Chapter Text
Tim Drake was very used to playing fast and loose with his own life. Probably not a good thing, actually. But it did let him keep a straight face in some wild situations.
"...Thing is, I'm not really asking for permission, Bruce." Like here. Tim was telling Bruce--Bruce Wayne, Bruce “Batman” Wayne--that he'd gone over his head and gotten the other core JL members' signatures before coming to him for his own, ensuring that it was just a courtesy, making it abundantly clear that Tim had no interest in Bruce having control over the endeavor at all.
It was a little scary, but again, straight face.
Bruce didn't take it as poorly as Tim had been prepared for. He just huffed and looked over the charter. Then he looked back up into Tim's eyes with naked, genuine concern, and that was what gave him pause.
"...Are you sure, son?"
Tim frowned. "Yes? Of course?"
"You phrased those as questions."
"Because I'm confused as to your reaction."
Bruce sighed. "The Justice League International was...not one of the periods of my career I'm particularly proud of."
"Do you...have periods you're proud of?"
"The early years with Dick, us right before Bane, supporting Cass, the ten minutes after we brought Damian back from Apokolips before reality hit again." Bruce shrugged. "...There are others, probably. Something to do with Clark and Diana. But the JLI is not on that list."
Tim sighed. “Well…I’m not planning on knocking back any insane-o pills, so I think it’ll be fine.”
Bruce squinted. “...Right. So why are you even here telling me this, since you’re clearly not interested in my opinion on the matter?”
“I didn’t say that–-”
“You want to show me who you plan to recruit.”
“...Maybe.”
Bruce rubbed his eyes and swiveled his chair to face the Batcomputer again. “Put them up on the screen.”
Tim did, and waited for Bruce’s reaction. It was two minutes before Bruce moved or made a sound. Then the old man just sighed. Loudly.
“This is a horrible idea.”
Tim nervously shook the ice in his empty soda cup. “...Just think about it, Mary?”
Mary Bromfield bit her lip and looked away. “I am! I promise I am…just…I mean do we really need that to happen again?”
Tim nodded. “I think so? Like it’s nice that the League has been together and functional again the last few years, but there’s a lot of other stuff going on, even just politically, and the opinion that the JL is a little too America-centric is rising, so I figured this could be something nice. Plus everyone I’m inviting knows what they’re doing, there aren’t any rookies. Yeah there might be some growing pains, but everyone is a professional, I think we can work anything out if we have to.”
Mary sighed and looked back over at him. “Okay…maybe. Who else are you even trying to recruit?”
Tim pulled out his phone and he showed her the list.
Mary squeaked in alarm before she finished scanning through it.
“Tim…Tim you can’t be serious--”
“Okay but hear me out--”
“Oh, I'm going to hear you out, but I think it's insane that you want to put Yara and Kenan anywhere near each other.”
Tim frowned. “Okay see... I'm a little lost on why that would be so bad. Bruce was more focused on Sideways being a problem--”
“I dunno too much about him, he's really new I think?”
Tim nodded. “Yeah Bruce was worried about the instability of his powers...and his personality...pretty sure he's killed before--”
“See, I was ready to call Bruce paranoid, but you're really not selling this, my dude.”
Tim waved her off. “We'll circle back to that. What's wrong with Kenan and Yara?”
“Well...” Mary tugged on her sleeve idly. “There's nothing wrong with either of them, they're both great people, great at what they do, totally worthy of their symbols and all that...”
“...But?”
“Have you met both of them?”
Tim gave her the ‘so-so’ hand gesture. “Kon introduced me to Kenan, he's chill, maybe a little impatient, still, but like you said, nice dude. Haven't gotten to meet Yara yet, but Diana doesn't embrace assholes, so I figure--”
“They're going to kill each other. They're both prideful and intense and the odd ducks in their respective groups. And neither would admit it, but they still feel like they have to prove themselves. Are you sure you can manage that?”
Tim chuckled and leaned back in his seat. “They can't be any worse than Young Justice back when we got started, and I handled that fine.”
Mary squinted at him. “... Didn't they fire you and elect Cassie as leader instead?”
Tim shot back up straight again. “HEY! No, no I took a temporary leave of absence, and then we properly voted on leadership when I got back.”
“...Uh-huh...”
“I can handle a little bickering is my point. These groups are never perfect, but that's part of why they can work, you know?”
Mary took a little longer than normal to sip her chai and then swished it around her mouth to buy even more time.
“... Alright, I just have two questions.”
“Shoot.”
“Why me? And why come to me first? I'd be the youngest person there by at least 3 years, you don't know me as well as you know Billy or Freddy, I mean I could even see you asking Amon if you really wanted to hit that global angle and needed someone with the lightning. So...what gives?”
Tim's eyes softened some and he lowered his voice. “Mary you've been doing this for almost as long as I have, which is...honestly kind of insane, but you know how it is sometimes. You're good at it. You’re well liked and respected by the public and other heroes, you've got strong morals and divine wisdom--there's no reason not to choose you. I don't see you as some second-string Marvel, and I think you'd be a great unifying factor. And...full disclosure, I'm not always the greatest at...” He gestured vaguely, “Empathy--”
“Yikes.”
“Let me finish! I'm trying to do the work and lean into my hard edges!”
Mary momentarily lamented the fact that therapy might have actually been a mistake for Tim, then gave up. “Sure, go on.”
Tim huffed. “I'm not good at empathy all the time, but you're great at it, and I think you'd be able to help me from crashing the boat, so-to-speak. And we're super not into each other, so I can avoid another common conflict of interests--”
“Is it common, Tim? Is it really.”
Tim groaned and let his forehead hit the table. “Pleaaaaaase think about it? For me?”
“...I mean...ugh.” Mary brushed some hair out of her face. “Like, on the one hand, it’s super nice of Tim to offer, and It’s…It’s not like I don’t know most of the other people he wants to invite, but also…I feel like the JLI is cursed? Historically?”
Billy spent a good solid fifteen seconds trying to figure out a polite, positive thing to say about his time on the original Justice League International. In the end, he only managed a shrug and a meager; “...Eh? I mean it was a different lineup. And Bruce was also like…drowning in grief, Guy was there, Ted honestly loved the drama–”
“Yeah, yeah sure, and this team may be free of old men who under any other circumstances would be dangerous alcoholics, and I appreciate that.” Mary tucked the least cooperative lock of hair behind her ear. “But…I think I’m going to get stuck being the team parent.”
Billy winced. “Oh no.”
“Yep!”
“Oh, that’s…I mean…but Jaime’s going to be there?”
“Yeah, but do you really think Jaime can get Yara to back off? For any reason? Ever?”
Billy rubbed his chin. “...Well maybe Tim can–-”
“Create an international incident by being snarky in an American way that will not translate well? Because he really wants this team to be a global thing and I’m going to be honest, I’m not totally confident that the others can or will look out for that.”
“Okay so you’ve already locked yourself into this.”
“...Apparently.”
“Then you need to elect a co-parent.”
“Oh god.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh no you’re right.”
“Mmmhm.”
Mary cradled her face in her hands.
“I’m so screwed.”
Bernard looked up from the pot he'd been watching boil, and glanced over his shoulder at Tim.
“Really? She said yes?”
Tim nodded from the stool he was perched on near the center island of their kitchen.
“Yeah, I'm stoked. I think starting with the most stable prospective member was a good idea.”
Hard to argue with that, so Bernard didn't. “Well, happy for you and such. However, you can keep talking about your plans for world domination after you taste this sauce, because you're so goddamn picky--”
“I am not--”
Bernard turned back to the pot. “And this is the last point where I can still hard pivot the flavor profile if I have to. C'mon, your tight little ass should be moving towards the stove.” He smirked to himself when he heard Tim's exaggerated sigh and embarrassed muttering.
Tim grabbed the wooden spoon from his hand a little harder than strictly necessary, and brought it to his lips.
“Mmm. Oh, that's good. Yeah that's--maybe a little spicy.”
“I just used black pepper.”
“Well I have a really sensitive palette, okay. This baby,” he smacked his lips, “this baby can tell the difference between cocaine and meth.”
Bernard squinted.
“...You're not supposed to ingest either of those.”
Tim rested his chin on Bernard's shoulder, and wrapped his arms around his center.
“Well you know me, I'm a rule breaker.”
“You have a D.A.R.E shirt in your closet.”
“It's ironic!”
Bernard knocked their temples together gently before standing up straighter. “Alright, I'll try to make this into something that won't kill a Victorian orphan--I'm comparing you to a Victorian orphan--”
“I got that, yeah--”
“And you can go back to the thing about Lady Captain Marvel.”
“That's not what she's called--”
“But it feels kinda personal calling her by her real name. Anyway, you were saying?”
Tim slinked back to the stool and stretched his back a bit before continuing.
“So, she was like...”
Mary made sure her cape was billowing dramatically as she made her final point.
“...And I'm serious, Tim, I need you to listen to me.”
Tim nodded emphatically. “Yes! Of course, part of the point is that I value your judgement--” He flinched at the distant sound of thunder crashing somewhere above the Hall of Justice.
Mary casually sat back down and flattened her skirt out, as if nothing had happened. “Good. Then I'll talk to Jaime.”
Tim raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I was going to do that--”
“I figure we could split the rest. I'll talk to Jaime and Yara, and Kenan, and you talk to Eddie, Miguel and Sideways. Do we know his name? Your list just said ‘Sideways.’”
“I know it, but I figure it'd be better to let him decide to share, you know?”
“Because you're not completely sure he wouldn't kill you over it?”
Tim shrugged. “...Partially.”
Mary snorted. “Fair enough. But yeah, the wisdom of Athena says this’ll be the best chance for success.”
Tim clapped his hands together. “Welp! That's good enough for me!”
“Mmmhm. We have a secret clubhouse?”
“Well, considering the OG league is using the Watchtower again, the Hall of Justice has been pretty underbooked. So--”
“Can't be here. America, I mean. It undercuts the international angle if it looks like we're still operating under American hegemony. ”
Tim frowned. “Well, I can see that, but anywhere we put up shop could have that problem.”
Mary’s hair bounced as she shook her head. “Superman isn't beholden to the president. But he's here, you know? Kenan was created partially as a response to Clark as an American power. We need somewhere actually neutral. I'd offer the Rock of Eternity if I could...but I can’t. Actually that was a lie--even if I could, I wouldn't want half of these people near any sort of high magic. But you've got to have some weird off-the-books batbase somewhere unaffiliated.”
Tim thought about it for a moment.
“...Okay, hear me out...”
Bernard slowly turned around to make sure Tim could see his horrified expression.
“You're going to use a League of Assassins base?”
“Yeah! Ra’s left those things everywhere. He's super dead now (probably), and Talia is doing other stuff. Plus she’s not in a great spot to argue, given that she nearly got Damian killed again the other day--”
“Oh my god! Is he okay?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, he's fine, he's got a pink power ranger as a bodyguard now. But my point is--”
“He has a what?”
Tim sighed. “He's dating a lantern now. Nice enough kid. He's clearly insane, but in a cute way. Like a Pomeranian with a gun tucked in his waistband."
Bernard bobbed his head back and forth appreciatively. “Not bad. Didn't know Damian swung that way.”
“Damian does whatever he wants without consequence, that's his whole deal--the point I'm making is that the island is empty and uncharted, so it'll be fine!”
“Okay, okay! Excuuuse me for questioning you moving into a haunted evil lair.”
“Haunted?”
“Yeah, isn't that Ra’s guy spooky and magic and stuff?”
“Eh, spooky? Yes. Magic? Debatable. You worry too much.”
Bernard wasn't convinced, and pouted a little, but dropped it after a moment.
“If you say so. Well, if you don’t get taken by The Curse, don’t forget we’re supposed to have dinner with my parents next weekend.”
Tim winced. “I still can’t believe you said yes to that.”
Bernard shrugged. “Well they haven’t tried to murder me yet, and meeting your family taught me that you can grin and bear anything if you’re desperate enough.”
Tim scoffed. “Did you just call everyone I know--yeah, okay, fair enough. But you know, desperation has led to some pretty important advancements in human history.”
Bernard started stirring the pot again. “I hope you’re not doing all of this ‘cause you’re desperate not to be left behind.”
Tim choked on the water he’d just started sipping. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Cassie is off fighting monsters and training a sidekick, Conner and Bart are working with that Mr. Terrific guy--who I’m fairly certain controls the weather, you know--”
“And I’m doing totally fine where I’m at! Gotham needs me, Bruce needs--I don’t have to feel out of place to want to do more.”
Bernard sighed.
“Okay, okay. Just don’t do anything crazy out there. Especially not next week. Because I am not going to survive that dinner by myself--”
He flinched a little when he felt Tim’s hands on his shoulders again--he hadn’t heard him get up.
“Dude, I got this. Besides, when have I ever been crazy?”