Work Text:
Noodle wears the mask for many reasons. A good tool has multiple uses and so does the mask. She can see through it, but no one can see through her.
Shortly after the crash, she did try to capitalize on her fame. But the comments were never about her music. It was always about her bandmates, her personal life, and some other questions that weren’t meant for someone her age.
Or anyone for that matter.
Noodle had to grow up and the world was only crueler because of it. She knew this and it hurt. She knew a lot of things. She’s made to know. She’s made to be so many things, but Noodle doesn’t even know if they’re things that she wants.
Noodle starts off with hobbies. Cooking, sewing, computer programming, and gardening. She works with metal and wood, dances until she gets blisters, and even does parachuting. Rarely does she feel satisfied.
It’s not that she hates these hobbies. It’s actually the opposite: These hobbies are some of her only reasons for getting up in the morning. It’s the rate she’s doing them at that makes her hate them. Within a day or two, she’s instantly good at them.
She goes to college. She gets a degree in psychology after two months. After another two months, she gets a degree in history. It’s genuinely satisfying: She’s always learning new things and the advancements keep her on her toes.
But Noodle is still isolated. People only partner with her because she was in Gorillaz. Some are respectful, but most are insistent. She leaves with twelve degrees and the empty feeling growing even more.
She knows she isn’t well. But despite all her intelligence, Noodle doesn’t know how to get better. She doesn’t always cry, but when she does, it’s impossible for her to get out of her state. On some days, she feels untouchable. On other days, she doesn’t want to get out of bed.
And she’s still just a child.
She tries to contact them when it gets bad. She knows their phone numbers have probably changed, but she tries.
They don’t respond. A couple days later, she sees their story on the news.
She misses them all, but she misses Russel the most. Murdoc was disorderly and 2D was irresponsible. Russel tried to keep her safe. Russel tried to raise her. He tried to make her feel normal.
Maybe it’s because of this that she tries to find them. Or maybe it’s because of her boredom. Either way, she boards the M. Harriet looking for something.
The fighting gives her a brief moment of excitement. When she passes out, she’s afraid, but still excited. She feels something. She doesn’t care what happens to her.
When she wakes up, she sees Russel.
And she feels happy.