shirabu can't tell if it's supposed to be platonic or romantic but either way, he catches Goshiki staring, face turning crimson - or something similar to that since it's almost too dark to tell.
"I LIKE FINDING OUT MY LUCK ON NEW YEAR'S DAY," Goshiki yells suddenly.
"My ear," Kawanishi prompts and Goshiki scoots away apologetically.
In subtext, Shirabu reads 'omikujis ftw'. He pegs another reason to his growing list of reasons why Goshiki is unreasonably loud: maybe he's flustered.
They continue on like that for awhile, even roping in the reserve players and bench warmers. But the blackout is short-lived. The lights come back on before they're able to make a full circuit around the entire team. Shirabu stands up to dust himself when Goshiki looks up at him almost sheepishly. His face is definitely pink. "What do you like about new year's?"
It's only by luck (or misfortune) that Shirabu glances off to his side and sees that both Tendou and Semi gently nudging each other with their pinky fingers. They're still sitting by the benches while Yamagata looks for his phone, Tendou bends to whisper something to Semi. Semi ducks once, giggles and then he gets up.
"Oranges," Shirabu says distractedly. He takes Goshiki by the neck and steers him away before the latter turns pinker.
The gears in Shirabu's head start to turn as all the outrageous displays slowly fall into place. They're in love with each other, Shirabu thinks. He makes a face. They're so obvious in love, but of course they don't realise it.
Goshiki prods him on the shoulder. "Shirabu-senpai, your face is weird."
Shirabu pinches him on the arm. "Say that again."
-
4.
Shirabu has friends. He has a discernible number of friends, really. He's on really good terms with Ogata from class and even Miko-chan from the class over. But what he really needs right now, is intellectual insight. There's no one better to ask than Kawanishi.
Shirabu spots Kawanishi the next day by the vending machines. He slithers over, trying to be extra stealthy in case Tendou or Semi may be watching.
"Psst. Taichi, I think-"
"Shhh, don't speak," Kawanishi murmurs, fingers rubbing at his chin. "One moment, please. I'm having a crisis."
Shirabu looks at him, disgruntled. He doesn't really have time for this.
"I can't decide between orange juice and apple juice today," Kawanishi says, a little dazed. His lips twitch a little, a giveaway sign of his frustration.
"What-"
"I prefer orange juice," Kawanishi states, promptly cutting off his friend. He pins Shirabu with a gaze that implies that it's information Shirabu needs to know.
"Get orange juice then-"
"But today doesn't feel like an orange juice kind of day."
Shirabu has to stifle the weird bubble of laughter that starts in his chest. Kawanishi always had the strangest things to say. It shouldn't surprise him anymore - the amount of nonsense that sticks around in Kawanishi's brain.
"What exactly does an Orange Juice kind of day, feel like?" Shirabu snorts.
Kawanishi turns to him, lips twisted to the side in a kind of exasperation. He makes a gesture and says bluntly, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "You know." More vague gestures. "Orangey."
"Nope," Shirabu says unimpressed. He jabs his finger on the green button below the orange juice and Kawanishi makes a strangled sort of sound.
"You did not."
The carton tumbles into the collection bin and Kawanishi lets out a grunt as he bends over, all 188cm of him stooping down to a crouch.
He inspects the carton in his hands, turning it over and checking the expiry date before he pops the seal with his straw. "What's up?"
"I think we have a serious case of mutual pining on the team," Shirabu says seriously.
Kawanishi just stares at him.
"Tendou-san and Semi-san have been at it for days now."
"Really?"
"Remember the blackout?"
Kawanishi sucks on his juice thoughtfully. "Uhm… Not really."
"Taichi, it was just yesterday," Shirabu says exasperated. "The volleyball. The mop. The blackout. The ass touching?"
Kawanishi lets go of the straw, considers it thoughtfully before shrugging. "Isn't that commonplace between them?"
"We don't do that."
"There's a difference between their friendship and ours. For instance, I'm not likely to pinch your ass no matter the circumstances. Unless you want me to."
"Isn't that my point?"
"No, the point is: I think it's just casual friendship between them."
Shirabu gives him the stink eye.
"Tendou-san named the storage mop after Semi-san."
"That is concerning," Kawanishi concedes.
Shirabu huffs. "It's painful and devastating to watch them pine after each other. I'm going to make them confess to each other," he says derisively. He kicks a pebble to show his displeasure.
"Sounds troublesome," Kawanishi comments as he chews on his straw from the side of his mouth.
"You're going to help me."
"Now it sounds troublesome and inconvenient." And anyone who knows Kawanishi well enough would know that he is the least likely to get involved in things that didn't concern him directly. Kawanishi hums a little as he contemplates. "What do I get for helping?"
"My sanity."
Kawanishi flicks him on the forehead gently. "Try again."
"My eternal love and appreciation?"
Without missing a beat, Kawanishi bargains," How about you do my homework?"
"You're in a better class, Taichi. You're smarter."
"Doesn't matter. People like me still get the kicks out of others doing homework for them."
Shirabu frowns. "Sneaky people?"
Kawanishi flicks him on the forehead once more. Shirabu scrunches his nose, annoyed. "Try 'lazy'."
Shirabu makes a face and Kawanishi just snorts. "I was kidding. So what's the plan?"
-
5.
There is no plan - they're going to wing it. But Shirabu finds his first opportunity quickly enough.
The clubroom is not usually this noisy, but Goshiki's voice is amped ten times louder than it usually is and Tendou is screeching somewhere further back in the room. He weighs the number of extra rounds Coach Washijou would make him run against missing practice - he decides it's not worth it to return to his dorm. He finds Ushijima, Oohira and Yamagata poring over a piece of paper by the only table in the room. He goes over to join them.
"Why are they so noisy?" he asks as he dumps his shoulder bag onto the floor.
Oohira gives him a small smile. "They're excited."
Yamagata looks up at him and grins, all teeth. His hand is absently patting at away at his back pocket. Shirabu can bet his ass that he's looking for his phone. "Apparently we have leftover cash from the VBC funds. Coach Washijou gave us the OK to go use them for team bonding."
"That's nice," Shirabu says. He takes a glance at the list. There's a lot of garbage on it even though the planning had been left to the more level headed people. He spots a wonky drawing of Doraemon on the side and a stickman representation of Semi shoving Tendou down a tuba. It doesn't take Shirabu more than three seconds to guess who did what. They have such a love-hate relationship, Shirabu just doesn't understand.
"Do you have a suggestion?" Ushijima asks. He hands Shirabu the list and it flatters Shirabu that Ushijima Wakatoshi, super ace, values his opinion. He scans the list and cringes inwardly when he reads the listed options.
1. Tower Of Terror
2. Haunted House
3. Mirror Maze
4. Options 1-3 are all found at an amusement park. Maybe we should write Amusement Park instead. Are you actually writing your own inner monologue, Wakatoshi-kun? No. Sorry.
5. A camping trip
6. The public library. Most members do not own a public library membership card. We will use the- Wakatoshi, no.
7. Picnic Taichi's not good with flowers. It makes his nose run.
8. The gym. A group workout. Wakatoshi, pls.
Shirabu looks up from the page with genuine, abject terror on his face. He waves the paper in front of them, at a loss for words. He reads the comments both Semi and Tendou have left behind and he just. He opens his mouth once but finds that he has nothing to say. He's not sure what to even expect anymore.
"What do you think?" Ushijima says.
"We probably need something more… concrete," Oohira laughs. He points at the list. "I think we're lacking a lot of realistic options."
"Is the library not realistic enough?"
"No one wants to go to the library," Yamagata complains. "Even Eita wouldn't want to and he's a nerd."
"If he's a nerd, why is he in Class 1?" Tendou pipes.
"How about a movie?" Shirabu offers faintly and everyone looks at him as if he just showed them the way to nirvana. Oohira takes the sheet back and hastily scribbles it in.
***
They can't decide where to go.
Ushijima lists everything on the black board at the back of the club room. After a lot of squabbling and insistence, the list funnels to a measly count of three options:
1. Amusement Park
2. The library
3. The movies
"Amusement park!" Tendou yells and Goshiki claps supportively.
"Roller coasters!" Goshiki adds. He gives Tendou a high five, purely for the sake of the dual disaster that they're causing. Shirabu wants to put them in a box and bury them alive. But even Semi looks excited.
"Roller coasters…" Ushijima repeats a few times over, slowly as he turns the idea over in his head. Shirabu vaguely remembers Tendou's scribble comment about inner monologues.
Yamagata tilts his head. "You do know what that is, right?"
Ushijima blinks slowly. "That thing that goes up very high and then drops at an alarming and unsafe rate. It makes your heart explode out of your chest."
"Not that gory, big guy," Yamagata quips helpfully.
There's some silence as Ushijima lets Yamagata's words sink in. He looks uncertain, and completely unconvinced. He eyes the library option wistfully, worrying his lower lip raw.
It's almost a dead giveaway that the amusement park would be the majority's choice. But of course there is always one person who likes to run against Tendou.
"I'm scared of heights," Kawanishi says from somewhere in the room and the cheering stops immediately.
Tendou gives him this googly stare, lips curling into something astonished and probably annoyed. "Does it scare you when you stand up? I mean, your face is about 170cm off the ground."
"I get dizzying amounts of nausea, yeah."
"That sounds terrifying, Taichi."
The sarcasm is strong on both ends but Ushijima never really learnt to read the atmosphere. The banter is cut short when Ushijima crosses the words off the list, face set into something determined and ghostly pale. "I'm scared of heights too," he says, and the case was closed.
***
They end up at the movies. It's not that hard to wager between the library and the movies; it had been a losing battle right from the start. Ushijima isn't exactly the happiest, but he does his best to conceal any kind of dissatisfaction.
His dissatisfaction only shows when they reach the cinemas to find out most shows had sold out leaving the horror film the only viable option. His forehead wrinkles show as he furrows his eyebrows, annoyed.
"This is not good," Ushijima says flatly.
"I bet ¥500 that Eita-kun will shit his pants," Tendou leers. He pops open his wallet to pull out the coin, goading Semi with it.
"Prepare to eat dirt, noodle boy," Semi hisses back. And it's back to the touching and the shoving and the squealing. Shirabu makes a pointed effort to look away.
"Are you sure?" Ushijima says and Reon gives him a supportive pat. Yamagata punches him in the arm. Shirabu wants to get away for some peace and quiet. He scans the crowd but Kawanishi isn't there yet - they all live in the dorms but don't make the effort to even come down together. On that note, Goshiki is missing too.
"I can buy the tickets," Shirabu says and Ushijima, distracted, just hands him the money. He needs some quiet time to think.
He slips away to the counter before getting eight tickets. The screen below the glass table comes to life and shows him the available rows. It's almost a full house - there are too many blocks of grey scattered across the floor plan. The lady at the counter smiles at him and motions for him to choose a seat. An idea starts to take root as he counts the number of available seats in the middle aisle: there's one empty row available; it seats up to a maximum of six people.
It's a small theatre. He splits them, 4-4.
When he gets back to the group, Kawanishi and Goshiki are there. He holds out the tickets and hands them out to everybody like a teacher assigning kids their seat numbers. In some ways, the analogy isn't really wrong.
"Why am I separated?" Semi asks. He loops back and checks against Yamagata and Ushijima, and then he shoots Shirabu a dull look. "You don't seriously hate me enough to actually make me sit alone, do you?"
"No," Shirabu clips. "The cinema's almost packed so I separated us into two groups of fours."
"So I'm with…?" Semi trails off quizzically.
"You're with me. And Tendou-san and Taichi," Shirabu says carefully. He can feel Kawanishi staring at him.
"So it's a middleblocker and setter thing?" Ushijima asks. And whereas it isn't meant to be like that, Shirabu just goes with it. Semi isn't wrong when he says Ushijima thinks of nothing but volleyball. Shirabu bets Ushijima is the type of person to try and spell out 'volleyball' with the letters in a tin of alphabet soup.
"Something like that, yes."
"I don't think I want to watch a horror movie sitting next to Taichi," Tendou says witheringly. He glances at Kawanishi who has his head cocked to the side.
"Aww, why not?" Kawanishi croons emotionlessly.
"I don't really want to sit next to you," Shirabu says in Tendou's direction. He knows he's being disrespectful but what's a little banter between friends.
"That's not okay, but I'm fine with Eita-kun," Tendou sniffs. He slings an arm around Semi and the other boy doesn't even blink. "We're a match made in heaven."
This time Semi does react. He shoves his palm against Tendou's cheek. "Don't push it, dipshit."
They don't realise until much later, when they're in the cinema that the four of them aren't even in the same row. Shirabu strategically gets Semi and Tendou seats 4E and 4F while Kawanishi and Shirabu take 3E and 3F respectively.
From this position, Shirabu can see everything. Everything being Semi and Tendou.
***
Shirabu pays attention to the first thirty minutes of the film but promptly gives up when Tendou and Semi keep shifting around in their seats.
Kawanishi and Shirabu both lean in on the partitioning armrest, scrutinizing their upperclass men.
"Are you sure they're in love," Kawanishi whispers into his left ear. They both watch as Semi takes a fistful of popcorn and flings it at Tendou, scattering them all over Tendou's lap and getting some stuck in his hair. "They don't look like they're in love to me."
The next thirty minutes of the movie goes on like that - with Shirabu and Kawanishi watching them. They watch as Tendou stuffs a popcorn into each nostril and then shoot it two rows down by sneezing. They watch as Semi puts one in Tendou's ear. They watch as Tendou and Semi accidentally knock elbows on the armrest; it could have turned into something cute and romantic (Shirabu thinks this begrudgingly) but they start shoving each other off the armrest, each trying to win the space for themselves.
Kawanishi sighs about four times throughout the entire watch and Shirabu wish he could be just as vocal about his irritation.
In the film, the soundtrack starts up something loud and daunting as the kid starts to make her way around the house, flashlight flickering. Somewhere, the door creaks and the girl lets out a harsh breath. Shirabu vaguely registers as she calls out a shaky greeting, a 'who's there?' and then proceeds to climb the stairs.
He doesn't really know what happens in the film, he's too focused on his upper-class men. He knows Kawanishi is too, because they both jerk simultaneously in their seat once Tendou jumps and opens his mouth to do some reaction-delayed screaming.
"Jesus," Kawanishi gasps, hand over his heart. "That scared the living lights out of me."
Semi is laughing in the seat in front. He nudges Tendou once and the latter cowers in fear.
Somewhere from the front, they hear Ushijima call out," Are you alright, Tendou?" and then a little softer "Wakatoshi, shhhhh."
And then it happens - it finally happens and Shirabu mentally punches the air in triumph. Semi pulls up the dividing armrest, sliding it into the gap between the two chairs. To get a better view, Shirabu stands slightly, and watches as Semi pulls Tendou in against him, hand reaching out to…!
Shirabu watches in irked disappointment when Semi's fingers curl around Tendou's wrist.
He flops back onto his seat, and lets out a low growl. They should just hold hands and start smooching in the dark lighting, he thinks bluntly.
"How'd it go?" Kawanishi asks, an eyebrow arched. Shirabu doesn't really know what to say, so he reaches out and grabs Kawanishi's wrist and gives it an angry squeeze.
***
When the movie is over, Goshiki looks ten shades paler than when he had arrived. He looks ready to pass out any moment.
"How was the film?" Oohira asks. He supports Goshiki. Shirabu can't tell if Goshiki's more on the green 'I-think-I'm-going-to-be-sick' side or the white 'I'm-barely-breathing' side.
"They need to step up their game," Shirabu mutters bitterly. He's too distracted and doesn't even realise Oohira had been asking about the film. He didn't get to see the rest of Tendou and Semi's public displays of almost-affection, but if the first hour had been telling, then they probably did nothing remotely romantic thereafter.
Yamagata grins at him and then hits him in the small of his back. "That's the spirit, Kenjirou!"
Goshiki passes out cold.
-
6.
Shirabu doesn't understand why they do it. It's not like they've ever done it. Or anyone else for that matter. He reshuffles the coloured paper in his hands and the box of fancy décor. Something jingles in the box and Shirabu's starting to doubt that they're just there to decorate a notice board. A notice board that no one notices. He glances at Kawanishi who's holding a bunch of rolled up papers - he looks bored and disinterested. Nothing new there.
When they reach the board, it is as shoddy and neglected as ever. The dust that have settled on the frames are layers thick, and the posters attached date back to 3 years ago. Shirabu places his things on a side table before noticing a wooden box.
Or a makeshift wooden box, to be exact. It's plastic; plastic with wood patterns printed on the sides. Shirabu can tell because the side that's been facing outwards has faded into a kind of transparency, it's also a bit sticky where it has melted under the beating rays.
"What do you think?" Kawanishi asks. He unfurls one of the rolled up papers, dangles it in front of Shirabu's face and wiggles it. There are a bunch of crudely drawn people all over the page with a large "SHIRATOZAWA" ensconced at the top of the paper. The missing 'ri' is forced in through a carrot head. "Should we use Tendou-san's design?"
Shirabu gives him a lazy glance. He tries to communicate ' I don't really care' but he finds that Kawanishi isn't even paying attention to him.
Kawanishi snorts as he points to a particularly large person in the centre of the paper, complete with brown hair, angry eyes and sea slug brows. The person looks like a turnip - oddly shaped body that's too broad at the chest and spindly legs that can pass off as turnip roots. Kawanishi jabs his finger at it again and lets out an undignified snort, obviously fighting to keep his laughter in. "Ushijima-san," he says seriously, before laughing unrestrained.
The laughter is contagious. Shirabu finds himself biting his lower lip as he stops rifling through the box of ornaments (Christmas baubles, garlands, fairy lights - he's not sure if these used to be someone's discarded Christmas decorations). He looks up to take a better look at the Turnip Man when something else catches his eyes. Shirabu wrenches the poster free from Kawanishi's hand.
"Careful! We might tear it!" Kawanishi wheezes. He wipes his eyes to brush away the tears. (Shirabu has a split second thought about how nice Kawanishi sounds when he laughs.)
Shirabu scrutinizes the picture, eyes zeroing in on this lanky punk with bangs brushed off to the side, accentuated with ruler-straight brown lines. He lets out an indignant squawk. "Is this supposed to be me?"
Kawanishi peers over his shoulders and comes undone all over again. He thumps his forehead against Shirabu's shoulder, body shaking with silent laughter. When he's calmed down enough, he raises his head, and points, finger brushes past Shirabu to angle at another even lankier kid with angry eyes and haywire hair. "He looks like a corn cob with too much corn silk."
"That looks like Semi-san," Shirabu laughs. He glances around the picture some more, spotting a bulky Oohira, Tendou's self portrait with his limbs bending at angles that bones cannot and- " Why are there two Semi-sans on this poster?" Shirabu frowns.
As if to enlighten them of their plight and confusion, Tendou comes swooping in from around the corner, running into Kawanishi and slinging an arm around him. "How's it going?" he hints at them with a mischievous grin.
"You have natural talent," Kawanishi says. He points at the poster. "Beautiful."
"Aww, you flatter me Taichi," Tendou chuckles. He unhooks his arm but pulls Kawanishi's head down to ruffle at his hair. All sarcasm was lost on him. He nods proudly at his handiwork. "I made Eita-kun look especially vicious in this poster."
"You mean the corn cob?" Kawanishi points to the taller of the two Semis.
"Taichi, that's you," Tendou says flatly, and all the amusement in Kawanishi's eyes dim out, replaced with the look of a dead soul. Maybe, for once, Tendou does win.
"You got my hair colour wrong…?" Kawanishi is in disbelief but even Shirabu finds it hard to make a mistake that obvious.
Tendou swipes the poster from Shirabu's hand. "I ran out of yellow colour pencils."
Tendou starts pulling off the thumbtacks and staples, picking at them with untrimmed nails. Blindly reaching for a place to put the stray papers, Tendou accidentally knocks his wrist against the wooden (plastic) box, sending it tumbling to the floor.
Shirabu picks it up. He shakes it once, but it's empty. "What is this anyway?" And then, as he unsticks his thumbs from the melted side," Can we trash it?"
"A dedication box and no," Tendou says.
"Do people actually use this? Who even comes here? I've hardly been."
"Oh, just our fans."
Kawanishi blanches. "Fans?" he echoes.
"Our support squad!" Tendou grins, chesire smile curling his lips. And then a little more sinister. "You know, the cheerleaders and the pretty girls. And Eita-kun's admirers."
"You make it sound as if Semi-san's admirers aren't pretty," Shirabu comments.
"Oh, they are! They're pretty ugly," Tendou says through a hiss, eyes narrowing in a show of supreme irritation. He gives his poster a firm pat to emphasize his point. Shirabu can't tell if Tendou is jealous of the girls or Semi, but if anything is an indication, Shirabu guesses it's the former. It's almost ridiculous how much his two upper-class men are dancing around the topic of mutual attraction.
Tendou turns around. "Should we put the garlands next?"
By the time they're done, the notice board is shimmering in all colours that are in zero resemblance to Shiratorizawa.
Shirabu finds that he doesn't care.
-
7.
It's black and flaky. Really brittle. And… well.
"Double chocolate chip cookies," Kawanishi hazards.
"Without the 'cookies' part," Semi says sheepishly. He shakes the polyethylene bag in his hands and the contents make soft whispering sounds as they shift. "Care to try one?"
"So, like chocolate chips?"
"Chocolates, actually."
Shirabu picks at a piece before it cracks and breaks into small flakes.
"Looks dangerous."
"I need taste testers for valentine's day," Semi says dejectedly. He glares pointedly at the charcoal bits as if it were their fault he was failing at it. "I've never tried baking before."
"Evidently," Shirabu offers as he flicks the bag. A whole chunk breaks off and falls apart like carbon dust.
"You're really not cute at all," Semi grumbles as he pulls his burnt chocolates away from the offending second years. He's loud enough for others to listen in on; Goshiki turns in his place by the lockers, getting curious and curiouser.
Shirabu makes a face. "I'll pass."
"What about you, Taichi?"
"I kind of really want to live to see another day."
Semi turns around. He jingles the bag and holds it, arms outstretched in an offering. "Wanna give it a try, Tsutomu?"
And even though Goshiki is eager to impress, eyes bright like the birth of a new day - even he can't miss the foul and toxic aura that just radiates from Semi's hands. He visibly flinches, eyes narrowing as he winces. Goshiki takes a hesitant step away, mouth opening to decline but for once, Ushijima's timing is impeccable, and the minute he walks into the changing room, Semi rounds on him.
"Wakatoshi! I need your help."
While it is common to say that Ushijima, super ace, is strong both in mind and body, Shirabu finds out on that fateful day that even power machines like Ushijima are not completely infallible nor fool proof. The same can be said about Goshiki who thinks it's his duty to take Ushijima up on every challenge, whether implied or not.
They both miss practice due to stomach discomfort.
***
"I'm still not sure why we're doing this," Kawanishi says as he watches Shirabu fork out all his small change and loose notes (there are no notes). He starts to pull his own wallet out from his back pocket as he counts ahead the amount of change Shirabu managed to produce.
They (read Shirabu) had decided to take a detour to the school convenient store after practice to salvage a few chocolate pieces. In Shirabu's head, the next plan quickly falls into place and it involves leaving chocolates and love notes in shoe lockers.
When they get there, they're lucky enough to find a smattering of leftover, overpriced chocolate. Clearly the student body has been preparing for valentine's day - most quality brands are gone. Handmade chocolate must have gone out of style when he hadn't been looking.
"They're driving me insane," he grumbles in response. He's short of ¥180. "Or they might accidentally kill us in collateral damage." He shudders as he remembers the flaky chocolate. He's not sure how wrong you can go with chocolate, but Shirabu isn't even surprised anymore. When it comes to Tendou and Semi, anything and everything can go wrong. Murphy's Law, version TenSemi.
"Maybe we should go for a cheaper brand."
"Taichi," Shirabu tuts. He looks up and sweeps his fringe to the side. Kawanishi's eyes glance off. "The impact is lost if we don't get them Hershey's Kisses."
Kawanishi lifts a finger as if to make a point but Shirabu beats him to it. "Kisses, Taichi. Chu chu," he deadpans.
"Okay, stop," Kawanishi groans as he shoves at Shirabu's face. He slides out the missing ¥180 before handing the money to the cashier.
She rings them up quickly, pulling out a carrier from behind the counter. To Shirabu's horror, the cashier is a student, he recognizes her from Physics class. He feels his face turn pink as she eyes them curiously.
"Are you both a couple?" she asks, unabashedly and Shirabu feels face flush crimson. She giggles behind a hand.
"No," Shirabu hisses. And then as an added thought," You're not going to tell anyone about what you saw or heard." Because he knows what will happen if she lets her mouth run a little long in a casual conversation with her friends.
He takes the plastic bag from the her, and walks away swiftly, fingers curling around Kawanishi's wrist as he pulls him along.
-
8.
They're up at the crack of dawn, before most students wake up and just after the guards lift the gates barricading the stairs. Kawanishi looks as if someone had dragged him across the road, grating his face and hair on the gravel. Shirabu can't complain - he's probably no better himself. When it comes down to it, neither of them are morning people. Shirabu needs an hour of stony silence and a bar of Soyjoy before he can even function.
They make their way over to school, slipping out of the dorms and past the garden walkway. The morning mist is thick and cool, and Shirabu shivers, involuntarily side-stepping a little closer to Kawanishi until there's close to no space between them. He leeches on Kawanishi's body heat and stifles a yawn.
When they reach the school building, they move quickly. The plan, to reinstate as it had been, is to leave anonymous confession cards and chocolates into Tendou and Semi's shoe locker. Shirabu had spent all night trying to type out a love letter for Tendou (while Kawanishi toiled at Semi's) and the best he could come up with had been a pathetic three liner:
Hi.
I really like you.
I think we should get together.
Your hair is stunning.
- Your Secret Admirer
He had then spent the next hour trying to work the printers in the printing room because obviously they just had to fail during such a crucial point in time.
They're really in no rush, but they don't want to get caught in the act anyway. It would lead to too many undesirable outcomes if they were to be found out; one of them being the possibility in which everyone thinks he has a crush on Tendou.
He slips the note in as well as the small bag of Hershey Kisses, tied up nicely with a ribbon - red to match Tendou's hair. He's not sure where he's going with this idea but he thinks it has something to do with making Semi and Tendou jealous. Something like that. His brain isn't exactly in tip top condition right now.
They split off once they reach their class floor and spend the rest of the morning sleeping in class.
***
"Someone left something in the dedication box," Kawanishi says as he comes into the changing room, yawning. He bows a little as he greets some of the third years.
Tendou looks up, beaming. "Who's it for?"
"Goshiki," he says and he waves a pink letter, decorated with hearts and a box of Apollo chocolates taped to the underside. There's a loud gasp and Shirabu doesn't need to look to know that Goshiki is awestruck.
Goshiki bounds over, twinkling with joy. He reaches his hands out for it and Shirabu half expects Kawanishi to pull it out of reach just because he can. He forgets that Kawanishi doesn't have a twisted demon living inside him, unlike Shirabu. He watches as the letter gets passed over from one hand to the other.
"I've never gotten a love confession before," Goshiki gasps. He sniffs at the paper as if he could identify the writer by smell. "Who was it?"
Kawanishi smirks before lightly knocking him on the head. "I'm going to respect her privacy."
"It's a girl!" Goshiki says loudly, all starry-eyed.
"Was that too much information?" Kawanishi whispers at Shirabu as he joins him by the lockers. He turns the dial until his locker door clicks open. Shirabu snickers.
"Looks like we both got lucky this year," Tendou laughs and Shirabu turns around to observe. Tendou pulls out the letter Shirabu typed and Shirabu is only marginally guilty for the amount of pleasure Tendou seems to derive from his first (fake) confession letter. He notices Semi look away, lips curling into a petulant frown.
"Ooooooh!" Goshiki says. They're both being unreasonably loud. "Is she a girl too?"
"I don't understand why you don't expect it to be a girl, Tsutomu," Semi says dryly from his end of the locker room.
"How many did you get, Eita-kun?" Tendou sings as he leaps over to Semi. Semi wrenches the zipper on his bag immediately, closing off access to the contents within. He looks up and sneers at Tendou and a current passes between them, acrid and static.
"I got one," Semi says coolly, almost like a level threat. Shirabu catches the wink Semi sends Tendou and he feels the second hand embarrassment. He wills himself to look away. He's always imagined them getting together under the clove trees in the garden and maybe cloudy skies and melted ice cream. Maybe he's doing this wrong - maybe they need to come together under a tense scenario, lips crashing like thunder roaring and hands roving, trying to memorise every inch of skin-
"So I heard you got a confession yourself," Tendou says as he sidles up next to Kawanishi breaking off Shirabu's embarrassing train of thoughts. The tension had dissipated when he wasn't looking, Goshiki having left already and Ushijima coming in to take his bottle.
Shirabu immediately glances up at Kawanishi, surprise written all over his face - because boy, was he not expecting that. He watches as Kawanishi rears back a little while Tendou pokes at his face. Shirabu turns away, and pretends to be preoccupied, but his stomach does a weird flip - something bitter and bold. And salty, like his personality.
"Uhm, yeah. Two actually." Kawanishi says. He sounds the same as always. He and Ushijima are almost one of a kind. Almost.
Semi looks up from his own locker, eyebrows raised. "Woah, aren't you the lady killer."
This makes Ushijima stop on his way out with his bottle making it halfway to his lips; eyebrows raised in interest. His interest clearly isn't for the best of reasons when he opens his mouth and says without batting an eyelid," As captain, I'm not sure I approve of you killing ladies."
"It's a saying, Wakatoshi," Tendou explains, tilting his head backwards to get a good glance at Ushijima.
"What about you?" Semi asks, and it takes Shirabu ten years to get his head back on and realise that Semi had directed the question at him. Everyone has their eyes on him, he can feel their penetrating stares, he imagines even his own organs may feel naked under such unrelenting gazes. He shifts a little feeling a tad agitated, as if the question had been a forbidden taboo that even he didn't know of.
"Does it even matter?" He tries to keep his voice even, but his irritation bleeds. He tries to think of something funny to lighten the mood. It fails immediately; Shirabu doesn't do funny. Nothing is remotely funny, except maybe Kawanishi. But Kawanishi just got two confessions, and that isn't funny.
Tendou slips away from Kawanishi long enough to slip himself into the narrow space between the two of them. Shirabu has a passing thought of how Tendou is like a squid; long, wriggly. Boneless. He doesn't understand how Tendou can be so long and bendy but with the right amount of muscle.
"Does that mean you didn't get anything this valentine's?" Tendou asks. As usual, he has no tact. Semi is the one to point it out.
"So what?" Shirabu frowns. He knows Kawanishi is looking, and he doesn't know why it bothers him.
Tendou twirls away, turning a full circle before pinning his gaze onto Shirabu. He rubs at his chin thoughtfully before pointing a taped finger at him. "It must be your hair," Tendou says confidently. "Your bangs are weird. You should get them straighter - like Tsutomu's."
Ushijima chooses this time to leave the changing room, perfectly oblivious to the tension that had just settled.
Semi flounders. "Don't be silly," he scowls. "You really need a mouth filter."
"But it's true," Tendou says, all cheeky grins and wide eyes. Shirabu wants to knock him down, or maybe knock Semi down because he can feel Semi fishing for a compliment, and if that isn't weird enough in itself. Shirabu and Semi aren't exactly the best of friends.
"I think it's charming," Kawanishi blurts abruptly. His face is void of any expression as he continues to fold his uniform neatly and meticulously. And quietly. Silence does come at a price.
Tendou jumps in surprise and makes another one of his googly expressions."Would you date Kenjirou-kun, Taichi?"
"Yeah, why not?" Kawanishi replies calmly. He closes his locker to turn around and face Tendou. His ears are a burning shade of red, but Shirabu doesn't notice. He's too embarrassed himself to even move as he concentrates on the inner workings of his locker - there is a mouldy spot near the top left corner and also a drawing of a dick nicely finished with obscene words circulating around the organ. He's trying so hard to focus but his heart is lodged some place funny and his body tingles a little warmly.
"Why?" Tendou drawls.
"I dunno," Kawanishi says tiredly. "Would you date Semi-san?"
The question catches everyone off guard. There's one beat of silence. And then two beats. Three. Semi sneezes. And then-
"No!" Tendou splutters, eyes growing wider than Shirabu ever thought possible. "He has cooties!" Tendou adds hastily before he flees, making a run for his life out of the changing room. Shirabu can hear him disappear into the distance judging by the way Tendou's voice fades away as he wails out a loud "Waaaaaaaaakatoshi-kun".
This is probably more awkward than Semi complimenting his hair.
"What the fuck," Semi grumbles, more a statement to himself than to any other. Shirabu thinks he catches a wave of hurt in Semi's voice as Semi slams his locker shut while muttering something akin to 'fucking noodle boy' under his breath. And while Semi is more of the loud type of angry, he leaves the changing room with a soft click of the door. It's somewhat more terrifying, if Shirabu were to be honest with himself.
He turns around to address Kawanishi only to find that the taller boy had already left to do his stretching.
-
9.
In Shirabu's defense, cup noodles are incredibly easy to ruin. He doesn't understand why people ogle at him in disbelief when he tells them he's ruined the last 5 cups. It's not that hard: the key to it is being distracted and forgetting the fact that you were even waiting on cup noodles in the first place. It happens all the damn time.
This, coupled with the fact that Shirabu keeps doing it, should make his roommate immune to the fact that Shirabu isn't the most adept in the kitchen. So Shirabu doesn't really know why his roommate had to blow his top off, face discolouring to an angry red then purple as he forgot how to breathe. It's not like this had been the first time, or the fiftieth for that matter. He really doesn’t get it.
This is how Shirabu finds himself, hiding behind the water dispenser, carrying a plastic bag sloshing with cold soup and bloated noodles. There's a hole in the bag, he knows. He's been trailing soup as he tottered down the stairs and it's now dripping on his shoes, soaking into his socks. He'd put it down but the rustling creates too much noise.
He hears them: a soft hiss of angry voices.
"So what does that make us?" Semi says crossly. Shirabu can tell he's trying to keep his voice down but it's not exactly working. He can hear it waver as Semi loses confidence.
"Why are you getting so worked up?" Tendou asks. He sounds hopeless and something else Shirabu can't quite pin.
"Why?!"
"You're being too loud, Eita."
Shirabu shuffles the stupid bag of ruined cup noodles awkwardly.
"Because I care about you! Because I like you and it seems you see me as nothing but a casual fling," Semi mumbles, voice breaking at the end. Shirabu's heart sinks a little because this isn't something that should be happening. He wonders if Kawanishi's question has anything to do with it, but he can't find it in him to even pin the blame on his friend.
There's a lot of shuffling and bumping from beyond. He hears something drop to the floor in a loud clatter and Semi huffs.
Shirabu's too distracted - too focused on listening that he realises a little too late that someone is coming his way. He panics a bit, looking around him for a place to hide but he's not fast enough. Semi storms by, face unyielding but frustrated tears are apparent in his eyes. Shirabu makes a sharp inhale but Semi doesn't even registers him. He stomps off, fuming but clearly very upset.
Too close, Shirabu thinks, heart pounding in his chest and rattling his ribs. He stands there in stunned silence for ten minutes before Tendou walks past him.
Shirabu doesn't expect much by now; he knows it's in his destiny to always be caught in the act of doing things he shouldn't. Had he left after Semi had moved, he might have gotten away. In fact, he would have still gotten away had it not been for the unfortunate turn of events. But as it happens to be, the world is very unkind.
The bag rips open the moment Tendou walks by and all the noodles fall through in a loud, sloppy, wet splat.
Tendou whips around. He looks out of it and confused. "Kenjirou-kun?"
"I could use some help," he says and Tendou doesn't even question him.
***
Practice gets a bit weird.
Semi tosses the ball. He runs forward, takes a jump - and his form is all wrong. Shirabu can see it from where he stands and he already knows the ball won't make it over the net. He's right; his eyes trail the trajectory of the ball and watches as it collides with the back of Goshiki's head. The poor boy, standing a little too close to the net, is taken by surprise and his face slams face front into the net, lips mooching as the net presses resistance.
"Sorry," Semi says, jittery. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He runs over and helps Goshiki up.
Semi looks like he might cry but Goshiki shoots him this brilliant smile, complete with mesh lines printed thinly onto his skin in an angry red.
"I'M OKAY," Goshiki yells, and for once, Shirabu is glad for his tendency to get really loud.
Despite the reassurances, Goshiki still totters as he stands and collides into Yamagata when he tries to walk straight. Semi takes him off the court and Kawanishi leaves to get an icepack. Shirabu feels his heart twist a little dejectedly. He hasn't really spoken to any of them since the incident in the changing room.
He snaps out of it when Oohira calls for the next serve. Semi spends the rest of the time playing against the wall.
-
10.
Shirabu gets his sign from heaven when one day, Mozuki-san from Mathematics Class offers him two free tickets to the aquarium for the following day.
"Can I really have these?" he says, gripping them tightly in his hands. His friend looks a bit concerned but nods anyway.
"My parents got them free from a colleague but we don't really have the time to go," Mozuki says. He waves a hand to emphasize his point. "You seem… eager to have them."
"I will put these to good use," Shirabu says vehemently, and his friend just nods along.
***
"You want to go with me?" Tendou says confused, and Shirabu rolls his eyes.
Kawanishi floats somewhere in the background, curious.
"No," Shirabu says pointedly. He stuffs them into Tendou's hands. "I know you need them."
"What for?"
"I'm sure you can figure out that much on your own," Shirabu says bluntly and Tendou eyes him suspiciously.
"That was really rude," Tendou says but he's not offended. He looks down at his hands and then says a little unnaturally, "Thanks."
"That's weird," Shirabu says, wrinkling his nose but Tendou leaps off the bench and stretches. He pulls Shirabu into an awkward hug, and crushes the air out of the smaller boy.
Shirabu thinks he did a good job as Tendou slinks away. He smiles a little fondly as Tendou skips out the door, a spring in his step that hadn't actually been there for weeks following his fall out with Semi. And while everyone seemed to be well acquainted with the Act of Pretending Nothing Happened, some things clearly are amiss and no amount of acting can actually fix that.
If this doesn't do it for his two upper-class men, then nothing probably will. But he trusts them enough to make good use of the opportunity. When it comes down to it, Shirabu does like everyone on the team well enough even if he isn't very vocal with it.
"You're smiling," Kawanishi comments from behind and Shirabu jumps. Things went a bit weird for them too, but they're okay now - or Shirabu hopes they are.
"I'm not," he says without force. He tries to fight off the smile of relief but he can't help it.
"Are they good to go then?"
Shirabu shrugs. From his point of view, it's hard to say, but just to be sure…
"We're tailing them tomorrow," Shirabu blurts out without thinking. He's met with an impeccable wall of silence. It takes a while before Kawanishi even responds.
"What," Kawanishi says in a lagged response. It comes off more as a statement than a question, and Shirabu can hear the incredulity in his voice even if his tone doesn't change.
"We need to make sure they get it together."
"That sounds troublesome," Kawanishi comments. Shirabu isn't sure how many times he's heard Kawanishi say the same sentence over past few weeks but he's pretty sure he broke some kind of record.
"It's just one last thing before the deed's done."
Kawanishi shakes his head, but he offers a cheeky grin. "And what time would I have to drag my dead body off the bed?"
"We'll meet at 8am, I guess?" Shirabu says. "It's better to be earlier so we can watch them arrive from the bushes."
"That's very specific."
"Wear a disguise."
"And now you're not being specific enough."
"I don't know," Shirabu says blandly. He pulls off his school shoes and takes his sport shoes out of the carrier. "A wig or something."
"Do we even want to stalk them?"
"We'll let them be once they pass very basic checkpoints," Shirabu says. Kawanishi is judging him harshly - he can feel it.
"And you would know something about dating?" Kawanishi's tone is teasing, there's a lilt that Shirabu hears and he knows Kawanishi is a breadth away from laughing.
Shirabu's face heats. "It doesn't take an idiot to know that there should be some hand holding involved. And maybe a kiss."
"Chu chu?" Kawanishi snorts, and Shirabu has a horrible flashback to the incident with the girl from Physics class.
"Shut up," he grumbles. He pulls his shirt over his head to hide his embarrassment. It feels nice to slip into their old rhythm of casual talk - Shirabu almost believes that he'd imagined the distance between them.
"You know what I don't understand?" Kawanishi says after they're done changing.
"What?"
Kawanishi turns to fix him with a steely gaze, eyes poring holes through Shirabu. He holds out his empty hands and wiggles his fingers. "Why do we give them the free tickets and end up paying for our own?"
-
10.
Shirabu oversleeps. His phone is swamped with over 50 messages from Kawanishi. The first 10 messages are a little more urgent, the next 39 are updates on his eventful trip to the aquarium alone. To name a few, he had watched the basketball club get a ball stuck in the ceiling rafters, ran into Goshiki and his friends on their way back from breakfast, watched a small kid fall and scrape his knee and then played with a white cat near the train station.
The last message is more taciturn:
Don't tell me I have to do the stalking by myself.
He stumbles out of bed and over to the closet, slipping on loose leaves of papers and stepping on a leftover muffin. He's not even sure why that's on the floor but he's going to just take it as it is - he doesn't have time to ponder about the irrelevant.
Shirabu just grabs whatever it is he can find - he snags an Adidas hoodie off the closet rack but the hanger swings off the bar, clattering to the floor. His roommate sits up in his bed immediately and stares at Shirabu with a pinched expression.
"Kenjirou," he mumbles, mildly angry, not quite alert but very confused. His letters slosh together and it sounds more like 'knjro' before Shirabu waves at him.
"Sorry," he whispers. "Go back to bed." His friend eyes him suspiciously but doesn't say anything; he makes an OK with his fingers before he flops back - like a plank of wood.
Shirabu moves a little slower this time, careful not to step on anything mildly offending and to keep his ruckus to a minimum. He gives up trying to look decent when he takes a glance at the clock. He's late and it's not even funny anymore - he takes the first a pair of ripped jeans he can find and a sun hat that doesn't even belong to him, before he makes a mad dash for the trains.
***
Finding Kawanishi had been too easy. There is, after all, no one else who happened to be over 180cm and carrying a seahorse balloon. He also looks ridiculously good for someone in a plain white shirt, denim jacket and skinny jeans. There's a pair of sunglasses hanging by his shirt collar, and Kawanishi tries to be helpful by telling him that it's his disguise.
But there's something that doesn't fit with the entire image, and Shirabu watches as a giant, plastic Seahorse floats around Kawanishi, static making his hair stick a little.
Shirabu motions to the balloon. "What," he says, incredulous. "Is this?"
"Oh this?" Kawanishi grins, slow and charming. "This is Peter."
"Why an English name?"
Kawanishi shrugs and then turns the balloon around. On the other side of the balloon, the name 'Peter' is branded in thick, bubbly font. "It's his given name. Do You want him?" He dangles the string in front of Shirabu and Shirabu flushes, pushing it away. "Don't worry, it was free," Kawanishi says good-naturedly.
"I'm not a kid, Taichi. I don't need a balloon."
"Oh." And then after a heartbeat and a shrug: " More Peter for me, I guess."
"You're going to make us more obvious."
"No way," Kawanishi grins. He loops the string around his own wrist, deftly tying up the string with his long fingers. When he's gotten a good loop hold, he shakes his wrists once to make sure the balloon doesn't fly away. "No one expects cool, mysterious Taichi to carry a seahorse balloon."
Shirabu has to hold back his smile. He almost forgets what they're even there for until he sees a couple walk by, hands swinging between them with too much enthusiasm. He looks around for Tendou or Semi.
"Have they been?"
"You mean Semi-san and Tendou-san?"
Shirabu nods, distracted. He takes a glance at the ticketing queue, and boy is it long.
"Yeah, they've been. Not too long ago actually," Kawanishi says. He jostles Peter around, flicking it with his fingers. It makes soft, balloon-y sounds.
"Where'd they go?"
Kawanishi motions at the entrance. "Inside," he says like it's the most obvious thing in the world - and it is. While it isn't as specific as Shirabu had been hoping for, he can't really blame Kawanishi. Especially since the taller boy had been out in the sun waiting for his arrival all morning.
He looks expectantly at the ticketing queue and then his watch but Kawanishi starts to pull out another pair of tickets from the pocket of his denim jacket. Shirabu blinks.
"You're efficient," Shirabu says as he makes a move for his wallet but Kawanishi shakes his head.
He offers a ticket in his hand and smiles shyly, "My treat."
If there's one thing that Shirabu really likes about Kawanishi, it's the fact that he's so incredibly shy. He can tell Kawanishi is a little flustered by the way his lower lip is being chewed on and he starts to whistle awkwardly when Shirabu doesn't make a move. His face takes a while to colour, but when it does, his skin burns a feverish scarlet, just like Tendou's hair. When the tension becomes too much, Kawanishi looks away, using Peter to cover his face.
Shirabu feels affection bubble inside him and he's not used to it. It feels strange but good; he likes it.
The cheery, printed eyes of Peter grins back at him as Shirabu takes his ticket. He reaches forward and takes Kawanishi's wrist before walking over to the security check.
***
"Oh hey, look."
Shirabu stops only because Kawanishi has an iron grip on his sleeve and he doesn't want it to rip off at the seams.
"Taichi we-"
"Mola mola," Kawanishi says almost wistfully. His eyes go a little wider than usual, twinkling with some kind of hidden amusement.
"Sunfish," Shirabu argues lightly. He's never seen Kawanishi so invested before. It's almost endearing. Kawanishi Taichi, 188cm, enamored by an ocean fish that looks like a flattened rhino.
Kawanishi rolls his eyes before he flicks Shirabu on the forehead. "Same thing, Kenjirou." He turns his gaze back to the gaping fish - flat and disproportionate. Shirabu almost misses the way Kawanishi says his name. " I caught one in animal crossing. I put him in my house."
"What."
"What?"
Before Shirabu can say anything further, he can hear Tendou's voice drifting from a corridor further up ahead. Even in public, Tendou doesn't keep a reign on his volume. It's a working problem, Shirabu guesses. Not that he's complaining, it clearly makes tracking a lot easier.
Without much thought, he rounds on Kawanishi and plucks out the sunglasses hanging on his collar, hastily forcing them onto his friend's face. Kawanishi's skin is warm where Shirabu accidentally touches him and he pulls his hands back before his fingers linger longer than they have to. There's something wrong with him today, and it's throwing him of his groove. Shirabu clicks his tongue and lowers the sun hat over his own face.
"I look so shady," Kawanishi says. He fiddles with his sunglasses. "Get it? Shady, because shades. Like sun glasses. You know? Also because no one wears sunglasses in a darkly lit, air-conditioned room."
Shirabu wants to punch him in the mouth. But that's not all Kawanishi has to say.
"You look shady too," he says, sounding effortlessly bored. He looks like he's trying to work off his nerves. "Because well, you're shaded under a sun hat. Also because no one wears a sun hat in a darkly lit, air-conditioned room."
Shirabu just stalks past him, not bothering to give Kawanishi any more of his attention.
***
They have to make another stop because there's a girl crying really loudly in one of the exhibit rooms. Shirabu watches as Kawanishi offers Peter to her and it's all endearing, really. But they really need to get going. Why is Kawanishi such a softie?
And why does it feel sad to say goodbye to Peter?
The world will never know.
***
They finally catch up when they're midway through the exhibits. It's the biggest tank in the aquarium, spanning across an entire expanse of wall. There are tiered seats down the rows leading up to the tank, with rails near the entry way. Shirabu doesn't doubt that the seats are teeming with couple.
But it's a lovely place and Shirabu is so enchanted. He's inclined to take a seat and get sucked into the endless blue. And while it is a couple's hideout, he thinks he doesn't mind if he's stuck here with no one but Kawanishi as a companion.
He's a little entranced as the entire room floods with sapphire lights and wave patterns scattering across the floor when the lights beam off the water in strange angles. The floor glitters like silver and Shirabu wants to touch those sparkles. He catches the shadow of a creature passing and looks up to see a shark flit by in the tank, followed by a sting ray and then schools of fish. They're all different in colour - it looks like a tropical festival inside the tank. He watches as tiny white baits dither around and he's not sure how something so cute can taste so good with rice.
Kawanishi taps him once on the shoulder before he points to two figures sitting two rows down.
Shirabu recognises Tendou first. His red hair makes him stand out anywhere, but in the dim lightings of the room, it looks more purple than anything else. He finds Semi next, because silver hair isn't very commonplace either.
They're curled together, Semi's head cushioned on Tendou's shoulder. If Shirabu squints hard enough (in which he did), he'll find that their hands are clasped together, Tendou's thumb running over the groove of Semi's first knuckle.
Everything suddenly feels softer. Shirabu smiles; there's enough hand holding to satisfy him and even if there's no kiss - well, what's the rush?
He leans over the rail, crossing his arms and then resting his head. He's not lying when he says the aquarium is a magical place. They stay awhile longer, observing fish swim without a care in the world. Somewhere along the way, Kawanishi takes off his sunglasses but Shirabu keeps his sun hat on.
They don't prolong their stay after the deed is done - they've seen enough and the rest, they’ll leave up to their upper-class men. They go through the rest of the exhibits a little slower, more at ease but they don't exhaust their welcome. They leave the building before sundown.
***
"So that's it then," Kawanishi hums. " Our job is done?"
Shirabu nods, lips curling a little in a half smile.
He is five steps ahead of Kawanishi. They're on their way out, passing through the bridged exit. There's a lot of people here, the sun is starting to set from the horizon and from here, they can see the sea.
"You know," Kawanishi says lightly. He takes Shirabu's wrist and spins him around gently so they're facing each other. Shirabu is surprised, to say the least, but he finds that he doesn't exactly mind. Kawanishi grins a little. "For someone with a chronic resting bitch face problem, you're not a bad person."
"You're not half bad yourself," Shirabu says jokingly, and he finds it easier to laugh and breathe. All the built up tension from weeks ago finally evaporating. It's finally over - he doesn't remember when he started trying to get them together but he knows that over the series of events, he's experienced a ton of things that he regrets nothing of.
He looks up at Kawanishi and then laughs. It's almost like deliria but he can't remember when's the last time he felt this happy and satisfied.
But Kawanishi isn't laughing. Behind him, the sun is setting and everything turns a warm, fiery amber. Shirabu feels his breath catch in a sudden breathlessness and he hears Kawanishi says his name again. Not Shirabu but his first name, and it sparks something deep inside him. And even though they've been on first name basis since forever, Kawanishi rarely ever calls out to him by name. Shirabu wants to memorise the way it rolls of his tongue even if he's not sure why.
But then Kawanishi plucks off Shirabu's sun hat and uses it as a makeshift shield to cover their faces from by standers as he leans in to press a kiss a little to the left of Shirabu's lips. It's hesitant and afraid, obviously too scared to screw up a full-blown, frontal lip-on-lip kiss.
Shirabu's heart stops. Time stops. Everything makes sense.
And then it's over just as quickly as it had begun. Shirabu tingles where Kawanishi touched and his lips are buzzing with a desire to know what it feels like to have the full press of Kawanishi's thin lips against his own. He feels his face heat up in an instant and in the very same moment, he feels Kawanishi replant the sun hat on his head, pulling it low over his eyes before slipping away, warm hand letting go of a slim wrist.
It takes Shirabu a while to regain his bearings and when he looks up, the crowd is the same. Except this time, there is no Kawanishi.
-
11.
It's amazing how well Kawanishi avoids him after that. It's almost like a cheap plotline in a Japanese drama with a petty love interest.
The school isn't even that big, but somehow they don't seem to run into each other despite having home rooms right next door. He's tried waiting by the vending machines where Kawanishi, without fail, would normally appear to get his daily dose of juice.
But even then, he doesn't appear.
They see each other at practice - it can't be helped, Kawanishi can't just run from practice. Still, Kawanishi avoids Shirabu like the plague, only speaking when he has to, otherwise not at all. Shirabu's high-fives hang limp when Kawanishi blatantly does not return the favour and they're completely out of sync. Every time Shirabu tosses to him, Kawanishi misses the ball. They had been perfect tosses too.
Coach Washijou penalizes Kawanishi by making him do extra rounds but Kawanishi only looks relieved to get away.
***
Shirabu isn't always the last one out of the changing room. In fact, he had always been the second to leave - Kawanishi being the first as he evades the possibility of last minute errands especially ever since the decorating of the noticeboard. But he finds himself loitering around even after Ushijima leaves. Once again, he's confused and lost. He's made a complete loop and ended up where everything had first started.
He seats himself by one of the benches and lolls his head backwards, allowing his head to knock against the walls.
It is unlike him to get affected by things; that's why his plays had been well under controlled and his mistakes kept to a minimum. This had been the one deciding factor that had Semi substituted with him. Shirabu is good that way - he knows how to separate his private life from that of work and volleyball. But appearing too unfazed is probably his downfall too - Shirabu is about 90% sure Kawanishi thinks he's fine with how things are judging by how unaffected he appears to be.
He allows himself an indulgent session of self-pity until a knock on the changing room door startles him into action. He jolts in his seat, legs accidentally kicking out from under him as he sits up incredibly straight. He feels guilty even though there's nothing to be guilty about.
The door creaks open and Semi's head pops through. His mouth opens a fraction as if to say something, but a louder, more boisterous and jolly voice overrides him.
"Kenjirou-kun!"
Shirabu knows who it is without looking. Tendou's head pops in above Semi's.
Shirabu really doesn't need this right now. His mouth twists into something of distaste, lips thinning into a tight, straight line as he sucks them in.
"Hi," Semi says, ever awkward.
"Did I do something wrong?" Shirabu asks. He's tired. He's never been this tired before, it almost scares him how emotionally affected he is with everything that's gone on around him.
Tendou slithers over to him and swings a long arm over his shoulders. They've showered - they both smell like the sickening sweetness of honey and orchids. He's not sure if this is supposed to be a normal occurrence or if they're just being lovey-dovey by sharing bathing foam, but Shirabu feels a little irked. I did this, he thinks blandly and then he lets out a mirthless snort. I did this and then ruined my relationship with Taichi.
Semi hovers a bit before settling in next to Shirabu. He places a hand on Shirbau's knee and the petty bitch within Shirabu has half a mind to push Semi's hand off. Shirabu isn't sure why but he's so mad at the two of them. Go figure.
"I just wanted to say thanks," Semi mumbles. His face turns carmine but he stutters out the rest of what he has to say. "I mean, it's hard for us to come out to each other and this is embarrassing but I know you heard me confess to a volleyball."
"Eita, that's really lame," Tendou offers.
"Suck my dick, you asshole. You were dancing with a mop you coined after me and still had the gall to drop it," Semi shoots back but both Shirabu and Semi know that the latter half of the sentence had been lost on Tendou when Tendou shoots him this crafty look. "I meant it figuratively. Do not touch me," Semi scowls, but even then there is no bite in his voice.
Shirabu frowns. He knows he's been caught in the act a number of times but his hand in manipulation hadn't been that obvious. He tries to weasel a lie. "I didn't do-"
"We know, Kenjirou-kun." Tendou removes his arm and instead slaps Shirabu hard on the small of his back.
"Know what?"
"Everything," Semi concludes. He holds up his fingers and starts numbering them off. "The movie, the chocolates and of course, the aquarium."
Shirabu didn't think it was possible to frown so much, but with each thing Semi rattled off, Shirabu finds his lips curling further, eyebrows furrowing. Because the aquarium is one thing, but he's pretty sure he'd been very covert about the chocolates and the cinema seating (kind of, anyway).
"You're making a really scary face, Kenjirou-kun. Or is this the resting bitch face in full power?" Tendou pokes at his left cheek and Shirabu pushes Tendou's hand away. It's strange - hearing anyone else but Kawanishi call his neutral face a resting bitch face makes him grit his teeth. He takes a deep breath and tries to count to ten before he says anything. He doesn't even reach eight when Semi cuts in.
"Taichi must really like you."
This time Shirabu is more than thrown off. Because he knows that. He knows it first hand and the problem is, he likes Kawanishi too. Now, if only the bastard would stop running.
"He told us everything," Tendou sing-songs. He's too loud and he's too close to Shirabu's ear.
"Traitor," he mutters despite himself but Semi squeezes his knee gently. "When?"
"When we went to the aquarium. It's strange but it's not every day you see a grown boy over 180cm getting a free seahorse balloon," Semi says.
He should've known. Of course. It just had to be the seahorse balloon. But then he thinks back to Kawanishi offering it to him, and his heart jolts in his chest, twisting a little.
"It takes a lot to get Taichi to actually do things," Tendou muses. "He's pretty lazy."
"He's not," Shirabu bites back, scowling. "He's… energy conservative." He winces at his own wording but Semi laughs and pats his shoulder.
"I think you already have your answer," Semi says softly and then scathingly, "It must be a middleblocker thing to run from your problems."
Tendou makes an indignant sound. "For the record, I didn't do as much running as Taichi," Tendou huffs. "He's into it physically and emotionally."
Semi rolls his eyes and stands. "Whatever, it still took you forever to get over it and come back to me."
Tendou snorts but reaches for Semi's hand anyway. They look so happy and Shirabu wants to be happy for them, but the bitterness in his mouth makes him incapable of giving them anything more than a half smile.
He throws a noncommittal wave as Semi and Tendou take their leave with fingers loosely linked together. When the door clicks behind them, Shirabu buries his face in his hands and lets out a strained yell.
-
12 and 10.
Shirabu's phone goes off five times as he procrastinates on his essay, mind drifting back to Kawanishi once more. He drags his chair away from his desk when the noise gets a little too unbearable. His roommate shoots him a frown when he picks the vibrating device off the table.
"Sorry," he says, and his roommate pushes his glasses up by the central perch using his middle finger. Shirabu's not sure if that's based on pure habit or if it's on purpose - but he's going to find out the next time his roommate does that. He glances back at his phone, nose wrinkling when he checks his notifications.
He has messages from Tendou.
Tendou: SOS
Tendou: I don't think that was right
Tendou: Anyway
Tendou: Big trouble!!
Tendou: cOD E BLEU
His phone buzzes some more, and this time it's Semi.
Semi: ignore him
Semi: It's code red
The buzzing doesn't quite relent and Shirabu finds himself swapping chat screens between Semi and Tendou, getting half the story from both of them and not quite figuring it out altogether. He tries his best to string the events together but the most he can get out of it is that Kawanishi had landed himself in the infirmary. He frowns a little.
Shirabu: What happened???
Semi: You should go check on him
He switches screens again.
Tendou: Taichi really is too long for his own good
Shirabu: ???
And he switches chat pages once more.
Semi: just go to him
Semi: if you love him, tell him
It's warning enough and Shirabu grabs his jacket before flying out the door, heart in his mouth because knowing Kawanishi, anything can happen.
***
"What happened?" Shirabu gasps but the words fade out on his lips. It isn't as serious as Semi had made it out to be - he had expected broken bones or a severed arm - but his emotions flood his senses with a strange kind of relief. And while it's great that Kawanishi isn't too hurt, it's also nice to finally see him again without the fear of him running away.
Kawanishi turns away from the window in surprise to stare at Shirabu before turning away again, eyebrows furrowing. He moves to replace the ice pack to his forehead but Shirabu had already noticed the blossoming bruise the colour of an eggplant. Kawanishi jostles the icepack, pressing it harder against his forehead and mumbles under his breath," Must've hit myself harder than I thought."
Shirabu feels a vein burst. He did not just run down 7 flights of switchback stairs, run across the school fields and then topple over a first year just for this. He didn't come down to endure some more silent treatment. He walks over and punches him weakly on the arm.
"Hey, I'm talking to you," Shirabu scowls as he plops into the vacant seat next to his friend. To further emphasize his point, he reaches out and pinches Kawanishi lightly on the arms.
Kawanishi winces. "I guess I'm not dreaming."
"You're sporting a bruise the colour of Shiratorizawa, did you actually doubt the reality of things even for a second?"
"I could've been hallucinating, but that did hurt."
"Lemme see that," Shirabu grumbles. He reaches for the icepack but Kawanishi turns away, tilting his head a little higher so that Shirabu can't reach it from where he sits. Shirabu lets out a hiss of annoyance before leaping up and grabbing Kawanishi by the shoulder, and forcibly turning his body to get a good look at him.
They're stuck in limbo as neither makes a move - they stare at each other wordlessly. The sun is setting outside again, and the orange hues flood in through the open windows, accentuating Kawanishi's cheekbones and jaw line, illuminating gold. It makes him look almost too fragile to touch. Somewhere outside, someone is practicing the violin - sweet and melancholic. Shirabu can smell the jasmines blooming in the courtyard, some schoolmates are playing soccer and the tower clock rings as it strikes six.
And everything is normal, like how it's always been. But in the here and now, it feels magical, special. Like one of those dramatic scenes in Tendou's manga collection. . It feels the same - casual but something better. He's not sure how things went wrong between them but he knows they don't need an apology. They just need words.
This is how Shirabu expects it to be between the two of them; to slip casually into the rhythm of one another.
Kawanishi is the first to break the silence. He shifts in his seat awkwardly, eyes flitting all over the place as he makes it his goal to look at anything other than Shirabu. "I hit a lamp post," he says awkwardly. He fiddles with the hem of his school shorts, long fingers twisting at a stray thread.
"With your face?"
"Things happen," Kawanishi shrugs. He gives up with the ice pack and lets his hand fall away, revealing the inverted-sweet-potato bruise. Shirabu winces at the size of it; it's as big as a ¥500 coin, a solid purple complete with a faint outer glow in mustard yellow.
Shirabu slowly reaches out and smooths a thumb over it, watching as Kawanishi shrinks away from his touch. Without so much as thinking, Shirabu slowly slides his hand lower, taking Kawanishi's face in his hands and brushes his lips over the bruise.
It's supposed to be romantic, or something like that since Shirabu doesn't know what romance actually consists off, but Kawanishi is the epitome of anti-romance because he immediately makes a choked sound before pushing Shirabu away. They fall apart, both blushing.
"Oh my god, Kenjirou," Kawanishi says, flustered. He's heating up; Shirabu can almost see steam coming off him. Kawanishi brings a hand to his face and lets out a groan. "Don't put your mouth there! I, ugh. I hit a lamp post - who knows what's been on it? A soccer ball caked in mud? A toddler's sticky fingers? Someone digging their nose and wiping their booger on it?"
Kawanishi continues to babble as he curls into himself, going a hundred words per minute and Shirabu didn't know Kawanishi could talk that much, and at that speed no less. He finds himself well entertained, and his heart squeezes with strong affection. Although he won't lie - Kawanishi 's words has him reevaluating that kiss.
He's in love with Kawanishi and it makes sense. And ever since that almost-kiss at the aquarium, Shirabu had been squandering. He's not sure what it is he's been waiting for - a sign or a push in the right direction. He's not so sure, but he knows it's his turn to meet Kawanishi halfway.
"Taichi, I like you," Shirabu blurts when he knows Kawanishi won't shut up. The effect is instantaneous; Kawanishi's mouth clamps up almost comically, and his eyes stop skirting immediately. Shirabu watches as the words slowly hit home, and the rest of Kawanishi starts to flame.
There's half an expectation for Kawanishi to spontaneously combust on the spot but Kawanishi just freezes. They're both awkward and not really cut out for love, but they'll make it work. Shirabu is determined to keep going despite how hot his face is starting to feel - all he hopes for is that he doesn't come to regret any of this.
"I really, really like you," he says honestly. The confidence is starting to vaporise and he's feeling more and more embarrassed. He scrubs at his face once. "And I would have told you sooner but you kept running from me. Because you're an idiot - but I still like you anyway."
He lets out an awkward cough when Kawanishi doesn't move at all. Shirabu's not sure if he's passed out with his eyes open or if he's even breathing for that matter. He gently eases Kawanishi's hand off of his face, and inspects it; they're beautiful in a way different from his own. Blocker hands. Palms bigger and rougher, fingers a little longer but not with the slender grace of a setter's. He turns over Kawanishi's hand and inspects the lines that travel across his palm and Shirabu wants to memorise them like an overused road map.
Shirabu slides back into the seat next to Kawanishi, hand still hanging limp in his own. The silence that settles is more welcoming than anything he has felt in weeks. He presses their palms together and Kawanishi finally moves to slide their fingers together. Kawanishi gives him a firm squeeze, fingers tight together, but he looks away - too embarrassed to say anything. And Shirabu finds that he doesn't mind at all. The silence has always suited them anyway.
And they have time. A lot of time. Outside, the violin stops singing and there's no one playing soccer. He leans against Kawanishi, humming softly. It already feels like a beginning.
