Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When arriving at the village, the ruin was apparent. Although there did not appear to be any severely injured civilians, the area was in need of repair. Buildings were destroyed, roads were cracked, and rubble appeared to be in every inch of the area. 

“Well,” Amy spoke to herself, “I guess I found my next stop.”

✶✶✶

Although she had initially decided to bring Cream and Sticks alongside her for this trip, she inevitably decided to go about it alone. Being alone was an idea that had terrified her in the past, but seemed almost thrilling in the present. Also, she didn’t know what obstacles she would encounter on her journeys, and didn’t want to put the two, younger girls in any sort of danger.

When setting off on this trip, Amy had no idea what it would look like for her. She knew why she was taking this journey, but didn’t know how she was going to do it. However, even without a set plan in place, she stuffed all of her necessities into the trunk of her tiny, pink car, and prepared to hit the road.

She still remembered the morning before she had left. She did not want it to make a big deal of it, it wasn’t like she was never coming back. So she decided to just have Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles present for her departure, and to say her goodbyes in the days prior. After a sleepover with Cream and Sticks, a shopping spree with Rouge (who she had to beg to actually pay for her items instead of taking them), and attending another concert with Shadow (their 3rd of the year), she knew she was ready to go.

Although deciding to leave wasn’t too hard, actually leaving turned out to be more emotional than she had initially thought. Between Knuckles ruffling her hair, Tails’ eyes welling up with tears, and Sonic giving her the biggest hug she had ever received from him, Amy couldn’t stop from shedding a few tears herself.

“You’ll be safe?” Amy recalls Sonic saying, as he held her tight.

“I’ll be safe,” Amy affirmed.

“You’ll stay in touch?”

“Of course!”

“You won’t make cooler friends than us?”

Surprisingly, Amy was the one who broke the hug. Through tears, she grinned and said, “I mean I’ll try, but I am pretty spectacular.”

Sonic snorted at this and then, seemingly hesitant, removed his hands from around her body. 

“Sonic,” Knuckles rolled his eyes, “she’s leaving for a few months. You’re acting like she’s shipping off to war.”

“I mean,” Amy replied, “with our track record, it doesn’t feel like me getting caught in the middle of a war is completely out of the question.”

Knuckles scoffed and rolled his eyes, but a smirk was upon his face. 

Tails had walked up to Amy then, wiping the tears out of his eyes. “I installed an updated GPS in your car when changing the oil,” he said. “Not only did I fix the lagging issues of your last one, I also installed an additional ‘Danger Radar’. If there are any evil robots, battles, or dark energy in the area, that area will show up as red on the GPS.” Tails smiled, taking Amy’s hand. “I know your goal is to help people, so I’m sure you’re going to stop in as many red places as possible. However, you should know when it’s coming.”

Amy smiled, wrapping her arms around the shorter fox, who snuggled into her chest. “Thank you Tails,” Amy said, “this is going to be so helpful!”

Tails smiled, breaking away from the hug, and standing back next to his brother. 

“Well,” Amy started as she opened the driver’s side door, “I should probably hit the road.” 

She sat in her car, turning on the ignition. She turned down the radio, and rolled down her window. 

She grinned, tears starting to form once again. “I love you guys so much! I’ll see you later!”

All three boys waved as she drove off. For a moment, she could’ve sworn that she saw Sonic start to run down the road towards her car as it drove off. However, the moment was so fleeting, that it could have been wishful thinking. 

No matter, her resolve was set, and she was ready to spread her love to the world.

✶✶✶

Since then, Amy had visited countless villages in desperate need of repair. Although there was a lot to be said about the hero who saved the village, it was just as important to help to repair the damage caused. Whether it was rebuilding houses, reuniting families, or settling arguments between disputing villagers, Amy had done her best to ensure that she was doing all in her power to help others. After all, nothing had ever made her feel braver and more herself than helping another person in need.

She kept in touch with Sonic and the others. She would send postcards from the places she visited (if they had them), would send pictures of beautiful scenery and the rebuilt villages, and she would talk to Sonic on the phone at least once a week. 

The calls with him were brief at first, but became longer the deeper she was into her trip. Amy would talk about the latest villager drama and the progress of rebuilding the areas, and Sonic would talk about all the battles with Eggman he’d had that week. Of course, they would talk about more than that, but those were the main summaries of their calls together. 

Being away from Sonic was… novel. She missed him so much that she had initially found herself getting choked up when seeing a chili dog, a pair of red shoes, or, on a rougher day, just the wind blowing would be enough to remind her of him. As the trip went on, being away from Sonic was easier. Amy, as hard as it was to admit, even found the notion of not being around him or relying on him for so long, freeing even. 

Sonic did miss her. Not that he ever said so bluntly, but Tails would tell her. 

“I had to go into town yesterday to pick up some tools,” Tails had said on the phone to her one night, “and Sonic tagged along. I swear, literally everything he saw he related it to you somehow. ‘Wow, that dress looks like something Amy would wear!’ ‘The bakery has strawberry shortcake! Not my favorite, but I know Amy really enjoys it.’ ‘A ladybug! Those look like the ladybugs on Amy’s watering can.’”

Amy had giggled, blushing despite herself. “There is no way he said that last one,” she replied. 

“Scouts honor,” Tails had replied. “He misses you. Like, a lot. Even if he won’t say it.”

Although Amy missed Sonic with all of her heart, she was enjoying her new found independence. She had been able to help so many people, and as much as her heart yearned for the familiarity of home, she wasn’t ready to give that up just yet.

✶✶✶

The villagers looked shocked as Amy drove up to the village. Understandably, it seemed like they hadn’t had too many tourists lately. 

Although she felt a bit singled-out with all of the villagers coming out of different areas to watch her arrival, Amy tried to not feel intimidated. After parking, she stepped out of her car, smiled, and said, “Hi! My name is Amy. I’m here to help, if you need it.”

After a few weeks, significant progress had been made. Of course, it would take a long time to rebuild everything that had been lost, a decent amount of rubble had been cleared off the roads, and many roofs and doors of homes had been repaired. 

Amy had taken upon a sort of leadership role. Collaborating with the village’s leaders, she had been able to ensure an efficient and attentive rebuilding of the village. 

When speaking with the leaders of the village, she had discovered that the ruin was due to the presence of a dark spirit. This spirit had been haunting the village for ages now, ever since a few children decided it would be fun to chant a summoning curse. The spirit came and went as it pleased, always leaving ruin in its wake. However, this latest ambush had been the worst one yet. The spirit was growing stronger, the more power it took from its attacks. The leaders had decided to not give the spirit a name, since it felt like giving it a name would only give more recognition and power to it. However, Amy had heard children calling it, “The Drainer”. 

Although appreciation was communicated to Amy for her efforts in rebuilding the village, a certain apprehensiveness was apparent in the air. The villagers knew that the spirit would be back, and that this attack would be even more deadly. There was a chance that all of their rebuilding would be for naught. 

Amy knew that she would see this to the end, whatever the cost. 

“Could you get me the plans for the rebuilding of the main road, please?” Amy asked one of the citizens. 

The citizen nodded. “The committee is still working on it, but I should have it for you by tomorrow,” he replied.

Amy smiled. “Perfect, thank you!” she replied. “Let me know if you guys need any help.”

“Your usual, Miss Amy.” A bear by the name of Cole said, while smiling. He handed her a strawberry milk latte. 

“I really appreciate it, Cole,” Amy said, “but you really don’t have to bring me coffee everyday! Also, you can drop the ‘Miss’! Amy is just fine.”

Cole held out the drink, insistent that she take it. “It really is no issue M– Amy,” Cole replied, stopping himself from the formality. “Ever since you helped repair our coffee shop, we’ve been back in business. Please take it, it’s the least I can do.”

Amy sighed, but smiled, taking the latte from him. “Thank you, Cole,” Amy said, “but you really have to start letting me pay you.”

“Not a chance,” Cole replied, winking. “Having an excuse to see you once a day is enough of a payment for me.”

Amy laughed, brushing off the compliment. “You really don’t have to flatter me, Cole.”

Cole, not missing a beat, replied, “I don’t have to, I want to. There is a difference.” He smiled, waving as he walked back towards his shop.  

Amy waved back. Looking at the coffee cup, a little note was written:

Seeing you always brightens my day. ♡

Although this wasn’t the first note that Cole had written on her coffee cup, he still never failed to make her turn red. The brief moment of bashfulness was then replaced by a feeling of self-consciousness. She did not want anybody to feel like they were obligated to say kind things about her, just because she was helping them. After all, nothing made her feel useful than the ability to help others. 

✶✶✶

It had been a long day. Amy wanted nothing more than to get into her pajamas, curl up into the bed of her hotel room (one of the latest establishments that had been rebuilt), and have her weekly phone call with Sonic. Surprisingly, he was usually very prompt with their calls, always calling at exactly 8:00. 

As she got ready to change, she heard a knock at the door. 

Opening the door, she was greeted by none other than Cole.

“Hey Cole!” Amy said, surprised but not unhappy to see him. “It’s a little late for a coffee you know…”

Cole laughed. “I’m aware,” he replied, “that’s why we close at 6:00.”

Amy giggled. “What can I do for you then?” she inquired. 

Cole, looking a bit sheepish, asked, “Do you mind if I come in?”

“Of course!” Amy said, stepping aside so he could walk into the room. “Sorry it’s a little messy, I promise I’m usually cleaner than this! It’s just been so busy lately. But you should see my house, absolutely spotless!”

Cole smiled, replying, “After all you have done for us lately, I think I can forgive a few dirty dishes in the sink.”

Amy laughed, pulling out a chair and gesturing for him to sit down. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No thank you,” Cole replied kindly. “I won’t be long, I know how tired you must be.”

“It’s not a problem!” Amy said, sitting across from him at the table. “What’s on your mind?”

Cole took a deep breath, placing his arms on the table and leaning forward. “I know I haven’t been exactly subtle with my admiration towards you, so this likely won’t come as a surprise.”

Amy cocked her head to the side, looking upon him in confusion. “Could you elaborate?” she asked.

Cole looked up from the table and at her face. “Well,” he started, “I know you’ve only been here for a little bit, but I have really grown to admire you. You’re so smart, kind, and radiant. I have never met someone as incredible as you.”

Amy, starting to feel discomfort with all of these compliments, decided to stay quiet and allow him to finish his thoughts.

“I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together,” Cole continued, “but I think– no, I know I’ve developed feelings for you. I know there aren’t too many places I could take you, but I’d love to take you on a date to get to know you better.”

“A date?!” Amy replied, genuinely taken aback. “I don’t… why?”

Now it was Cole’s turn to look confused, as he furrowed his brows. “I just… told you why?”

“Cole,” Amy started, feeling like she was stumbling over her words, “I– you… you don’t have to say all these nice things to me just because I helped rebuild your coffee shop!”

Cole leaned forward, looking even more confused. “Amy, I’m not just saying these things because you helped rebuild our coffee shop… I’m saying these things because I li—”

“You don’t have to take me on a date just because I helped you!” Amy unintentionally interrupted, “That’s why I’m here, to help! It’s okay!”

“What’s okay?” Cole asked, starting to become visibly frustrated. “Amy, I like you. I want to take you out on a date. If you don’t want to, it’s okay. But I promise, I’m not just saying this because you’ve helped us.”

Amy was stunned. She had no idea why she was taking this so hard. Sure, this was the first time a boy had ever communicated an interest in her, but it’s not like she was a stranger to romance.

“I–” Amy started, still feeling at a loss for words. “Can I have some time to think about it?”

“Of course,” Cole replied, the frustration fading from his face. “I did spring this on you after a long day. Take as much time as you need.”

Cole stood up, walking closer to Amy. “Is it alright if I hug you?” Cole asked.

Amy nodded, letting Cole wrap her up in an embrace. She clasped her hands together and brought them to his chest during the hug. Almost immediately, a memory of the hug Sonic had given her before she had left popped into her mind.

“Oh boy…”, she thought.

Cole pulled back from the head, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. “Sleep tight, Amy.”

“Good night, Cole,” Amy replied, a meek smile making its way across her mouth as she walked him out and closed the door behind him. 

The moment she locked the door, she slid down and put her head on her knees. The first time a boy had ever confessed to her… and it had been one of the most unpleasant experiences of her life. 

Not because of Cole. Cole was kind, thoughtful, funny, and handsome. There was nothing inherently wrong with him. It was her. Something was wrong with her. A lot was wrong with her.

Crawling to bed, her phone vibrated and lit up. “Sonic”, the caller ID read.

Amy declined the call. She was too bewildered to speak with him right now. Plus, he’s the last person she should talk to on this subject, considering their past. After putting on her pajamas, she settled into bed, putting the covers over her face and praying for the bed to swallow her whole. After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, she fell into a fitful sleep.

✶✶✶

A light knock at the door woke her up. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she walked to the door. When opening it, she wasn’t greeted by a person, but a strawberry milk latte and a note. 

Immediately knowing who it was from, Amy’s breath hitched. She picked up the latte and note, closing the door behind her. She placed both items on the table. Then, she opened the note.

Amy,

I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable last night. It was not my intention. I would still love to take you out on a date, only if you’d like to of course.

I hope you have a lovely day, and to hear from you soon.

Love,

Cole

Somehow, the well-meaning note only made her feel worse about her reaction last night. 

“What is wrong with me?” Amy thought.

On her bedside table, her phone lit up and vibrated. Walking over to it, the caller ID, once again, showed, “Sonic”. Sending a silent apology into the universe for him, she declined the call. Truthfully, she didn’t really feel like talking to anyone right now. 

However, not talking to anyone wasn’t an option, not while this village still needed support and help rebuilding. Amy sat at the room’s small dining table, drinking her latte and dreading to start her day. 

✶✶✶

Upon arrival at the site where citizens were working on rebuilding the local library, Amy already felt disconcerted. She felt like she couldn’t comprehend anything the citizens were saying to or asking of her, and could barely focus on delegating tasks. 

If anyone noticed her strange demeanor, they didn’t comment on it. However, she did get a few befuddled glances sent her way. Were they actually sent her way, or was she projecting her insecurities? Amy couldn’t find it in herself to care. 

“Hey, Amy,” an older cat by the name of ‘Gilbert’ started, “why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”

Amy looked up from the construction plans, startled. “I can’t just take off,” she protested, “there’s so much to do!”

“You’ve been helping everyday since you got here two months ago,” Gilbert kindly insisted. “Take a break, we’ve got it from here.”

Amy thought he was kind to not comment on the bags underneath her eyes, the frazzledness of her hair, and her anxious demeanor. She also didn’t have the energy to argue. A break did sound nice.

“Are you sure?” Amy inquired, not wanting to leave the villagers in a lurch.

“It’s one day,” Gilbert replied, gently placing a hand upon her shoulder. “We’re good, go get some rest!”

Amy tiredly smiled, grabbing her things and waving goodbye to the workers.

When arriving back at her hotel room, Amy had every intention of falling back asleep. Just like the previous night however, she tossed and turned and couldn’t get comfortable. 

As she laid on her back, staring at the spinning ceiling fan, she knew she couldn’t keep this dilemma to herself any longer. She knew who to call.

As she scrolled through the contacts on her phone, she gently bit on the tip of her thumb in apprehension. Finally, she found who she was looking for. Pressing on the contact, she pressed the call button. 

Amy then put the phone on speaker, placing it on her bed, and sitting up with her knees to her chest. She rocked back and forth to soothe her anxiety.

“Hello?” a smooth voice relayed from the other end of the line.

“Hey,” Amy started. “Sorry it’s been a while since we’ve talked, but I really need your advice.”

“No problem at all, sweetie,” Rouge replied, “what’s going on?”

“Well–” Amy began, but then heard some commotion in the background on the other line. 

“Are you seriously taking a phone call right now?!” She heard, “You’ve been incarcerated for shoplifting!”

“Calm your tits,” she heard Rouge snap back, “I’m helping a friend through a crisis. You can keep driving, nosy.”

“How did you even get your phone back?!”, she heard the police officer yell back.

“Rouge!” Amy exclaimed, placing a balled up fist against her mouth to prevent laughter from escaping. “You got arrested and you picked up the phone!?”

“Amy,” Rouge replied nonchalantly, “I’m in the back of a mall cop car. It’s not like he’s a real cop.”

“I can hear you!” Amy heard the cop exclaim.

“I’m happy for you,” Amy heard Rouge reply. She could hear the smirk in her voice.

“Forget it,” Amy sighed, “call me back when you’re not getting arrested, please.”

Rouge groaned. “Hold on,” she said. Then Amy heard the sounds of glass breaking, tires screeching, and a lot of profanity. 

Less than a minute later, Rouge spoke again. “Ok, that’s taken care of. What’s up?”

Amy let out an exasperated sigh, although grateful that she could talk. “You know what, I don’t even want to know what just transpired.”

Rouge chucked, replying “Your loss, sweetie. However, you didn’t hang up, even with all the commotion. This must be important.”

Amy sighed. “In the grand scheme of things, this is not a big deal. But I’m making a big deal about it, and I can’t understand why.”

Rouge was silent on the other line, waiting for her to continue.

“There’s this boy in the village,” Amy began, “and he’s very sweet. He always brings me free coffee, writes little notes on the coffee–”

“What kind of notes?” Rouge asked.

Amy replied, “Things like, ‘you looked really cute today’ and ‘you were so sweet reading to those children’, sweet notes like that.” Thinking upon it now, Amy felt a bit oblivious with her unawareness of the boy’s feelings towards her.

“Okay,” Rouge replied, “so he has common sense. What else happened?”

“Well,” Amy said, starting to play with the hem of her dress to soothe her nerves, “last night, he came to my hotel room and asked me on a date.”

“Uh huh,” Rouge acknowledged, not sounding surprised in the slightest. “You don’t sound too thrilled, do you not like him?”

“I’m not sure what it is,” Amy said, “he’s sweet enough, cute enough, funny enough… but when he started saying these sweet things about why he liked me, I started to panic.”

“Panic how?” Rouge asked.

“Like I started accusing him of only saying these things because I helped him rebuild the coffee shop he works at,” Amy replied, cringing as she replayed the scene in her head. “I didn’t even give myself a chance to believe what he was saying, or take it seriously.”

“Hmm,” Rouge replied. “Is this because of Sonic? Do you feel guilty about another guy showing you affection because you’re holding out hope to be in a relationship with him?”

“I’m not sure,” Amy answered. “Maybe?”

“I feel like you’d be more sure if that was the sole reason,” Rouge stated.

“Exactly!” Amy agreed. “This is why I called you, I knew you’d be up-front with me.” 

“Always,” Rouge said. “Do you want to hear my theory?”

“Please,” Amy begged.

“Could it be,” Rouge started, a bit carefully, “that it’s hard for you to accept the fact that somebody sees you in a positive light, especially romantically, because of how you’ve been treated in the past by a certain blue hedgehog?”

Amy paused. “Could you elaborate?” 

“I see it like this,” Rouge responded, “you spent so long pursuing a romantic relationship with Sonic, only to be pushed away each time. Not only that, but being left behind on mission after mission, after being told you would just ‘get in the way’. I feel like as a way to cope, you started to distance yourself from the possibility of romance with him, in order to be taken more seriously. Now, because romance has become associated with negativity, you can’t associate it with positivity, or take it seriously when someone sees you in that light.”

Amy felt the tears start to well up in her eyes. Although this wasn’t an entirely shocking revelation, it was definitely hard to hear. She had tried to frame her changes in a positive manner, telling herself she was “growing up”; in some ways, she was growing up. However, having to contain her excitement and mask her feelings was a lot harder than she acknowledged.

Rouge sighed. “I’m sorry sweetie,” she said, “I really didn’t mean to make you upset. I honestly may be super far off the mark.”

“No,” Amy replied, starting to wipe the tears from her eyes, “don’t apologize. This is why I called you. I knew you’d tell me what I needed to hear.” 

“I still see you, you know,” Rouge said. “When you start to get competitive when playing card games, when you start to giggle and bounce in your seat when talking about Sonic’s latest battle with Eggman, and when you tell off the occasional Karen at the mall. That fiery, passionate Amy is still in there, and she is just as lovable as the more subdued, patient, and kind version of yourself. You both exist, you just are struggling to combine them. Especially around the person who has made you feel worthless in the past.”

Amy nodded. “Thank you for this, Rouge. You’re such an amazing friend. I love you so much.”

“I love you sweetie,” Rouge replied. “I’m going to go now, because I feel like you have a lot to process. However, if you need me to stay on the line longer, I totally can.”

Amy smiled, sniffling a bit. “I’m okay, Rouge, I appreciate the offer, though.”

“Okay,” Rouge answered. “I’ll talk to you later then. If you need anything, call me, okay? I promise I’ll try not to be in the back of a mall cop car next time.”

Amy giggled. “The key word being ‘try’.”

“Exactly,” Rouge replied. Amy could hear the smirk in her tone. “Talk to you later, Amy.”

“Bye Rouge,” Amy said, pressing the “end call” button on her phone.

Wanting to completely disappear from the world, Amy placed her phone on her bedside table and curled into the covers of the bed. Her breath hitched, as she now felt more comfortable to cry. Not trying to suppress the tears anymore, she allowed them to fall down her face, gently wiping her face on the top sheet.

After what felt like only two minutes of crying (it was likely closer to ten), Amy heard her phone buzz. Thoughtlessly, Amy poked her head out from under the covers and tapped the home screen to check her notifications. 

“just checking to make sure ur ok! 👍” a text from Sonic read. 

Amy wanted to throw her phone across the room. A simple, well-meaning message was so infuriating to her at the moment. Amy took a deep breath, putting her phone back on the bedside table. She decided to respond when she was in a better state of mind.

Amy closed her eyes, taking deep breaths as she tried to regulate her emotions and think objectively. Logically, she knew that Sonic returning her feelings or showing any romantic interest in her would not solve all of her problems. The situation with Cole was proof enough of that. A while ago, she had decided that it was better to have Sonic in her life in any form, even if not romantically. Although she had not completely disregarded her romantic feelings for him, she hadn’t exactly been forthright with them either. 

Although nobody had told her outright, she had felt like she had become “too much” for everyone. She knew that sometimes she could be loud, and often wasn’t aware of how much so until she saw the grimaces on people’s faces. She could be overenthusiastic, not knowing that she was being so until others would tell her to “calm down”. She could also definitely be clingy and desire too much physical affection from others, which she finally started to understand when others, mainly Sonic, would stiffen whenever she would hug them or hang on their arms.

As she became more self-aware of her faults, she became more self-conscious and apprehensive of the idea of people pushing her away, and ending up alone as a result. Subconsciously, she decided to do whatever it took to make sure that didn’t happen.

So she made sure not to overtalk, not to speak too loudly or abrasively, to keep hugs very brief and gentle. After she made those changes, her dynamic with her friends started to change, especially her dynamic with Sonic. He started opening up to her, spending time with her one-on-one outside of missions, even giving her a few hugs every now and then. 

It was almost everything she had always wanted from him. As much as she adored Sonic, she always felt that her biggest wish was for him to treat her as an equal, even if that meant only being friends. 

But… was it really the healthiest dynamic if she felt like she had to hide parts of who she was in front of him?

Although Amy had grown out of chasing Sonic, she had not fallen out of love with him. In fact, she only became more and more in love with him everyday she spent with him. He was radiant, such a force to be reckoned with. She would likely always be smitten with him. 

Whenever she got a rush of affection for Sonic, she immediately wanted to tell him. To tell him how much he meant to her, how much he had changed her life, how proud she was of the incredible person he was becoming. However, she would always worry that this would be too similar to the more “immature” version of herself. So she just… didn’t.

Her eyes started to grow heavy, as she started to imagine a world where she could spread her love to the one person she felt the most of it for. Finally, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

✶✶✶

The buzzing of her phone woke her up. She really needs to start turning it off when she sleeps.

When grabbing the phone, the first thing Amy noticed was the time. She had slept for 4 hours?! Good lord. 

The second thing she noticed were five new text messages, and two missed calls.

From Sonic: hey againnn, ur alive right? i don’t love this radio silence thing, so pls text me or call meee 

From Tails: Hi Amy! I miss you, and hope you’re doing well! I know you’d let us know if there was trouble, but Sonic is kind of freaking out and convinced that you’re in a dungeon somewhere. Just reach out to him when you have a chance, okay? Oh, and let’s catch up soon!

From Rouge: hey sweetie, just checking on you- i know our convo wasn’t the easiest, and i wanted to make sure you’re ok <3  also, sonic called asking if i’d talked to u- i said no, b/c i didn’t want to go into details. whenever ur ready, u should prob let him know ur alive

From Shadow: Explain to me why Sonic is asking if I’ve heard from you. Please reach out to him so he can leave me alone. Also, I am waiting to listen to the new Taylor Swift album until you return. Don’t be too long.

From Sonic (again): amesssss where r u? :((

The two missed calls were from none other than Sonic. 

Almost immediately after checking her missed calls, her phone started to vibrate once again. A certain blue hedgehog was on the caller ID photo. She had taken this photo the last time they had gone on an adventure together, just the two of them. They had gotten lost inside of a cave, looking for a chaos emerald. As a way to stay warm, Sonic had tried to start a fire by running around a pile of sticks. The picture she had taken was of him side-eyeing the camera as he had failed for the fifth consecutive time. Amy had never laughed as hard as she did that day.

Amy sighed. She really didn’t want to talk to him. 

She also wanted to talk to him more than anything.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she hit the green button to answer the call. “Hello?” she said.

“Amy!” She heard from the other line. It was so good, yet so frustrating to hear his voice. “I was so worried about you! Why did you ghost me?”

Amy found a small smile making its way across her mouth, despite herself. “I missed your calls yesterday and today, Sonic,” she said. “That’s not how ghosting works.”

“Okay whatever,” Sonic brushed off the statement. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Amy answered, “I’ve just had a lot going in the past 48 hours.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Sonic asked, his tone sounding a bit more concerned. 

“Yes… and probably not,” Amy replied. What does that even mean?

“Ooo-kay?” Sonic said, sounding confused. 

“I’m just…” Amy started, feeling the words come out of her outside her own accord, “I’m… really mad at you.”

“You’re mad at me?” Sonic inquired, sounding even more confused. “Whatever I did, I’m really sorry. How can I make it better?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Amy responded, feeling a burning in her chest as she sat up straighter in her bed to project her words. “It’s not anything specific that you said or did recently. It’s how I feel like… you have just now started to take me seriously, to treat me as an equal, to really be my friend. Even with all of these positive changes in our dynamic, I still can’t seem to feel any better about myself.”

“Amy, I’ve always taken you seriously–”  Sonic started to protest.

“Sonic,” Amy interrupted, “I’m sorry, but I really need to get this out, or I’m going to lose my nerve completely. Please let me talk right now.”

Sonic did not respond, and she took his silence as a signal to carry on.

“The way I perceive myself is not your responsibility,” Amy continued, “but the way that you treated me in the past has played such a role in my self-confidence. I had to work so hard to just be tolerated by all of you, to be seen as more than a damsel-in-distress-fangirl hybrid. I always feel on edge whenever I’m around people, especially you. Like if I start to get too excited or start to ramble, I’m just going to go back to feeling worthless.”

“And it’s not fair,” Amy started to get choked up. “It’s not fair that you’re always telling others to be themselves, to not care what others think; but in order for you to even start treating me as more than an annoying acquaintance, I had to tone down myself to the point where I am overthinking and overanalyzing everything I say and do.”

“It’s gotten to the point where I can’t accept anyone saying anything kind about me, especially in a romantic context. A perfectly nice guy asks me out on a date, and instead of accepting or turning him down or something, I just tell him that he shouldn’t be saying these things about me. Because, deep down, I feel like they aren’t true. I don’t think I can process the idea of anybody thinking of me in a kind and romantic way, especially when I’m not trying my hardest to de-emphasize myself.” 

“And I’m sorry because I know this is out of nowhere and it may not even be fair,” she started to ramble, “but I’m so mad at you. I’m so mad at you, Sonic…” 

She couldn’t feel this way anymore.

“And… I need to not talk to you for a bit. Until I can figure out a way to not be mad at you anymore.” 

There was a long pause. A part of Amy wished that this conversation was happening in person, so that she could see the look on Sonic’s face, so she could try to guess what he was thinking or feeling. The other part of her was glad for the barrier of the phone, being too afraid to see his face. If he was simply rolling his eyes or cringing at her hurried words, she would absolutely have broken down in front of him.

Taking a deep, unsteady breath, Amy said, “I’m sorry Sonic. I’m so sorry. I just can’t– I’ll talk to you later.”

Summoning all of the courage she had, she pressed the “end call” button. 

Throwing her phone onto her bed, Amy screamed into her pillow out of frustration, anger, and heartbreak. Her sobs were now loud and cacophonous. The walls of the hotel weren’t the thickest, and she wouldn’t be surprised if she could be heard from the next room over. However, she didn’t care. 

After calming herself down, she found the courage to check her phone. There was a text from Sonic.

 i’m so sorry amy. i will give you space. whenever you’re ready, i’m here.  

Amy started to reply without even thinking, but stopped herself. Even though she said it in a moment of heightened emotions, she did feel that space from Sonic was the best course of action right now. Until she could get her thoughts together. 

Without even thinking, Amy got out of bed, putting on her shoes and grabbing her purse. With a newfound resolve, she walked out the door of her hotel room, locking the door behind her.

Chapter Text

When she arrived at the coffee shop, it had been closed for about an hour. However, she did know that occasionally Cole would stay a bit later to check the inventory. To her luck, that’s exactly what he was doing.

She gently knocked on the window. Cole looked initially startled, but then a smile appeared on his face upon seeing her. He opened the door, the bell at the top of the doorway jingling.

“Amy!” Cole started, “I noticed you weren’t at the construction site today and was worried about you! Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Amy replied, “I took a bit of a mental health day.”

“I see,” he said, nodding in approval. “Well, if anyone deserves one, it’s you.”

There it was. A simple, well-meaning compliment that made her bow her head to avoid eye contact. 

“Did you want to come in?” he asked, started to step to the side of the doorway, “I’m about to finish up so–”

“That’s okay,” Amy replied, feeling guilty about cutting him off, but needing to get this interaction over with, “I won’t be long.”

“Oh!” he looked a bit disheartened. “No problem at all. What’s going on?”

She took a deep breath, trying to keep her words as intricate and steady as possible. “I wanted to thank you for your confession, and apologize for my reaction. It had nothing to do with you, it was just a bit… novel for me to have somebody be so upfront with their romantic tendencies towards me.”

He gave her a small smile, looking like he wanted to interject, but allowing her to continue. 

“However,” she continued, “I can’t return your feelings. I’m so sorry. I am not really in a place to have romance in my life right now. You’re an incredible person, I just really need to put some space between myself and romantic love for a bit.”

Cole nodded, but the disappointment was apparent in his demeanor. “I understand, Amy,” Cole responded. “I appreciate you being up front with me. I hope that this was not an uncomfortable situation for you, and that we can still be friends.”

“Of course we can!” she exclaimed, relieved. “Oh, I’m so glad you still want to be my friend! Thank you, Cole. I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” he replied while giving her a slight smile. “I really do appreciate your honesty. Listen.. I had to try, right?”

Amy gave a weak smile in return. “I should go,” she said. “Have a good night, Cole.”

“You too, Amy,” he said, giving her a small wave as she walked out of the shop. 

As she walked away, she felt guilt. Rejection is always unpleasant; she has been on the other end too many times to count. The fact that she had made someone else feel that way was a bit daunting to her. On the other hand, she felt that she had been kind, but direct with him. She didn’t feel the need to tell him there was somebody else, since she did feel like it was relevant. She was honest that she didn’t want to be romantically involved with him, and didn’t lead him on or give him false hope.

Although their situations were very different, she did feel that she had given him a kinder reply than what she had been given in the past. 

Not wanting to go back to the hotel room just yet, Amy decided to visit a small field of flowers that she had found, just a bit outside of town. It had become a bit of a safe haven for her, if she wanted to be alone with nature and her thoughts. Although that sounded terrifying at the moment, it also sounded a bit gratifying. 

She sat and stared at the stars. Although Cole had obviously been upset with her refusal, she did appreciate his kindness about the situation. If the roles were reversed, she wasn’t sure she would’ve been as patient as he had been. 

Or would she have been? There were a lot of things about herself that she didn’t quite understand. 

Letting her thoughts trail away from Cole to her phone conversation with Sonic, she placed her head in her hands. It hadn’t been fair of her to talk at him, instead of letting him get a word in. She didn’t let him defend himself on any of her accusations, and just threw years of repressed emotions at him. She knew, deep down, that he never meant to hurt her. He was young, just like she was.

Selfishly, it had been cathartic though. Finally being able to express just how discontented she felt about the past, and how confused she was about her place in the present. Every urge in her body wanted to call Sonic to apologize, but she was afraid of having another emotional outburst. So, for now, she would leave it alone.

Amy knew she had a lot of soul-searching to do. While spreading her love with the world, she hadn’t left a lot towards herself. She needed to refind herself, so that she could get some of her confidence back. She hadn’t realized how long it had been gone for. 

Standing up from her spot on the hill, Amy looked up at the stars one more time. She promised herself that, even if it pushed people away, she would try to be as true to herself as possible. That was the only way she could truly be happy.

Even if it meant Sonic wanted nothing to do with her anymore. She had to come to peace with that.

With a new found resolve, she walked back to her hotel. She didn’t know if she was ready to face the consequences of tomorrow, but she was ready to sleep.

✶✶✶

Thankfully, waking up and facing the world wasn’t as daunting as Amy had anticipated. If the villagers had seen her emotionally heightened state yesterday, they did not comment on it or treat her any differently. She was greeted with the same kind smiles and willingness to help.

Like any other morning, Cole brought her a strawberry milk latte. There was no note this time, and the interaction was a bit shortened and awkward. This made Amy sad, but it was also understandable. No one likes being rejected, even if it is in a well-meaning manner.

Although refocusing on helping the villagers, she didn’t want to break her promise of finding a way to love herself once again. To assist with this, she bought (well more like she took, the store owner wouldn’t take a single ring from her) a journal to write down her thoughts. It was pretty disorganized right now, but she was okay with that. 

She started gathering the children of the village and telling them stories of her adventures, doing her best to not contain her enthusiasm while relaying them. They seemed to enjoy the stories, constantly asking her when she would tell them more. Amy smiled to herself. It was definitely less daunting to express her excitement to children than it was to others, but it was a start.

She had made friends with a few of the other villagers. They started to go out for dinner every other day. Even though she had known them briefly, she felt such a rush of affection for them. Instead of stopping herself from initiating physical affection with them, she started asking if she could hug them. Not that there would be anything wrong with it if they said no, but it was always liberating when they agreed. They gave her a nickname, “cuddlehog”.

A few times, she found herself letting her guard down and accidentally talking too loud. When she would see the grimaces on her friends' faces, she would immediately apologize. A lot of the time they would laugh and tell her that they were glad she was so excited. 

The feeling of self-shame whenever she would unmask was becoming easier to manage. She started to give herself daily affirmations when she looked in the mirror:

It’s okay to be excited.

It’s okay to love.

It’s okay to be yourself.

Sometimes these would help, other times she would want to tell herself to shut up. 

Things were going well enough, though. She missed Sonic with every fiber of her being, and thought of him constantly. She wondered if he thought of her too, if he was upset with her, if he missed her as much as she missed him. She tried to not linger on this too much, but it was easier said than done.

She would send occasional texts to her friends at home, but was really trying to focus a lot on herself. She spoke to Rouge, Cream, and Sticks the most. She texted with Tails semi-regularly, but knew there was a bit of unspoken awkwardness, considering she wasn’t speaking with his older brother at the moment. 

Everything was going well, until it wasn’t.

✶✶✶

When emerging from the flower shop that had been on her agenda to remodel, she heard screaming. Turning her head towards the north of the town, she saw people running in the opposite direction.

Looking up at the sky to see what the commotion was, Amy realized that this had been the dark spirit that had been haunting the village all these years. 

Amy took a deep breath, running towards the danger instead of away from it. During her spare time, she had also been doing some research into this spirit. Even though she had no idea how to rid the spirit entirely, she knew how to weaken it. 

“Run, get underground!” she yelled as she passed by citizens. Cole was running by, and grabbed her by the arm.

“What are you doing?!” He exclaimed, starting to pull her behind him, “Get under cover!”

“Cole,” Amy responded, gently pulling her arm out of his grasp, “I have to try to stop it! I know what I’m doing.”

“That thing could kill you! Don’t you understand?” Cole responded, not in an angry tone, but in an anxious one. 

“I do,” Amy affirmed, gently smiling. “But I have to try. Get under cover. I’ll see you soon!” She ran away, waving behind her.

Refocusing on the danger at hand, she heard her phone buzzing. Without thinking, she took it out of her pocket and saw that it was a call from Tails. 

Knowing he wouldn’t call without texting first if there wasn’t a good reason, she picked up the phone. “Tails, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“Yes,” Tails affirmed. “It looks like there’s a lot of dark energy in the area you’re in. A spirit?”

“Uh huh,” Amy replied, starting to get distracted while helping to point villagers in the right direction towards safety. “Do you have any tips for me?”

“According to my radar,” Tails started, “it looks like the weakest point is where its heart would be, on the left side of its chest. If you can attack that pinpoint, that should weaken it, giving you enough time to vanish it back to its realm. Do you have a book with the chant?”

“In my hotel room,” Amy answered. “As soon as I’m able to get as many villagers to safety as possible, I’m going to make a run for it.”

“Do you need any backup?” Tails asked, “I probably wouldn’t be able to get there in time with the tornado, but Soni–”

“I’ve got this, Tails,” Amy interrupted, not unkindly, “but I really appreciate it.”

“Okay,” Tails replied, “good luck, Amy. Keep me posted whenever you have time.”

Amy ended the call, continuing to direct as many villagers as possible to the underground tunnels. If she could weaken the spirit as soon as possible, she could prevent the spirit from reaching the villagers underground. 

Once she couldn’t see any straggling citizens, she made a run for her hotel room. The spirit started to project scorching energy towards her, nearly knocking her off her feet. Luckily, Amy was able to dodge it, jumping and flipping over falling buildings to make her way back to the hotel. 

Luckily, the hotel was fairly undamaged. It looked like the spirit hadn’t gone too deep into town. Amy sprinted inside, hurrying up the steps to get to her room. Unlocking the door, she dove under her bed. Hurriedly patting around, she located her bag that had some salted bombs (crafted expertly by the local scientist), a protective talisman, and the book with the spell those unknowing children had used to summon the spirit all those years ago. 

Throwing the bag across herself, she ran to the window. The spirit projected more energy beams towards her, and she jumped away. Running to the opposite window of the room, she jumped out, landing on the ground on her feet. She knew that in order to reach the spirit’s “heart”, she would have to get as high off the ground as possible. The village’s clock tower seemed like the best spot. However, she knew that she would need to weaken it before she could get even close. 

Amy climbed on top of one of the food stands, reaching into her bag and grabbing one of the bombs. She threw the bomb up in the air, using her hammer to propel it towards the spirit. It hit it, the spirit letting out an ear-screeching shriek. 

Amy continued to approach closer to the clock tower, jumping across the roofs of buildings, and hurling salt bombs at the spirit with every opportunity. Although the spirit seemed to be damaged by the salt bombs, she didn’t feel that it was weakening it significantly. At this point, she started to panic, running low on the bombs. She knew that the spirit wasn’t weak enough to send back to its realm, not yet. She also knew that she couldn’t just hit the spirit with her hammer either. 

Getting distracted and too deep in thought, she missed a blowing strike from the spirit, which sent her tumbling down to the ground. Amy took a deep breath, rubbing the back of her head and standing once again. She looked in her bag. One salt bomb left. She would need to save it for when she reached the top. 

At this point, she knew her best bet was to dodge the spirit’s attacks, until she could get to the clock tower. She started to run away once again, using window sills of buildings to reach the top once again. However, she was knocked down again by the spirit. 

Her adrenaline and resolve to save the villagers turned into fear. How could she go against a spirit? This wasn’t one of Eggman’s robots they were talking about. However, Amy knew that if she harped on this for too long, she would lose her chance to save the people. It seemed like this spirit thrived on chaos and enjoyed the feeling of knocking the buildings down. Her best strategy while reaching the clock tower was to bait the spirit into attacking her while standing on a building, and then jumping off at the last minute when it was knocked down.

This worked for the first couple of times, but the spirit was a lot smarter than Amy anticipated. After knocking down the building, the spirit struck her while she was in mid-air, sending her tumbling to the ground. 

“Damn it!” she screamed, feeling the aching in her bones, and starting to feel dizzy. The spirit let out another shriek, seemingly mocking her. 

“Okay,” Amy yelled, “if that’s how you want to play it!”

However, the minute she tried to start climbing again, she was immediately struck down. She was getting tired, becoming slower and weaker. She was running out of buildings to climb on top of. At this point, she would probably have to climb the clock tower and hope the spirit didn’t knock it down before she could reach the top. However, she wasn’t convinced that she could even reach the tower at this point, not without sustaining more injuries. 

Starting to panic, Amy knew that she needed to get out of the spirit’s sight in order to get her thoughts together. She closed her eyes, bracing herself from another attack from the spirit that sent her flying across the village. Once she landed, she buried herself under some rubble on the ground, trying to make herself as small as possible. 

She was going to die. There was no way she could do this. She would never see her friends again, new and old. She would never listen to the new Taylor Swift album with Shadow. She would never have another shopping spree with Rouge. She would never get to create a scrapbook of all of her adventures with Cream.

She would never see Sonic again. Her last words to him will have been out of bitterness.

Amy could feel her breaths quickening as she placed her hand against her chest, feeling her racing heartbeat. She couldn’t do this alone. There was just no way. It was too strong, too powerful, too intelligent. She was convinced this “being-independent-in-battle” endeavor only worked on robots and Eggman, not malignant and seemingly invincible spirits. 

Mindlessly, she reached for her phone, calling the only person she knew could help her. She didn’t even have a chance to address or reflect on the anxiety she felt by just clicking on his contact information. Without a second thought, she pressed the “call button”.

“Amy?” Sonic spoke from the other line, sounding genuinely surprised to hear from her.

Hearing his voice was an immediate comfort. It always has been. Although just him speaking did little to ever fix all of her problems, it never failed to make her feel that everything would be okay. 

She really needed to feel that way right now. 

“Sonic,” Amy all but sobbed, taking deep breaths to steady herself, “did Tails tell you about what’s going on?”

“Yeah,” Sonic replied, “I’m here with him right now. We’re keeping an eye on the radar. Are you okay?”

“No,” Amy cried, hearing the spirit wreak more havoc in the village. “I can’t do this! I need you.” She felt ashamed, curling into herself. She placed her head in the hand that wasn’t holding the phone, feeling the tears land on her glove.

There was silence. Then, she heard him take a deep breath. “Amy. You can do this. You don’t need me.”

“All of these people are going to die!” She exclaimed, feeling herself become more panicked, “And it’s going to be my fault! I can’t save them, I can’t… do anything! I wanted to do this alone so badly, but I just can’t! I’m not strong enough! Please Sonic…” The words burst out of her, before she had a chance to stop them.

She had really thought she could do it, didn’t she? Going off on her own, being independent, saving and helping people all by herself. However, here she was, begging for help from the one person she was trying to not rely on.

There was a pause from the other line. “You can do anything, Amy,” he replied, “I know, and I know that deep down you know it too! You are absolutely incredible. You can do anything you set your mind to. I promise, if I didn’t know you could handle this, I would be there in a heartbeat. You just need to refocus, recenter yourself. Take a deep breath. You’ve got this.”

Bringing her hand up to her lips and starting to fidget with them, she tried to process his words. Could she really do this? Did he really believe in her? Or did he just not want to make the trip? She pushed that last thought out of her head. Whatever feelings of resentment she felt towards Sonic at the moment, he had a heart of gold. He would never sacrifice the fates of hundreds of people, just because he didn’t “feel like it”. 

He must really have faith in her. 

It clicked for her then. Possibly even more than to be with Sonic romantically, what she had really always wanted was to be able to stand with him. To fight alongside him as an equal. To not feel dependent on his strength to save the day, but to assist him with her own strength. This always felt unattainable.

However, this was her chance to prove to herself that it was possible.

“Thank you,” she answered in a way she hoped relayed all of the gratitude she felt in that moment. “I needed to hear that.”

“It’s going to be okay, Amy,” he said. “I promise. Go finish this thing.”

She ended the call then. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Even though she didn’t feel fully regulated yet, she knew she was running out of time. If she let herself fixate on this any longer, there wouldn’t be any village left to save. She forced herself out of the mindset, making a note to unpack these emotions in her journal later.

Wiping her eyes, she looked around for an opening. Not far from her, she saw a pot hole. It would be disgusting, but she could use the sewers to navigate towards the clock tower. They were disconnected from the underground bunker the villagers were currently in. She opened the pot hole, jumping in and starting to run south of the village. 

She didn’t have time to think of how badly it reeked, or how many showers she was going to need to get the smell out of her fur. She sprinted, having the advantage of the spirit not knowing where she is. For all it knew, she could be dead. 

However, navigating the sewers was a lot trickier than she initially thought. She had to really think back to her knowledge of the outline of the town. Thankfully, the drawn plans of rebuilding the town she had seen everyday had aided her in finding her way to the pothole closest to the clock tower.

Very slowly, she peeked her head out of the hole. Luckily, she saw that the spirit was preoccupied with destroying a clothing shop east of the town. Knowing this was her chance, she ran towards the clock tower, starting to climb it. 

Keeping the spirit in the corner of her eye, knowing it would see her eventually, she did her best to be as quick and stealthy as possible when climbing. She could feel her legs burning in protest, but she kept pushing. 

By some miracle, she managed to reach the top of the clocktower without the spirit seeing her. Knowing she didn’t have a lot of time, she ducked behind and hand rail of the building, turning to the dispelling chant that would allow her to send the spirit back to its realm. 

Reaching for the last salt bomb, she screamed across the town, “HEY UGLY!!” 

The spirit turned, immediately lurching for her. As it got closer, she knew she only had one chance to stop it for good. Knowing her aim had to be perfect, Amy tossed the final salt bomb into the air, using her hammer to aim it towards the spirit’s “heart”. Thankfully, it landed right where she needed it. 

The spirit let out a blood-curdling scream, curling in on itself and writhing around in pain. Amy used this opportunity to grab the book, yelling the spell to banish the spirit. 

Immediately after she chanted the final word, a purple portal appeared behind the spirit, sucking it in. The energy was powerful, and Amy had to hold onto the hand rails to stop herself from being sucked in as well. She gripped on with all her might, hearing the chilling screech from the spirit as it was sucked into the portal. 

Finally, it was over. The portal closed, and the spirit was gone. 

Almost on cue, villagers started to poke their heads out from the underground tunnels, not lingering on the ruin, but looking questionably up at her. Amy nodded, affirming that the spirit was dispelled. 

Cheers were heard across the village, citizens jumping up and down, parents holding their children tight, lovers meeting in tender embraces. Amy’s smile was the biggest it had been in a long time, as she made her way down the clock tower.

At the bottom, she was greeted by a crowd of citizens, showering her in gratitude. She politely smiled in acknowledgement, feeling a bit embarrassed, but proud of the praise.

Making her way through the crowd, she pulled out her phone and called Tails.

“Amy!” She heard as he picked up. “The red energy on the radar is gone! Does that mean you stopped the spirit?”

“Yes,” Amy confirmed. “It’s gone. Everyone is safe!”

“Oh that’s such a relief!” Tails replied. “We were all so nervous! However, we knew you could do it.”

“Thank you for your help, Tails!” Amy said. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Oh well that’s just not true,” Tails retorted, “but anytime. Oh! Sonic wants to talk to you. Is that okay?”

“Yes!” Amy immediately answered, “You can pass the phone to him.”

“Amy!” She heard Sonic’s voice, “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said, gently smiling. “I’ve got a few cuts and bruises, but no broken bones. Everyone here is safe, just a few minor injuries here and there. Nothing fatal.”

“Good,” he replied, sounding relieved. “I’m so proud of you! See? I told you you could do it!”

“Thank you,” she replied, feeling warmth bloom in her chest. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“No need to be sorry!” Sonic insisted, “We all have moments of weakness.”

“Oh, so you do?” Amy teased.

“Well,” Sonic said, “maybe not all of us.”

Amy giggled. She had missed bantering with him, even though it had only been a few weeks since they had last spoken. “Listen,” she started, “I know we have some things to talk about. Once things calm down here, I’d like to talk to you… if that’s okay.”

“Yes!” Sonic exclaimed, a bit more enthusiastically than she anticipated. “I mean… of course. I know you’ve got a lot going on right now, so whenever you have a chance, I’m here.”

“Okay,” Amy replied, smiling to herself. “I have to go now, but thank you Sonic… for everything.”

“Anytime, Amy,” Sonic replied. 

As she was about to hang up, she heard Sonic asking her to wait.

“Yes?” Amy questioned.

“I just…” Sonic started, “I just wanted to let you know that… I really miss you.”

She felt her eyes start to well up with tears, as she became choked up. Only Sonic could make those four words so meaningful.

“I really miss you too,” Amy replied. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye Amy,” Sonic said. Amy then hung up the call. 

Looking from her phone to the village, she knew they were back to square one with rebuilding everything. However, she knew that for the first time in decades, the restoration would remain withstanding.

She only hoped the same would be true for her relationship with Sonic.

Chapter Text

The next couple of weeks consisted of rebuilding the village, once again. The villagers had gathered the supplies to fix the buildings, roads, and houses that had been destroyed. Although there were no casualties from the attack, it was heart-wrenching for the villagers to see their homes demolished once again.

Amy stepped back into the role of delegation, doing her best to ensure that the restorations were being conducted promptly. Even with as many injured villagers working together as possible, it would still take months, possibly years, to reinstitute all that had been lost.

She could feel her time at this village reaching an end. She had stayed at this one the longest, almost for 5 months. However, she did not want to leave until she knew for a fact that they did not need her anymore. 

In order to determine this, she met with the town’s mayor. She did not want to seem like she was in a rush to leave, especially with all of the amazing friends she had made. However, she was ready to move forward in her journey. The mayor had smiled and told her that she had done “more than enough” to help them, and that she should go on her way. 

Her last day at the village came about a week later, and was bittersweet. Although she would keep in contact with the friends she had made, it wouldn’t be the same as seeing them everyday. They had made her a tiny scrapbook of pictures and memories of their times together. She had initially fought back tears upon receiving it, but then let them spill down her cheeks as she looked through it with all of them. Even though she had only known them for a short period of time, these had been the first friends she had comfortable enough to unmask in front of for a long time. They would always hold a special place in her heart.

On the morning of her departure, many people from the village came to see her off. This included Cole, who had brought her the usual strawberry milk latte. This gesture was meaningful, especially since the coffee shop hadn’t even reopened yet. He had written a note on the cup:

Thank you for everything. Safe travels!

She had smiled, giving Cole a friendly hug. After saying her goodbyes to the other villagers, and ensuring all of her belongings were safely packed in her car, she set off on the road once again, unsure of where it would take her next. 

✶✶✶

For the next week, Amy spent most of her time on the road. She did visit villages between travels, but did not come across any that needed her aid. She would usually stay the night in one of the hotels (most of the villagers would not allow her to pay, hearing of her heroic deeds), and hit the road again the next morning.

Although she did want to help others, Amy decided to take advantage of the calm to make more time for herself. She wrote in her journal more, trying to analyze and come to terms with her own emotions. She started with setting aside time to write in her journal each day, but eventually decided to just write whenever the inspiration hit her. Not all of her passages were cohesive, a couple consisted of random, scattered thoughts that she had just needed to release. 

One day, she was writing in her journal while having lunch at the local bistro in one of the villages she was visiting. As she was writing, her phone buzzed. Taking it out of her purse, her heart skipped a beat when she saw who the message was from.

Sonic: hey amy! i just wanted to make sure ur okay- i haven’t heard from u in a few weeks. i know that things are weird right now, but u said u wanted to talk so i just wanted to let u know i’m ready whenever!

Right after she finished reading the message, another one appeared below it.

Sonic: sry i’m not tryin to pressure u into talking if ur not ready to, i just wanted to let u know if u were waiting on me for any reason that u don’t need to! i’m good!

Then, another.

Sonic: not assuming that ur waiting on me tho bc u don’t need to like even if i didn’t say i was ready i’d still want to talk to u! 

Another message.

Sonic: ok i’m sry for all the messages just whenever ur free no rush <3

She giggled once she had read all of the messages. Sonic really knew how to make any conversation pertaining to feelings super awkward. She did also feel a bit guilty, because it did seem like he was really walking on eggshells around her right now. Although she understood why, she definitely didn’t want their relationship to be like this forever. However, it was kind of her fault for lashing out at him without giving him a chance to defend himself. 

Also, she did see the heart at the end of his message. She tried to not read too much into it. If she did, she would completely melt.

She replied:

Amy: hi sonic! i’m doing well :) i’m sorry i haven’t reached out to you! i’ve been traveling a lot and really focusing on myself. i have also been trying to find the best words to say to you. would u be free for a call tomorrow night by chance? maybe around 8?

His reply was almost instantaneous.

Sonic: i’m free! i’ll call u then :) 

Amy held down the message to react to it. She was about to react to it using a “heart”, but decided to use a “thumbs up” instead. 

Then, the panic settled in. 

Oh my god tomorrow?! I don’t even have all of my thoughts together yet and I really don’t want to yell at him again I’m not ready I’m not ready I’m not ready– 

She forced herself to snap out of it. Whether she was ready or not, it was happening. She was even the one who suggested tomorrow night, so deep down she must have known that it was time to talk to him. 

Taking a deep breath, she reached for her journal once more, and prepared to create cohesive thoughts and ideas about how she wanted her part of the conversation to go tomorrow. She would slow down, let him speak, but also communicate how she was feeling. 

On one hand she was dreading it, on the other hand she could hardly wait. This would be a jarring conversation, but at least she would get to hear his voice once again. 

✶✶✶

The next evening, Amy was brushing her hair while looking in the mirror. Once she was done, she applied a clear lip gloss. Although this would not be a face-to-face conversation, she felt more confident when she put a bit more effort into her appearance.

She glanced at her phone. 7:52, the time read. She felt butterflies in her stomach, like she was about to go downhill on a rollercoaster. 

She took a deep breath, steeling her resolve. She was going to try to trust herself, to be honest and to-the-point with Sonic. However, she was also going to try to keep her own feelings in check. Although she wanted to better explain why she had been so upset, she also didn’t want him to feel burdened by her feelings, or feel like she was placing blame on how she felt on him. His rejection in the past didn’t help, but it also wasn’t fair to say it was on him.

It would be okay. Everything would be fine. It was a conversation with a friend who she had known for years. There was nothing to be nervous about. 

Looking in the mirror once again, she forced herself to say her positive affirmations out loud:

“It’s okay to be excited.

It’s okay to love.

It’s okay to be yourself.”

Seemingly right on cue, her phone rang. She grabbed it and saw Sonic’s face popping up on the caller ID. It was only 7:56! 

It was ironic, that the one time she would be fine with him being a little late, he was early. 

There was nothing she could do about it now. Placing a hand against her heart and taking another deep breath, she exhaled as she pressed the green button to accept his call.

“Hello?” She started.

“Ames!” She heard his voice from the other line. It was so good to hear his face. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” she replied. She smiled to herself, deciding to tease him a little bit. “You’re early. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Well,” he responded playfully, “I am the fastest thing alive.”

“It is literally a miracle when you are on time to something,” She giggled.

“Okay, sometimes I like to be fashionably late,” he said. She could hear him stifling his laughter.

She laughed. That’s right Amy, breathe. Don’t make this weird. This doesn’t have to be weird.

“So,” she began once again, “I wanted to talk to you about our… fight? I’m not sure if you could really call it that, since I was the one mainly doing the yelling.”

“Cutting right to the chase, huh?” she could hear him laugh nervously. “I wouldn’t say you were yelling just… talking very passionately?”

She gave a tittering laugh. “I guess you could say that.” She composed herself, and continued. “I wanted to apologize for that night. I was having a difficult evening, and a lot of suppressed emotions made their way to the surface. I took it out on you, and you didn’t deserve that. I am really sorry.”

“Ames,” he sounded more serious now, “you have nothing to apologize for. I don’t blame you for feeling that way. I was a jerk to you.”

“No,” she protested. She really didn’t want him to blame himself. “This isn’t on you! You were just a kid.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “so were you. That doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt your feelings when we were younger. I really do… care about you, and I did then as well. I just sucked at showing it.”

“I know,” she replied, smiling gently. “You’ve always been there for me, I’ve always been able to rely on you. I think that being on my own is a lot more intimidating than I thought it would be. It was really easy to just push down my feelings when I hung out with you guys everyday. However, being on my own has given me a lot of time to reflect on the past and the present.”

He was silent, waiting for her to continue.

“There was this boy in one of the villages I helped,” she went on, “and he… ended up confessing that he had romantic feelings for me. My instant reflex was to ask him why he felt that way, what he liked about me, what it possibly was about me that he could appreciate in that way? I think that because I spent so long pursuing a romance that never really went anywhere, I got into my head that there was something wrong with me. Like, I wasn’t good enough to be loved or in a relationship.”

She heard him inhale, like he wanted to say something. She paused, giving him a moment to interject. When he didn’t say anything, she decided to continue.

“A while ago, it got to the point where I gave myself a choice. I could continue to chase you, participating in this never-ending cycle of getting my hopes up, feelings rejected, and vexing you. Or, I could move on, accepting that friendship would be as far as our relationship would go, and stand beside you as a friend. I chose the latter, and I feel like in the past few years, I’ve gotten to know you on such a deeper level. We became even closer as a result of this, and I will forever be grateful for that.”

“However, I feel like a result of that was feeling like I had to contain myself. Not only about my feelings for you, but my personality in general. I felt that if I could calm myself down and become more pleasant and less hyper, I would be able to be more accepted in the group. I also think that there was a part of me that hoped that if I chilled out, I could become more appealing to you.”

She summoned up all of the courage she had to continue. “My feelings for you never changed. In fact, they only grew stronger, as I got to know you better. Even excluding all of your heroic deeds, you are an incredible person. When another person confessed to me romantically, I could only think of you. However, I feel like, as a result of the past, I have come to associate romance with rejection.”

“I don’t–” Sonic started, then stopped. “I hate that you feel that way, and that I played any part in it. I am so sorry, Amy.”

“I don’t blame you,” she replied, “I really don’t. I was mad, but I don’t think I was so much mad at you than I was at myself. For taking so long to come to terms with these feelings. I didn’t even like that boy romantically, and it would have been easy for me to initially kindly reject him. However, I think what took me aback more than anything was the fact that anyone had romantic feelings for me.”

“You’re an incredible person, Amy,” Sonic said. This was by far the most serious she had ever heard him speak. “You really are. I… we all talk about you all the time, and how amazing you are.”

“I really appreciate it,” she answered, “I promise I’m not trying to fish for compliments. I think… I think I was surprised at my reaction. I always felt that I had a good amount of self-confidence, not enough to be arrogant, but enough to feel like I was a righteous individual. This entire situation opened my eyes to some self-esteem issues I wasn’t aware I had. I’ve been working through them; it’s been a slow-moving process, but I’ve been making some progress.”

“That’s great to hear,” Sonic said enthusiastically. “Well, you already know how wonderful we all think you are, but is there anything I can do to help?”

She exhaled, preparing herself for what she was about to say. “All I need you to do right now is listen to what I’m about to say. You are under no obligation to respond, or to try to make me feel better about this. I need to get it out to move on.”

Another pause. He said nothing. She resumed.

“I love you, Sonic,” she relayed, feeling her eyes well up with tears. However, she did her best to not let them fall, or to demonstrate any signs of tears in her voice. “I always have, and probably always will. I think you’re incredible, and I am so lucky to have you in my life. However, I need to move on. I need to stop giving myself false hope that one day you will wake up and decide that you do want me romantically. I need to be done. Not with you obviously, but with the idea of being with you.”

She thought she could hear his breath tremble a bit, but she didn’t feel it would do any good to think about it too much.

“This is not me saying that I don’t want to talk to you,” she continued, “but I do think I need some more time with limited interactions. It’s hard to get over you when I’m talking with you every other day. I’ll definitely continue to text and keep you posted on my travels, but I think I really need to focus on myself right now.”

She paused, not wanting to break the silence until he was ready.

“O-okay,” he replied, sounding a bit dejected. However, Amy figured that he was more upset about their weekly phone calls being put on hiatus more than anything. She knew that he really valued their friendship. “I get it. I feel like I missed… never mind. I understand.”

“Are you mad?” Amy inquired. His tone sounded so lifeless.

“Not at you,” he answered. She heard him let out an exasperated breath. “I’m mad at myself. I really should’ve…I just really messed up.”

“No you didn’t!” Amy protested. “This has nothing to do with you! It’s not your fault you don’t see me in that way. This is on me, not you!”

“That’s not–” he started, then seemingly stopped himself. “That’s not true,” he continued. 

“What’s not true?” she questioned. 

“I l–” he resumed, then paused. “I mean I really–”, another pause. “I just–”, he stopped once again.

“It’s okay, Sonic,” Amy decided to interject to stop him from pushing himself. “I know you blame yourself for the way I feel, but I really don’t want you to. I don’t see it that way, and I don’t want you to see it that way. I don’t want to distance myself from you because I want to ruin our friendship, I just don’t want my feelings to complicate our friendship anymore. I’m sure I just need some time to get past this. Once I do, everything will be fine, okay?”

She heard him let out a shaky breath. “Okay,” he responded.

“Do you need to say anything?” Amy asked, not wanting him to feel that he had no place to speak in this conversation.

Another pause. “No,” he said, in a tone that could be described as defeated. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” Amy replied. “I… I think this may be a good place to stop for the night then.”

“Alright,” Sonic said, not coldly, but a bit spiritlessly. “Good night, Amy.”

“Good night, Sonic,” Amy answered, pressing the red button to end the call.

Instantly, she placed her head in her hands and bawled. What did she think was going to happen? Did she think he was going to relay some heartfelt romantic confession? How would she even have reacted if he did? Would she have believed him?

She pushed the thought away, knowing that it would be harder to move on from him if she kept dreaming about him confessing to her. He never would, and she needed to accept that. He didn’t love her.

She lifted her head up, wiping the tears off of her cheeks. She stood up from her chair, making her way to the window. Looking up at the sky, she noticed it was a full moon tonight. It was stunning, and stars sparkling as the moon shone radiantly. 

She wondered if Sonic could see the same moon from where he was. She wondered how he was feeling after their talk, if he was looking up at the same moon and missing her. 

She forced her thoughts to halt. She needed to stop thinking about Sonic. That was the whole point of this conversation that she needed to figure out who she was without him. She made a vow to herself right then, that this would be the last tear she would ever shed about Sonic the Hedgehog.

Stepping away from the window, she decided that she had overstayed her welcome in this village. She packed up her belongings and made her way to the front desk. Even though the receptionist insisted that she didn’t need to pay for the evening, she did so anyway. 

Putting her suitcase in the trunk, she sat in the driver’s seat and turned on her car. As she started to drive, she turned the radio up as loud as it could go, hoping the blaring music would help to drown out her thoughts. 

She felt numb, depressed, but also hopeful. For the first time in her life, there was no part of her that was secretly holding on to the thought of being with Sonic. She could breathe. She could move forward.

For the first time in a while, the possibilities seemed endless.