Chapter Text
Stelle
“Are you okay?”
Those were the first words that I have ever said to her. She was sitting alone on a bench in the pouring rain, and I couldn't help but want to reach out to her.
And she was probably the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Her long, smooth, silver hair was perfectly brushed, and it framed her soft face perfectly. Her pale skin looked so incredibly soft and smooth. Her prismatic eyes were like the setting sun, and were still absolutely gorgeous even though they were dulled by profound sadness and despair. I guess even rainy sunsets are beautiful, but I wanted to make the light in her eyes shine again.
Oh, I'm staring, aren't I? I really should focus on her. I can't leave a pretty young lady alone in the rain like this. Not when she looks so hurt and sad. The gloomy weather didn't help either. It made her look like a lost puppy drenched in the rain. Even if the rain was washing off her make-up, her face still looked nothing short of perfection. She looked like a goddess.
And yet…
The rain had been relentless since noon, anyone else would've rushed home, but she's sitting here without any concern. She simply looked into the distance with a sad, forlorn look in her eyes.
So I had to call out to her to see what's wrong, the Galactic Baseballer never leaves anyone in need alone!
Her expression was heavily guarded, and her voice was raspy and cracked.
“I'm… fine. Thank you for your concern.”
“You're going to catch a cold like this, I can't leave a cute girl alone in the rain!” I say, striking a confident pose.
She averted her gaze, her cheeks turning pink. I show her my umbrella, before reaching out a hand.
“Come on, let's go home together.”
She blinked in surprise, before finally taking my hand and standing up. She was almost as tall as me, and we nearly stood shoulder to shoulder. She seemed not as tense as before, which was wonderful. I wanted her to feel safe and at ease. Even if I didn't know what was bothering her, I still felt an urge to protect her and keep her happy.
It's what I had to do, afterall.
And that's how I found myself walking side by side with a beautiful girl, sharing an umbrella. Cliche, I know, but it was certainly not unwelcome.
When we arrived at my apartment, I gently pointed it out, before telling her,
“This is where I live, so if you need to go somewhere else, you can leave now. I live at number 143, feel free to visit whenever!”
Before she could leave, I handed her my umbrella.
“Here, take this. There's no need to give it back. I'm Stelle, nice to meet you!”
She seemed oddly nervous, and she fidgeted with her dress.
“My name is- My name is Firefly! T-thank you!”
And so she turned around and left.
And she disappeared into the distance.
Firefly
So that's a complete disaster. I sigh, clutching the umbrella she gave me. We actually lived in the same apartment, and a part of me wanted to go with her, but I just couldn't face her. Not after telling her such a horrible lie.
So I turned and ran, like I always do.
Stelle. That was the name of the most popular girl in the school we go to. She was beautiful, incredibly so. Her gray hair was gorgeous, no matter how “poorly kept” it is. It made her seem like a majestic lioness, standing tall and proud. She's strong, really strong. She was probably the most athletic person I have ever known. Her strength was borderline superhuman, and she was the captain of the baseball team, earning so many trophies for our school.
Even if her grades were average, she was charismatic and selfless to a fault. Endlessly kind and always helping others, like she did to me moments ago. She was a member of the Nameless, a group of amazing students with incredible contributions to both the school and the community as a whole. All of her friends are, too. She had shining golden eyes, much like how she was the shining star of the school, like her namesake. Everyone idolises her, as she truly was a wonderful person. She was everything I aspired to be.
Which also made her everything I am not.
She was true to herself, while I am out here living a lie, a lie called “Firefly”.
And even these twisted delusions of mine were fading, just like me. My voice is so much worse than it was before, and there are… marks on my face I would rather not think about. Soon enough, I would be gone, and there's nothing I can do about it. I really don't want to think about it.
I took the long way round to my- no, our apartment (she lives in the same building, remember), and when I reached the lobby my head was spinning and my legs felt heavy. I leaned against the wall as I rode the elevator up. I'm just so tired.
I slowly limped towards the door, but not before gazing at the number plate. 119. That puts me directly opposite Stelle, doesn't it. What an amusing sight. We're direct opposites, aren't we. In a way, she's the elite of the school, while I'm a complete nobody. Sure, I got good grades, but that was the only thing notable about me. All people saw was this quiet, edgy… kid with no friends and is proficient in martial arts. No one cares about me, and everyone cares about Stelle.
I walk through my door, not even bothering to close it behind me. My living room is a complete mess. Pizza boxes and soda cans and packaging everywhere. I never bothered to clean it up, in fact, I dumped all of my garbage in here. I spend all my free time locked up in my room anyway.
It's not like I ever truly lived.
I gently open the door, before shutting it behind me. This is my room. I'm safe here. Everything will be okay. This is a safe space. I take deep breaths to calm myself down. It's going to be okay. I'm safe.
I gaze around my room. There was my plain bed, my mandatory shark plushie, Robin posters (her songs are just so good! I love them!), a make-up station, accessories and…
A video game console. A monitor. A laptop. A sword. Mecha kits.
How girly…
I took off my wig. And removed my make-up. And changed out of my dress. And I couldn't help but look into the mirror, even if I knew how much it would hurt.
Absolutely hideous.
This was the real me, and there's nothing I can do to change that.
I sigh and collapse into bed, but not before texting Wolfie goodnight. She was one of my only friends, and I know she would be worried sick if I don't say anything.
Tomorrow is a school day, I need to brace myself for another day of hiding and masking and…
It's fine, I'm used to this by now.
I need to keep fighting. Keep holding on. Even if it's for the thinnest of silver linings, for the small chance that I can escape from this fate I'm assigned.
I want to live as myself.
It's a wish I want to achieve so badly.
That night, I dreamed of shooting stars.