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The apartment was already full when Ijin finally arrived.
006 sat on the couch with a controller in hand, mid-game. His blonde hair caught the afternoon light streaming through the window, and he was slouched in that particular way that suggested he'd been there for hours. 032 stood at the kitchen counter with mission reports spread across the surface, his dark eyes scanning the documents with methodical precision. 002 leaned against the wall near the window, arms crossed over his chest, his posture radiating the same controlled tension he always carried. 016 occupied the other chair, scrolling through his phone with one leg bounced restlessly. 005 was making tea, her long hair tied back in a practical ponytail, movements efficient and deliberate.
"Late," 006 said without looking up from his screen. His fingers never stopped moving on the controller.
"Traffic," Ijin said. He moved to the remaining empty chair and sat, settling into the worn cushion with careful precision.
The monthly meeting proceeded. Updates on current situations. Brief discussion of potential threats. 032 ran through logistics, his finger tracing lines on the reports as he spoke. 002 contributed minimal input, his gaze fixed somewhere in the middle distance. 016 asked questions, leaning forward with genuine curiosity. 005 kept things moving, her voice calm and measured as she poured tea into mismatched mugs.
Ijin participated when directly addressed. Single words when possible. Brief phrases when necessary. Normal.
Except he kept checking his phone. His hand would drift to his pocket, fingers curling around the device, pulling it out to glance at the screen before putting it away again. And his attention kept drifting, gaze unfocused on the wall past 032's shoulder.
"001," 002 said after Ijin failed to respond to a direct question. His eyes had narrowed slightly, tracking the movement. "Listening?"
Ijin blinked, head turning sharply toward 002. "What?"
"I asked about activity near your school." 002's arms tightened across his chest.
"No. Nothing."
"You sure?" 002's eyebrow rose fractionally.
"Yes."
006 paused his game, the sudden silence from the TV making the room feel heavier. He twisted on the couch to look at Ijin properly, controller dangling from one hand. "You've checked your phone like ten times. What's going on?"
"Nothing."
"That's twice," 032 observed, setting down the paper he'd been holding. He leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms in a mirror of 002's posture. "You only say nothing repeatedly when you're hiding something."
Ijin's jaw tightened slightly, a muscle jumping near his ear. He said nothing, his gaze dropping to his knees.
"Meeting's over anyway," 005 said, settling into a chair with her tea cradled in both hands. Her expression had shifted from professional to concerned, the lines around her eyes softening. "So talk. What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"Three times," 006 said cheerfully, grinning now as he tossed the controller onto the couch cushion beside him. "New record. Come on, what is it?"
Ijin was quiet for a long moment, his shoulders drawing inward slightly. Multiple sets of eyes on him, waiting. Five people watching him with varying degrees of curiosity and concern. He shifted in his chair, spine straightening like he was bracing for impact.
"Unusual symptoms," he finally said, the words clipped and careful. "Been monitoring them."
"Symptoms?" 005 set down her tea with a soft click against the table, leaning forward. Her dark eyes sharpened. "What kind?"
"Elevated heart rate. Increased temperature. Difficulty focusing."
"Could be a lot of things," 032 said, pushing off from the counter to move closer. His brow furrowed, arms uncrossing. "Did you check for toxins?"
"Checked everything."
"And?" 002 asked, his voice flat but his posture had shifted, no longer just casually leaning. Alert now.
"Nothing. Tests normal."
"Then why do you think something's wrong?" 006 asked, tilting his head. His blonde hair fell across his forehead as he studied Ijin with open curiosity.
"Specific triggers. Predictable patterns." Ijin's voice was carefully neutral, but his hands had moved to rest on his knees, fingers pressing into the fabric. "Been monitoring for three weeks."
"Three weeks?" 002's eyes narrowed further, his jaw tightening. He pushed off from the wall, standing straighter. "You're just mentioning this now?"
"Thought I could identify the cause. Couldn't."
"What are the triggers?" 032 asked, crossing his arms again. His head tilted slightly, analytical.
Quiet. Ijin's hands pressed harder against his knees, knuckles whitening slightly against the dark fabric. His gaze stayed fixed on the floor between his feet.
"Social interactions," he said finally, the words forced out like they hurt.
"That's vague," 006 said, leaning forward now, elbows on his knees. His grin had faded into something more focused. "Be specific."
"Specific individuals. At school."
The room's attention sharpened visibly. 032 and 006 exchanged a glance. 005's eyebrows rose. 016 stopped bouncing his leg, sitting very still. Even 002's carefully neutral expression flickered with something that might have been interest.
"What kind of interactions?" 005 asked.
"Normal. Conversations. Nothing unusual."
"But they trigger symptoms," 002 said.
"Yes."
"Medical causes ruled out?"
"Yes."
"Then what is it?" 032 asked.
Ijin's hands tightened slightly. "Don't know."
006 leaned back, studying him. Something shifted in his expression. "These people. They threatening you?"
"No."
"Making you uncomfortable?"
"...Yes."
"But not in a bad way?" 006's grin was widening.
Ijin said nothing. Which was answer enough.
"Oh, this is good," 006 said. "Symptoms get worse with proximity?"
"Yes."
"During conversation?"
"Yes."
"Especially when they smile or laugh?"
Ijin's jaw worked. "How did you-"
"Because you're not sick, you idiot." 006 was definitely laughing now. "You're attracted to someone."
"No." Immediate and flat.
"All your symptoms match," 032 said, amusement clear in his voice. "That's textbook attraction."
"It's not."
"You ran diagnostics for three weeks because you have a crush," 006 said. "That's the most 001 thing I've ever heard."
"I don't have a crush."
"Then explain the symptoms," 002 said bluntly.
"There's another explanation."
"Name it," 006 challenged.
"Environmental factors. Stress response."
"Bullshit," 006 said cheerfully. "You're just in denial."
"I'm being logical."
"You're being an idiot," 032 said. Not unkindly, but not gently either. "Just admit you like someone."
"I don't."
"Then why does your heart rate increase when they smile?" 006 asked, gesturing at Ijin with one hand.
Ijin's face had started to flush darker. He didn't answer, just stared determinedly at the floor.
"So who is it?" 006 asked, settling back into the couch like he was getting comfortable for a show. "Who's making you malfunction?"
"Not malfunctioning." Ijin's hands had curled into loose fists on his knees.
"You literally described malfunctioning for three weeks."
"Different."
"How?" 006 spread his hands, expression innocent.
Silence. Ijin's shoulders had drawn in tighter, making him look smaller than usual.
"Is it a girl from your class?" 005 asked gently.
Ijin's jaw tightened. "No."
"Different class?"
"...No."
006's eyes narrowed slightly, something clicking into place. "Wait. Not a girl?"
The silence stretched longer this time. Ijin's flush, which had started to fade, came back darker than before. His hands pressed harder against his knees.
"Oh," 032 said, eyebrows rising. "Oh."
"It's a guy," 006 said, not quite a question. His expression had shifted from teasing to something more careful, more watchful.
Ijin said nothing. Which was the answer enough.
The room went quiet for a beat. 016 looked confused, glancing between the others. 005's expression had softened further. 032 looked thoughtful. 002's face remained neutral, but something in his posture had relaxed slightly.
"Okay," 006 said finally, leaning back. "Okay, that explains the extra three weeks of denial."
"I wasn't-" Ijin started, then stopped. His shoulders had hunched forward defensively.
"You absolutely were," 006 said, but his tone had lost most of its teasing edge. "Running medical diagnostics instead of just admitting you're attracted to someone? That's peak denial. Running them for three weeks? That's 'I don't know how to process this' denial."
"It's more complicated than that," Ijin said quietly.
"Is it?" 002 asked. His voice was flat, but not unkind. "Or are you making it complicated?"
Ijin's hands clenched harder. He didn't answer.
"Look," 005 said gently, setting her tea down and leaning forward. "Whether it's a guy or a girl doesn't change the fundamental situation. You're attracted to someone. That's what you're dealing with."
"It adds variables," Ijin said, his voice strained.
"What variables?" 006 asked, genuinely curious now.
"Social. Practical. Personal." Ijin's gaze stayed fixed on his knees. "Didn't expect this."
"Nobody expects it," 032 said with a shrug. "That's not how attraction works. You don't get to choose who triggers those responses."
"Doesn't help," Ijin muttered.
"No, it doesn't," 002 agreed bluntly. "But it's still reality. Deal with it."
016 finally spoke up, his voice uncertain. "Does it... I mean, does it matter? That it's a guy?"
"Apparently it matters to him," 032 said, gesturing at Ijin's hunched posture.
"Shouldn't," 002 said flatly. His tone was matter-of-fact, almost dismissive of the concern. "Attraction is attraction."
"Easy for you to say," Ijin muttered.
"Yes. It is." 002's gaze was steady, unflinching. "Because it's true. The gender doesn't change anything about what you're experiencing."
"Except that it does," Ijin said, frustration bleeding into his voice now. "It's another thing I have to figure out. Another thing that doesn't make sense."
"What doesn't make sense about it?" 005 asked gently.
"All of it." Ijin's hands were trembling slightly now. "I don't know what it means. About me. About anything."
"It means you're attracted to guys," 006 said, making it sound simple. "Or at least this guy. That's all it means."
"That's not-" Ijin stopped, jaw clenching. "It's more than that."
"Is it?" 032 asked, head tilting. "Or are you overthinking it?"
"I'm not overthinking it."
"You ran medical diagnostics for three weeks," 006 pointed out. "That's literally the definition of overthinking."
Ijin was quiet, his flush deepening again.
"This person," 002 said, cutting through the discussion. His voice was calm, controlled. "They dangerous?"
"No." Ijin's head came up slightly.
"Pressuring you?" 002's eyes were sharp, tracking every micro-expression.
"No."
"Then what's the actual problem?" 002 pushed off from where he'd been standing, moving to sit in one of the empty chairs. The change in position made the conversation feel more serious somehow, more grounded. "Is it the attraction itself? Or the fact that it's a guy?"
Ijin was quiet for a long moment, his gaze dropping back to his knees. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "Both. Don't know how to handle either."
"Handle what specifically?" 005 asked. Her tone was patient, like she was coaxing information from a skittish animal. "Having feelings for someone? Or having feelings for a guy?"
"Both," Ijin repeated, the word strained. "All of it. Don't know what I'm supposed to do. How I'm supposed to act. What any of this means."
"You don't have to do anything," 006 said. His usual grin had faded into something more serious, more genuine. "You can just... let yourself feel it. Figure it out as you go."
"That's not a plan." Ijin's brow furrowed, frustration clear in the line between his eyes.
"It's not supposed to be," 005 said softly. "Feelings don't need plans. They just need acknowledgment."
"Everything needs a plan," Ijin insisted, but his voice had lost some of its certainty.
"Not this," 032 said, leaning against the counter again. "This is just something you experience. You can't strategize your way through attraction."
"Why not?"
"Because it doesn't work like that," 006 said, spreading his hands. "Trust me, we've all tried. It's inefficient and messy and completely illogical, and you just have to deal with it anyway."
"I hate that," Ijin said quietly.
"We know," 005 said, sympathy clear in her voice. "But that's how it is."
Ijin was silent for a long moment, his shoulders still hunched defensively. The room waited, patient.
"So what do I do now?" he finally asked, voice small.
"Stop overthinking," 006 said. "That's step one."
"And step two?"
"Accept that you're attracted to this guy and figure out what you want to do about it." 006 shrugged, the gesture casual. "If anything."
"I don't know what I want to do about it."
"Then don't do anything," 032 said simply. "Just acknowledge it exists and keep living your life."
"That's not helpful."
"It's realistic," 002 said, his tone matter-of-fact. "You can't force clarity. It comes when it comes."
"How long does that take?" There was something almost desperate in the question.
"Could be days. Could be months." 006 shrugged again. "Depends on the person and the situation."
Ijin looked vaguely horrified, his eyes widening slightly. "Months?"
"Welcome to being human," 032 said, not sympathetically at all. His expression remained neutral, almost clinical. "It's inefficient and terrible and we all have to deal with it."
"But I'm friends with them," Ijin said suddenly, the words bursting out like they'd been held back too long. "That makes everything worse."
The room's attention sharpened again.
"Oh," 006 said, understanding dawning. "Oh, that's why you're freaking out so much."
"Not freaking out," Ijin said automatically, but without conviction.
"You absolutely are," 006 said. "And honestly? Fair. Having feelings for a friend is rough."
He leaned back, thinking. Then his eyes widened slightly, something clicking into place. "Wait. Friend from school. Guy. Black hair?" He sat up straighter, pointing at Ijin. "Is it the black-haired kid who hit me with his car?"
The room went dead silent.
Then it exploded.
"What???" 005's tea cup clattered against the table.
"Someone hit you with a car?" 032 straightened from the counter, his analytical expression replaced with sharp concern.
"When the hell did this happen?" 016 demanded, sitting up straight.
006 waved his hand dismissively, still grinning at Ijin. "It was a big while ago. Not a big deal."
"Not a big deal???" 005's voice had gone up several octaves.
"It barely touched me," 006 said. "More like... aggressively nudged. With a vehicle."
"That's still getting hit by a car!" 032's hands had moved to his hips, his tone sharp. "Were you injured?"
"Just some bruises. I'm fine." 006 protested, but his grin had faded slightly under the combined weight of their stares. "001 was in a fight with me. The kid saw, thought 001 was in danger, and... improvised."
"Improvised vehicular assault," 032 said flatly.
"Technically it was a motorcycle, not a car," 006 clarified. "He rammed the bike. I just happened to be on it."
"Oh, well, that makes it so much better," 005 said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "He only destroyed property while you were using it."
"The bike was fine! Mostly. Minor damage. What matters is the situation was handled. 001 shooed him away so we could talk about things."
"The situation was NOT handled if 001 is now having a crisis over having feelings for his would-be vigilante," 032 pointed out.
Ijin's face had gone even darker, if that was possible. He'd somehow managed to sink lower in his chair, looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.
"Can we not," Ijin started.
"The kid's not a threat," 006 interrupted. "Honestly, he was just worried about 001. His intent was solid."
"Still reckless," 032 observed.
"Extremely reckless," 006 agreed. "But his heart was in the right place. Just... not his brain. He made a split-second call based on incomplete information."
"Sounds like a match made in heaven for 001," 005 said dryly, earning a glare from Ijin.
"It's not funny," Ijin said, his voice low and tight.
"A little bit funny," 006 said. "You, of all people, are attracted to someone who solves problems with vehicular combat."
"He doesn't solve problems that way," Ijin said, defensive. "That was one time. One specific situation where he misread what was happening."
006 looked at him, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Which, okay, that's actually kind of sweet. He saw you in danger and didn't even hesitate."
"He should have hesitated," Ijin grumbled. "He should have assessed the situation first. For his own safety.”
"He just cares about you," 005 said softly. She glanced at 002, who gave a small nod of acknowledgment.
"That's not the point," Ijin said.
"It's kind of the point," 032 argued. "The whole point, actually. He cared enough to act, even if the action was wrong. That suggests genuine concern."
Ijin was quiet, his jaw working. His hands had uncurled from their fists, fingers now fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve.
"So this friend," 002 said, his tone businesslike. "What's his personality like? Beyond the reckless car thing."
"He's... he's calm. Usually. Thoughtful. He's kind to people when he doesn't have to be, but still aggressive when needed. He works as a bodyguard." Ijin's voice had gotten quieter, almost dreamlike.
"Which is why he's probably good for you," 006 said.
"That's not how this works," Ijin protested weakly.
"Why not?" 002 asked.
"Because..." Ijin trailed off, unable to articulate the reasons that had seemed so logical in his head.
"Because you're scared," 005 said gently. "Because if you pursue this and it doesn't work out, you lose a friend. Because you don't know how to process these feelings, so part of you wants to ignore them until they go away."
Ijin looked at her sharply, as if she'd read directly from his mind.
"All of those are valid concerns," 005 continued. "But they're also not insurmountable."
"How would I even talk to him about this?" Ijin asked, his voice small. "What would I say? 'I've been overthinking for three weeks because you make my heart rate increase'?"
"That would certainly be memorable," 006 said, barely suppressing a grin.
"Not helpful," Ijin said flatly.
"You could start simple," 032 suggested. "Spend more time with him outside of school, and not with other friends. Get a better sense of whether this is just physical attraction or if there's something deeper."
"And if it's deeper?"
"Then you figure out if he feels the same way," 005 said. "You could hint around it. Test the waters. See how he reacts."
"That's manipulative," Ijin said.
"It's called flirting," 006 said. "Welcome to the social awkwardness that the rest of us deal with constantly."
Ijin looked genuinely troubled by this information, like he'd been hoping there was a more efficient way to navigate human connection.
"Look," 002 said, his voice cutting through the tangent. "Here's what I know. You're attracted to this kid. You're friends with him. That's actually a good starting point because you already know you have something in common. The question is whether you want to risk the friendship for the possibility of more."
"And what if I decide I don't?"
"Then you work on moving on," 002 said simply. "It sucks, but it's doable. You've done harder things."
Ijin nodded slowly, absorbing this.
"But for what it's worth," 005 said, "the fact that he tried to protect you, even if it was misguided, suggests he might not be totally indifferent to you."
"Or he's just a generally protective person," Ijin pointed out.
"Maybe," 006 said. "But there's only one way to find out."
"...I need time to think about this," Ijin said. His voice was strained, like speaking the words took effort.
"Fair," 032 said. "But don't think for three weeks. Actual thinking happens in your brain, not in medical databases."
"I'll take it under advisement," Ijin said, which was about as close to a joke as they were going to get out of him right now.
The room settled into a more comfortable silence, though Ijin remained tense in his chair. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he stared at it like it might bite him.
"Going to check that?" 006 asked innocently.
"No," Ijin said immediately.
"It's him, isn't it?" 006 grinned.
"I don't know who it is."
"Your heart rate probably increased the moment you felt the vibration," 032 observed.
Ijin did not dignify that with a response. But his phone buzzed again, and he did pull it out, glancing at the screen before quickly turning it face down on his thigh.
005 smiled into her tea, and 002 looked almost amused. 006 was openly laughing now, the sound filling the apartment.
"This is going to be so entertaining," 006 said happily.
"I hate all of you," Ijin muttered, but there was no real heat to it.