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Siuan’s heart took a leap when the news reached her. A young novice knocked on the frame of her open door, stumbled into her office and nervously smoothed out her dress, while she told her that a certain Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah would return to the White Tower after almost two years.
Instantly Siuan’s eyes shot to the window as if she could spot Moiraine somewhere on the riverside. On her way back to her.
“They have the false dragon in chains, mother”, the novice reported. “He killed a Green and the remaining sisters gentled him.” Her eyes flitted across the room, looking anywhere but at the Amyrlin.
“Thank you, Ella”, Siuan sighed. Of course Moiraine didn’t return without a heap of problems at her back. She loved her, truly, but the woman had a knack for dragging problems to her door like a cat who woke you up with a live fish or rat in its mouth.
The novice, clearly glad to leave Siuan’s hard gaze, took the hint and quickly left. Once the sound of her footsteps grew too distant to distuingish Siuan got up, closed the door for some privacy and stepped out onto the balcony.
Of course her Moiraine was still too far away to be able to see her. Still, gazing out over the Erinin and the wide forests made her feel closer to her love. Just the knowledge that somewhere out there under one of those trees she was, left Siuan’s heart racing and her eyes well up.
How long had it been since she’d last looked into that true blue, let her hands pass through dark brown curls, taken in the scent of pine needles and rain that always lingered on Moiraine’s skin?
She wondered if there in the distance Moiraine was staring back at her, trying to find her silhouette somewhere in the lines of the White Tower against the sky. Did she wish to cry and break and let herself be held by the other too? Just because they would finally be reunited, however short it may be this time.
And in the years that passed between now and then, did her heart leap too whenever she saw a woman knitting fishnets like Siuan’s heart leaped when she saw a Blue sister with dark hair in the distance? Did Moiraine feel the same tug on her soul when she saw a happy couple kiss or hold hands and know it could never be them, even if they were reunited? Did Moiraine feel the same ache when she stared at the night sky and spotted the constellation of stars they’d long ago picked out as theirs?
A single tear rolled down Siuan’s cheek. That was all she could allow herself, before Leane knocked on her door and Siuan wiped her face clean to face the world again with her usual haughty, stoic facade.