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Carlos blinked back the exhaustion that was beginning to drag down his eyelids. He was on the tail end of a double shift and feeling every second of it.
Patrol had been fine so far, a quiet night if he was being honest. Carlos kicked himself for cursing the last leg of his shift; he knew better than to jinx a shift like that. Too late now.
***
TK had already reached his limit with his shift from hell. Hard calls happened, but multiple in a day just tore him in half. They were supposed to have a 126 hang later that evening, but TK had half a mind to sleep through Catan, and the team would understand. Especially Nancy, she's had to live through this shift too.
He couldn't get the image of the woman from the last call out of his head. She overdosed, and by the time they had arrived with Narcan, it was too late. She wasn't that much younger than the paramedic, and he had an overwhelming sense of guilt looking at her.
That could have been him. Hell, that was him, more than once. And yet he got a second and third, and fourth chance, but his patient didn't. She was gone.
The alert sounded that they were being dispatched, and TK’s heart skipped a beat when he heard where they were going.
There had been a shootout in Northeast Austin near Windsor Park. The same Windsor Park that Carlos had been patrolling for a case for the past few weeks.
There was an officer down.
Out of habit, TK grabbed the star of David that hung around his neck, rubbing the corners to calm his anxiety. Carlos was okay. He had to be. There was no reason to even think he was in the area. Was he on shift tonight? Yes. Was he supposed to be in the area? Yes. But he could also be completely fine. He would be fine.
As they flew past traffic with their sirens whooping, TK couldn’t help but say an old Hebrew prayer, begging for it not to be Carlos.
Of course, it was Carlos.
A half dozen local PD cruisers had secured the area, the shooter was gone, and it was safe for EMS to enter the scene. TK didn’t care if the gunman was still around; there was nothing that was going to stop him from getting to Carlos.
The officer who was first on the scene was holding her jacket against Carlos’s chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding. TK had never seen Carlos so pale, as if his very essence was being drained from his body.
Tommy was calling out orders, and Nancy was already dressing the wound. TK was ashamed to say that he was frozen for longer than he should have been. He shouldn’t have been frozen at all. This was his job; he needed to act in an emergency, not shut down. Something about the way Carlos was lying on the ground bore an uncanny resemblance to the woman from earlier that day. The woman they weren’t able to save.
TK snapped out of his daze and dropped to his knees to help transport Carlos to a backboard and get him onto the rig. Tommy ordered Nancy to take the wheel as she and TK finished securing Carlos on the gurney. His Captain had her calm and collected face, but TK could tell she was rattled. It was always different when you knew the person whose blood was soaking into your shoes.
“Keep monitoring his vitals. It looks like the chest seal got shifted and isn’t going to hold. I’m going to redo it to secure the sucking wound.” As she spoke, Tommy methodically peeled off the failing seal to reapply a new one, cleaning the wound with a quick swipe of gauze before letting it fall to the floor and giving her time to work.
TK numbly stared at the machines recording Carlos’s borderline tachycardic pulse with clinical clarity; his breathing was becoming more rapid and shallow by the second. They were losing him.
“Cap?”
TK found Tommy’s fleeting gaze for just a moment before she turned back to the wound, a crease of worry cementing itself onto her forehead.
“I think we’re dealing with a collapsed lung. Nancy- what’s our ETA? Is the trauma team ready to receive him?” The medic captain asked without removing her attention from the needle and the tube she inserted into Carlos’s chest.
Nancy stole a glance at them through the rearview mirror as she sped towards help. “I radioed the hospital, they have a team ready to meet us when we get there in about four minutes.”
Carlos’s lips were turning blue, and TK wasn’t sure whether either of them was breathing. Shakily, he applied an oxygen mask to his boyfriend's face, whispering another prayer before sliding it on.
TK blinked, and they had arrived. The ER staff helped the gurney down and slid it through the hospital doors. He weakly started to follow before Tommy grabbed his shoulder.
“He’s going into surgery right away. I want you to get changed, and I’m dismissing you from your shift. Go be with him.”
TK nodded, the weight of the night finally settling onto his shoulders. He must have looked pathetic because Tommy pulled him in for a hug, and her mother’s embrace made him homesick for Gwyn.
He pulled away and wiped away a line of tears with the back of his forearm, his blue gloves still stained with blood. It was Carlos’s blood. And it was all over him, all over the rig…TK was going to be sick.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay, bud.” Nancy had found him scrubs to change into and walked with him towards the OR waiting room. None of it felt real. The hospital hallways, the lights, the noises, it was like one of his dreams where he’s stuck in place, no matter how hard he ran, unable to gain any ground.
The surgery didn’t take too long, which only exasperated TK’s fears. Did they already lose him? Was it too late? Why were they coming towards him? He wasn’t ready to hear that Carlos was gone.
The doctor gave him a smile and a nod. TK could have passed out into Nancy’s arms with relief as she explained that the surgery went well, the bullet didn’t do any fatal damage, they were able to reinflate the lung, and he would be okay.
TK felt as if it were his own lung that had been reinflated; he was suddenly able to inhale. Carlos was going to be okay. Fingering the Star of David around his neck, he shook the rest of the tears away from his eyes.
“Can I see him?” His voice cracked, and TK realized just how wrecked he had been.
The doctor nodded, “He’s stable and they are moving him to the ICU for observation overnight. He won’t be awake for a little while longer, but you can see him.
TK grabbed Nancy’s hand and pulled her along; he wasn’t sure he could stand up if she wasn’t there.
Carlos’s lips were no longer blue; they were their normal, perfectly kissable shade that TK adored. The two paramedics pulled the chairs closer to the bed, collapsing into them almost immediately. TK held Carlos’s hand until he began to stir.
“Hmm… TK?” he murmured, slowly blinking back to life.
TK ran his hand through Carlos’s curls. “Hey, baby.”
“You look like shit.” Carlos laughed.
TK rolled his eyes, still gently stroking his boyfriend's face. “It’s been one hell of a day. I think we need to message the gang to reschedule the 126 hang.”
Nancy scoffed. “Damn, TK, after our shitty shift, you go ahead and take away Catan?” She playfully pushed him in the arm. “I’m kidding. Obviously. I’ll let the others know and update Tommy.”
TK smiled, still refusing to let go of Carlos. “Thanks, Nance.”
As she exited the room, he leaned down and planted a kiss on Carlos’s forehead. The officer pulled him in closer, sighing into the crook of his neck.
“Thanks for saving me,”
“It was a group effort. Thanks for living for me.”
“Always.”