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Language:
English
Series:
Part 10 of After All This Time
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Published:
2013-03-21
Words:
610
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1/1
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7
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409
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After All This Time - Breaking the Fourth Wall Part III

Summary:

Darth Stitch's Bilbo, Thorin, Fili and Kili Muses react to the readers, yet again. And in the process, Bilbo may have inadvertently revealed some old family stories about his Took fairy ancestor and babies. And maybe Thorin might have inadvertently revealed that he and his nephews may be... dwobbits?

A "DVD Extra" to After All This Time - Old Loves and Faded Romances

Notes:

I'm sorry, I cracked again.

As I've said before, the Muses tend to take over my life on a regular basis. Welcome to my head, everyone.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

Er…. I’m not quite sure what you lot are all upset about, not to mention that comment about children.  There, there - I think it’s just about time for second breakfast.  A spot of tea should make you feel better. Speaking of children, I’ve always been rather fond of them, wished for little ones of my own.  One of my favorite stories is about my Took great-grandfather…. well, there are several more greats in there, but it would take forever to write … and his Fairy mate.  Those stories about fairy blood and the way it’s made us a bit… well… peculiar, I suppose you might call it…. they’re all true.  Though it probably would have been the scandal of the Shire, I often wished I did have children with my Smith…. er….. had a chance to have children.  Period.  Our children would have been beautiful. - Bilbo Baggins

Er…. I’m not quite sure what you lot are all upset about, not to mention that comment about children.  There, there - I think it’s just about time for second breakfast.  A spot of tea should make you feel better.

Speaking of children, I’ve always been rather fond of them, wished for little ones of my own.  One of my favorite stories is about my Took great-grandfather…. well, there are several more greats in there, but it would take forever to write … and his Fairy mate.  Those stories about fairy blood and the way it’s made us a bit… well… peculiar, I suppose you might call it…. they’re all true. 

Though it probably would have been the scandal of the Shire, I often wished I did have children with my Smith…. er….. had a chance to have children.  Period. 

Our children would have been beautiful.

- Bilbo Baggins

 

Tagged: bilbo baggins, bagginshield, mpreg, wait wait bilbo wtf are you talking about, omg r u srs, dwobbits, fili and kili are going to LOVE this, gandalf stahp blowing smoke rings shaped like storks and babies, oh god this is just going to ruin my life beyond saving, .

 

And naturally, the Readers on Tumblr react again.  But Fili and Kili are on the job!  

 

  1. majesticcarbuscus said: *sobbing lots of sobbing and arm flailing* why must you do this to us!!!!
  1. yarsian said: Oh god. Every time this little story updates I die inside and flail around for a bit. Love it.
    And get those two idiots together already! The anxiety is killing me, hope it’ll last!

 

We’re getting on it, don’t worry.

It’s just that Uncle Bilbo’s pretty good at being oblivious and Uncle Thorin’s a bit of a stubborn cuss…. but we’ll DO something!  Promise!

Did Uncle Bilbo say something about children?

Baby dwobbit cousins, Fee!  They’ll be adorable and sweet and those lucky little ones are going to be so very very spoiled….

Kee, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here…. and …. dwobbits?

Dwarf-hobbits!  I think it’s cute!

You have a point there, Kee.

- Fili and Kili

 

But then, Thorin suddenly puts in his own opinions on this and reveals Some Highly Interesting Family Stories:

 

 

I am not quite sure what you’d do with my sister-sons and though I love them dearly, they are a pair of mischievous rogues.  I’ve often felt that they probably would have fit right in amongst the Hobbits of the Shire and Bilbo has made much mention of his own rapscallion Took cousins.  They seem to be very much like my lads, for that is how I think of Fili and Kili, as I haven’t little ones of my own.  Nor will I ever have them, I should think.  I have oft wished that my beloved and I could have the ability to produce our own little ones.  If they were born with his curls and his eyes, I would call myself the most fortunate and richest of Dwarves. While this is not a tale that we share amongst outsiders, I am assured by the strange fuzzy blue creature who runs this so-called “Blanket Fort” that you are honorable and kindly folk.   With the way my nephews act and well, the fact that we of Durin’s Line do grow our beards late in life, I often find myself thinking about that old story of our forefather and his halfling or hobbit mate.  It would amuse Bilbo greatly to know that we may have some hobbit sensibilities of our own… - Thorin Oakenshield

I am not quite sure what you’d do with my sister-sons and though I love them dearly, they are a pair of mischievous rogues. 

I’ve often felt that they probably would have fit right in amongst the Hobbits of the Shire and Bilbo has made much mention of his own rapscallion Took cousins.  They seem to be very much like my lads, for that is how I think of Fili and Kili, as I haven’t little ones of my own.  Nor will I ever have them, I should think. 

I have oft wished that my beloved and I could have the ability to produce our own little ones.  If they were born with his curls and his eyes, I would call myself the most fortunate and richest of Dwarves.

While this is not a tale that we share amongst outsiders, I am assured by the strange fuzzy blue creature who runs this so-called “Blanket Fort” that you are honorable and kindly folk.   With the way my nephews act and well, the fact that we of Durin’s Line do grow our beards late in life, I often find myself thinking about that old story of our forefather and his halfling or hobbit mate. 

It would amuse Bilbo greatly to know that we may have some hobbit sensibilities of our own…

- Thorin Oakenshield

 

Tagged: thorin oakenshield, bagginshield, bilbo baggins, you realize that i just headcannoned the durins as dwobbits bwahahahahahaha, oh god what have i done, I CRACKED AGAIN, .

Notes:

You know, Thorin and Bilbo DID write down a little story about Durin and his Hobbit....

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