Chapter Text
Emilia arrived in her room and sagged against the closed door, the heavy silence of the suite pressing in on her. With a weary sigh, she toed off her boots, not caring as they thudded onto the plush carpet, and let herself fall face-first onto the massive bed. The silk spread was cool against her cheek, but it offered no comfort.
Today marked one week since she had come to the Roswaal mansion. It felt like a lifetime. For so long, her world had been the quiet Elior Forest, her only company the frozen statues and spirits. The sole positive human interaction had been the occasional, wary greeting from the shopkeeper in the nearby village.
Now, she was surrounded by people, yet felt more isolated than ever. She thought of her brief walk to her room just now, passing the twin maids. Rem and Ram had offered a perfectly synchronized, chillingly polite bow, their eyes blank and distant, before continuing on their way. They didn't seem to register her existence beyond duty.
Her interactions with Roswaal were hardly better. He was welcoming, in his own unsettling, sing-song way. But Emilia knew what their relationship was: a transaction. He wanted her to become a royal candidate, and she needed his aid to unfreeze her people. They were allies of convenience, nothing more.
Frederica had been the one exception. They had actually talked, sharing stories over tea just three days ago. Emilia had felt a real, fragile sprout of hope. A friend. Maybe she could finally make a friend.
Then, the very next morning, Frederica had requested leave. Gone.
Emilia rolled onto her back, staring at the ornate canopy above her.
Now, there was only Puck. She loved Puck, of course she did. He was her father, her anchor, her entire world for so long.
But this was different. This was a hollow, aching loneliness for something else. A friend. Someone who would talk to her about nothing at all. Someone who would see her, not a ‘Witch’, not ‘Emilia-sama’, not a ‘transaction’, but just... Emilia.
Wanting a friend felt stupid, a childish indulgence she couldn't afford. She knew what people saw. A living mirror of the Witch of Envy. Fear and hatred were the default. It was a truth she’d lived with since she was unfrozen, but it never got easier.
She’d seen the proof of it just yesterday in the capital. While waiting for a carriage, a passing cart had splashed mud all over her non-recognition cloak. Annoyed, she’d slipped it off for just a moment to wring it out.
It was enough.
The chatter around her died. A woman gasped and pulled her child close. Men coldly glared, their faces hardening with scorn. Some even bumped into her shoulder as they passed, muttering insults.
Emilia had been relieved she'd managed to calm Puck's rising anger before he attacked anyone, but she was even more furious with herself. Why couldn't she just get used to it? This was normal. This was her curse, her burden.
The twins, even kind Frederica, had flinched that first time they saw her. They were just polite enough to hide it now.
To be hated for something she couldn't control. A life sentence in an icy, lonely cage.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe this was it. Maybe she would be lonely forever, just her and Puck against the world. It was a future she could picture all too easily. Living out her long, long life, completely alone. The thought brought a coldness far deeper than any she had ever felt, making her want to cry and beg for any other fate.
Still, she childishly imagined a person. Someone who wouldn't care about her elven features. Someone kind, who helped people just because it was the right thing to do. Someone loud and sociable, who could build bridges and pull her out of her shell, introducing her to others...
Emilia sighed, the fantasy collapsing under its own weight.
No. That was too much to ask.
She wouldn’t dare ask for that much. All she really wanted... all she needed... was one person. Someone who would look at her and see Emilia. Just Emilia.
It was a stupid hope, one she knew would never be rewarded.
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The 'GAME OVER' screen flashed, casting a grim, pulsing red light across the darkened room. Natsuki Subaru didn't move. He just stared, the controller held loosely in his hands. He’d lost his last life. Back to the start.
He wasn't in the mood anymore. He tossed the controller onto the heap of clothes piled by his desk.
It was already night. Subaru hadn't left the room since waking up... whenever that was. Noon? He’d only emerged twice: once for the bathroom, and once to grab the plate of food his mother had left by his door.
He’d at least heard his parents this morning, their worried, hushed voices outside his room. Asking him if he would go to school, if he was sick, if he was okay.
Subaru had only given them short and curt responses, though his parents accepted them with grace. Subaru felt bad, but he couldn’t get himself to even apologize.
He continued to be a leech. A pathetic, useless shut-in, and the only thing worse than his uselessness was his parents' endless, undeserved kindness.
How long, Subaru wondered, until they finally saw him for the pathetic parasite he was and just kicked him out? He almost wished they would. But he was too cowardly to even force that. He just sat on his ass, making them waste their love on him.
Subaru’s eyes, dull and lifeless, roamed the familiar prison of his room. Was this it? Was he going to spend the rest of his miserable life here, slowly rotting, a monument to wasted potential?
A natural fate for someone like him.
'The Son of Natsuki Kenichi.' That title used to make him proud. Now, it just filled him with a deep, bottomless shame. He hadn't lived up to it. He hadn't lived up to anything. Not even as the class clown, dragging his... friends... into trouble.
‘Friends’. The word felt bitter instead of warm.
Subaru glanced at his phone. The screen was dark, his dead-fish eyes reflected in it. He knew what he’d see if he turned it on. Nothing. No messages. No missed calls. He’d had friends, he thought. Back in middle school. But the moment he stopped being the entertainer, the moment he’d collapsed under the pressure of trying to be his dad, they’d vanished.
He couldn't even blame them. Why would they want to hang around... this?
Even so, it couldn't have been that bad. Surely at least one of them would care. Or, were they just using him? Was he just a fun pastime? Was everyone like that, only sticking around when there was something to gain?
Subaru had no way of knowing. His complete lack of social skills had ruined him time and time again after all.
Still, a deep sadness settled in his chest. He had been abandoned.
He’d felt their relationship was real. Clearly, it wasn’t. Was it wrong to feel that way? To want people, just one person, to be around him just because he was Natsuki Subaru?
Just weak, fragile, pathetic Natsuki Subaru.
A hollow laugh escaped him. Who would ever accept that? Who would want that?
No one. He wasn't stupid enough to believe otherwise.
And yet... some small, idiotic part of him still held on to that gentle poison called hope. A stupid, impossible fantasy.
That someday, somewhere, maybe far away where no one had ever heard of Natsuki Kenichi... he'd meet someone.
Someone who would see him. All the stupid, pathetic, broken parts. And they would accept him. Someone who, when he was at the very end of his rope, would just... be there. Someone who would want him, Natsuki Subaru, and no one else.
He knew it was a lie. A daydream.
But if he could, would he go there? Abandon his parents and selfishly run away? It would be a favor to them, really. Taking out the trash before they had to.
It was all hypothetical, of course. He had no money, no means to get any, and more importantly no courage.
Natsuki Subaru would remain stuck here, the sole bringer of his own suffering. And that faint, stupid hope that he’d meet that special someone? It was just another way for him to slowly kill himself. It would never, ever come to pass.