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Stark Pond, that damn place in South Park, which in the winter is a frozen skater's paradise and, in the summer, turns into a hot, fun-filled madhouse. We all know what that means: a sanctuary of debauchery and stupid laughter.
January 3:
Today I ventured out to Stark's Pond for what promised to be another day of intense fun. The sun shone with the same arrogance as Stan on his third drink of the day. Stan, the unofficial champion of alcohol consumption, always impressing us with his capacity for self-destruction.
Clyde showed me his new conquest, a girl who could win a beauty pageant without flinching. But, oh, the look in her eyes. She was definitely pulling my leg. Why did she even bother looking at me if she was going to spend the day passionately making out with Clyde? Of course, because the world doesn't have enough of that.
As I watched Stan, who was busy breaking records in the kissing category with Wendy, I realized their relationship seemed more toxic than a barrel of hazardous waste. But hey, that's puppy love, right?
Tolkien, the brainiac of the group, was also immersed in his own world with his girlfriend, who perfectly matched his intelligence. At least the two of them seemed to understand each other.
The rest of us, mere mortals without romance in our lives, watched the scene. The new faces at the pond added a touch of intrigue to the day. Who knows what drama awaits us this summer?
I returned home for lunch, leaving the love chaos behind. My mind was tormented with thoughts of that strange feeling called "young love." Will I fall victim to that madness too? Only time will tell.
January 11:
Today I ran into the most surprising guy I've ever had the misfortune to witness. It was his first time venturing out to the lake, and no one knew who the hell he was. He arrived before nightfall, just as the rest of us were already on our way out. He stood there, as mysterious as a shadow, with his notebook in hand. Was he drawing, writing, or just hunting idiots like me with his notebook?
I couldn't help it; I was completely captivated. What the hell could I do? Of course, I didn't dare follow him like a stalker. Who could this enigma on legs be? He moved so fast that I didn't even have time to break my intense gaze, which made me even more nervous than I already was.
I sat on the bench for a long time, racking my brains. What I didn't know was that my mysterious admirer was right behind me. I have no idea how I thought to turn around at that exact moment.
He seemed to notice my scrutinizing gaze, but neither of us had the guts to look at each other at the same time. If this kid disappears, I'm screwed. So, from now on, Stark Pond will be my second home. Morning and night, I have to be here.
January 15:
The mysterious boy keeps coming back, without fail, every day. No one else seems to have noticed, and I'm tormented by the fear of sharing my concerns with Clyde or Tolkien. Who knows, they might take it as a joke and unleash hell if they find out it's a boy... But you know what? I'm starting to feel like I don't care what my friends think anymore.
January 16:
Today, I decided to follow him. To my surprise, he didn't notice me following him. How the hell could I have missed him before? It turns out he lives near my house, and that only raises more questions. Is he new around here? Adrenaline and fear intermingled as I spied on him, trying to decipher his secrets. I feel a strange curiosity about this guy. Now that I know where he lives, I can't help but think I need to get to know him better. Tomorrow... the adventure continues.
January 20:
Oh, it turns out the mysterious boy goes by the name Tweek! But here comes good old Kenny into the story, a guy everyone points the finger at for things like being a thief, being a "faggot," and accusing him of being a hypocrite. I don't know whether to trust those rumors or my own instincts, because Kenny has done something for me that no one else would.
Kenny was kind enough to introduce me to him, albeit in a way that made me want to rip his head off. He charged me a measly dollar for the favor, when I would have forked over a thousand without a second thought to meet Tweek. But that wasn't enough—oh no, he had to tell Tweek that he paid him a dollar to introduce me. That mocking laugh from Kenny was the final touch. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or just punch him.
Looks like Tweek figured out I had feelings for him. Damn, he's found out. I appreciate him, and at the same time, I'd like to kill him for it. My friends say they'll help me in the end, but honestly, I don't know what to think. Life is sometimes like a comedy of bad taste that never seems to have a clear ending.
January 30:
Adore him? Oh, right, as if that were so simple. Every day, by the pond, like it's the date of the century. Not even Stan and Clyde, at their drunkest, can beat us in consistency. But of course, we can't enjoy a moment of peace, because those brats are hanging around. They stare at us and laugh, as if we were part of a circus.
Tweek is afraid his parents will find out. And who can blame him? Life isn't a walk in the park, especially for kids like us.
Oh, but introducing him to friends was quite a spectacle. Clyde, Tolkien, and Jimmy all think he's cute, but it makes my stomach turn when they laugh at his damn nervous tics. Sure, it's all in jest, but I don't find it funny.
Stan's girlfriend, Wendy, has offered herself as a relationship expert. Seriously? Should I pay tribute to the only person who has a clue how this madness works? Sometimes I feel more lost than a penguin in the desert.
My friends say I should play it cool, as if it were so easy. Disguising my confusion? It's like trying to hide an elephant in a closet. Besides, Tweek already noticed, and I don't think anyone else needed glasses to see it.
Tomorrow, I plan to take the plunge and walk him home. Maybe life has some surprises in store for us, though, honestly, I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. But who needs sarcasm and pessimism when Tweek is at stake?
January 31st:
Today I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and walk him home. Guess what? No one else has any idea how much I care.
We left the pond, where we'd spent the entire day on our bench, and decided to venture out for a walk together. It was the first time I'd walked him home, and believe me, Tweek was more nervous than a zebra facing a pride of lions. He was afraid his parents would see us, and so was I. There was no guarantee he'd be allowed to socialize with other creatures of the human species. But who cared, because at that moment I couldn't help but feel blissful walking beside him.
Looking at his unbuttoned green shirt and shoes with rebel laces, I thought he was the most exotic thing I'd ever seen. I stared at his pert nose and his spotless, clean hands. His messy blond hair, which looked like a work of art in itself, defied all the laws of gravity.
And when he laughed, wrinkling that cute nose, it seemed as if everything in the world came alive. I said to myself, quietly but with conviction, "He's so cute." But I won't tell anyone else, lest the Earth stop turning.
We reached a corner, and Tweek indicated that it would be best to say goodbye there. What he didn't know was that I already knew his house, because I followed him once, like a spy in a cheap movie. At my confession, Tweek cracked a smile. The promise to meet again at the lake the next day sealed the deal. The madness continued, and I was ready for every chapter life had in store.
February 7:
Monotony is my best friend. Every day, I find myself dragged toward his front door like some kind of sticky shadow. His mom, the expert at pretending she doesn't see anything, plays dumb and doesn't bother. I guess that makes her seem like a decent person. But Tweek, the object of my obsession, has no idea how deeply he has me trapped. Expressing what you feel is a difficult task, even for a master of irony like myself.
Today, as we were walking back from the pond, Tweek dropped a bombshell: his father threatened to send him to boarding school because his grades were mediocre. I could see in his eyes that this worried him. At that moment, I wanted to hug him, volunteer to talk to his father, and promise him that if he was sent to boarding school, I would visit him every day, even if I had to climb out the window (although that would be quite a challenge). But, as always, I only managed to mumble something cliché about "don't worry, all parents say the same thing."
It's amazing how the world can make you feel so much and express so little. I love her in a way that makes my nerves secretly laugh at me.
February 10:
I could die, I swear. Yesterday, Tweek, or rather, "Bag of Nerves" (a shitty nickname, courtesy of my supposedly good friends), decided to make his grand disappearance from the pond. The reason? A classmate of his piano lessons invited him to God-knows-where. As much as I'd like to deny it, I missed him more than I'd like to admit. Clyde and Jimmy, my resident comedians, didn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of me. What a surprise!
Today, I finally saw him approaching me, and I have to confess it was like seeing a bundle of nerves walking. Tweek, Lord of Nerves, has the special gift of keeping me on the edge of madness just by looking at those restless eyes of his. And, as if that weren't enough, my friends gave him the aforementioned perfect nickname: "Bag of Nerves," which they affectionately use to greet him. I don't know how to react to this, but one thing's for sure: I'm considering drowning them all in the pond... hmm.
But wait, here's the hilarious part. Tweek confessed something to me that has really gotten on my nerves. It turns out that yesterday, while at his friend's house, he ran into the most repulsive person at my school: Cartman. That guy thinks he's the ultimate bully, and every time he opens his mouth, all I can think about is hitting him. The problem is, if I do, it'll probably bounce off his body like a beach ball. Can you imagine how frustrating that is?
I feel like I'm on the verge of insanity, literally locked in my room. I need to find a way to keep Tweek from going back to that Heidi girl's house, and frankly, I have no idea how to do that. I think I need to talk to that friend and sort this whole mess out. But I can't write anymore; this isn't worthy of a man, but I might as well die...
February 15:
And now it's my turn to invite Tweek to the movies. My friends are orchestrating a master plan. The strategy is simple: at the theater, I should casually put my arm around him a while after the movie starts. If Tweek doesn't protest, then I should dare to pat him on the shoulder. As icing on the cake, in the back row will be Clyde and Bebe, and Tolkien with Nichole, all ready to give me the courage I need. Jimmy and Kenny, the heroes of the night, will sit on either side of us. Then, halfway through the movie, they'll switch seats under the pretext of not being able to see well, which will give me room to act without the neighbors giving me strange looks.
It's so easy! It's not like Tweek can figure out our master plans. Of course not! He might get upset, or worse, perhaps a good punch, considering he's a boxer, and I have no desire to test his skills in that arena. How long will this comedy last? I could just pick up my phone and call him right now to tell him how much I care. But no, instead, I embark on this absurd plan.
And to make things even more exciting, after the movie, we'll go to the park, where I'm tasked with confessing my feelings. What a way to complicate life! If it all ended at the movie theater, it would be a relief. But no, we have to prolong this emotional odyssey until tonight, when I'll have to pour my heart out and say all the right words... I hope I don't turn into the biggest romantic disaster in history!
February 16:
I'm so happy I could dance a dance of joy! I'm nervous, sure, but not as much as if I were meeting a Hollywood celebrity (although Tweek is my personal star, if I may call him that). Tweek has accepted my invitation to go to the movies! I'm practically jumping up and down with excitement. His parents offered to drive him, and my job is to wait for him at the door at 3:30 p.m. My friends have already planned to get into the theater before us to make sure we get the best seats. Tweek has mentioned that after the movie, he'll help his parents at the cafeteria (what he doesn't know is that I'll definitely be taking him to the park).
The first part has gone according to plan, and although the nerves are still there, I can't help but feel happy. This is a big step in the right direction!
February 17:
Wow, I'm the happiest man on the planet! Tweek. Yes, Tweek! I can't even describe it. I have insomnia, but who cares?
The long-awaited moment arrived punctually at 3:30. Tweek got out of that car with parents everyone envies, right in front of the movie theater. Wow, he looked stunning! That light blue sweater looked amazing on him, and with those high heels, he looked even better. I'm so nervous!
"Tweek." I greeted him with a smile that denoted more nerves than anything else.
"Hey, Craig. Where are your friends?"
"Inside the theater. They reserved our seats. Besides, I already have the tickets."
"That's great!"
I led Tweek toward our friends, feeling the pressure of what he was about to do. But Tweek, so restless and smiling, seemed oblivious to my plots. We sat down.
"Don't go," I said to Kenny, on my left, and Jimmy, who was at his side.
"Jimmy, stay too."
"Don't worry so much, Craig," Jimmy whispered, low enough so Tweek couldn't hear.
The lights went down, and the movie began. It was the moment of truth. I felt bumps in my seat; I knew it was Clyde. Meanwhile, Tweek stared at the screen calmly, as if he were in another world. They were showing a cartoon, and there was still the newsreel and the intermission. I had no idea what the movie was called. I was paralyzed.
During the intermission, Tweek turned to talk to Bebe and Nichole, who were in the row behind me. I was chatting with Clyde and Tolkien. I felt like everyone was conspiring against Tweek, and my anxiety was growing. Bebe winked at me, as if to say everything was okay. Tweek, on the other hand, seemed to ignore the situation.
The lights went out for the second time, and I clutched the arms of my seat. I couldn't turn around to look at Tweek. My neck felt stiff, and I couldn't tear my gaze away from the screen. The movie was a chaos of war, but it seemed miles away. I couldn't focus on the plot, despite the roaring onscreen.
I knew Kenny and Jimmy would leave soon, which filled me with terror. Tweek would notice. He'd be mad. Everything would go to hell. The movie showed a kiss in a darkened room, and Kenny and Jimmy wanted to switch seats. "Tweek's going to notice. He's going to get mad," I thought. And finally, emboldened, I turned to look at him.
In the dimness, Tweek was the most beautiful boy in the world. "Don't kick, damn it," I thought. But my friends didn't stop. They continued pounding on my seat until my arm slowly rose, shaking. I couldn't control it. Then my arm fell on something soft and warm: "Bebe's leg," I thought, terrified. But someone lifted my arm and placed it on Tweek's shoulder, who was still smiling, focused on the movie. He didn't seem to have noticed anything...
My friends insisted I go to the park with Tweek, but I couldn't refuse and agreed. The park is across from the movie theater anyway.
And so, amidst all the chaos and confusion, we found ourselves in the park, that trendy place. Everyone came on Saturdays and Sundays looking for love, whether new, old, or ongoing. The authorities decided to beautify the park, but the problem was that we were all still looking for the same love elsewhere.
Craig didn't quite understand why they had to go to the park, but it was the trendy place, and he had no choice. He and Tweek wandered aimlessly around the park, feeling like just another in the crowd looking for love at all costs. I couldn't talk to him, and I needed to do it before the "passion" faded. "I'll wait a few more minutes," I thought, "and then I'll find a way to get him to the cafeteria." It was a safe strategy, since his parents would be waiting for him there. Besides, my friends had agreed to give me space tonight, since I had promised to propose to them.
We finally walked to the cafeteria, where Tweek agreed to help his parents see that the workers had everything in order. We still had a couple of hours before his parents arrived. This was my chance, and I knew I couldn't let it slip away. However, anxiety was eating away at me inside. I didn't know how to begin proposing, but I knew I had to.
Finally, we left the cafeteria and found a quiet spot in a garden, on the sidewalk of a house that stood with its own unique style. A low wall separated the outside garden from the sidewalk. Between two pillars, a small wooden gate gave access to the garden. We sat on the wall in silence, while I searched for the right words to express what I felt. Tweek seemed to be waiting for my confession, and the moment was charged with emotion.
Then a strange thought came to me. "Tweek, will you allow me to do something crazy?" I asked him. He nodded. His willingness to go along with my crazy ideas made me love him even more.
Tweek climbed onto the wall with a grace that made me think it was a truth.
March 2:
We meet every day, morning and evening, at our sacred meeting place: the Pond. We have our reserved bench, and now we have the privilege of spending long moments with Bebe, Clyde, Tolkien, and Nichole. Today, for the first time, I dared to hold her hand. I felt like one of my oldest dreams had come true.
However, after that romantic gesture, I felt an overwhelming emptiness. It was like waking up from a dream and realizing that reality isn't always as beautiful as we imagine. Sometimes, I think it would be better to keep dreaming. Although, of course, I still have to take the step of kissing him. According to Kenny, the love expert, I should do it subtly while we're sitting on our bench. Afterward, I'll have to take her for a walk in the woods, among the trees. How long will I continue to feel this anguish of not being able to express what I feel naturally? I adore her. We have our bench. We have our movie theater, but nothing compares to the thrill of walking down the street and finding ourselves right next to the cafe wall...
March 7:
Today we had to confess our sins. I had no idea what to say to the priest. Stan and Wendy assure us that kissing isn't a sin, but Tweek was getting more and more distressed. I wanted to kiss him again just to see if it really was a sin, but I didn't dare. Luckily, he confessed first. I followed his example, and I think the priest realized we were a couple. Before I could say anything, he asked me if I kissed my "boyfriend." At the end of Mass, he saw us leaving together, and I saw him smiling.
Tweek suggested the idea of attending Mass together every Sunday. It seems like a pretty mediocre idea, but hey, I guess it can't hurt. We'll go to the eleven o'clock Mass, so I'll have an excuse to see him on Sunday mornings, too. Besides, he looked incredibly handsome in church, with his white silk scarf covering his head and his upturned nose standing out. He looked so adorable when he prayed, and I admit I like glancing at him.
He has a huge, very old black missal. He told me his nun aunt gave it to him when he made his First Communion, even though he practices another religion with his parents. It's full of prayer cards, and there's even a picture of me among them. Tweek is really sweet...
March 14:
I don't like having to put this out there, but I feel I have no choice. Hiding the truth is almost like lying, although I'm sure I'll never let anyone read this. I just know that I hate Cartman more than ever. I hate him. If Tweek knew him as well as I do, he'd hate him too.
I was waiting for her at the entrance to the movie theater—our movie theater. Everything was going well until that idiot Cartman showed up. He asked if I was waiting for Tweek. I replied that I was. He laughed as if he were making fun of me and then made his nasty comment, asking me if I'd ever imagined Tweek as a girl, implying that being with a boy must be completely strange. Then he walked off, laughing like a clown. I don't know how to express what I felt at that moment. That disgusting idiot's words refuted everything I tried to imagine. I only know that when Tweek arrived, I had a hard time looking at him. I tell him I adore him, and I almost shudder. But I'll love him all my life.
I love him because he's a fifteen-year-old boy, and so am I. When I talk about Tweek, I always mention his upturned nose, his blue eyes, his freckles that give him a charming touch, and his poorly tied shoes. I talk about his shirts, his quirks, and his jokes. I hold his hand, I kiss him, but all of that is a difficult lesson for me to learn. A lesson I must review from time to time so I don't forget. I don't pay attention when my friends say Tweek has nice arms, is thin, and so on. My love is my love. I've molded him in my own way, and I want to keep him that way. Tweek is more than a bundle of nerves, more angel than man. When I hold his hand, it's to caress it. I talk to him to hear his voice in return. When I hug him, it's to protect him, though I almost never do that during the day. I don't know any other way to love. Is there any other way?
It's not my fault... Tweek is my love.
March 18:
Tweek got grounded today, but he's very clever and managed to come up with some excuse to run away to a friend's house. I recognized him there, and we ran away. We're rebels, but the shock is over, and I think it was a wonderful day. We arrived at lunchtime. We ate pizza and ice cream. I had a soda, and he had a frappe. At the restaurant, popular songs were playing on the radio. Tweek says that when school starts, we'll be invited to a lot of parties, and we should choose our song.
As we left, the street was full of truck drivers. I was embarrassed when they swore, but Tweek laughed and wasn't afraid of them. Even they laughed with us. We ran out of money just in time, but we managed to save enough for the return trip. Afterward, we walked to the woods. It's a beautiful place, and the sun makes everything seem wonderful. We walked around for a while and then decided to go down to the pond. We found a secluded spot and headed to the lake. We were so secluded it seemed like no one else was around. We took off our shoes and socks and rolled up our pants before entering the lake, where we had an epic water fight. We came out soaked, but we sat by the riverbank and our clothes began to dry. We caught some tadpoles, but we felt sorry for them and returned them to the river before they died. It must have been at that moment that I started kissing him. He was lying on his back in the grass, and I could feel his breathing on my chest. Tweek was blushing bright red. It was unbearably hot. We kissed until the sun began to set. We kissed until we were scared stiff. We stayed for a long time. Tweek was the first to speak. He told me our clothes had already dried.
It was nighttime when we returned. No one ever knows how much we wished that moment could last forever. We laughed so hard when he found a piece of dry grass in his hair. I love him so much. We'll be back home as soon as possible.
March 25:
I hate those aunts who come to my house from time to time and tell me I've grown a lot. But this time, it seems they're right. Tweek and I have grown. Today we had to go to the tailor to have the hem of our school uniforms hemmed. I adored him as I tried on the uniform and imagined how cute he'd look in his. I bought him a badge from our school and I'm going to give it to him so he can always carry it in his suitcase. I'm sure he was thinking of me too while he was trying on his uniform...