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Kris doesn’t plan to end up in the local convenience at such a late time at night.
Yet, it just so happens that the concept of returning home to the stiflingly adoring atmosphere and the sickeningly sweet scent of pie and baked treats is a little too much for them right now.
They love their family. Truly, they do.
But, after travelling home from a city that’s miles away, having to deal with stranger after stranger, and being forced onto public transport’s mildly uncomfortable chairs, they’re not sure how prepared they are for it.
So, instead, they take a quick pitstop at the convenience store.
It’s late enough that they’re pretty sure they won’t need to worry about running into anyone they don’t know, and they’re visiting at a time of year where, surely, tourists aren’t going to be of any concern.
They burst open the door of Sans’ store, choosing not to acknowledge the man behind the counter as they scurry towards the rows of shelves spread out before them. There’s an extra row here than there was last year when they had visited – something they hadn’t expected to be possible with the limited space. But Sans’ endeavours were very rarely sensical, so it’s not like it was of much surprise.
They glance towards the row of chocolate bars, grasping at a selection of familiar flavours as they stuff them all into one arm. They know that it’s not the best place for them to be, seeing as their body heat is more than capable of melting them into mush, but they aren’t planning to be here for long. Just long enough to catch a breath of fresh air – to quell the anticipation before finding the courage to step back into their own home.
They nod to themselves, trying to build a sense of bravery, then step out of the aisle. Their pace is fast as they make their way towards the till, and it only builds with each passing moment.
Just as they’re about to get into line, though, they find their face crashed into the back of the person who had been in front of them – being too ignorant to notice that they had already begun to walk away.
They mutter a swear or two underneath their breath, backing away as they prepare an apology that sounds sincere – when, in actuality, they’d rather just be over and done with the interaction as quickly as possible.
The other person beats them to it, though. “Oh, shit, sorry about that, I didn't–” they mumble out, and then pause in their tracks upon taking in the sight of them. “-- See.. you.. there.”
There’s something vaguely familiar about their manner of speech, something that Kris knows in the back of their head, but can’t quite put their finger on. Somewhat fearfully, they crack open one eye, aiming their head upwards towards the other person.
They’d expected so many things.
That perhaps this person was an old classmate – someone who’d maybe poke or prod teasing quips at them, or who’d copy off of their tests and pages of homework. Maybe it was someone they’d just heard speaking a few times in passing.
But each and every one of their theories were shot down right in front of them, as they’re met with the sight of who they had once considered their closest friend.
It’s Susie.
And, surprisingly enough, she’s not changed all that much.
She's sporting a relatively low-end denim jacket, with a small-ish sized button pin of the lesbian flag fastened proudly onto the front. Her hair’s all tousled and messy, and her jeans are no-less battered and torn than they were when she was fifteen. But that's all part of the charm, isn't it?
She seems startled – a look that Kris wasn’t ever familiar enough with for them to be able to point out all the changes within it. But they could tell there was something wrong, just from the very essence of her expression.
She keeps opening and closing her mouth; raising and lowering her hand – almost like she’s got something to say, but can’t yet decide on how she wants to express it.
It’s been so long, after all, that Kris can’t even blame her. Had they not been face to face with her, they’d probably cower away and run as fast as possible in the other direction. It’s only natural that she’s hesitant to start up conversation.
Seemingly in search of a topic, she runs her eyes up and down Kris’ form once, and then twice. As her eyes reconnect with their face, though, she allows a small snicker to spew from her lips.
Just as Kris is about to question what she’s found so funny, she finds the courage to state her observation. To speak aloud.
“.. You got a haircut,” she points out. “You can, uh.. See your eyes, now.”
Okay, so maybe it’s not the exact topic that Kris had imagined she’d bring up.
But they don’t shy away from it.
Because, even after all this time had passed, the very essence of her nature is enough to bring a smile to their lips.
“.. Yeah,” they answer.
Suddenly, it's as though they're aware of every single little change and difference that they've made since high school. Their voice is so much more mumbly than when Susie had known them – their way of dressing is a little more unique. The way they present themselves, as themself, rather than as a vessel, is probably what makes it all just that bit more obvious.
She seems reasonably taken aback for a moment or two, until a low hum escapes her lips as she settles back into the familiar rhythm that the two once shared. She allows a grin to spread wide across her cheeks with her next remark, “And you're a little taller.”
Kris rolls their eyes as they correct her notably false statement. “I'm a lot taller, actually.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she scoffs, not taking even a minute to take Kris’ words into any form of consideration. “Still not as tall as me.”
“That's because you tower over everyone,” they joke, immediately slipping into friendly banter. Almost like there hadn’t been seven years since they’d last seen one another.
“No I don't, dude,” she returns.
And, all of a sudden, it's as though Kris is in their fifteen year old body again.
It's not a feeling they'd imagine themselves missing, at the time. Yet, with Susie’s grin glowing in front of them – no different from how it had been all those years ago – they find that their heart begins to hurt in their chest.
Maybe they don't miss being fifteen, but they certainly do miss the connection they had been blessed with back then.
..They miss Susie.
“So, uh..” There’s so many things they want to say – so many forgotten promises they’d want to discuss, so many changes in their life that they hadn’t yet grown used to.
But they find that their words are caught in the back of their throat, and they’re instead forced to mutter out something far more boring. “How’s life?”
Susie shrugs, and that all-too familiar grin is almost immediately wiped from her face. It's replaced with a slight grimace, the corners of her lips turning downwards as she begins her explanation.
“I've been balancing shitty retail jobs since you left,” she mutters, her voice low, as though it's something that brings her great embarrassment. “They're enough to keep me going, even if they suck ass.”
She pauses momentarily, and her cheeks begin to naturally pinken as she seeps further into her own humiliation. “Any leftover money’s gone towards a savings account, where, uh.. I've been saving up for college.”
Kris blinks. They're not surprised, per say. But they hadn't ever expected that Susie would express even an ounce of interest in higher education.
Though, the more they thought about it, the more it made sense. The thing holding her back throughout high school wasn't herself, after all – it had been the mess of an education system that she had been thrust into.
She notices their bewilderment, her cheeks immediately picking up a brighter shade of red as she scrambles to voice her own self-doubt. “Which, uh.. actually sounds really stupid to say out loud. You've probably already graduated by now, huh?”
Kris swiftly shakes their head in dismissal. “No it doesn’t,” they refute, the bite of their voice cutting through Susie’s self deprecative words. “I'm proud of you.”
Susie snaps straight, startled, in such a way that convinces Kris she’s not in full belief of their words – even despite the truth that they carry. “.. Oh,” she mutters, before quickly averting the topic away from herself. “Well, uh.. How about you – You doing anything cool?”
Kris quickly nods. “I teach piano lessons,” they explain.
It’s something they had started in college as a means of making ends meet. Yet, as they progressed in their teaching skills, it became something that they enjoyed more and more. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, really, seeing as they’ve always had a connection with the instrument.
“It can be a little difficult at times, y’know, considering..” They raise their left arm, where there’s notably no hand attached. “But it's fun.”
They don’t expect it to come as a shock to Susie. She was there when it had initially happened, after all – so the smile that she presents isn’t out of place. “Then that's what matters. You deserve that.”
The next moment or two is a little awkward.
There’s no sense of tension that grows in the air, but, since they’d run their list of base-level topics dry, they don’t really know what else to bring up.
In fact, it’s Susie, who speaks up next. Having never been all that good at conversation, Kris is a little taken aback.
“Well, uh.. On that note, I picked up piano a few years back.”
Their full attention is held within her hands, now.
If only she had mentioned this a little earlier, then maybe that short, awkward patch could have been avoided completely.
“I kinda thought it’d be a good distraction – y’know, like.. Something to fill my time, or whatever?” she continues, backing up her previous statement with reason.
Kris’ stare remains intent. They’re curious. “Was it?”
“It’s complicated.” She shrugs. “Every time my fingers hit the keys, I was filled with this sense of like – I don't know, it was a feeling that I had lost something really great.”
Kris tilts their head to one side, unfamiliar as to what she’s trying to get at.
They’ve felt a grand deal of things whilst playing the piano – it’s probably one of the biggest things out there to have drawn out emotional responses from them.
Yet, Susie’s chosen topic isn’t something they were familiar with.
“I didn't realise it until now, but, uh.. I guess I just missed you a lot, or something,” she explains. Then, as if to make matters worse, she’s not quite finished. “Just seeing black and white next to each other reminds me of you.”
Kris’ heartstrings tug in their chest.
They’d missed her, too. It’s something they’d struggle greatly to even try mentioning out loud – but, nonetheless, an emotion that’s been lingering inside their body for far too long.
“Sorry, dude, that's stupid.” Without any response to go off of, though, Susie immediately begins to dismiss her feelings. “It's been, what, seven years?”
“Yeah,” Kris agrees. “Seven years, and the first thing you noticed was that I had gotten a haircut.”
The smile that breaks out against Susie’s cheeks next is unbridled, filled with so much sheer emotion, that Kris feels their heartbeat pick up.
“What else was I supposed to say?” She groans. “That emo trim was one of your most defining features when you were fifteen.”
“Blame it on the otherworldly being – wasn’t me.”
They’re so glad they can make a joke out of something like that now. Therapy truly was so wonderful.
Susie’s grin widens, and she huffs out a somewhat held back chuckle. “Yeah, sure.”
As the laughter dies down, another moment of silence is brought across the two.
This time, though, there’s nothing awkward about it. They’re both smiling – grinning from ear to ear, even, and it’s been so long since Kris had felt comfortable like this.
Susie must feel similarly, as she’s once again the first to slice through the tranquility with her words. “I’ve missed this.”
“Missed what?”
“I don’t know,” she answers. An excuse that doesn’t really work, seeing as she then proceeds to elaborate further, without even needing to be prompted. “You – us. We really ought to catch up, huh?”
Kris nods in agreement. Before they even know it, they’ve already mustered up a question. It’s one that reflects their exact feelings from throughout the past ten minutes. “Are you free tomorrow?” Susie seems surprised, but doesn’t deny them. “I think so, yeah,”
“Then it’s settled.” Kris smiles. “Diner after church?”
Susie’s eyes are brought to life by a certain kind of fondness. One that Kris had only ever seen directed at them. Although, they’re pretty certain that she’s given that kind of look to other people in the time that’s passed since they last saw each other.
“Duh,” she states. “See you then?”
Kris nods. “See you then,” they confirm.
Susie beams yet another signature grin, before scurrying out of the exit whilst Kris loads their chocolate feast onto the countertop.
Had it not been for their rushedly-made plans tomorrow, maybe their separation would be bittersweet.
Yet, instead, Kris is left with a brewing kind of contentment within their heart.
Tomorrow can’t come sooner.