Archive of Our Own ^beta

The bar was, to put it nicely, a dump. Dark, dingy, full of dated decor and despairing drunks.

This made it perfect, since nobody would expect three idols to come here for a date. Abby himself could fit in, even if he was still hotter than anybody else here, but despite being in disguise, Romance and Mira still didn’t look like they’d belong in this rundown rathole. The downsides of being fashionable, fastidious, and downright fabulous- you make shitty surroundings look even shittier.

“I think the last time this place was cleaned was before I died…” Romance mulled, running his finger on the counter. “Or perhaps when Jinu did.”

“Just be thankful that you can’t get sick here,” Mira grimaced. “If I get food poisoning, it’s your fault babe.”

“Ra, you know I’ll always make it better!” Abby leaned in to kiss her, only to get pushed away. “Ouch.”

He pretended not to see her smile into her sleeve, the way her touch was more of a caress than a slap. His fierce huntress always hid her sweetness with spice, and Abby wouldn’t have her any other way. 

“The only way you can make things better is by getting me a drink,” Mira bumped his shoulder on the way to the table. “I want a Moscow Mule. Or seven.”

“I’ll take something with absinthe, if you don’t mind.” Romance kissed him on the cheek. “I want to go wild like Oscar Wilde.”

“Don’t know who that is, Ro, but I’ll get you anything you want!” In a move that he totally never practiced, Abby dipped Romance into a deep kiss before  twirling him into Mira’s arms. For her part, Mira rolled her eyes even as she held their swooning boyfriend tightly. 

“You better not do that with the drinks,” Mira grumbled, even as she slung an arm around Romance and pulled him even closer. “And as for you, how do you even know who Oscar Wilde is?”

“You know I have a soft spot for the Romantics, darling!” 

“He was from the Victorian era, not Romantic. And furthermore-“

Abby let the sounds of his beloveds’ bickering fade into the background as he approached the bar. “Hey man, busy night?”

“Huh?” The bartender looked up from the glass he was polishing. “Oh- not really. It’s been super boring lately. Besides you three, I mean.”

“Yeah, we’re not really boring people, sorry!” Abby rubbed the back of his neck even as he laughed it off. “I can tell them to be quieter, but I’m not sure they’ll listen.”

“Yeah, the chick with the glasses seems intense. They’re both super hot though- you lucked out!” He glanced over to the table where Mira and Romance were probably still arguing about obscure English poets and other stuff that made Abby’s head spin. “What’s your secret, man?”

“Open and honest communication,” Abby shrugged. “That, and sometimes they need me to lift heavy things.”

The bartender laughed at that, even though it was only half a joke at best. “Alright, keep your secrets. What’s your poison?”

“Moscow Mule, something with absinthe- the more dramatic the better- and…” Abby looked over the drink list, looking for the fruitest, froofiest drink there was. “A Woo Woo?”

“Sounds like a party! And about we do a Necromancer for that pretty thing-“

“Ro’s not a thing.” Abby said, trying not to let his patterns show, or throw this guy through a window just because he misspoke. But Romance dealt with enough of that shit in life and in death, and Abby’s not gonna let anybody talk about him like that ever again. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

“Sheesh, touchy!” He raised his hands in surrender. “All I was doing was suggesting a drink, man. Not looking to steal your date.”

“Oh, sorry?” He wasn’t really, but Abby was trying to be a better person, and according to Zoey’s PowerPoint that included apologizing to people and being nice to service workers. “Necromancer sounds perfect. Can you make sure it looks pretty? And that the Woo Woo has an umbrella in it.”

“You got it- anything to impress your partners, right?” The bartender gave him an exaggerated wink. “Especially that spitfire over there- I’m sure you’ve got your hands full with a girl like that.”

“Yeah… she’s amazing,” Abby sighed. “It was just me and Ro for ages, but when Ra came into our lives it was just… he’s my heart, but she’s my soul, you know?”

Judging by the look on the bartender’s face, he didn’t know. This is why Abby did the choreo, not the lyrics. 

“Right… well, if you want your soulmate over there to be a bit sweeter tonight, I got you covered,” the bartender winked. “For the right price.”

“Weird way to ask for a tip, but alright.” One day, Abby will get used to modern slang. He’ll have to ask Baby about it later. “So you’ll make it strong?”

“You know it- sweet enough to keep her sweet and strong enough to turn that tiger into a kitty cat,” the bartender winked again… maybe he has something in his eye? “I’ll make sure it’s a night you’ll never forget.”

“Alright, sold!” Sure, this guy was weird, but Abby was still going to tip him extra- mostly because he knew that the three of them could get rowdy. 

“Drinks will be ready in a few minutes. Go woo those two, and I’ll bring them over to you.” The bartender slid the money into his pocket and started slicing lemons. 

Abby didn’t need to be told twice- why stay with this guy when he has two beautiful, sassy sweethearts waiting for him? He squeezed in the space between like they were waiting for him all along, squinting at the shared screen.

Zoey, Rumi, and somebody who looked a hell of a lot like Mira were dancing around the Come Play With Us stage, dodging water balloons full of paint. “Wait, so the whole thing is that you snuck out with us to avoid going on this show… so you could just watch it online?”

“Urgh, it’s not like that!” Mira groaned, even as she couldn’t fight the smile. “We’re making bets on who it is pretending to be me up there.”

“The winner gets to decide our next date. And it will be me, because you can’t convince me that’s not Baby.” Romance tapped the screen for emphasis, specifically the pissed off glare that Fake!Mira was giving the hosts. “Look at that expression- I believe it’s called Resting Baby Face.”

“That’s not what RBF stands for and you know it,” Mira said, grumbling as her on stage persona almost tripped over his own feet. “Watch how he keeps touching Rumi’s shoulder? That’s definitely Jinu.”

“Yeah, but he’s doing it to Zoey too, and you three are always touchy feely anyway!” Abby pointed out, very much attached to this game he only found out about a few minutes ago. “I’m saying it’s Mystery.”

“Yeah, he’s the only Saja Boy left and Rumi’s not that good at illusions yet,” Mira said. “So you’re stuck with him.”

“Nah, I’d vote for him either way- Watch the way the light hits his face,” Abby pointed to the multicolored spotlight spinning around like some sort of disco laser. The other hunters winced whenever it got in their eyes, although not enough to stumble. But Fake!Mira didn’t even blink. “That’s definitely Mystery.”

“I think Baby could do that too-” Romance tried to defend himself, only to sigh in defeat. “And I was so looking forward to dragging you shopping and dress you up.”

“So? We’ll still do that with you.” Mira flicked his hair out of his face. “Somebody needs to teach Abby how to pick out shirts that actually fit, and you need to learn that not every outfit needs a heart on it.”

“Excuse you!” Romance gasped in mock horror, collapsing against Mira’s side. “I have an aesthetic to maintain!”

“And you know you like my abs!” Abby flexed from sheer habit, even though his muscles were buried under an oversized Huntrix hoodie and baggy jeans. It didn’t stop Mira from blushing.

“Well, it’s still Jinu, and I’m still taking you two dancing either way.” She declared, locking eyes with each of them in turn. “I know somebody who owns a nightclub- we’d be able to get privacy and better drinks.”

“Hey, I’m getting you your Moscow Mule, aren’t I?” Abby protested. “I even made sure Ro’s drink has a fancy name. It’s called a Necromancer and everything.”

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Romance’s smile could light up the underworld. “What’s in it?”

“Uh… absinthe? And… fuck. I forgot to ask.” Shit, Abby was too busy defending Romance’s honor to make sure that his drink would be okay.

“To be fair, absinthe and fuck does sound a lot like you, lover boy.” Mira swiped the phone to start looking it up. “It’s got absinthe, elderflower liquor, lemon juice, something called Lillet Blanc, and gin.”

“Like I said, it's perfect- you know me so well, darling,” Romance pulled him into a quick kiss. “Now, what would your date idea be? When you win the bet.”

“If he wins the bet.” Mira growled fiercer than any demon 

“Oh, I’m going to win, and then… we’re going bowling!” Abby grinned over the twin looks of despair on their faces. “Don’t be like that, it’ll be fun.”

“I take back what I said- you don’t know me at all…” Romance groaned, looking over to Mira for aid. “If I die from rented bowling shoes and greasy fake pizza, avenge me.”

“I will- my vengeance will be swift and thematic.” Mira promised, sealing the deal with a kiss. “Abby, if you do this I will use your skull as a bowling ball.”

She says that like it’d stop him- like it’s not the hottest thing in the world. “But then, who’d avenge me?”

“Oh, I’d bide my time and wait until she’d least expect it,” Romance said casually. “I think I can make it look like an accident. ‘Oh Officer, I have no idea how that bowling ball fell on her head!’ Granted, that’s only an example- you’ll never see my actual plan until it’s too late.”

Mira had a blush on her face and stars in her eyes as her boyfriend casually discussed the best way to murder her- that’s how Abby knew this was the woman he’d spend the rest of his life with.

“Yeah, but then I’ll have to avenge Ra and I’m not sure I can come up with a good bowling based death…” Abby sighed. “I guess I can hit you with a bowling pin and yell ‘STRIKE’, but that’s more baseball.”

“Oh, that would work! Especially if you hit me in the face,” Romance said consolingly. “You know that vanity is my sin of choice.”

“I’ll come back as a ghost and help guide you on your quest for revenge,” Mira promised. “And then we can have sex on Romance’s grave, just so he knows he’s not invited.”

“…I have to admit, I’d be more upset about that part than the murder.”

“Uh…” Abby turned to look at the bartender, who had a nervous grip on his tray of drinks. “Is this trouble in paradise, or do you just… talk about murder all the time?”

“We were having a great time, then you interrupted us,” Mira said defensively, and Abby wondered if he should just give the bartender a second tip now, or wait until the end of the night. “Just give us our drinks and leave us alone.”

“Sheesh, just doing my job here!” He put a tall, dark pink drink in front of her, then handed a copper mug to Abby. The last one was a pale yellow cocktail with a lemon peel swirl, which he gave to Romance. “Don’t bite my dick off, lady.”

“Like I’d even let you near it.”

“Okay! Thank you for the drinks! Have a nice night!” Abby hurried him off before anybody got hurt. “Oh Honmoon, that guy is weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Mira reached over to grab the mug. “He assumed I wanted the ‘girly’ drink.” 

“Wait, what makes mine girly?” Abby picked it up. The color matched his hair, the pink umbrella matched Mira’s, and the lemon wedge reminded him of Romance’s smile. He couldn’t think of anything better.

“People think that only girls can like fruity, colorful drinks. Apparently men can’t have joy.” Romance sipped his own bright, lemony cocktail. 

“Well, it sounds like the kind of bullshit Gwi-Ma would come up with. May we piss on his ashes!” Abby raised his glass in a toast, and his partners joined suit.

The Woo Woo didn’t taste as good as it looked, or as fun as it was to say. It was a bit bitter, but maybe that was the cranberry juice? Next time he’d go for a daiquiri, but for now he’s willing to endure the aftertaste if he can drink in the pleasure of his partners’ presence.

“I must say,” Romance gestured with his cocktail, somehow not spilling a drop. “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.”

“That’s not how the saying goes, loverboy.”

“That’s how my saying goes, beloved.”

“You can’t just make up sayings out of nowhere!”

“Why not? They all have to come from somewhere.”

“Yeah, but you can’t just change one word and claim that you invented a new saying?”

“Innovation must come from somewhere- right, darling?”

There was a pause that lasted a bit too long before Abby blinked, the movement strangely distracting. “Oh, I’m darling?”

“Yeah babe, you are.” Mira said, and hey- now her hand was holding his! When did that happen? “Are you okay? You’ve been way quieter than normal.”

“Really?” Yeah, he guessed he wasn’t talking. It just seemed like it’d take too much effort right now. Anyway… “I like when you guys talk.”

“That’s sweet, but if you talk with us, then we’ll be talking more,” Romance’s hand danced through Abby’s hair, touching his forehead to test… something. That’s nice. “Your forehead isn’t warm, but- your eyes are dilated. How do you feel?”

How did Abby feel? It was like the more he thought about it, the worst he felt- or maybe he’s felt bad the whole time and just didn’t realize?

The world was spinning, even as he just sat there, and his head and heart pounded in unison like… uh…

His whole job was music and he couldn’t even make a metaphor about it. That’s probably a bad sign.

“I don’t feel right… something’s wrong…” Abby slumped over in his seat. “My brain’s bad and there’s three of each of you, but not in a fun way.”

“Shit. SHIT!” It was hard to tell, what with how all the Miras blended together, but she seemed angrier than Abby ever saw her. Even madder than when she murdered him. “Abby, he thought that your drink was mine, right?”

“Yeah, the Woo Woo…” it was still fun to say, even if it was making his stomach feel gross. He tried doing that silly ‘choo choo’ motion Jinu did at Rumi sometimes, but his arm flopped over. “Woo woo!”

“I think he put something in your drink, Abby.” Mira said. Unless it wasn’t Mira- didn't they talk about that? Her hand was on his shoulder, and that meant she was actually Jinu and thatvshe won a prize.

Wait, what was the prize again? 

“Wait no… you were gonna get the special drink! ‘M Sorry, Mira…” Abby felt awful- he was such a bad boyfriend. “Gave him a tip an’ everything…”

“What special drink?” Oh hey, Romance is here now! That’s nice. When did he get there? “Stay with us, Abby.”

Why would he leave? Is it that the room was gonna spin him away from them? Maybe he just needs to answer the question, and then it’ll stop. And then they’ll go bowling?

Luckily, Romance repeated the question. Again? It sounded like he said it a bunch of times, but it all blended together.

“He said he’d make it uh… strong. Stronger. And that it’d make Mira sweet. And I said yes because Mira deserves all the nice things and kitty cats and also Zoey’s PowerPoint told me to.” 

“Argh, you beautiful idiot!” Mira shouted, but then she kissed his forehead so it wasn’t all bad. Just mostly bad. “Romance, I need you to get him into the bathroom in case he throws up, and take care of him. I’ll handle the asshole who’s drugging drinks.”

“Make him pay,” Romance said, which didn’t make sense because Abby already paid for the drinks, but it didn’t matter because Romance was holding him close and also Abby’s legs decided to stop working. Which was rude of them.

Things went hazier for a bit, until suddenly he was in a bathroom looking at cracked glass. “Ro, that guy looks like shit.”

“Oh darling… that’s you.” Romance ran a hand through Abby’s hair, and his reflection did the same. “Here, I got you some water.”

Abby drank it, mostly because Romance told him to. When he finished that bottle, Romance had him drink another while he refilled the first with tap water. And then Abby had to drink it too.

It did help, but mostly in a way that made Abby aware of how fucked up he was. So maybe it didn’t help at all. 

“Did I.. was it bad? The… drink thing?” He didn’t mean to do anything wrong- he just wanted Mira to have something nice- but it seems like it made everything worse.  

“You didn’t do anything bad,” Romance promised him. “But the bartender thought you wanted to do something bad to Mira. And so he… put drugs in your drink, because he thought that drink was Mira’s.”

“Wait… he thought I wanted Mira to feel like this?” Abby wouldn’t wish this on his worst enemy- well… maybe on Gwi-Ma? But not on his second worst enemy. “But I love Mira! And I love you.”

“I know, darling. And Mira knows you’d never hurt her. But…” Romance trailed off. “Even after all that time as a demon, I still don’t know what makes people do things like this. Or encourage others to do the same.”

“Gwi-Ma got souls outta it. I just gave him a big tip because uh…” Abby waved his arm, only to weakly hit Romance with it instead. “Oh shit, my brain can’t arm.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Romance squeezed his hand. “Can you feel that?”

“Yeah. I can feel. I just can’t move right?” Even in this hazy state, Abby knew that meant bad things for the intended victims. Including… “Mira!”

They left Mira alone with somebody who drugs other people! And as amazing as she is, her weapon only works on demons, and this guy was a human. Probably.

Abby stood up. Or at least he tried to, and didn’t hit his head on the sink, so that counted as a win. He didn’t need to walk anyway- he could teleport.

Well, he could teleport right above the alley besides the bar, but hey! He landed on a pile of trash bags, so at least that broke his fall.

And Mira was there! Soaked in blood and radiant as always while standing over the body of the bartender- dead? Unconscious? Abby didn’t know, and didn’t care. She held the remains of the copper mug in one hand, bloody and beaten almost flat by the force of repeated impacts.

“Abby? Babe, be careful!” She threw the mug to the ground in order to rush to his side, helping him up. “Are you okay?”

“No… I fucked up and I’m fucked up and I didn’t want you to get fucked up by that guy.” Abby tried pointing to the maybe-corpse Mira left behind. “I know you can take care of yourself but- I got scared.”

“You got roofied, idiot. Of course you’re scared.” Mira leaned into him, something solid to hold onto while the world spun around him. “Let us take care of you, okay? What do you need?”

“I want to kiss you but I can't because my mouth might still be poisoned.” Abby didn’t know if that was how it worked, but it wasn’t worth risking Mira’s safety over it.

“I’ll be okay, the drugs doesn’t last in your mouth.” Mira promised, kissing him gently. Her mouth tasted like blood, and it made him feel like everything would be alright.

“Mira!” Romance ran out the door. “Jinu’s sending Derpy to get us, but I don’t know where Abby went- ah.”

Oh right, his disappearing act probably worried his boyfriend. Well, there’s only one thing he can do about that!

Abby reached out, his limbs finally doing what he wanted them to do now that it’s something important, and pulled Romance into a kiss. The sting of absinthe filled his mouth, and with the blood it washed away the last of his worries.

He wasn’t okay, and he didn’t have to be. Abby had his two wonderful partners to be strong for him, and they’ll see him through this storm.

“Do you think Dr. Han takes house calls?”