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Jerking up into a seated position Neteyam barely manages to keep the scream that bubbled in his throat in as he stares ahead into the darkness surrounding him. Being the middle of the night, with heavy cloud hanging over the reefs currently do his eyes only slowly get used to the surrounding dark.
Sitting in his hammock, a layer of cold sweat on his forehead, his heart pounding out of his chest which is heaving up and down Neteyams hand automatically lays itself onto his left chest, above the rough scar the bullet has left.
The ugly reminder he almost died.
The brave reminder he survived.
Tears racing to his eyes does he blink to keep them down while swallowing the lump in his throat. The nightmare having been so vivid, Neteyam isn't sure if that man hasn't managed to actually sneak into his mind and toy with him.
Gently, to not make any noices, his siblings fast asleep in the hammocks beside his Neteyam dangles his feet off of his and push up to stand. Thankful his hammock is the far left one and he does not have to climb over or duck under any obstacles as he quietly makes his way over to the front room.
The small fire of their dinnertime has long since burned out and the front room has grown cold. Just like the rest of the reefs, ever since the war has come upon these lands. Bringing clouds and smog with it, shielding the warmth of the sun. Pulling up an overlay Neteyam wraps it around himself tightly before exiting his families marui.
The night brings a cool wind in from the ocean and Neteyam shivers almost immediately. But the fresh air feels nice and so he wanders on instead of turning back, making his way across the bouncy net, past all of the quiet maruis with all of the families sleeping inside.
But ever since the sky people have come is the village quiet and dark, the lights the Metkayina usually enlighten the night with put out, warriors patrolling the area are in their stead. Greeting the tall hunters standing guard with a soft head nod Neteyam walks past them. His feet going on and on, his arms pulling the overlay tight around his shoulders, both cold and trying to soothe himself.
Trying to keep his mind busy, not thinking about the pictures that have burned themselves into his mind. Pictures that are untrue, that are loving memories, memories that Neteyam held dear turned scary.
His first flight being interrupted by a scorpion, shooting his Se'ayl out of the sky, always in the left chest. Feeling her pain through their bond while plummeting to their death together, waking up in cold sweat.
Practising his hand to hand combat by his favorite spot in his jungle, attacking a self made target with blow after blow, going through the exact same routine every time. And when he turns around himself about to kick does his target turn into a Skel suit. Catching his leg and breaking it. Making Neteyam wake up in a panic with numb and tingling legs.
Standing by his favorite riverside, bow pulled back aiming at one of the fish there, just like his parents have taught him. Hearing his father compliment him, standing beside him. Out hunting for his clan, for his family. Making the shoot and grabbing the fish out of the waters turning to show his father only to find himself staring down the barrel of a gun. But instead of fighting, running, yelling he is paralyzed. Only hearing the shot before waking up trying to contain his scream.
But neither of them is worst one of them all. Having stopped dead in his track, his heart pounding out of his chest hurting badly with every beat, his ears ringing letting only muffled noices getting through, his vision blurry with tears threatening to loosen and fall, Neteyam finds his hand scratching at his scar.
And he jerks his hand away.
Feeling how warm his chest has gotten, his nails having pulled dark lines across it, the scar starting to pinch and hurt, still sensible to the touch, let alone scratching over it.
And Neteyam tries to will a deep breath into himself, but his lungs do not cooperate with him. And so he is left heaving for air while looking around if anyone hears him struggling to breathe. Blinking his eyes to rid of the tears, his fingers tapping his chest in silent prayer to slow his heartbeat down again.
How much he hates this feeling.
Forcing his legs to move, Neteyam makes himself walk closer towards the edge of the net, the water underneath swallowing every little light that is still around. Making it look like there is a black void underneath him yet he goes and sits down at the edge. Letting his leg down slowly, feeling the water ice cold with his toes, Neteyam pulls his knees up to his chest instead and wrap his arms around them. Feeling another breeze brush past him, while his eyes fixate on two hunters riding patrol past him, coming a bit closer when they see him sitting alone but Neteyam waves them off.
Following after them with his eyes, he places his chin back onto his knees while letting out a long breath.
Wondering if the memories will ever fade. But even if they do, does he have a permanent reminder of that day. A reminder, while showing his strength in surviving an almost certain death, is Neteyam unsure he will actually ever associate that horrible scar with anything but almost leaving his family. Disappointing them.
"Hey." a soft voice pulls him from his thoughts and Neteyam turns his head around to look up, already knowing who the voice belong to "Hi you."
Watching as Aonung steps beside him and squats down "May I sit with you?"
"Please."
Before he takes his seat beside him on the edge of the net. And Neteyam waits for him to start talking but Aonung remains quiet beside him. Looking out across the horizon, watching where the ocean swallows up the stars.
Listening to the sound of the waves together a moment, just sitting beside each other in silence. Until Aonung lets out a soft sigh, which has Neteyam turn his head to his friend. Seeing Aonung do the same, giving him a small smile before asking in a quiet tone "Can't sleep?"
"No." making a longer pause then he anticipated, the silence suddenly overtakes and Neteyam just throws Aonung a sad smile instead of talking further. But he sees his friend nod back to him knowingly, before answering a quiet "Yeah, me neither." as they stare at each other, yet not really looking at one another. Before turning back to the ocean simply existing here together, in the cold night, bringing even colder wind blowing around them. Having Neteyam pull his overlay a bit tighter while Aonung lets his foot dangle down into the water.
Which has him whisper surprised "Aren't you cold?" to which his friend chuckles before answering him quietly "Thankfully no. I'm do not get as cold."
"Hmpf."
Placing his head back down onto his crossed arms resting on his knees, Aonung whispers a reminder "Hey. Your body is still recovering. Don't forget that."
"I doubt I ever will." Neteyam mumbles back, feeling Aonung move beside him and his friend suddenly whispers concerned "Are you ok?" and Neteyam contemplates a moment before he pushes himself to confide in his friend "I... have a nightmare. A reoccuring one. Almost always the same but... most times it feels far away. Tonight it didn't."
Staring out, not wanting to see Aonungs reaction while he speaks, afraid he won't get it all out, Neteyam tells his friend about his nightmare.
It is the very first night that his family spend here at Awa'atlu, when he went on a walk on the beachside with his family. Tuk and Kiri were running a little ahead, their hands holding onto each other while jumping around, having fun. Lo'ak continuesly picked up flat stones to go and flick them across the ocean surface when the waves stilled, his feet shuffling through the soft waves washing up on the shore. Their parents had been behind them, walking hand in hand, watching their children enjoy their new home. Having spend their day making their marui into a home, hanging up their beds, putting away their belongings, did they want to relax into their night. It was the first peaceful and stressfree night in a long, long time. But it made all of them nervous nonetheless.
"It is such a wonderful memory before. Like all of my other dreams. Memories with my family. When we were happy. Safe. And then... that boat arrives. It just... appears. Out of thin air. No warning. No noices. It is just there, out in the water. It's brights lights illuminating the night, blinding me. And I see him stand there. Only his silhouette. Standing at the bow of the ship. The very top. His gun pointing at me." Neteyam whispers, a sharp pain flashing through his chest and his hand places itself on top of it as he continues "But I cannot hear anything. Only the buzzing of the lights shining on me. The peaceful sounds of the waves are gone."
Jerking when he feel warm skin touching his knee Neteyam stares where Aonung had gently let his leg fall against his as he moved closer to him. Staring at it for a moment does Neteyam take a few deep breaths before he tells Aonung the end of his reoccurring dream "I hear the gunshot. And I feel the pain. I see the stars above. The cold stone under me. I feel... cold." his voice dropping to a whisper Neteyam turns his head to look at his friend, seeing his worried gaze laying on him. And Neteyam whispers "I will never forget her scream." as he feels a tear roll down his cheek, not even raising a hand to wipe it away knowing there are more following.
"Teyam..."
Sniffing softly Neteyam looks at the soft blue eyes watching him and he sees Aonung lift his arm, his hand raising up to his face as his friend catches his tears. Gently stroking over his cheeks before whispering "You are alive. And you are here. Your family, their are all here. I know that the sky people are still out there but... For now we are safe here." but Aonungs words are only a small comfort "I am worried too. Worried that the sky people will come back to our reefs, find us."
And Neteyam turns to stare at his friend, tilting his head at him in presumtion which makes Aonung sigh "I know... they probably never left. They are still here. Somewhere."
Letting his hands fall Aonung lowers his head with them, staring at them as he grows quiet again. Watching his friends worry, Neteyam goes and gently reach his arm through Aonungs, running his fingers over his underarm as he grabs ahold of his friends biceps with his other hand. Moving over to let the entirety of their bodies sides touch as he shifts close, holding Aonung tight. Letting his head fall down onto his friends shoulder, Neteyam just enjoys the comfortable warmth Aonung spreads. Listening as his friends mumbles "I'm scared for our future. The clan. My parents. I mean you fled. There is a reason for it. We doubled our patrol. We started training our hunters to fight. We left our path. Our way." as he quiets down again. Gently squeezing his arm Neteyam lets his hand wander further down over Aonungs wrist and slip between his friends hands, intertwining them as Aonung grabs onto it tightly, holding himself on it.
"I fear there is nothing to do but wait. Wait it out. Hope we will beat them. Again... maybe we can." Neteyam whispers, wanting to lift Aonungs spirit but knowing himself that he failed terribly at doing so. And how could he possibly. Knowing the destruction the sky people bring with them. The pain. The death.
Feeling Aonung squeeze his hand tightly, letting his thumb stroke over it Neteyam realises how he tensed up, clenching his friends hand in his grip, clinging onto his arm. Loosening his grip he whispers "Sorry-"
"Don't be." comes the answer in a breath before he even finished his word and the two fall silent all over again. Just holding each other tightly, letting their presence be comfort for the other, while looking out across the reef, watching the patrol riding through the waters in the far distance. Watching a few stars appearing between the dark clouds hanging over them, little light managing to pass through. The horizon indistinguishable, water and sky having merged together into a black void. Even the usually so colorful corals only produce little light anymore, having no energy to give anymore now that the days are darker too.
"You are warm." Neteyam mumbles. Even with everything saddening him, with the quietness that overtook the clan, the worry, the fear, the pain hanging in the air.
His friend is warm.
Feeling Aonungs head move, knowing he is looking at him, Neteyam whispers on "I have been cold since that day I almost... You are warm." when his friend suddenly frees his arm and Neteyam is about to move away apologizing, unsure if Aonung is comfortable cuddled up like this. When his friend places his arm around his shoulders and squeezes him to his side.
His warmth surrounding him more Neteyam leans his body into Aonungs, his tense muscles relaxing, his mind easing up. The soft humming that has been occupying his mind the past time surprisingly quiets down and Neteyam snacks his arms around Aonungs waist, letting his legs down, leaning them onto Aonungs.
When Aonung places another warm hand onto his knees, pulling his legs closer, holding Neteyam in his arms. Looking up at him in a bit of wonder, Neteyam is surprised to see how comfortable Aonung has gotten around him. Having been by his side almost daily, helping his progress along, holding him in his arm when Neteyam took his first walks again. Hugging him when he left for the night. Interlocking their hands when he managed a longer walk. Always sitting beside him. Rotxo told him in confidence how worried Aonung had been and how terribly he missed him.
"Thank you for listening." Neteyam whispers looking up at his friend who turns to looks back at him, their faces close. Aonungs blue eyes locked with his, a sad look to them but the warm smile indicating he is ok. And Neteyam notices how his eyes linger at said smile.
Soft. Warm. Honest.
Hearing the smile whisper "Thank you for listening." back to him. And Neteyam tears his eyes away to let them jump back up to the blue eyes instead watching him intently. Curious Neteyam finds himself ask "Did you really worry about me?"
"Hm?"
"When I was healing. Back in the forest. When I had to have surgery and was out for a while."
Turning his head in a blush Aonung asks quietly "Who told you that?"
"Rotxo."
"Hm." lowering his head embarrassed Aonung takes a small breath before replying "Yes. I did. A lot."
"Do you care for me?"
"Of course." Aonung answers, confused at the question, turning to stare at Neteyam who feels his heart beat a little faster "Aonung..."
Staring into his eyes, Neteyam watches Aonung search his for a moment. Wondering. Maybe even hopeful.
"Do you care... for me?"
Silence hovering between them for a moment Neteyam concentrates on his breathing while he waits. Maybe hopes too? He isn't sure.
When Aonung exclaims a very quiet "...I do."
And Neteyam pushes himself up to him, his eyes closing as he does, anticipating what is to happen. Maybe.
But when he finds Aonungs soft lip pushing against his Neteyam sighs. And he pulls his arms away from Aonungs waist, wrapping them around his shoulders to hold him close. While they move with each other, finding their rhythm, their kiss is sweet and gentle, unhurried. Calm.
It has Neteyams mind stop spiralling and for the first time in a while he finds himself not dizzy. Not hurting. And he just kisses on. Slowly. Never leaving Aonungs soft lips. Feeling no need to deepen their kiss, to push into Aonung more, knowing that he knows. He can feel it too. The peace that spreads in him. The comfort. The safety. And so he decides to stay here. In Aonungs arms. Gently kissing him. On and on. Falling into his body, relaxing.
When the cold breeze of the ocean picks up, having Neteyam tense up at that, gently guiding their kiss to a stop. And the first drop of rain falls onto his skin and the last of the stars hide behind the heavy clouds. Sighing softly Neteyam turns to look at Aonung who too has sat up taller again, whispering "We should probably get back inside. Get some more rest." as he stands up first, holding out his hands for Neteyam to take. Letting Aonung help him up, as the wind picks up more, pushing the rain against their bodies. Making Neteyam move closer to his friend, wrapping his arms around Aonungs warm body, holding him as said places his arms around Neteyams back and squeeze him tightly.
And Neteyam hears himself whisper "I don't want to sleep alone." leaving Aonung a moment to react as his friend freezes up only shortly, before he pulls back at first but only to get Neteyam to look up at him. Capturing his lips into another short kiss, that has Neteyams heart beat faster, mumbling against him "You wanna come home with me?" to which Neteyam hears himself again answer in an instant "Yes." staring up into those big blue eyes of Aonungs, staring at him all happy. And Neteyam chuckles softly when Aonungs face turns all giddy, guiding him along back towards his home. To which Neteyam hops to catch up to his side and leans into his friend as they make their way to Aonungs families marui.
Having no idea what tonight meant or what they are. What they might be in the future or aren't allowed to be.
If this is what he wants or just craves for the moment.
The security Aonung gives him. The attention. The comfort and peace.
Regardless what the future holds, tonight he enjoys it. The little bubble he and Aonung are in. Tonight it does not matter.