Chapter Text
"Katsuki."
Bakugou couldn't turn his head around any faster at the sound of the stupid nerd's voice calling his name.
Half of the room fell silent just as Bakugou did, as he now stood facing a sheepish Izuku.
"The hell did you just-"
"I can't do sparring with you today! I have some- uh- other things that came up! Sorry." Deku looked fucking shy and averted his gaze to the floor, scratching his neck. The fuck?
"You can't just fucking cancel shit when you feel like it. I planned-"
"Midoriya! Oh my god! Is that a hickey?" Raccoon eyes all but screeched, causing the other classmates to turn to look at Deku. He became impossibly, stupidly red as he started stuttering and mispronouncing every other word.
"-no well I- I mean- it's- a bug bite! Must be! Anyway, gotta go! Bye everyone!" He stammered as he ran off to the stairs and yelled after himself, "Sorry Katsuki!"
And there it was again. Bakugou's fucking brain wasn't hallucinating, even though he actually started considering it.
Suddenly, his fucked up heart started malfunctioning. Was he having some random burst of heart palpitations? What's with stupid, shitty Deku calling him by his name after over a decade of not using it? He was left staring after the hallway in which the nerd scattered off to.
A hickey?
The room erupted into chaos, laughs and guesses. Did Deku get a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend, as Round face insisted on correcting the others. Everyone was throwing wild assumptions left and right, but Katsuki still couldn't quite get a hold of himself yet.
Something was bubbling deep in his stomach and rising to his throat. Was it anger? Anger was familiar. This stupid feeling didn't feel familiar at all.
"Hey, Bakugou. You good, man?" Shitty hair hung his arm around Katsuki's neck, looking at him with his brow quirked.
"Tch. I'm fucking fine, asshole. Why wouldn't I be? If shitty Deku's gonna cancel our training sessions to go do some stupid, corny shit then that ain't my fucking problem. It just means I'll get that much ahead of him!" Yes. That makes sense. Katsuki's just excited at the prospect of Deku getting sidetracked with romance or whatever shit and finally getting one up on him. It sounds convincing, even to himself.
~◇~
So, the idiot nerd kept blowing off Katsuki's sparring session suggestions. To make matters worse, he's been basically ignoring him at lunch, at the dorms and in any kind of class that would warrant their interaction. Stupid Deku was probably feeling guilty about not wanting to spar and train less now that he had other things to do. All the while having the nerve to call him his given name. Katsuki this and Katsuki that, Katsuki, Katsuki, Katsuki! To Katsuki's ears it started sounding more like a goddamn curse word rather than his own name. It's been weeks since he heard the annoying, childish nickname. That he would never in this life admit to missing. That useless, unidentified feeling from before didn't go away yet. No, it tucked itself right into Katsuki's gut and wouldn't leave.
"Oi! Nerd! Get over here!" Katsuki was nothing if not persistent. His idiotic sparring partner was busy? Fuck that shit. He wasn't going to keep getting stood up like this!
Deku turned around at the call and had a strange, almost pained expression. He jogged over to the couch in the dorms Katsuki was currently occupying.
"Kac-tsuki!" Katsuki's eye twitched. Stupid-ass name. "Hey. Didn't see you sitting here. What's up?" Deku smiled politely, nodding his head to the side. His annoying green curls bounced along with his head.
"You've been avoiding our training sessions. Standing me up for our spars. It's pissing me the fuck off." Deku's smile fell right off his face. His posture got slightly more upright. "I get you got shit to do, other than being a hero. But I'm still working towards that. So, by canceling on me, you're actively sabotaging me from training with the best opponent and thus stunting my fucking growth. So, cut that shit out!" He said it. He said a whole bunch of things that were pissing him off, because Katsuki wasn't interested in being quiet about them. This whole ignoring thing was affecting him too much. For reasons still not completely clear to him.
Deku was staring at him intensely. There was a glimmer of something in his stare that Katsuki, for the life of him, couldn't recognize. He has never seen it in Deku's eyes in this way before.
Deku sighed.
"Ah, packing an insult and a compliment in one scolding speech should be considered a quirk." Then he paused. He had a sad smile on his face. Katsuki started feeling the pit in his stomach opening at the thought that maybe his wording was harsher than it should have been. If anyone's as serious about being a hero as much as himself, it was Deku. Though these recent weeks were proving otherwise.
Deku looked at his hands resting on his lap and continued, "I still very much aim to be the number one hero, just like you. So don't start writing me off, just for wanting to experience other things too." He paused again, bringing his hand to scratch behind his neck. "It's not that I'm trying to- uh- cut down on training. I do still spar a lot, just not- uh- with you, Katsuki." Fuck that shitty name again.
"The fuck?" He was getting angry now. Well, angrier.
"Ah- hold on. That- I mean. I haven't been avoiding sessions or training! I've been avoiding-"
"Me. What the actual fuck, Deku?"
"Wait! That didn't come out right!" Deku looked on the verge of combusting, but Katsuki didn't feel any better. Why the hell was the nerd avoiding him? He didn't even do that shit in middle school. Was this about that? Did Deku finally come to his senses about his forgiveness? Has he finally decided that Katsuki's still that no-good, shitty bully he once was, instead of a good friend and partner he had tried so hard to become?
"Let me explain." Deku took a breath to steady himself. Katsuki imitated, opting for the safer option his therapist recommended, instead of blowing up the couch they were currently sitting on.
"My-uh my boyfriend, Naoto, he- well. He thought you and I were 'too close'. He was, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but he was a little insecure about our friendship, Kacchan- I mean! Katsuki! Oh no." Deku lowered his head. "I am so bad at this dating thing. I can't even keep a promise I made to him." Katsuki was too stunned at this confession to muster up words. He could, however, still notice Deku's eyes welling with tears. No amount of shock or pain or anything at all in the whole world could stop him from being synchronized to Izuku's emotions and body language. He became so attuned to them since the first year, he would recognize him being hurt no matter what.
The urge to comfort being stronger than his urge to lash out, Katsuki put his hand on Deku's back and gently stroked it. After everything they went through, they both learned that words were sometimes too much. In a way, the two of them had their own specific body language for situations like this. It all came like a reflex to Katsuki, even he was surprised by it.
"Breathe. Deku. Relax. You're fine."
"Kacchan, I'm not having a panic attack, it's okay. I mean, Katsuki. Ah, damn it." Deku lifted his head from where it ended up in his hands and looked at Katsuki. "I'm just so disappointed in myself because of this whole situation. I like Naoto! I really do. I wanted to do right by him and his request. But you're my best friend! Ignoring you, avoiding you! It's so hard. Especially when you decide to give me a compliment like that! I hate this!" Deku groaned, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Katsuki was trying super hard to be compassionate and understanding. He really was. But first Deku's asshole of a boyfriend basically makes him stay away from Katsuki and now he makes him cry? Again, for reasons completely unknown to him, Katsuki was beyond upset. At Deku's shitty, stupid, no-good boyfriend. They were friends. They got really close after the war and everything they went through together. So what if they were a little too codependent sometimes? Katsuki didn't mind. And he knows Deku sure as hell didn't either. So this irrelevant extra (Katsuki was urged not to use this adjective anymore, but some situations call for it) decides he has a right to butt in? And then stress Deku out so much, he has a near breakdown in the middle of the day? No, thank you, Katsuki's not going to allow that.
While he was spacing out and trying to sort his angry feelings, Deku's crying calmed down.
"Sorry, Kacchan. Katsuki. Bakugou. Bakugou Katsuki-"
"Oi, nerd. Did you finally fry your brain? You gonna go around calling me by my full name, instead of growing a backbone in a relationship?" Ah, that didn't come out right. He needs to remember what he learned about misdirecting his anger. Deku's eyes grew so large from surprise and hurt, he needed to backtrack.
"No. Wait. I didn't- mean it like that. Shit."
"Kacchan-?"
"Fuck. Give me a sec." He took a breath. "What I said, that was mean. It came out wrong." Growth. Deep breaths and better use of words. He has been working on that. "I meant, you shouldn't let your stupid boyfriend dictate who you can or cannot be friends with." Especially not if it's Katsuki. "That's controlling behavior! I would know. No matter how much you like the dude, you can't let him control you like that! It's ridiculous. He should be happy you chose him in the first place. That should make him secure enough in your relationship. Your -uh, your honest feelings are supposed to be enough for someone to trust you. If they don't, then they are either projecting or don't deserve your care." Ah, when did he get this ridiculously mushy and cringey? Katsuki was going to throw up. These words leaving his mouth were so unfamiliar and cheesy, he should've just-
There was rustling and in the blink of an eye Deku was on him. Well, not on him. Around him. Hugging him?
"Thank you, Kacchan. This, that's- I needed to hear it. I was worried about this so much lately. But, you're right. I know that. You're always right. I guess I was just.. In a foggy mindset. But you made it all clear to me. So, thank you." Deku squeezed him in a hug and Katsuki was dumbfounded. They haven't really.. hugged. Not in years. There was necessary holding from injuries and/or exhaustion, but like this? He can't remember, really. Has it always felt so... right?
Katsuki's arms finally moved to return the gesture and hold Deku close. Maybe being all mushy and stupid and feel-y wasn't so bad once in a while, if it was going to end up making them close like this. Wait. Why would Katsuki even want to hold Deku close like-
The hug was over far too early. Deku moved back and wiped the remaining tears, replacing them with a bright smile. Has he always been so beautiful? Were his freckles always this cute?
"I think I know what to do now!" Deku got up abruptly, without even waiting for Katsuki to speak.
"Idiot! You can't just-" the nerd was already gone. Why was Katsuki's heart beating so fast? He felt confused. The anger dissipated and there was a strange feeling tugging at him. Everything he felt these past few weeks was starting to be clear to him. Was this- no way. Katsuki doesn't- He doesn't get these stupid, silly feelings. For anyone. Especially not for- This was wrong. Oh, so wrong.