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Every relationship has its conflicts; Sam and Bucky are no exception. Adding to the fact that they were both part of a superhero team, the scale of conflicts got much bigger. Sure they had their domestic disputes like everyone else, but with the occasional you almost died, you idiot thrown into the mix.
Even though Sam hated to admit it, Bucky was entitled to worry more because Sam was not enhanced like him or Steve. Sometimes the other Avengers would forget that and sometimes Sam would forget that.
*
“He’s stable now, you can see him, Mr. Barnes.”
“Thank you, Dr. Cho,” he said with a tired smile and entered Sam’s room in the infirmary of the facility they lived in. Sam, Steve, and Bucky decided that they wanted to stay in Wakanda for now; it felt like home.
Bucky pulled a chair up to Sam’s bedside, leaned his arms on the bed, and took a minute to look at Sam. His right eye swollen shut, left arm in a sling, and various bandages scattered on his body from top to bottom.
Sam woke up with a groan, body aching all over. He got shot down by a missile that he thought he out fly and it blew off one wing sending Sam plummeting to the ground.
“Sam,” Bucky said solemnly. He was able to breath normally again now that he knew Sam was breathing too.
“Hey, Buck.” Sam had to turn his head quite a bit to be able to see Bucky with his uninjured eye. “What?” He asked, but already knew why Bucky had that pinched look.
“You know what, Sam. We are in a hospital room. You are hooked up to a heart monitor. Steve told me this was the worst crash you’ve ever had.”
“I’m okay now, Jamie. No need to worry about me,” Sam tried to sound like every time he move it didn’t hurt like hell.
Bucky laid his right hand on Sam’s thigh and Sam held on weakly. “I want to join the Avengers, I don’t want to sit back and watch anymore.”
“Are you ready for that? If you are I can tell Steve,” Sam replied.
“I think I am. I want to be there for you, I want to be there for the team.” Bucky ducked his and his cheeks reddened a little at his confession.
“Do you want to fight with the team so you can babysit me?” Sam accused.
“I know you can hold your own, Sammy. It’s just if something goes south, I want to be there right when it happens and help right away. Hearing that you crashed and got knocked out was terrifying. All I could do was just sit here and wait, I felt so helpless.”
Sam sighed and squeezed Bucky’s hand, understanding his side. “I would feel the same way. It would be helpful to have another super soldier around.”
Bucky smiled at Sam and they sat there in content silence for a few minutes. A thought occurred to Sam, “you know, my lips aren’t injured.” Bucky snorted and leaned up to press his lips to Sam’s, careful and slow and Sam’s body finally relaxed.
*
Sam, Steve, and Bucky were all in the gym working out, sometimes with each other, but mostly alone. Bucky was in the corner with a punching bag and listening to Sam’s ipod, because he had way more music. A few minutes into his routine he could hear yelling over the music, he took out the headphones and turned to turn to see a heated argument brewing between Sam and Steve.
Bucky thought it would be better for him to stay back and would only intervene if it went too far. Knowing how stubborn both of them were, it wouldn’t take long.
“I don’t see why you are so against Tony on this,” Sam said.
“Because it could potentially endanger people, Sam. You know what happened with Ultron. That was Tony’s fault,” Steve shot back, putting his hands on his hips.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you are still on that! Plus that was one incidence, you know how many great things Tony’s created before and since then?”
“Yeah like all of the weapons of mass destruction?”
“Those were meant to protect people, but he stopped that. He was able to admit when hewas wrong, unlike you,” Sam spat.
Steve’s eyes narrowed, “Watch yourself, Wilson.”
“You just don’t want to admit I’m right,” Sam challenged. Then he gestured at Bucky who was still watching them, “Hey, Buck, back me up here!”
That was Bucky’s cue to intervene. Without a word he walked over to Sam and swiftly tossed him over his shoulder fireman style, which turned Sam’s smug look into a shocked one.
“What the fuck are you doing, Barnes! I’m winning here!” Sam yelled as Bucky gave Steve an apologetic look.
“If you will excuse my hot headed boyfriend, I think he’s done,” Bucky said to Steve.
Steve’s eyes widened hugely, “BOYFRIEND?!” Bucky swallowed hard and quickly made his way out of the gym with Sam slung over his shoulder yelling all the while to be put down; he just wanted to escape this whole situation. Right before the double doors closed behind them, Bucky heard Steve shout, “GODDAMMIT, SAM.”
“So I’m guessing Steve didn’t know about us then?” Bucky heard Sam ask somewhere behind his head.
“Well now he knows. Oops,” Bucky said laughing a little at the ridiculousness of what just happened. “By the way, don’t fight Steve. He would have your ass and not in the fun way.”
“Yeah, that’s reserved for your hotheaded boyfriend.”
Bucky smacked Sam’s butt, since it was right by his head, making Sam laugh all the way back to their room.
*
One of the ever present problems each of them have been working through are the nightmares. After the incident of having their bodies switched, their nightmares came back full force. Although now they had recurring ones of each other’s. For a full week they could hardly sleep, both of them waking up panicked, not wanting to sleep again.
They got a routine down; whoever woke up first would wake the other and they would make something hot to drink and occupy themselves until the sun rose. It got exhausting, but soon the nightmares came less frequently. Dying down to every other night, then once a week, and eventually they could go a month without a single nightmare.
One night Bucky woke with a start and and saw Sam sleeping soundly. He got up, went to the bathroom, and then made himself some tea. It was 3 a.m. so he hoped Sam was sleeping deeply enough to stay asleep. Once the tea was made he stood in front of the floor to ceiling windows and gazed at the foggy jungle landscape. He could see his reflection in the window and noticed that despite the bags under his eyes, he didn’t look blank anymore. He felt whole again and saw the softness in his own eyes. He quietly thanked the universe for Sam.
Sam turned over in bed and noticed the empty space where Bucky should’ve been. He rubbed his eyes and got up, knowing he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep without knowing Bucky was okay. He stopped in the living room entryway when he caught sight of Bucky. Sam saw the calm stillness in Bucky’s stance and let himself watch for a few moments.
Bucky saw Sam’s reflection in the window and a gave a small wave without turning around. Only then did Sam approach Bucky, knowing his presence wouldn’t be a surprise. When he was close enough, Sam wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist from behind and pressed his forehead between Bucky’s shoulders, just listening to him breath.
After a few moments Sam lifted his head and met Bucky’s eyes in the window, “you okay?”
“Yeah. I had a nightmare. But it was different,” Bucky started. Sam hummed, waiting for him to continue. “I was here. At first it seemed peaceful, everything was quiet and calm. Then I walked around looking for you and you were no where. No one was here, in fact every room was empty and desolate. It was like the opposite of claustrophobia, the world felt too big and empty.”
“I have similar dreams sometimes,” Sam said.
“What do they mean?”
“I think it means that you have found something that you’re afraid of losing. Loneliness scares you now.”
Bucky put one hand on Sam’s cheek and turned to look him in the eyes. “I think you’re right.” He leaned in and kissed Sam. “Don’t ever leave, Sammy,” he said between heated kisses.
“Never, baby,” Sam whispered against Bucky’s lips and tightened his arms.
No matter how big the conflicts Bucky and Sam encountered were, they stayed manageable as long as they came back together in the end.