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It had been two weeks since - everything. They have been to four funerals and they were sat in Ginny’s room, still in their dress robes from the fourth – Colin Creevey's.
“Can you do something to distract me? I can’t get Dennis’ crying out of my head and I need to think about something that isn’t coffins for five minutes.” Ginny asked Hermione as she pulled her hair out of the respectable bun Mrs Weasley had pulled it into that morning.
Hermione pushed herself up to sit on Ginny’s window ledge, half gazing at the orchard outside. “What kind of distraction?”
“A good kind. Don’t recite a chapter of Hogwarts: A History to me. Something inane but, I don’t know, Hermione,” she sighed, lying on her bed “just distract me.”
There was actually something on Hermione’s mind that she’d been hoping to confess to Ginny. A stupid, silly, and yes, inane thing that she felt she had no right to talk about really, amongst all the funerals and, well, Fred but here was Ginny literally asking for a distraction so Hermione took a breath and blurted it out;
“Ron and I still haven’t had - sex.”
Ginny did not react. Hermione felt herself going red. This wasn’t the time for this kind of trivial nonsense, Ginny’s brother was dead she didn’t want to hear about the status of Hermione’s virginity –
But then there were hoots of laughter which went on for, in Hermione’s opinion, an inordinate amount of time. Ginny was screeching like a harpy and rolling around her bed. Her loose hair falling in her face and her eyes streaming with tears.
“Ginny!” Hermione half admonished, half pleaded.
Once Ginny has calmed herself, she managed to splutter out; “you’re telling me that you spent the best part of ten months travelling around in a tent, unsupervised, and under threat of imminent death and you still didn’t shag my scrawny twat of a brother once?” Hermione’s cheeks flushed an even darker red. She should have expected this really. Ginny was always great with advice but, as with all the Weasleys, you had to get through the seven levels of mockery first.
She cleared her throat; “We had other – priorities, Ginny.” The red head still looked utterly scandalised.
“Sitting around playing twenty questions about Voldermort’s favourite family heirlooms? I think I would have found time for a bit of rough and tumble, personally.” Ginny said reclining on her bed with a look of assumed superiority. Hermione was feeling quite teased enough.
“I rather think that’s one of the reasons we left you behind” she snapped.
Ginny’s face darkened immediately. Hermione found herself realising what an accomplished Bat Bogey Hexer her friend was. And how hurt she looked.
“Oh right, and what were the others?” she demanded, sitting straight back up again.
Hermione winced, she really shouldn’t have said that. “Sorry Ginny – I didn’t mean – “
“No, pray tell Hermione, what key qualities was I short on?” Spat Ginny, eyes ablaze “Because while I might be a bit too horny to take on the camping trip of a lifetime, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have abandoned you guys half way through – “
Hermione felt like someone had tipped ice water over her. “Ron more than made up for that. He saved Harry. He saved me. He,” she wasn’t going to cry “– he did things only he could have done. Yes, he left but he came back,” her voice grew stronger “and you will not use his leaving against him ever again. Do you understand me?” Her hand instinctively flexed towards her pocket where her wand lay. She tried to subdue the urge to stand.
(You’re not at war, you’re not at war, you’re not at war.)
“I won’t, won’t I?” Ginny glowered.
“No Ginny. That Horcrux made us think dreadful things and yes, maybe Ron was the first to break but we all could have. And” she sniffed and continued in a quiet voice “if anyone was going to be cruel about making terrible mistakes whilst being in contact with a piece of Voldermort’s soul, I didn’t think it would be you.”
Ginny blinked at her “I was literally possessed. Ron got fucked up by a piece of jewellery.”
“You weren’t possessed every second of every day. You didn’t tell anyone what was happening because Riddle convinced you that you were alone. He convinced Ron, well - ” she didn’t know exactly what the horcrux had told Ron. She made a mental note to find out, when she could. But her point had been proven. Ginny went a little red.
“I was eleven, you know.”
Hermione sighed, “I know, Gin.”
Ginny opened her mouth to retort but seemed to find she had none. She looked down with an abashed expression on her face, a look Hermione had never seen before on Ginerva Weasley’s pretty features.
“Ron is worth more than his weakest moment. He might have left but he came back and that is all that will ever matter.” She said.
Ginny met her gaze and softened under it for a moment, before she threw herself back onto her bed and exclaimed “Bloody hell Hermione, if you love Ron so much why don’t you just shag him.”
Hermione covered her eyes with her hands, “I’m trying to! That was the point of this entire mortifying conversation!” She felt herself blush beetroot red.
“Am I meant to give you advice on how to seduce my brother?” the redhead raised her eyebrows.
Hermione had had enough humiliation. “No – I, forget it!” she exclaimed, getting up. “I’m going down to see if Mrs Weasley needs any help with dinner.”
“No, Hermione, wait.”
“Really Ginny, I just want to – “
“Petrificus Totalus” Hermione felt her whole body seized up. Ginny had hexed her! That bloody witch. She was going to give her –
“I’ll undo it, don’t flip your shit. Just stay a little while. I won’t tease, H, I promise. Finite Incantartem.” With a casual flick of Ginny’s wand relief rushed through Hermione’s every muscle.
She rounded on her friend, “Ginny Weasley, if you ever – “
“Save it. Why haven’t you jumped him then? If you couldn’t with all the Horcrux hunting, what about since?” Hermione sat down on the bed, facing her.
“Everything has been so busy.” Ginny raised an eyebrow again.
“What’s the real reason?”
“Well, Fred.” She should not have been bringing him up. Ginny had asked for a distraction from all the misery and here she was, Hermione Granger, reminding her of the worst of it. She grimaced. You might be the brightest witch of your age but you have the tact of Rita Skeeta, sometimes..
Though Ginny flinched slightly at his name, she continued unperturbed; “What about him?”
Hermione swallowed. “Well. I can hardly “jump” him with – you know, he’s – everyone is, we’re all grieving him. And I hardly think it would be appropriate to – “
Before she could finish, Ginny cut her off: “Sod appropriate Hermione. You won a fucking war. You nearly died. You deserve a shag. And so does my twat of a brother. And you know as well as I do, if anyone would be waging the campaign to finally get Ron laid, it would have been Fred.” Her eyes shone a little at the pronouncement but she was smiling, nonetheless. “Besides, sex is a pretty good distraction from all the grief.”
Hermione stared at her “And how would you know?”
“What do you think me and Harry do when we’re up here together?” she smirked.
She spluttered. It was true that Harry was in and out of Ginny’s room but she has assumed they were catching up, spending time together, trying to put themselves back together, like she and Ron should have been doing. “Well I thought he was telling you everything that happened last year. You know, filling you in...” Hermione trailed off as she saw Ginny’s smile widening.
“He’s certainly filling me in.”
“Ginny!” Hermione squealed, “He’s like my brother, could you possibly refrain from innuendo?” Ginny opened her mouth but she held up her hand – “and I swear to Merlin, if you say “in your end do”, I will tell your mother what really goes on in here.”
Ginny looked nonplussed. “Hermione you just asked for actual advice on how to take the precious virginity of my actual brother, you don’t have a broom to fly on.”
They looked at each other and burst out laughing. It lasted for minutes, for longer than Hermione could remember laughing in such a long time. It hurt her cheeks, her ribs. It burned in places she had forgotten existed.
As her throat began to hurt, she coughed out “I missed you so much Ginny. We couldn’t bring you with us. If anything had happened to you, the boys would have lost their minds. I would have too. The three of us, we’ve been fighting together since we were eleven…”
Ginny put her arm around her shoulders, “I know Hermione, I know. I didn’t mind much. Plenty to be getting along with at Hogwarts.”
They sat for a moment, Hermione laying her head on Ginny’s shoulder. It seemed a ridiculous thing to think, in this moment, but was so glad they were alive. So achingly glad to be here, in the Burrow. To sit in Ginny’s room and argue. To be scolded by Mrs Weasley for not calling her Molly, for not eating enough. To sleep without casting seven wards. To know Harry was safe. To know Ron was there. Ron.
Ron with his broad shoulders and his red ears and his stupid eyes and his slightly chapped lips and his long arms and -
“We really should go help your mum.”
“Yeah, ok. You’re going to do it though?” Ginny implored.
“Do what?”
She rolled her eyes. “Try it on with Ronald.”
Hermione frowned. Know she had Ginny’s advice and seemingly her blessing, her course of action was clearer. But that didn’t mean she was brave enough to complete it.
What house are you in?
“We’ll see.”
“We’ll see! All of that and I only get a we’ll see!”
“We’ll see” she insisted. She’d decided what she needed to do. The doing of it could wait for a day that hadn’t been spent in black dress robes.
“Okay. Okay. We should get changed out of these things first,” said Ginny. She bent to undo her shoes as Hermione pulled her robes off.
There was a knock at the door, and Ron’s voice “Hermione, Ginny”.
Hermione was stood in her bra. Before she could tell him to wait one bloody second, Ginny’s sing song voice called “Come in.”
Hermione was stood in her bra and Ron opened the door. Hermione was stood in her bra in front of Ron. Ron was staring at Hermione, stood in her bra. Her bra. Ron. Hermione.
“Oops,” giggled Ginny’s voice “sorry Hermione, Ron bugger off! I didn’t realise she wasn’t decent.”
“Shit, sorry, sorry. Shit. I’ll just – “ Ron was bright red and out the door before Hermione could so much as raise an arm to cover herself.
Ginny danced out of the room after him, before Hermione could get hold of her wand, grinning like a mad woman.
“I’m going to kill you, Ginny.” Hermione seethed at her as Ginny continued to look pleased as Peeves with herself in the doorway.
“Careful. Mum might Bellatrix you. See you downstairs. Unless you wanted to go find Ronald… The present is a good a time as any and all that.”
And with that, Ginny skipped downstairs.
She had never reminded Hermione of the twins, of Fred, more. She suddenly felt like she might cry. She’d done enough of that, she sniffed hard, pulled on a t shirt and some jeans and tried to pull her hair up into a ponytail of some description. She looked at herself in Ginny’s mirror.
It was hopeless. You’re hopeless.
“I’m hopeless? I’m a fucking Gryffindor” she told herself.
She was walking up the stairs to the attic room before she could talk herself out of it. As she turned the corner she bumped into Harry.
“Merlin, Hermione, what have you done to Ron?” Harry asked harshly.
“What?” she retorted.
“He looks like he needs a Pepper Up Potion and when I asked he just said ‘Hermione’. You two really don’t need to be arguing right now. If you’re going to have another go – “
She rolled her eyes, “We weren’t arguing!”
“Oh. Right. What then?” Harry demanded. Then he seemed to take in her flushed appearance and impatient air. “Actually, I don’t want to know. I’m going to go find Ginny.”
“Yes, Harry you do that.”
He began to scarper downstairs.
“Harry?” she whispered after him.
With a sigh, he turned around “What?”
“You and Ginny. You do use a contraceptive charm, don’t you? Are you sure you’ve got the wand motion down because I could always teach you? Or maybe we could ask Molly?”
Harry blushed a colour Hermione wasn’t sure she’d seen him ever turn and opened his mouth like someone had Confunded him. She had to give Ginny her due, this mocking thing was pretty fun.
“See you later, Harry.” she called and Hermione Granger knocked on Ron’s door.