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After All This Time DVD Extras - Breaking the Fourth Wall Part I

Summary:

Darth Stitch's Bilbo Baggins Muse was supposed to answer a simple question from her readers. But then, Fili and Kili took over.

A DVD Extra to After All This Time - Silly First Love Tales

Notes:

Amazingly, the Reader Reactions and my Little Muse Omakes or "DVD Extras" helped this series grow and fed a lot of my Plot Bunnies. I hope you all enjoy them as much as the folks on Tumblr did! :)

Work Text:

Good gracious me. 

I am a gentlehobbit!  Just because I happen to be careful about my person and my things, which happen to be very valuable, as most of these belong to my mother and there are heirlooms from my father as well…. well, I never heard such ridiculous balderdash.  I understand that to be called “effeminate” while being a male seems to be an insult though I’ve never seen the point of getting huffy over it. Seems to be a ridiculous waste of one’s time to me. 

My mother was a wonderful hobbit lady and I have a number of Aunts and Cousins who’d clout a fellow for implying that being female indicates weakness and rightly so.   

And as for your other question, well, good gracious, again, that is a gentlehobbit’s private business, thank you and I’ll also thank any nosy folk (that means you, Fili and Kili!) to keep their big dwarven noses out of it!

- Bilbo Baggins

 

... And then, Fili and Kili decided to poke their Dwarrow Noses In and Doom Ensued:

 

Fili and Kili Take Over The Blanket Fort

 


Kili: You know, there's a lot of things Bilbo ends up saying once you get him good and properly soused...


Fili: Now, little brother, you know we're not supposed to talk about what happened at the Toothless Dragon...


Kili: I mean, honestly, I knew Uncle Thorin was strong but I didn't realize he could actually crush that tin mug like it was paper...


Fili: When Bilbo started talking about Whatsisname with the Proudfeet and that interesting happening behind the oak tree... I think we were a little too young for that story...


Kili: All I'm saying is that I wouldn't want to be Whatsisname Proudfeet and meet Uncle Thorin on a dark night...


Fili: And then there was that odd dwarf smith that Bilbo said he couldn't forget about.... the one without the beard?


Kili: Oh Mahal, THAT one. I think Thorin started choking on his ale at that point, didn't know Uncle could turn that shade of red too...


Me: WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WHAT DWARF SMITH WITH NO BEARD?!!!!


Fili: Apparently, Uncle Bilbo's first... er.... "friend."


Kili: You know what we mean!


Fili: I mean, Bilbo was pretty taken with him. I suppose you really can't forget your first love.


Me: *starts flailing*


Kili: Funny. Uncle Thorin had a sort of similar reaction too.

 

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