Archive of Our Own

The night he first saw you, it was snowing.

Snowflakes fell slowly, as if they were in limbo not able to make up their minds about falling or staying mid air; It was a breathtaking sight. Blankets of snow covered the once lush green grass that surrounded your home like a sea of white. The First Upper Moon did not usually venture out into the world unless absolutely necessary, so it was unbeknownst even to him why he found himself among the trees, his eyes focused on the woman who constantly came out to the engawa on the back side of her home in the middle of the night.

Kokushibo knew all too well, the naivety of human beings and you was no different. All humans by now, knew the dangers of staying out too late. Especially the women — So was this habit of yours due to your stupidity or did you just like to tempt death? Your reasoning was beyond him. Sooner or later, it would cost you your life; He was sure of it.

But he'd like to watch while you were still able to take in the breath of life — it did not come from a cynical place, not in the way Douma probably would regard it, but you intrigued him, weirdly enough.

After all, he was human once as well.

Tentatively, you reached a hand out into the air before you, catching snowflakes on your palm and watching them turn into water once they made contact with your warm skin. Winter had finally come. This season was your favorite for many reasons; The fluffy snow, the warm meals.. but most of all, you loved the long nights. When the crescent moon revealed itself to you, it was as if the spirit of tranquility took you over — as if nothing else but this moment mattered.

And maybe it was escapism.

Maybe it was just your way of coping with reality.

But the privilege of seeing the moon every night out on the engawa, with your legs dangling off the edge and your eyes glued to the sky, is something you would never change. The fact that you were betrothed to a landowner would not change this habit. If anything, your longing gaze would only increase evermore.

The cold bite of the wind felt like kisses on your cheeks, and the feeling of snowflakes melting in your tresses only brought you that sense of comfort you so desperately sought out in these long nights. Often times, you left the shoji door closed because you wanted to keep these nights close to your like a secret. Like a treasure only you knew of. You inhaled slowly with your eyes closed, the cold air entering your lungs and exiting your mouth in visible warm puffs of air.

Fabric brushes against wood but it isn't yours. It's close, but not you — you know it is not you because of the fact that you're sitting completely still in this silent night. You wonder then if maybe it was a good idea to be out tonight. Then again, you should have never felt this comfortable to be out on your own at night, everyone knew these were the hours in which demons were most active..

But would dying at the hands of a demon really be that damning when you were destined to live a subservient empty life anyway?

The sound grew closer, only this time it was accompanied by heaving and what sounded like laughing. You dared not open your eyes, but you didn't run either. If this was your fate, you would accept it with a warm embrace. This decision was a split second decision, one you regretted the moment you opened your eyes to reveal the grotesque visage of a demon. It's horns and multiple eyes should have made you scream and cry, but not even a peep escaped your lips.

And before you could even register what happened, the demon was disintegrating in a flash, only for the image of a tall man with a purple and black kimono, his black hakama draped over him and a katana at his side. His long tresses obstructed his face from you, but you weren't looking too hard anyway, if anything you were intrigued as to how and why you were saved by this stranger.

How had he managed to sneak onto the grounds of your home without you noticing?

Unfortunately, before you could ask this man anything, his disappeared within seconds as well, leaving nothing but the memory of him as a trace that he was ever there. His presence left you with questions that ran rampant in your mind like mice in an abandoned home. That night, you left with more confusion than the solace you'd come to seek out in the quiet of the night.

"Father.. Is this marriage really necessary?"

"Yes. We've already talked about this, _______. It is final." The firm tone of your fathers voice was absolute. As his eldest daughter, this was your fate: To be married off to a wealthy landowner, therefore ensuring that you would live out a comfortable future. Truthfully, you family wasn't the wealthiest but you were more well off than the beggars in the streets. If anything, this marriage was a miracle.

It felt more like a curse though.

With a deep breath, you dismissed yourself from your fathers presence and headed to your room. Your mother did not utter a word to you, they all — including your younger sister — knew you were upset about the marriage. However, it seemed that they cared more about the benefits of your marriage than the way you felt about it. You suppose maybe you should too; You were only helping your family after all. It would be selfish to keep the fortune that awaited you from them, wouldn't it?

Your pushed open the shoji door and entered your room with quiet footsteps. Right now, all you needed was a distraction; You set up a canvas on the side of your wall, uncaring about the paint that would surely get everywhere. You wouldn't be living here for much longer anyway — What's a little paint spillage?

As you scattered paint over the blank canvas like the skilled painter you had become, your mind became clouded with thoughts of the day you met your now fiancé. The day had begun as any other; With your sister helping you carry the wagon that held your supplies into the village square, where tourists and newlyweds would often frequent. Here, you sold paintings fairly quickly which meant good business for your family. It was a simple occupation but it made a wonderful pastime, especially since you enjoyed the work so much.

Seeing smiles on the faces of couples and children made you happy, you didn't need anything else. Yet to your dismay, you caught the eye of a watchful wealthy man. To any other woman, it would have been the greatest thing that had ever happened to them; It would have been a fulfilling experience.

But you didn't need to be filled with anything — You were whole and happy.

But reality doesn't stop just because you're happy.

"Did you paint those yourself?"

Questions about your paintings always made you happy, so you smiled. "I did, actually. Would you like a custom painting? Maybe one for your wife?" This was a seller's question — not to be mistaken for someone who's interested in getting to know him. Unfortunately for you, this man did not distinguish between the two.

He laughs and dismisses your question. "I am unmarried. I have yet to find a suitable wife."

"I see. Maybe I could paint you something suited to your tastes instead?" You moved on quickly. Not because you were rude, but because this man's personal life was not of your concern.

But he cared not. "Suitable to my tastes.." he hums, "Then how about a self portrait?"

You chuckle, pulling out a blank canvas and adjusting it onto the easel. "Of yourself? That's quite a high self-esteem you've got."

He laughs at your question, like there's something you don't understand. "No, not of me."

"Then, who?"

"You."

It takes you a second to register the words this man has unashamedly spoken to you. And once it does, this feeling of disgust is born in the depths of your stomach. Was it supposed to be romantic? Because you could assure him that it wasn't.

You laugh awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable. "Sorry. I don't do self portraits." Under the sleeves of your kimono, your fingernails dig crescent moons into your skin. Who was this stranger to make advances towards you? The man had sleek black hair that draped behind his back freely and a neat thin mustache that adorned the space above his upper lip. He wore linens of exquisite manufacturing and smelled clean.

From the moment this man approached your stand, you should have known he was not here with intentions you would agree with.

"Marry me," you repeat the words he spoke to you a week ago and scoffed at your impending marriage to him. You were angry, needless to say. Angry because all it took was a word about his status to your father to get him to agree to marrying you off. Angry because you knew you would not be seen as anything more than a decoration beside this man. Angry because you knew you should feel at least some form of gratitude at the fact that such a man looked upon you.

Your breaths began to grow ragged and your features distorted with anger. the black paint muddled in with the red you'd laid down prior. It looked like a bloody explosion, what you had painted. When the brush touched the canvas, you did not have a clear plan, but just looking at it you could tell it was a reflection of your emotions. Overcome with an urge to dispose of it, you got up from your place on the tatami mat and hauled the painting outside.

The afternoon had long since morphed into night and snow was falling again. It should have been calming but your anger had you clenching your jaw as your nails ripped through the canvas. Out on the engawa, you allowed angry hot tears to stream down your cheeks as you tore the piece to shreds. Your hands were stained from the paint but all you cared about was ripping every last piece of canvas off the wood it was attached to.

In the midst of your tantrum, you heard once again the sound from yesterday as clear as day: Fabric rustling against wood. "Who's there?" You called out. Could it be the man from two days ago? The one who practically saved your life without so much as a word? You hated this silence that you shared with an unknown stranger. You thought for a moment that it might be your soon to be husband but immediately shook the thought away from your mind — It seemed impossible, a man like him would not get his hands dirty even if it was for his future wife.

"You should know better than to stay out this late."

The deep voice of this stranger immediately ruled out the possibility of it being your fiancé, but it also confirmed the fact that you were being watched. Was he.. Human? Based off of what you had seen of him the last time- Wait, was he even the same stranger?

"Why did you save me?" you asked out into the open.

It was silent for a moment. "I did not feel like witnessing your death." You scoff at his words. It was a shallow and self-serving reason. Then again, you don't know what you expected. Your life wasn't some slow-burn, romance novel — this was reality.

"My apologies, I didn't know my death was such an inconvenience." Your tone is laced with sarcasm while you focus your eyes on the paint staining your arm. It hardened by now which allowed you to chip it off. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Why did you ruin that painting of yours?"

"Answer my question and I'll answer yours."

Kokushibo holds back the desire to chuckle. "Do you really want the answer to that, Human?" He wondered how you'd look upon realizing the man you spoke to wasn't a human himself. It seemed that you were aware enough to pick up on the words he used and the expression of realization washing over you was not lost on him; It was amusing. What would you do next?

".. I do." You answer. If you knew he was a demon, you weren't letting him know it explicitly.

"Since the beginning of the previous month."

You should have been afraid, like anyone else would have been if they knew they were speaking to a demon. Instead, you leaned your back against the wooden pillar beside you as if this was normal. "You don't have anything better to do?"

"That does not sound like the question I asked." He reminded.

"Oh. ..The painting." your eyes drifted back to the ruined canvas at your feet. "I didn't like it."

"That is the reason for which you tore it so viciously?"

You roll your eyes, "Please, it's not like it was a masterpiece of some sort. It was just a painting I hated."

"You do that to all the painting you dislike?"

"Why do you ask so many questions? I should be asking you why you're even here." you looked towards the direction of his voice and wondered what he looked like. Would he be scary? Deformed like most demons are?

"You should be. However, something tells me you do not care to know that information."

"How would you know?"

"Need I remind you of the fact that I have been observing you?"

"Oh." You let out a humorless chuckle, "That."

There was an awkward silence between the two of you after that, with neither of you saying anything. Despite that silence though, you could still feel him there. For some reason his silent presence was more intimidating than when he spoke to you. You sigh and stand up, taking the shreds of your painting inside your room. It was getting late and you were due for a dinner with your fiancé tomorrow. And for that, you'd need all the rest you could get.

But before sliding your door closed, you looked back in the direction of the trees, where you had heard the demon's voice. "What's your name?"

Minutes passed and you began to wonder if he was still even there. Just before you slid your door completely closed, you heard his response.

"Kokushibo."

Onigiri and fish would have satisfied you on any other day. Rice balls tasted good when you made them for yourself as a snack before painting, it was a nostalgic type of food — one of your favorites, actually. Fish was savory and filled you during dinnertime with your family; When all of you shared conversations about your younger sister's new friend down the road, how your father had been able to hire more young men to work in his fields..

But today, the food and the conversation made you sick.

Not in the 'there was something wrong with it' type of sick, but the type of sickness that comes with faking enjoyment for the benefit of those at the table. Dinner was supposed to be going well. After all, in two months time, you'd be wed to the man you sat beside. So you should at least try and get to know him right?

Wrong.

You maintained a performative smile and spoke to him in a polite voice out of respect for your parents. You knew they only wanted the best for you, the least you could do was accept this miracle you'd been handed. "Is the food not to your liking, my Flower?" You resisted the urge to wince at the nickname he used. He would have been a nice man had he not made his intentions with you so blatant.

He didn't even court you like a man should; Jinsei needed only ask your mother and father for their blessing, which they gave freely after hearing of his status as a landowner.

"It's perfect, Jinsei. Thank you."

Jinsei's mother, Aiha, was a woman with hair as black as her sons long tresses were tied up in a neat bun which was held together by a golden hairpin. Her face was pristine and smooth with minimal wrinkles around her eyes. Her eyes were piercing blues that remained on you for the entire dinner. "You've found yourself a polite woman, Son. I'm grateful your search has been successful."

Jinsei smiles at his mother, his hand snaking around your waist comfortably and bringing you close to him as if to show you off like a decorative painting, "As am I. You should see her paintings, mother. They're absolutely exquisite; Her passion for artistry is what drew me in — It was like a dream when I laid my eyes upon her for the first time." He looks down at you tenderly with those blue eyes that resembled his mother's.

You part from him discreetly, feigning a cough as if something got stuck in your throat just to be released from his hold.

Aiha smiles at her son, "I can only imagine how wonderful it was to fall for such a beautiful woman." She then turns to you, a cup of green tea resting in her hands. "So, tell me, my daughter-in-law, why did you agree to his proposal?"

For my mother and father. "To be truthful, Miss Hirusanji, His persistence ultimately drew me in." You smile and feign a look of longing at your fiancé. "I want to make him as happy as he makes me."

"They're adorable, aren't they?" Your mother gushes to your father who only looks at the two of you with a warm gaze. Seriously, you couldn't believe that they were buying this act of yours. It made you feel disgusted to be someone you weren't in front of everyone sitting at this table. But so was the price of a comfortable future, was it not?

The dinner continued with both your family and the Hirusanji family getting to know each other. Both of your mothers seemed to be the most content about this marriage so you guessed that the deal was pretty much sealed. There was no way out of it no matter how much you tried to ask them about it.

When you arrived home, you were the first to break the silence.

"Can you both explain to me why this marriage is necessary?"

Your father sighs tiredly and your mother turns to hold your hands. "Honey, we want to see you live your life comfortably with a nice man. Your father and I don't want to see you struggle with our burdens, it would be much more-"

You took your hands from her, "But I don't care about any of that..! I don't mind sharing in your struggle and helping the two of you like I have been my entire life!"

"Helping me work the fields isn't the life I want for my daughter!" Your father erupted. "Maybe you fail to see it now, but ten years from now you'll be thankful for the man you'll soon have at your side. I can guarantee it."

Tears spilled down your cheeks, "Why do you disregard what I want for my own life? Has it not ever occurred to you that perhaps I find fulfillment in the life I already lead?"

"You're foolish if you believe that this life of struggle is better than the life of comfort that is being offered to you. Have you no gratitude? We accepted his proposal because we love you."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't wed me to a man I know nothing about; A man whom I do not love." you clarified, looking into your fathers eyes with disdain in them.

"Even if you don't love him now, dear.. You can learn to love him, can't you? He's a generous man and you'll be more than well off with him. Think about the future, this is a good thing." Your mother tries to ease the tension but you can't find it in you to capitulate. You were never an easy daughter and you wouldn't begin being that now.

You scoff and storm off into your room without a word. You had nothing to say to them, nothing that would change their mind about it anyway.

.

.

.

You sat out in the engawa, watching the sun set and waiting for the moon to arrive.

This marriage.. It wasn't at all what you wanted. Your heart was dedicated to your artistry, your creativity and your ability to make others happy with it. You found happiness in the simple art of expression. If you were to marry, all of your achievements would be attributed to your husband — This was a fact. Jinsei was a decent man and yes, he was blessed with riches, but that alone did not mean you would allow him to take your individuality in exchange for money — It wasn't who you were.

After about an hour of waiting for the moon to come down, you decided to quickly venture out and retrieve two apples as a snack. You cut them as you sat on the engawa, leaning on the pillar while you separated the apple skins from flesh. A few minutes later and you heard the familiar sound of fabric against wood.

Without looking upwards, you spoke, "Kokushibo?"

A minute passes, "_______."

"Wonderful night we're having, huh?"

"Agreed."

You cut a slice of apple and take a bite of it. "I'm getting married in a month."

".. Are you?"

You nod, despite not knowing if he can even see you. Somehow, you think he does. "Yup, so you'll have to find somebody else to stalk."

"I was not stalking you."

You chuckle, "Right, you 'observe'." Like that's any different.

Kokushibo, despite not being quite the talkative man, he sure likes hearing you speak. Or at least, that's what you think since he hasn't stated his actual reason for being here constantly now for two nights in a row — that and he hasn't told you to shut up yet.

"You're a demon, right?"

"Yes."

"Why haven't you eaten me yet?"

"That's a gruesome question for a bride-to-be."

You frown, "Don't remind me."

He says nothing but notes your disdain towards the mention of your impending marriage.

"Why do you make it a habit to watch me?"

"Ask me anything else." Kokushibo says, as if he was annoyed by the type of questions you were asking; The type that assumed a relationship between he and you.

The skin of the apple falls onto the dish you laid out while you cut through the second apple, "Tell me something about yourself."

"Why should I do that?"

"I'm not keen on conversing with strangers."

"It would be in your best interest to think of me as nothing but a stranger. I am a demon after all."

His words caused the light to momentarily leave your eyes, your expression darkening slightly. "You know, I'm sick of people telling me what's in my best interest." In your anger, you fail to notice the sharp end of the knife cutting through the flesh of the skin and slicing a shallow cut into your thumb. You wince at first but instead of going to wrap it up, you simply stuff the digit into your mouth and lick it clean. "It's annoying, having people tell me what I should do, as if I'm incapable of making good decisions for myself."

Kokushibo smells your blood from his place hidden in the trees. It's a sweet aroma, he notes. "Is that why you're unsatisfied with the marriage?" He asks, his eyes narrowing at you. He can see you clearly even as the snow falls outside.

"I'm more than unsatisfied. I'm angry," you admit, looking at your thumb to check if the bleeding stopped. ".. The painting you asked about yesterday — the one I destroyed .. I ripped it up because I was angry." At this point, Kokushibo was just letting you air out your emotions to him. He wasn't speaking back to you but instead was listening to you.. and it made you a little relieved to think about it, even if he was a man-eating demon.

"..My whole life, I've done nothing but support my parents, even when they struggled. I helped mother cook and clean, I've taken care of my sister when mother and father couldn't — I've helped make money for our family.. My entire life, I've asked for nothing in return because I was happy doing it." Your throat closes up and you feel tears sting your eyes. "I was happy with painting and seeing the smiles on the people that would buy them; I was happy at home.." you sob, wiping your tears hastily. Desperate to get rid of them, "-and I'm tired of crying about it so much when I know there's nothing else I can do about it..!" Frustrated sobs wrack through your body and you find it hard to stop once you've already started.

You seldom cried in front of people, even your own family. It was strange that you felt so comfortable doing it in front of a demon who could definitely eat you for lunch — or dinner for that matter.

Kokushibo is not really a people person, so you can guess why the demon just watched you as you cried, not really knowing what to do. He wasn't sure what you'd do if you actually saw him — not that you hadn't already, but that was different. "I'm assuming your parents were not receptive to your feelings on the matter."

"You assume correctly.." you tell him, your sobs turning to sniffles and the skin around your eyes was no doubt raw from you rubbing them with your kimono. After a moment, you begin to laugh which confuses the demon that's still watching you from afar.

"Why are you laughing?"

You're still giggling through your sniffles when you explain, "Sorry, it's just.. It's a little funny that I'm telling all of this to you.. You could kill me at any moment and yet I'm talking your ear off about my marriage."

"I will not kill you."

You smile slightly in the direction of his voice. "I'm not afraid of that happening.. You don't seem to want to hurt me."

Kokushibo scoffs, "Do you normally make it a point to converse with demons?"

"No, not usually. Though I guess I probably shouldn't make it a habit, huh?"

"Either you're incredibly naive, or you've no self-preservation skills. Or both." Kokushibo points out, as if he's disappointed.

Your next words, however, wipe that look of disapproval off of his face.

"I don't think I have to worry about self-preservation when I've got you watching over me, Kokushibo."

For the next three and a half weeks, your talks with Kokushibo persisted.

Late into the night, you'd be talking with the demon well into the hours of the morning. The cloudy skies kept him from falling victim to the sun but still, you did not manage to catch a glimpse of what he looked like. Despite that, you grew to have a sort of warm feeling for the man that would listen to you rant about quite literally anything.

You could be complaining about something that happened during the day or explaining a new painting technique you learned and he'd be willing to listen every time. He didn't even stop you when you spoke of your dates with your fiancé — not that you expected him to feel some type of way about such things, it's not like he could feel things like that, you think.

"Jinsei isn't a bad guy, at least, from what I've seen so far.. But I still don't think I would like to marry him. You know?" Currently, you were in the backyard of your home, painting on the canvas positioned on an easel you'd set up before sunset. You wanted to paint the sky at night because the moon would be full tonight.

"The ceremony is in three days.."

Your brush halts, hovering over the canvas and you sigh. ".. I know."

"How.. Are you feeling?" Kokushibo would have never asked this question before, but the time he's spent with you reminded him of his human habits — habits he had long forgotten even existed. It was strange, to feel this way about you; He wasn't sure he would feel things like this after he became a demon. But it seemed that becoming a supernatural being did not save him from feeling the warmth of passion or the sting of envy — in fact, it amplified those pesky feelings of his.

Maybe that's why he had gotten so comfortable asking you such frivolous questions.

".. I don't know." your voice was quiet, but he heard you still. "My heart is heavy.." you let out a tired sigh, "Kokushibo?" You set your supplies down on the small table and turn in the direction of his voice, where he always is.

"Hm?"

He watches you turn around, noticing the conflicted look on your face. "Ca.. Can I see you?"

The question catches him off guard. It's understandable that after about two months of constant talking, you'd want to see him — but he didn't think about what he would do once you actually asked him. How would you react? I mean, it's not like you didn't know he was a demon but.. He mentally groans at his hesitation. Was he.. nervous?

Impossible.

The soft sound of rustling leaves and the all-too-familiar sound of fabric against wood travels to your ears and you find your heart beating a little faster. The cold night air kept your hards from getting clammy but that didn't stop you from getting goosebumps once he appeared before you. Your gaze traveled from his black hakama and up, up, up, to the visage of the man you'd grown more to be more than acquainted with for the past two months.

His eyes — he had six of them, three on each side — were a striking yellow with kanji written over the two middle ones; His sclera was the color of a crimson red. His skin was pale and looked smooth, you almost felt compelled to reach out and touch it. You were quick to notice the scarring on his forehead which trailed down until his lower sets of eyes and continued on his right side down to his neck where it disappeared.

His long hair and the purple kimono he wore you remembered from the day you first saw him. The more you took him in, the less nervous you became. He looked awfully human, then again, the only other demon you ever saw was the one he struck down. Still.. it brought a sort of warmth to know he was real.

That you hadn't gone crazy and started talking to random voices hidden in the wind.

".. Hi." you pause, "Wait, that was awkward- I mean.. um, It's nice to finally meet you..?" The statement came out as a question, you could thank your lack of people skills for that.

He resists the urge to laugh at your awkwardness. It was kind of adorable, the way you were so nervous about the ordeal — It seemed as if you'd forgotten what the two of you were talking about before you asked to see him.

"Did you have a goal when you asked to see me?"

His voice was deep. Not that you didn't already know, but that didn't stop it from leaving goosebumps on your skin. Hearing it this close was.. weird.

"Oh, that.." you gathered yourself and avoided his gaze, "I guess I.. just wanted to see you before, you know, before I get married."

".. I see." It was strange to feel so.. protective over you — perhaps it was because you were a fragile human.

"Will you come see me, even after I'm married..?" It was your way of asking if he would leave you. To want to be close to a demon was not something you ever thought could happen, much less to you.

But Kokushibo was kind.

He listened to you ramble on about your days: About your human affairs. He lent you an ear when feelings concerning your marriage got especially hard to deal with on your own. Every night, without fail, if you called out to him — he would always respond. He would always be there.

"Why would that matter to me?" Kokushibo asked. It made your heart flutter.

You look up at him with a surprised look, "I.. I won't be living here anymore, that's why I.."

He doesn't smile, doesn't chuckle — But even then, his words manage to warm the edges of your soul.

"I shall follow you wherever you go, no matter the place."

It should've been creepy. Should've scared you off and intimidated you knowing that this demon would not leave you alone even if you were to leave the home town he met you in. For Kokushibo, the only constant place he ever 'lived' in was Muzan's castle. Though you're comparing him to a regular human man, which made Kokushibo do away with the confusion he initially felt upon hearing your question.

Maybe a human man would have felt some sort of pain upon the prospect of knowing you would be wed and soon leave this place, but to a demon? Borders such as those did not apply. It would be erroneous on your part to think that rules applying to men of your world would apply to a supernatural being such as he.

Nonetheless, Kokushibo did not tell you so and instead relished in the warmth radiating from your cheeks. You were so far away, but he could feel it regardless of that fact.

You sigh in relief and reach out to take his cold hand in your warmer ones. You then proceeded to hold it to your chest, as if it was some sacred treasure.

"Thank you, Kokushibo. I'm happy to have met you."

In last two nights leading up to your wedding, Kokushibo made it a point to sit beside you on the engawa instead of conversating with you from afar like he had been doing for the past two months. Tonight, the night before your wedding, you were all kinds of nervous and Kokushibo unfortunately was the witness to your endless (and very nonsensical) worries.

"What if I trip on my kimono and fall in front of everyone during the ceremony? Or worse, what if I spill sake during the San-San-Kudo??" You let out a groan and curl into yourself, your knees pressed against to your chest as your head leaned on Kokushibo's shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.

It shouldn't be.

"Everything will go accordingly." He tells you, his voice confident like you're not clumsy in front of the public on a daily basis. "I am sure of it."

"You don't know that! I could say the wrong thing or- or embarrass myself in front of his entire family!" Your worried eyes shut at the thought of messing up and you don't know it, but Kokushibo thinks its adorable how much you care about a wedding you didn't even want.

"Your fears are irrational."

"Pleaase, keep stating the obvious, Koku."

The nickname causes him to turn and look down at you, who isn't looking at him but instead at the snow. "Koku?"

You nod, "Yeah. It's a cute nickname, don't you think?"

"Cute?" This draws him further into the depths of confusion. Kokushibo was not 'cute', he was a man-eating demon that has killed thousands. The blood of innocents are on his hands and yet you dare equate a ruthless, powerful being like him to the softest adjective in your vocabulary? It should insult him to be seen in such a childish way by you.

Key word: should.

However, in the time he's taken to observe you and remain in your presence, he realizes that there are many things that should be, that aren't. Like the way you so casually hold his hand when you sneak out of your family home, eager to walk with him through empty forest trails. Or when you ask to braid his hair during his last few nightly visits like he isn't an arbiter of destruction.

You should be scared of the man you're next to you and yet instead, you lean your head on his shoulder and snake your arm around his as if he's a pillow of some sort.

"I am not cute." Kokushibo says simply. It's a fact.

You look up at him, leaning up to place your chin on his shoulder; Your faces too close to one another. Closer than a demon and a human should ever be. Your scent was sweet; Like that of Moon Cake. "You are cute, you're just in denial."

"Denial? It's an irrefutable fact. I have killed thousands and even demons fear my name. You would be a foolish woman to think of me as anything other than what I am."

"Then I guess I'm a foolish woman." you smirk, eyes locked with his as if everything else melted away and it was just the two of you. A solid minute passes but it feels like a lifetime; Until Kokushibo clears his throat and begins to speak again.

"..Speaking of foolishness.." He reaches into his side, where is Katana would usually lay; Except his Katana is at his side on the floor, so it must be something else. Your eyes widen when he presents you with a fan. A Sensu fan to be exact. "I know you would rather not think of it, but.. I acquired this for you. Think of it as a wedding gift."

Your eyes widened while you took it into your hands, your hold delicate as if it would break if you applied any more pressure. "Kokushibo.. This is so thoughtful, I- ..Thank you..!" You're still holding the fan when you reach up to envelop him in your embrace. Your arms feel soft and delicate around him; Instinctively, one of his palms immediately goes flat on the floor behind him to hold him up so he wont fall from the impact of your embrace, his other snakes around your middle and holds you close to him.

You're draped over him like a blanket, hot tears falling from your eyes and a bright smile on your face like he's just given you the world. You feel so freely around him; It makes him feel almost as if he's human again, weirdly enough.

After a moment, you pull yourself off and wipe your tears, "Sorry, I didn't mean to cry all over you, it's just.. I don't know. ..I feel happy when I'm with you.. Safe." You're not looking at him anymore but there's an evident warmth on your cheeks. You seem like you're glowing, like the light of a star enveloped by night.. and it's then that he realizes the weight of what it meant for you to marry.

You would inherit the role of a dutiful wife; You would by unhappy, surely. Kokushibo knew this because you hated doing what others told you to, even if you ended up succumbing to expectations out of the kindness of your own heart. You hated being someone you weren't and this marriage would go against every aspect of your core being.

And yet, he could not tell you to say no.

He wouldn't because it was not who he was.

Yes, he was powerful and ruthless; A force to be reckoned with — but he would never violate your wishes in exchange for his own pleasure unless you allowed him that selfishness. He respected you too much to whisk you away and claim you for himself without your consent.

"You should get some rest." Kokushibo says, his tone quiet and his voice softer than usual.

You shook your head softly, looking at the fan and opening it to admire it. "I don't want tonight to end."

His hand squeezes the fabric on your waist ever so slightly, you would have missed it if you weren't hyper-aware of your surroundings when you were with him. It makes the heat rush to your face and shivers run down your spine in a way you haven't experienced before.

Somehow, in the months you've known Kokushibo, he's made you feel things not even your fiancé manages to make you feel.

Could it be possible to have feelings for a demon?

No.. that would be unheard of.

Time passes and you somehow end up falling asleep on his shoulder, curling into him as if he'd disappear if you let go. Kokushibo must have tucked you in because when you awoke, your shoji door was closed, you were tucked into your futon with the Sensu fan at your side.

"You look so beautiful, dear! Jinsei will be delighted to see you." Your mother looked upon your face full of makeup; You were already dressed in your Shiro-muku Kimono and ready for the ceremony — at least in the physical sense. Mentally, you were absent and actively trying not to think about the whole thing at all.

This was for your family.

"I'm sure he will be." You smile slightly at your mother.

She begins to tear up and you only sigh, "Mother, please. It's not that big of a deal.."

"'Not that big of a deal'? My eldest is getting married!" Your mother smiles and wipes her tears, "I'm happy for you, my daughter. Even if this wasn't your wish.. I pray you two will find love in one another and stay together for many years." Her hands come up to caress your face. You want to cry but you can't — and not because you're happy, but because you're mourning the death of your freedom.

"I hope so too.." you lie, your voice quiet.

.

.

.

".. My dear wife, I vow to make you happy all the days of your life. I will make sure you lack nothing and that your days are filled with nothing but love, peace and happiness. I pray to the gods that we may live in harmony and love for this year and the years to come. _______, you are the most beautiful woman I .."

Your now-husband Jinseo's vows should have made you fill with warmth and appreciation — yet all you could think about was whether or not you would see Kokushibo tonight.

It was shameful, you know, but you couldn't help it!

Not when you still felt the delicacy of his hand on your waist, or the soft kiss of his breath on your skin, or the Sensu fan he had given you before — one with the design of purple orchids and white roses. The gods would surely punish you for thinking of another man at your own wedding, there was no way you'd be forgiven for it. But it's not as if you wanted this weeding anyway so maybe punishment isn't so bad.

After the San-San-Kudo, the wedding vows, and other rituals were completed, you left with Jinseo — Now your husband — to the new place where you would now reside. When the two of you arrived in a carriage pulled by horses, you were bewildered. You had never seen a vehile such as that and Jinsei's home was also different to your own. It was more modern and less familiar to you. Gone were the shoji doors and tatami mats you were so used to — Yes, this place felt completely foreign to you.

It was even worse when you were led into a room, your hand being held by your husband. "I'm sure you're tired," Jinseo began, "This is the bathroom, the housekeeper has laid out a change of clothes for you, my flower."

Your brows knitted together. All of this was so confusing and new; The place you lived in now was near a bustling city that seemed to glow even at night. The scent of nature and vegetation was replaced by strong sweet smells and other things you couldn't even discern. It had not even been a single day and you were already feeling that familiar pit in your stomach from such a strange environment.

Would Kokushibo even manage to find you?

With a weary sigh and a heavy heart, you shed your wedding kimono and took the floral yukata in your hands. It was pink and adorned in flowers; It would have been beautiful under different circumstances. Regardless of your feelings, you continued on and soon emerged from the bathroom. You tried to find your room, but before then you were busy getting lost in every corridor of this two-story house. There were many rooms, all had already been furnished but everything seemed new.

"Flower!" Jinseo called out to you with a smile on his face. When he stood before you, he cupped your cheek, "Did you get lost?"

"This house is different from the one I lived in…" you explained. Jinsei laughs and his thumb caresses the skin of your cheek back and forth — You wished to pull back but didn't.

His hand falls from your face to grab your own, "Ah, I see. I can show you everything tomorrow, yes? You must be tired. Why don't we get some rest, hm?"

You nod and follow him, your wedding clothes still in your arms while he leads you down a corridor. When he opens the door, it leads to an ostentatious room; It's huge — bigger than the room you had back home — there was a balcony near the bed and wait .. there's only one bed.

"We- uh .. we'll sleep together ..?" You hated how meek your voice sounded.

"Don't be shy my flower," Jinsei coos, holding your hand and leading you into the room. "You'll get used to it soon enough." Yes, it had gone over your head that because he was now your husband, you would probably have to be more intimate, but that wasn't your concern upon seeing the king-sized bed.

How were you supposed to speak to Kokushibo if he was here with you all the time?

You'd have to be careful, it seemed.

Soon enough, you found yourself tucked away in the large bed with an extremely handsy man at your side. His arms enveloped you, like a snake choking its prey. Not at all like when Kokushibo held you yesterday. Really, you shouldn't be comparing your demon .. friend, to your human husband, but still.

At every turn, it seemed that Kokushibo stood leagues above your husband. Maybe it was because you weren't as comfortable with your husband as you were with Kokushibo. Dates with Jinsei were always.. ordinary. It felt more like a routine than a romantic date between two people. No matter how many flowers he bought you, or how many pieces of expensive jewelry he could give you, not one of those gifts compared to the Sensu fan that Kokushibo gifted you.

Before you could think more about Kokushibo's role in your heart life, you heard a sound near by the window — the balcony.

Curiously, you turned and carefully lifted your husband's arm off of your stomach. Jinsei seemed to be a heavy sleeper, so he couldn't hear the sound you had heard seconds before. In the span of a few minutes, you were free from his grasp and you slowly walked to the doors leading out to the balcony. Once you twisted the knob and pushed forward, you looked around the area to see.. nothing.

You searched around for something that could have made the noise but it was only until the door closed behind you that you looked behind you.

And there, underneath the moonlight, you were met with Kokushibo's tall figure looming over you.

Excitedly, you lunged upward to embrace him, your arms around his middle with your cheek pressed against his chest. "I didn't think you'd find me..!" You were whispering so as to not wake up your husband.

"You underestimate me." Kokushibo states, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. His fingers were cold and you could feel his nails grazing your skin but it brought you immense comfort. "There is nowhere you could go that I would not find you."

You smile and hug him tighter, as if you're afraid he'll disappear if you let go. In the blink of an eye, Kokushibo's arm circles around your waist and presses you close to him to jump off of the balcony. You let out a squeal once you realize what's happening, "Kokushibo! What are you doing?!" You hold him tight, afraid he might drop you as he jumps from building to building. Your adrenaline spikes up and you don't know whether to feel excited or scared — you think both maybe.

"I won't drop you."

"You better not!" You yelp, burying your face into the fabric of his kimono.

"Do you distrust me that much?" he chuckles to himself, not noticing the way your gaze grows warm from hearing the sound of his laugh. It's the first time you've heard it. It distracts you so much that you forget to respond to him until he looks down at your starstruck expression. "What is it?"

You blink and look away, your cheeks feeling warm. "You laughed.."

"…" Kokushibo remains silent; He's bashful that you pointed it out — That you noticed, but he doesn't show it. After a few minutes, he finally stops jumping from building to building. He lets you gain footing before letting you go, but even then, his hand doesn't leave your own.

"Where.. are we?" You held his hand tightly and stood close to him — You've never stood atop a roof before so you were still afraid of falling. The city below was bustling and lively; You kind of wished you could walk the streets with him, but his appearance would surely draw attention.

You look up to him, only to see that he's already gazing down at you, his upper and lower eyes closed. It makes him look more human and it almost makes you melt when you consider he might be doing it to make you see him as less of a demon and more of a human. "There are fireworks.. It's still your wedding after all, you should celebrate."

But when the fireworks start to light up into the sky, you pull him down to your level and place a chaste kiss on his forehead. It catches him completely off guard and for a moment, you think you've done something wrong with the way he stays frozen in place. "I'm sorry..! I um, I don't know what came over me, I just.. you're being so kind to me- you've been kind to me and I just.. It made me happy.."

Kokushibo blinks and watches you fret over a mere kiss as if you've done something grave to anger him. He thinks you're adorable, over explaining yourself like this like any of it matters. His hand comes up again to cup your jaw and his golden eyes flicker to your lips and then back to your eyes; It was as if he was asking for your permission to kiss you. He leans in and his breath ghosts over your lips but he doesn't go any further, waiting for you to give him your consent.

You tilt your head upwards and close your eyes when you close the space between his lips and yours. Its slow at first and you follow his lead because you've never kissed someone before, which he takes note of. He deepens the kiss by angling your head to the side, you whimper at the feel of his tongue swiping across your lower lip. "Koku.." you sigh, your hands gripping the fabric of his sleeves slightly while he keeps kissing you.

His tongue brushes over yours, earning a whine from you that frankly made you embarrassed; Kokushibo was making you feel and do things that you never had done before, it made you nervous.. and maybe a little excited — Which you shouldn't be, because your husband was laying on the bed you both shared, only a few blocks away. Your skin started to feel warm the longer you kept making out with him; His lips were addictive — You almost forgot he probably ate humans with that same mouth.

He pulled apart from your lips, a string of saliva connecting your mouths until it snapped, leaving your lips glossy and breathless. Your cheeks were still warm and you were all of a sudden bashful after what you had done with him. "Uhm.." your hands still held onto his sleeve.

"Are you ..alright?" Kokushibo's voice is more gentle, almost like a deep whisper only meant for you.

"Mhm..!" You nod, "It's just, well.. I've never kissed anyone before, so.."

It would be a lie if Kokushibo said it didn't fill him with pride to know he was your first. He found his desire to have you growing by the minute — It was dangerous to feel this way, especially about you since you were already married to someone else.. But Kokushibo then realized that the legality of it didn't really apply to him, for he wasn't a human in the first place.

Why should he care? It wasn't as if you loved the man you were wed to, and you leaned into the kiss as well, so that must have meant you wanted him too.

"Did you enjoy it?" Kokushibo asks, completely unaware of how nervous he's making you feel.

"I, ah.. I did.." you say quietly, still not looking up at him.

The sound of a firework popping in the air broke the two of you out of your little bubble. After the firework show had stopped, Kokushibo did you the favor of returning you home, but not without a tight hug and a kiss that you yourself had requested of him.

After around the fifth month of you being married to Jinsei and seeing Kokushibo during the nights, you noticed that your husband was getting increasingly irritated with you. You refused to sleep with him and would rarely kiss him; You acted like a wife in all other aspects but when it came to having access to your body, Jinsei had none. You could understand him because it was normal for a husband to want his wife, but you were only his wife by title. Your heart belonged to another and your understanding of him would not change this fact.

It was honestly a miracle that you had managed to keep your relationship to Kokushibo under wraps for this long because when you were going to see Kokushibo again at the beginning of the night like you usually do.. Well, your husband wasn't exactly having it.

You took Jinsei's arm off of your stomach, like you usually did and waited for a moment before leaving the bed entirely. Just as you were turning the knob and pushing the door outward, the voice of your husband made chills run down your spine.

"_______."

Your eyes widen and you feel a cold shiver run all over your body; Starting in your stomach and spreading to the tips of your fingers and toes. ".. Jinsei?"

"What is it that you're doing?"

"I'm getting some air." You lied through your teeth as best as you could. It was logical and he shouldn't suspect anything.

"Is that right?"

"Yes, Jinsei." You said as you began walking out in the hopes that he'd leave it alone.

But arrogant rich men like him don't exactly like being left as if they were nothing more than an afterthought by their wives, now do they?

You close the door and pray he goes back to bed so you can see Kokushibo like you always do, but your husband pulls the door open and snakes his warm hands around your waist, laying his chin on the skin where your neck meets your shoulder. You freeze in place and feel that familiar twinge of anxiety well up in your stomach. You felt suffocated under his touch, like you couldn't breathe when he caged you in like this.

"What are you doing, Jinsei?"

"What, I can't hold my wife?" Its a rhetorical question. One he doesn't expect you to answer — and you don't. Instead, you freeze in his hold and his hands keep messing with the obi of your yukata. "I think.. it's about time we consummate our marriage, don't you think, my flower?"

Your blood runs cold in your veins. "J-Jinsei, We've talked about this.. I'm just-"

"-'Not ready yet'? Are you going to use that same excuse? Flower, I've upheld all of my vows and taken care of you and your family, don't you think you can do something for me, too?" His voice is playful but the situation is anything but.

You wanted your first time to be shared with someone you love.. why did none of your wishes ever matter to anyone?

Just when you were about to succumb to someone else's desires, yet again — Kokushibo appeared in front of you, his body in between the railing of the balcony and you. A glimmer of hope returned to your eyes upon seeing him, but fear quickly settled in. Not because of him, but because your husband would surely find out about Kokushibo and you.

"Wha-?! What the hell are you?!" Jinsei immediately pulled you behind him — no longer focused on his desire — and confronted the demon that loomed over him unwaveringly. Kokushibo paid your husband no mind and instead directed his gaze towards you. Jinsei stepped in front of you to get his attention. "Look at me, Not her!" Jinsei arrogantly confronts Kokushibo and you almost begin to feel a sort of fear for him. Yes, you disliked your husband immensely, but it wasn't as if you wanted him to suffer — especially not at the hands of your .. You couldn't even call him your friend because friends did not kiss you as passionately as Kokushibo did— Hell, friends didn't kiss at all!

But you couldn't worry about what Kokushibo was to you right now, your husband's life was in danger, you knew that much just from the expression Kokushibo wore. He wasn't angry, but you knew what his calm demeanor looked like — and it wasn't like that.

You yank on the sleeve his yukata, "Please, don't do anything rash — Let me handle it. Please."

"Stubborn woman, You can't possibly—!"

"I'm not talking to you." you say, brushing him to the side and stepping forward to put yourself in between Kokushibo and your husband. "Don't do anything, I'll.. I'll handle him and see you tomorrow night, okay?"

Your husband let out a low grunt and pulled you back against his body, his arms circling your waist and keeping your back pressed to his chest. "Just what the hell is going on? Do you know him?"

You squirm against him, "That's none of your—!"

"Release her." Kokushibo's deep tone sends shivers down your spine and you can tell it shakes your husband as well because his hands start to shake.

"Kokushibo, please." you plead, your frantic eyes meeting the two middle sets of his eyes. You notice his hand rests on the scabbard of his Katana, the click of the sword separating from its sheath terrifies you.

"I will not leave you with the likes of him."

"Then take me with you— but leave him breathing." You weren't sure then of the words you were saying, but you had just given Kokushibo your full permission to be selfish without even knowing it.

The click of Kokushibo's sword against the hilt of the sheath brought you relief, "Very well."

"Hey! Wait, you can't make that decision by yourself!" Jinsei reaches for your hand, desperate to get you back in his vicinity as he watches you walk towards the demon. "You're my wife!"

You were about to turn to respond to him; To tell him that he should just accept it, that he should forget about you. Yet as soon as you begin to turn your head, the sound of a sword unsheathing fills your ears and in a flash, your husband's hand comes clean off of his wrist. At the same time that blood spills from his wound, you're pulled back with a strong arm around your waist. Before you can even react, you're lifted off of your balcony.

Hot tears pricked your vision and a multitude of emotions washed over you as Kokushibo jumped from building to building. "What.. What did you do? Kokushibo, Why?!" You yelped, speaking through your tears. "I told you not to hurt him!"

"You told me to leave him breathing." Kokushibo responds, carrying your crying self away from the city and into the forest. Despite how distraught you were, you made no movements to get away from him — To him, that was already a victory in and of itself.

"That's—! You know what I meant! He's not like you, he can't regenerate limbs!" Your holding onto him tight as if you don't know that there isn't a way a hell he'd ever drop you. Kokushibo relishes the feeling of your physical dependence on him, but he doesn't let you know that.

"He should be grateful I only cut one of them."

"He won't be able to live like before! What'll happen to my parents if he decides to retaliate?! You can't just do this without thinking!"

"No harm shall come to your loved ones, I guarantee it."

"How do you know that?!"

"If he ceases to exist, he cannot inflict damage upon them." Your lips are slightly open and your eyes are widening. Right.. He was a demon. How could you have forgotten such an important detail? How could you have been so careless as to forget that you had made friends with a supernatural being who saw humans as nothing more than sustenance?

But.. Kokushibo had never been that way towards you, So why?

You said nothing more to him, deciding instead to hold onto him and hide your face in the fabric of his kimono. For some reason, its scent was comforting despite the situation you now found yourself in. All you could feel then was Kokushibo's strong hold on you and the wind that kissed your skin.

.

.

.

When you awoke, you were in a strange place.

It resembled the room you used to live in; With traditional shoji doors and tatami mats.. But something was off. The room was lit dimly with intricately crafted lanterns. You were tucked into a futon when you first awoke but after getting up, you were starting to get a weird feeling. You then remembered what had happened last night and looked around for Kokushibo to confront him about this place.

It was then that you noticed that he was sat in the middle of the floor with his back turned to you. You bit your bottom lip nervously and walked towards him, your footsteps cautious and quiet. You noticed his eyes were closed the more you moved closer to him, was he meditating?

".. Kokushibo?" Your voice was quiet and a little hoarse from the night before.

His eyes opened slowly and they drifted towards you, watching as you sat beside him. "Speak your mind."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you.. I know you just wanted to protect me." Your gaze was downcast and you failed to even look at him. More importantly, it seemed that you understood why he had done what he did during the night before. It was true, he wanted to protect you. He knew that your husband was about to manipulate your kind heart into giving him whatever he wanted that night. Kokushibo knew well how guilty you felt about being married to another man and yet still choosing to see him.

But it seemed that you severely underestimated the lengths he was willing to go through to make sure your heart belonged to him and him only. Your kindness and ability to give the benefit of the doubt to others was you downfall, but don't worry. He's here to protect you after all; You and your kind heart.

"..Are you upset with me?" you asked him meekly. You looked so vulnerable, sitting beside him so ashamed of your own reasonable anger at him. It was normal that you should feel concern, but here.. here, you were completely putting his feelings above your own.

"I could never be upset with you." Kokushibo said, his gaze softening slightly and laying his hand atop your head. It was then that you looked up, your gaze brighter now and a slight smile on your face.

"I'm glad to hear that, Koku." You then slip your arms around his middle and hold him close to you, as if you'd missed him or something of that sort. "I guess.. I don't have to worry about him finding out now.. I hope he can find someone else, someone who can genuinely love him."

Kokushibo admired your optimism.

You had no way of knowing that Kokushibo was the death that did the two of you part.

See, while legality did not apply to a demon like Kokushibo — he was still an old-fashioned man. There was no way he was going to let that sorry excuse for a husband walk free after the events of the night before. You didn't have to know that yet, though. For now, he'd receive your warm embrace like you were the only being that mattered.

He pulled you closer so that you sat in his lap which you did not protest. Cupping his jaw, you leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss. It was soft and slow; A kiss that he would engrave into his mind for years to come.

You pulled apart after a few minutes, smiling and breathless.

"Oh, I wanted to ask you — What is this place?" Your sight drifts to the room around you. "It's different.."

Kokushibo holds your chin in between his index finger and thumb.

"You need not worry about such things.. Just know that you are safe with me."