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Chapter Text

It has been years now since strange dreams started to haunt the mind of the young movie producer. His name was Zhang Wanyin in this life. Yet he could not help but wonder who the hell was this Jiang Cheng he kept dreaming of. The more he dreamed, the more the faces of the people from his dreams became visible and recognizable. In his dreams, he was Jiang Cheng. Nie Huaisang and even his older brother who Jiang Cheng never met were in his dreams too. His friends Wei Wuxian, Wen Qing and Wen Ning were in his dreams too.

He believed the dreams to just be a part of his imagination. After all, he was a movie director and producer looking for the next big hit. Still, he found it hilarious that the main characters of his dreams were always himself and the big and bulky older brother of Nie Huaisang who he never even met. He would wake up in the morning with a warm and longing feeling in his chest.

At some point he worried for his own mental health which was when he told his best friend Nie Huaisang of his dreams. It was how the script for the next big movie they would make together was born. Zhang Wanyin believed Nie Huaisang to have written the script from the bits and pieces of the dreams Wanyin told him about. No one had to know the truth about how Nie Huaisang knew this story already.

Nie Huaisang was a six hundred year old Immortal who may have seen his fair share of tragedy in life. And if he knew Zhang Wanyin in his previous mortal life, no one had known anything of it. No one but Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning and Wen Qing.

And while Zhang Wanyin believed him meeting the four friends to be a coincidence, Nie Huaisang knew better. It was no coincidence that they met. They had all been looking for him since he died in his previous life. But no one dared tell Nie Mingjue of his return. No one dared tell the Butcher of the return of his Lotus Flower.

Zhang Wanyin was twenty five when the movie production was finished. He was twenty five when he watched it premiere for the first time from the backstage. He was twenty five when he first learned that his dreams hadn’t been dreams- they were his old memories.

Nie Mingjue went to the premiere with Nie Huaisang. They sat together in the VIP section with Nie Huaisang hiding his face behind his fan, like always. The movie started and Nie Mingjue stopped breathing or blinking.

The story was familiar because he knew it by heart. It was the story of his great love Jiang Cheng- the love of his life and how he died. It was the story of their great and beautiful love that had a tragic ending. Nie Mingjue turned to look at his brother and frowned.

“What have you done, di-di?” Nie Mingjue asked only for Nie Huaisang to hide behind his fan again.

“Just watch, da-ge. I promise I did nothing bad.” He whispered and Nie Mingjue turned to the screen to see the character of Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue fall in love on screen.

He watched Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue meet for the first time. He watched Jiang Cheng get bullied at school only for Nie Mingjue to save him a few times. He watched himself go to college. He watched himself return to find that Jiang Cheng had changed. He would spend most of his free time at the gym. He watched Jiang Cheng hang out with him and Nie Huaisang. He watched Jiang Cheng fall in love with Nie Mingjue and grow awkward around him. He watched his character become smitten with Jiang Cheng. He watched himself ask Jiang Cheng out for the first time.

He watched the love of his life on screen and he almost felt alive again. Key word being almost. How he had missed him, Nie Mingjue thought. He missed his explosive personality. He missed the way he knew how to love loudly and unapologetically. Then he watched the love of his life run through the woods from his enemies. He watched as he sobbed in panic before he put a hand over his mouth so as to silence his cries.

He watched him come to the edge of the cliff and nearly fall off. Nie Mingjue watched a terrified Jiang Cheng turn around to face his adopted brother standing there with a gun pointed towards him. The entire audience erupted into chaos of gasps and cries and denial. Good, they felt exactly how Nie Mingjue felt back then.

He watched Jiang Cheng’s brother pull the trigger and put a bullet into Jiang Cheng’s head only to watch his body fall off a cliff. Nie Mingjue had felt like he was thrown back to the past, his hatred for Wei Wuxian coming alive once more. He remembered that cliff. He remembered crying worse than the Nie Mingjue on screen was crying. He remembered diving in the water at the bottom of the cliff as he looked for his lover. He remembered diving religiously in that water for a month, searching but not finding anything. The love of his life died and there was not even a corpse to be buried. Jiang Cheng had been unfortunate enough to die before he ever even reached Immortality.

Nie Mingjue felt his dead heart come alive again only to break into a thousand pieces once more. Then he heard applause and startled. The movie must have ended, he thought as he looked around, annoyed by the applause. What were there people even applauding for? For this tragic love story? Why? His love had died in a brutal way. What was there to celebrate? Jiang Cheng was still dead.

He watched someone come to the stage with a microphone. Someone he knew well. Wen Qing stood there in a long sleeved red dress as she smiled. She spoke something Nie Mingjue wasn’t even sure he heard. His mind was still on the movie he just watched, a script written by his brother. He turned to look at his younger brother with a frown on his face then.

“What the hell is the meaning of this, di-di?” Nie Mingjue growled, demanding an answer and Nie Huaisang gulped. He knew his older brother would be very angry with him in just a couple of minutes.

“I had to help a friend tell his story.” Nie Huaisang asked and pointed with his head to the stage. Nie Mingjue turned just in time to see his love, his Lotus Flower, his lost lover come on stage. His eyes widened and his breath hitched. Had he finally reincarnated, Nie Mingjue wondered and listened to him speak, his heart breaking in a million pieces from longing.

He had missed that voice, that soft but fierce look in his eyes. He missed the defensive stance he always had, telling everyone around him that Jiang Cheng was ready to fight whenever and wherever. He missed that beautiful but shy smile. He missed his beautiful silver eyes and his black hair. He missed it all. He missed- no, he longed for his Jiang Cheng. And now he was there, alive and well.

At some point, the speech had ended. Nie Mingjue wasn’t sure when. He just remembered Nie Huaisang pulling him up from their seat and pulling him through hallway after hallway. Then he remembered coming to stand before the doors of the backstage after what felt like hours.

His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest when Huaisang threw the doors open and pulled him in. Jiang Cheng stood at the back of the room in front of a mirror. He was typing something on his phone and Wen Ning and Wen Qing stopped talking the second their eyes fell on Nie Mingjue. Nie Huaisang cleared his throat and Jiang Cheng snorted, still not looking up from his phone.

“Yes, A’Sang?” Jiang Cheng called and Nie Mingjue took a deep breath. His voice hadn’t changed.

“You’re gonna be mad with me but I’m gonna need you to turn around, A’Cheng.” Nie Huaisang said and Jiang Cheng snorted but looked up to the mirror, his eyes immediately locking with Nie Mingjue’s black ones. Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened and his phone nearly slipped from his hand. Jiang Cheng caught it though and he put it in the pocket of his jacket before he turned around.

His eyes were still wide and brows furrowed as he took two steps towards the Nie brothers. Wen Qing and Wen Ning looked at each other in confusion and worry, unsure of what to do.

“What-” He started to speak and then stopped. Jiang Cheng gulped, his eyes finally moving from Nie Mingjue to look at an apologetic Nie Huaisang. That look in his eyes was answer enough. Still, Jiang Cheng had to ask.

“That wasn’t my imagination, was it? Those were my memories, were they?” Jiang Cheng asked and Nie Huaisang gulped but nodded his head. Nie Mingjue couldn’t move.

“My heart-” He started and stopped when Jiang Cheng closed his eyes, almost as if the nickname caused him pain.

“Please- not now.” Jiang Cheng gave him a pleading look and Nie Mingjue shut his mouth. He was an immortal. If his love wasn’t ready to talk to him now, he could wait an eternity. Still, he didn’t miss the lost and confused look in Jiang Cheng’s eyes.

“You knew? This entire time?” Jiang Cheng asked the younger Nie brother with betrayal so clear in his eyes that even Nie Huaisang’s heart broke at the sight.

“A’Cheng, I’m sorry-” Nie Huaisang started to speak and moved to take his best friend’s hand only for Jiang Cheng to pull his arm back and shake his head.

“Don’t touch me!” Jiang Cheng said louder this time. Jiang Cheng looked at Nie Mingjue who wore so much longing in his eyes and on his sleeves, like an open book that Jiang Cheng remembered from his dreams. He took two steps back and saw Nie Huaisang close his mouth only for Jiang Cheng to turn and walk away, going to the doors that were next to the previous mirror.

Nie Mingjue moved to catch up to him only to be stopped by his brother’s hand on his arm. Nie Mingjue pulled his arm out of his hold harshly and walked away, in the direction in which Jiang Cheng walked away. He found himself at a parking lot shortly afterwards. He saw the love of his life walking towards his car quickly while he talked on the phone.

“Meet me at home.” He said as he walked quickly.

“A’Ning! Don’t ask me anything now! Just meet me there. And bring A’Qing as well.” Jiang Cheng growled through his teeth and quickly closed the doors of his car. Nie Mingjue watched Jiang Cheng gulp before he turned his car on and sped away from the movie theater.

Jiang Cheng felt betrayed. And this time, it was Nie Huaisang’s fault, Nie Mingjue thought before he turned around, ready to snatch his brother and force answers out of him.

 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“You knew I was longing for him! You knew I waited for him! You knew HIM in this life and you said NOTHING,A’Sang!” Nie Mingjue growled at home and Nie Huaisang sighed as he watched his distressed older brother.

“I swear I meant nothing bad by this, da-ge.” Nie Huaisang begged for understanding again and Nie Mingjue shook his head.

“You knew of his dreams! You knew those were our memories! You knew he was remembering ME- remembering US and what WE had! And you didn’t tell him anything. And now? He probably thinks I was in on this scheme of yours.” Nie Mingjue yelled and Nie Huaisang took a deep breath, trying to cover his flinch. His older brother never before yelled at him.

“A’Cheng is very much like he was before, da-ge. He’s very anxious in this life as well. And I didn’t know how he would react if I told him ANYTHING. I really didn’t know. And I knew if I told you, you would immediately go to him-” Huaisang spoke only to be interrupted by his brother again.

“Of course I would go to him. I love him. I’m IN love with him. My soul is burning right now because he is not next to me. I haven’t been able to look at anyone the way I looked at him, di-di. He is my soul. He is a part of me. He is my heart.” Nie Mingjue admitted as tears welled in his eyes and Nie Huaisang hummed.

“Exactly! You would go to him like the overprotective bear you are! But he is an anxious soul, da-ge. I didn’t know how he would react to me telling him the truth yet alone to you personally. I was terrified of overwhelming him before he remembered everything.” Nie Huaisang admitted, tears now streaming down his cheeks as well and Nie Mingjue sniffled as he sat back on the dark green sofa beside Nie Huaisang.

“He’s so beautiful- and bright like a star in the night sky. My beautiful heart has found his way back to me.” Nie Mingjue whispered as he looked out the window, at a starry night and Nie Huaisang sighed, clearly unsure of what to do now.

“Do you think he remembers how he died in his past life?” Nie Mingjue finally asked after a couple of minutes of silence and Nie Huaisang shook his head.

“No, not really. He seemed surprised by the ending when I offered him my script.”

“So he doesn’t know that it was his own brother who killed him back then.” Nie Mingjue said and Nie Huaisang hummed.

“Well, he does now.” Nie Huaisang said as he remembered the movie that just premiered. Nie Mingjue gulped and fell into a confusing silence as he debated on what to do next.

 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

In his mansion, Jiang Cheng paced around his living room while his best friend Wen Qing stood next to the window with her arms crossed at her chest. Wen Ning sat in a rocking chair as he watched Jiang Cheng pace around.

“Even you said nothing.” Jiang Cheng spoke as he paced and Wen Ning looked at him sadly.

“We wanted to. So many times we wanted to tell you the truth but we didn’t know how.” Wen Ning admitted and Jiang Cheng hummed, not even properly processing what he said.

“I mean- what the fuck am I meant to do now? He lied to me. You lied to me. Neither of you ever even gave me a hint that what I was dreaming wasn’t imagination. What the hell do I do now, Wen Ning? Wen Qing?” Jiang Cheng asked as he looked from one sibling to another. The siblings remained silent for a while though.

“We told you our reason but did you try to talk to Nie Huaisang?” Wen Qing asked and Jiang Cheng shook his head immediately. She sighed.

“I don’t think he did it to be mean. I doubt A’Sang has it in him to hurt you.” Wen Ning said and Jiang Cheng gulped as he looked around the room.

“What did it feel like to see Nie Mingjue?” Wen Ning asked and Jiang Cheng gulped, remembering the warmth and feeling of safety overwhelmed him immediately along with longing and unending sadness.

“Like I finally found what- or who- I was looking for this entire time.” Jiang Cheng admitted as tears welled up in his eyes and he gulped.

“Then why the confusion?” Wen Qing asked and Jiang Cheng took a deep breath, his eyes wet with unshed tears.

“Because this entire time I thought all of this- this entire movie- was just wishful thinking. I thought it was my imagination running wild even while asleep. I didn’t know I lived this centuries ago. I didn’t know the love story was real. I didn’t know it was MY and HIS story. I didn’t know I died at the hands of my brother. I know Wei Ying in this life and I never for a second thought him capable of killing me.” Jiang Cheng spoke, confusion so clear in his head that Wen Qing sighed, choosing to help him clear one of them.

“Then maybe you should talk to him. His story wasn’t easy either, A’Cheng.” Wen Qing offered an option and Jiang Cheng nodded his head.

 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was Wen Qing who set up a meeting between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. She prepared Wei Wuxian so that he knew Jiang Cheng was aware that the movie he produced was that of his own previous life. Now, they sat opposite of each other in silence for a couple of minutes before Jiang Cheng finally spoke.

“Why? What did you do, A’Ying?” Jiang Cheng asked and Wei Wuxian looked at him seriously for the first time since they met in this new life.

“What you asked me to.” Wei Wuxian answered, with no hint of joke or amusement in his voice. Jiang Cheng frowned.

“What?” He asked through tears and Wei Wuxian gulped as he blinked his own tears away before he leaned forwards, resting his elbows at his knees.

“Our mafia family gained a lot of enemies simply by surviving the attempted massacre years before your death. One day, before you started dating Nie Mingjue, you sat me down and forced me to promise you something.” Wei Wuxian began explaining as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He took a deep and shaky breath after that.

“What did I make you promise?” Jiang Cheng asked and Wei Wuxian finally let a sob come out, still mourning what he had to do back then. His regret never stopped eating at his soul. And soon it won’t stop eating Jiang Cheng’s soul.

“You knew if the Wens and the Jins got to you, you wouldn’t survive to see another day. You knew they would tear you apart. You even feared they might force themselves on you to mess with your parents. So, you made me promise that should they ever be within arms reach, I would kill you.” Wei Wuxian spoke and Jiang Cheng gasped in shock.

“You knew they wouldn’t touch me because they knew the Violet Spider, Madam Yu, didn’t care for me. But she cared for you so they would come after you. And you wanted to make sure you wouldn’t give them what they wanted.” Wei Wuxian admitted through tears and now Jiang Cheng was crying too. The Wen siblings just watched them talk.

“That day- it was raining a lot. They found you when you were with Wen Qing. She dragged you through the woods to save you but at some point you split up, you told her to find me and bring me to you. She found me when I was playing pool table with Nie Huaisang. The Nie butchers and I ran to get to you. I was the one who found you first though.” Wei Wuxian spoke as his eyes suddenly became distant, tears still streaming down his face. Wei Wuxian sniffled and continued to speak.

“You were at the edge of the cliff, sobbing as you turned to me. ‘Its time to do as promised, Wei Wuxian. Pull the trigger.’ you told me. I didn’t want to. Lords above know I didn’t want to do it. But then the Wens were behind me and I couldn’t wait for the Nie brothers to find us so I took my gun out and pulled the trigger as promised.” Wei Wuxian admitted as his lip quivered and he started to sob loudly. Wen Ning put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. Jiang Cheng put his face into his hands as he sobbed now too.

“I mourned. I never stopped mourning. I couldn’t forgive myself and the Nie butchers couldn’t forgive me either.” Wei Wuxian said and Jiang Cheng finally looked up, his eyes red from crying.

“They didn’t know of our deal?” He asked and Wei Wuxian shook his head.

“No. You never told them. And I assumed you didn’t want me to tell them either. I deserved the hate anyways.” Wei Wuxian admitted and Jiang Cheng shook his head.

“You didn’t! So you let them loathe you for centuries? You carried this secret for centuries on your own? No one knew?” Jiang Cheng asked through tears. Wei Wuxian only sobbed harder and shook his head.

“No one knew the truth for years until I got drunk and told it to Lan Wangji. He knew I was hiding something that was killing me so he used my drunk mind and asked me what it was. I told him everything.” Wei Wuxian admitted and Jiang Cheng shook his head through tears.

“So this entire time Nie Mingjue went on through his life, not knowing why you pulled the trigger? Not knowing and hating you for it?” Jiang Cheng asked through his own tears.

“Yes.” Wei Wuxian said and then they heard a knock on the doors. Wen Qing got up and opened the doors. She was a bit startled when she saw Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue on the other side of the doors.

“What are you doing here?” She asked in her usual calm voice and Jiang Cheng tensed when he heard them speak.

“We were hoping to talk to A’Cheng. We have a lot to clear up.” Nie Huaisang admitted and Jiang Cheng did not dare turn around, his face still in his hands while his elbows rested on his knees. Nie Mingjue saw Wei Wuxian sitting beside him with a hand on his back. His eyes were full of tears and his face red.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Nie Mingjue growled out and he heard Jiang Cheng sob again before he calmed down.

He felt his heart break again for the second time in his life then. Wen Qing cleared her throat and Mingjue looked back to her, to the woman who centuries ago ran into his home, begging him to help save her best friend from her own clan. A woman who also had to watch Wei Wuxian corner Jiang Cheng at the edge of the cliff only to put a bullet in his head. That same woman now shielded Wei Wuxian away from them.

“Wen Qing! What the hell is that man doing next to him after everything?” Nie Mingjue spoke a bit sterner this time around and Wen Qing raised her chin up.

“Nothing is as it seems, Nie Mingjue. Give him time to come to terms with what he learned. After all, we did all lie to him and hide his previous life from him. Let him come to terms with who he was. I know he will contact you once that day comes.” Wen Qing spoke and Nie Mingjue clenched his jaw, wondering why Wei Wuxian was allowed to his side when he wasn’t but he nodded his head anyways, not wanting to cause any issues for Jiang Cheng. He turned around and left without a word with Nie Huaisang following closely behind.

Nothing is as it seems, she had said and Nie Mingjue could not help but wonder what she meant by that.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng didn’t cry himself to sleep that night but he wished he had. Once Wen Ning and Wen Qing had gone to their own home he had sat down in front of his television and turned on the movie that just premiered that day. The movie that changed the trajectory of his life. He watched it from beginning to end, listening to every word uttered by each character as he tried to accept the fact that this movie was that of his past life.

He didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t remember his entire past life, just bits and pieces here and there according to the movie and his dreams. He didn’t really understand what he felt for Nie Mingjue back then until he laid his eyes on him and felt his heart stop beating for a moment. He turned off the television once the movie was over and went to his room to sleep, hoping no dreams would invade his sleep this time around.

Fate seemed to have other plans for him though. The second he felt himself slip into sleep, the first memory emerged. It was the one that made his heart skip a beat again. It also just so happens to be the same memory Nie Mingjue was thinking about that night before he went to sleep.

***

It was before the Massacre. All the major mafia families were at a ball together. They liked to say it was to put out the bad blood between rivaling families. Jiang Cheng never believed that bullshit. He knew they were all seizing each other up. So, he stood in a corner with Nie Mingjue as they drank some alcoholic beverages. Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian were together somewhere in the ballroom, doing what they did best and mingling.

People were dancing in the middle of the room while Jiang Cheng watched Wen Chao stare at him across the room. He looked away and focused his attention on something other than the disgusting pig staring at him. How he wished Nie Mingjue would look at him, would even stare at him just once. He never did though. Or that was what he thought.

That was the night Nie Mingjue, the Butcher of the Nie Family knew with absolute certainty that Jiang Cheng was his soulmate, his one and only. At some point he had turned to look at Jiang Cheng and took a shaky breath, not that the younger man noticed.

“Dance with me.” He had said and watched Jiang Cheng frown as he turned to look at him.

“You don’t dance, Mingjue.” Jiang Cheng had said and Nie Mingjue only smirked.

“I feel like it tonight.” He said and Jiang Cheng laughed, forcing Nie Mingjue to smile. Jiang Cheng didn’t dare ask why he didn’t ask someone else to dance with him so he just nodded his head.

Nie Mingjue offered him his hand and Jiang Cheng gladly took it. Maybe he could share this intimate moment with him just once and then forget about his feelings again, he thought as Nie Mingjue pulled him to the dance floor. He put his arm around Jiang Cheng’s small waist and pulled him towards himself, making their chests touch the tiniest bit.

Jiang Cheng gulped and stopped himself from saying whatever it was he was going to say and just started to move along with Nie Mingjue. If people stared at them, he hadn’t noticed. And if Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang high fived each other in the corner of the ballroom, neither of the two noticed either.

Nie Mingjue felt something click within his soul that night and he just knew. Judging by the look in Jiang Cheng’s eyes, he knew it too. Jiang Fengmian looked ready to intervene but was pulled back by Madam Yu who looked proudly at her son. Let him chase his happiness when she couldn’t chase hers, she thought.

“You’re staring.” Jiang Cheng whispered after a while and felt Nie Mingjue grip his waist even tighter, pulling him closer.

“So are you, Lotus Flower.” Nie Mingjue whispered back, using the nickname for the first time, forcing Jiang Cheng to blush. And if they intertwined their fingers and their lips brushed only barely, no one dared say a word of it.

Then his dreams were overwhelmed by all the words unsaid, by all the stolen glances after that night, by all the longing between them, by all the kisses and moaning under the stars. He had lost count of how many times he heard Nie Mingjue tell him how much he loved him. He had lost count of how many times Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian tried to make them confess to each other.

He had lost count of how many times he trained with Nie Mingjue after the Massacre and how much the man helped him out through that trauma. No memory of the massacre popped up yet though. He remembered how many times Nie Mingjue tried to start the conversation of Jiang Cheng becoming Immortal too, but Jiang Cheng refused to talk about it every time. Back then, he didn’t want to live forever.

He lost count of how many times the Butcher of the Nie Family had kissed his palm, his knuckles or his pulse point where his heartbeat could be felt as a reminder of his fragile mortality. Nie Mingjue was only ever gentle with Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng. No one else ever got to see this side of him. Not even his best friend Lan Xichen.

Then one day Nie Mingjue had gone along with Jiang Cheng to the animal shelter, knowing that Jiang Cheng walked those dogs every week as a way to fill the hole of not being able to have a pet because of Wei Wuxian’s phobia. Nie Mingjue fell for Jiang Cheng even harder when he saw how kind he was to all of those dogs.

Their numbers didn’t seem to overwhelm him at all and Nie Mingjue remembered his mortality once more that day, feeling a smile fall off his face.

“We really need to talk about your Immortality, A’Cheng.” Nie Mingjue tried to start the conversation again and Jiang Cheng looked at him seriously as he shook his head.

“Not now, Mingjue. Not now.” He said before he turned his attention back to the dogs running around.

***

Jiang Cheng woke up covered in sweat and his heart beating quicker than it should be. He turned to look at the clock beside his bed and sighed when he saw that it was only 2 am.

They loved each other a lot, he realizes. He feels his heart nearly physically break in his chest and he lets out a small sob as a few tears roll down his cheeks. Why couldn’t he have remembered earlier? Just why?

Jiang Cheng turned to his other side in the bed and tried to go back to sleep. He is so exhausted from the day that it doesn’t even take him long to fall asleep again. The memories that overwhelm him this time are not as nice as the previous ones were.

***

 

The attempted Massacre had started out of nowhere. In one moment he was having a Family dinner with his loved ones and in the next one there were shots outside and cries from the commoners. His father’s right hand man had run into the dining room with wide eyes.

“Yunmeng is under siege, sir!” He had said and that was enough for all of them to immediately stand up, their dinner long forgotten.

“Zixuan, go to the bunker with Yanli.” Fengmian immediately ordered and Jin Zixuan shook his head.

“No, I’m going to help.” He said only for Fengmian to glare at him.

“You will help by protecting your wife and son. Now, go!” Jiang Fengmian spoke firmer this time and Jin Zixuan clenched his jaw but nodded his head and led Yanli and their son away.

So much had happened from then on. That was also the day when Jiang Cheng lost any respect for his father he still had. He froze. He didn’t know what to do. The only reason Yunmeng and his family survived that attack was because Madam Yu took charge along with Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Cheng had even called Nie Mingjue and asked for help while he quickly explained the situation. Nie Huaisang seemed to have overheard what was going on and could be heard in the background immediately gathering their people.

“Hide, please, Jiang Cheng. Hide until I get there.” Nie Mingjue had begged and seemed to have angered Jiang Cheng for the first time since they met years before.

“I will not hide while my people die out there! Just please get here as soon as possible.” Jiang Cheng snapped and Nie Mingjue gulped.

“I will be there. Just- be careful.” Nie Mingjue spoke and was then hung up on. They hadn’t even had a chance to confess to one another and if Nie Mingjue lost Jiang Cheng before he got to do that he would never forgive himself.

Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian and Madam Yu put their damn lives on the line that day. A while passed since the phone call. Jiang Cheng knew that the Nies were there with their people now. He had seen their dark green robes flying around but he didn’t seem to have time to find Nie Mingjue or Nie Huaisang.

While he was looking around, he heard a shot that was too close. Then he felt a piercing pain in his chest. Jiang Cheng looked in front of himself to see Wen Chao firing mercilessly at him. Jiang Cheng ducked and tried to hide behind the rubble but to no avail, his strength failed him after Wen Chao nearly tore his chest open. He had been shot at least six times, he was sure.

He pulled himself to a sitting position after having fallen down. He didn’t even remember falling down. Jiang Cheng felt his back crack as he moved to sit with his back to the rubble. Blood poured out of his chest and stomach like a river, but he had no time to feel pain. He hoped his adrenaline wouldn’t fail him until Yunmeng was safe.

He had no time to hear or see the Nie brothers running towards him from his right. Jiang Cheng leaned to the right, away from Wen Chao’s bullets and towards Sandu, his automatic weapon. He picked it up from the ground with a groan and rested it on a giant rubble wall before him. He had no strength to hold it up now.

Jiang Cheng pointed it towards the marching Wen gang and towards Wen Chao. Then he started to fire. Once the bullets were gone, Jiang Cheng let Sandu drop to the floor and started to cough up blood, his shirt now drenched with his own blood. Then he started to laugh as he watched half the Wen men die on the battlefield from his bullets.

He didn’t hear the Nie brothers run up to him. He didn’t even properly feel Nie Mingjue’s worried hands on his face until he opened his eyes a bit more, focusing them on the face of the person in front of him. He started to cough up blood again and then fell unconscious.

“Huaisang, kill them all!” Nie Mingjue yelled and watched his reluctant brother march into the open fire, ready to finish what Nie Mingjue couldn’t. Not now when Jiang Cheng was dying.

“Don’t you dare die on me, A’Cheng. Do you hear me? Don’t die. Please. Please don’t die.” Nie Mingjue whispered to him as he slowly picked him up despite the furrowed brows and a groan full of pain coming from Jiang Cheng.

“I know. I know it hurts but endure for just a little while, Lotus Flower. Please.” Nie Mingjue spoke as he looked up to see Nie Huaisang had done as he said. He began to quickly walk to his car, hoping it wasn’t too damaged.

He was soon stopped by Madam Yu who froze at the sight of her son. Tears began to stream down her face. No one had ever before seen the stone cold woman cry.

“My baby boy- what have they done to you? My sweet boy-” She whispered as she caressed Jiang Cheng’s cheek and Nie Mingjue moved past her, leaving Nie Huaisang behind to explain what happened. Wei Wuxian stood at the side with his eyes wide open as he watched Jiang Cheng gently be put in Nie Mingjue’s car.

Wei Wuxian himself had a bullet wound in his arm and a giant open wound on his head but he didn’t look as bad as Jiang Cheng did.

Jiang Cheng nearly died and his heart stopped beating twice while on the operating table. It is safe to say that Nie Mingjue nearly felt his own Immortality slip through his fingers both times.

He made a plan with Madam Yu that Jiang Cheng would stay at the Nie Estate once he woke up. Yunmeng needed to be rebuilt and so Nie Mingjue sent them his builders and his people to help. But Jiang Cheng should be somewhere where he is protected while his home is being rebuilt.

“How do you know he’ll be safe with me? I’m not called the Butcher for nothing.” Nie Mingjue spoke and watched the stone cold woman level him with a glare that asked if he thought she was stupid.

“You may fool others but you can’t fool me, boy. I used to be known as the Spider before I married. I know you’re in love with my boy. I know you will do anything to protect him.” She spoke and walked away. Nie Mingjue did not even try to argue. She was right. Madam Yu was always right.

Jiang Cheng was ready to leave the hospital two weeks later. Despite how many times the Nie brothers tried to talk to him about what happened, Jiang Cheng refused, he kept changing the subject. And so neither of the two wanted to push him too much. He had, after all, been through something terrible.

Three months passed of Jiang Cheng slowly recovering at the Nie Estate. It is safe to say he felt safe there. He didn’t have nightmares, but he could not stop thinking of what happened whenever he was awake. He spent most of the time in the training area of their estate. The brothers didn’t question him but Nie Mingjue did get to watch him cherish his rage and thirst for revenge. Jiang Cheng won’t rest until Wen Chao paid for what he did to his family home, to his family, for what he nearly did to him. Only Nie Huaisang noticed the stolen glances between the two men.

A week later, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng were sparring together when Jiang Cheng was hit by Nie Huaisang’s tick at the side of his head. Jiang Cheng knew Nie Huaisang didn’t use his entire strength but it still hurt and so he cursed.

“Admit to your feelings and I’ll stop beating your ass, A’Cheng.” Nie Huaisang spoke and Jiang Cheng frowned as he tilted his head to the side, not seeing Nie Mingjue watching them from his office. He wasn’t able to hear them from there but he could see them.

“Feelings? What feelings?” Jiang Cheng asked, genuinely confused and Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes.

“Don’t pretend you’re stupid. We both know you aren’t.” He said and spun the stick in his hand only for Jiang Cheng to frown even more.

“I literally have no idea what you’re talking about, A’Sang. Feeling of rage after what happened? Feeling of hatred for Wen Chao? Feeling of thirst for blood? Or feeling of annoyance right now?” He asked and Nie Huaisang laughed before he stopped walking and looked him right in the eyes.

“The feelings you have for my brother, A’Cheng.” He said and Jiang Cheng froze as his eyes widened and his stick fell from his hands. Nie Mingjue stood up in worry, confused as to what they were talking about. Oh how he wished he had supernatural hearing right now, he thought.

“Don’t tell me you’re surprised I noticed? We’ve all seen the stolen glances you throw each other’s way. We’ve all seen the tension that night at the ball. I’ve seen him panic that night of the Massacre as he rushed you to the hospital. I’ve seen his own heart nearly give out when yours stopped twice. Do I need to go on?” Nie Huaisang asked and Jiang Cheng took a deep breath as he moved to sit on a giant rock behind him. He looked at his best friend and shook his head.

“Who else knows?” He asked and Nie Huaisang smiled gently.

“Wei Wuxian. Jiang Yanli. Wen Qing. Wen Ning. Madam Yu. Jiang Fengmian. Lan Wangji. Lan Xichen. Meng Yao. Hell, even Jin Zixuan noticed.” Huaisang listed off the names and Jiang Cheng closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.

“He doesn’t know though?” He asked and Nie Huaisang shook his head.

“Good. Let it stay that way.” Jiang Cheng spoke and Huaisang frowned now.

“Why? He’s mad about you, A’Cheng. You both deserve to be happy.” Huaisang said and Jiang Cheng looked at him with a sad look in his eyes.

“Nothing good will come out of me confessing, A’Sang. You both are Immortals. I am not. I will eventually die and hurt him in the process. I could never forgive myself if I hurt him.”

“But A’Cheng, there is a way to make you Immortal too. Why won’t you let us do this for you? Your entire family has turned, why won’t you?” Huaisang asked and Jiang Cheng gulped as he looked at him.

“If I wanted to be Immortal once, I no longer do. I can’t see anything good in me living forever after what happened, with this rage growing in my heart. Just please, don’t tell him, A’Sang.” Jiang Cheng spoke and Nie Huaisang reluctantly nodded his head after taking a deep breath. He could not understand why Jiang Cheng was punishing himself for what happened. Why when it was never his fault? Why was he denying himself happiness?

Nie Huaisang didn’t try to influence Jiang Cheng’s decision anymore but he sure did try his best to make his older brother confess first. Eventually, he succeeded. Nie Mingjue just had to find the right moment because he really needed to say those words. He needed Jiang Cheng to know.

One late evening or early morning, Nie Mingjue found Jiang Cheng in the training room, wide awake with knives displayed before him.

“Are you okay?” Nie Mingjue had asked and watched Jiang Cheng only hum without looking up.

“Yes.” Jiang Cheng answered shortly.

“So sharpening knives at two am is just your hobby?” Nie Mingjue jokingly asked, forcing Jiang Cheng to finally look at him, his eyes hard and angry still.

“No, but plotting destruction of those who brought me to this stage is.” He answered and returned to sharpening his knives. Nie Mingjue didn’t move. He remained standing at the doorway as he watched him in silence from then on. Jiang Cheng, who once appreciated the noise, did not seem to mind the silence now.

A couple of days later, Nie Mingjue finds Jiang Cheng standing alone in the training room, not moving. He called his name a few times but Jiang Cheng didn’t give a sign of hearing him so Nie Mingjue leaned at the doorway with his arms crossed and waited to be acknowledged. Seeing once cheerful and happy Jiang Cheng become a shell of his former self was breaking his heart.

Jiang Cheng had just returned from the Jiang Manor and Nie Mingjue imagined that his day hadn’t been easy. His parents refused to speak of the horrors of the attempted Massacre. They barely even talked anymore, almost as if they were mentally still stuck in a time before the attempt.

Jiang Yanli, his older sister, seemed constantly tired and barely even spoke to her husband who worried immensely for her. Wei Wuxian tried to cover his terror through bad jokes and spent all his time with Lan Wangji. None of them even tried to talk to Jiang Cheng once about it. After all, he was the one who was in the worst shape that night. No one cared to even try, except for the Nie brothers.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng sniffled, his shoulders dropping as he threw the long knife to the floor and turned around to leave the training room only to freeze at the sight of Nie Mingjue, the man he was deeply and irrevocably in love with.

“You okay, Lotus Flower?” Nie MIngjue asked softly and Jiang Cheng sniffled again as he shook his head, his lower lip trembling.

“No, I don’t think I am. But I- I think I really need a hug, Mingjue.” Jiang Cheng admitted and watched Nie Mingjue open his arms without a second of waiting, without questions. Jiang Cheng did not even try to resist as he fell into his arms.

Nie Mingjue hugged him tightly to his chest as he sobbed.

“I’m so damn scared all the time.” Jiang Cheng admitted through tears and Nie Mingjue’s heart broke into a million pieces for him.

“I’m still stuck in that night. I can’t seem to leave. And none of them want to talk about it. Everyone wants to pretend it never happened. But I- I’m terrified and I do not know what to do.” Jiang Cheng admitted and Nie Huaisang whimpered from the doorway before he stepped forwards and hugged Jiang Cheng from behind, trapping him in a safe, genuinely secure hug. Jiang Cheng sobbed harder and Nie Mingjue’s jaw clenched tightly.

“We will have retribution, Lotus Flower. We will kill ten of them for every tear you let out.” Nie Mingjue promised and kissed the top of Jiang Cheng’s head. Nie Huaisang looked at his older brother and nodded his head, a hard look in his eyes present as well.

It is a day later that Jiang Cheng sat Wei Wuxian down and forced him to make him a promise that doomed them all later. And while Jiang Cheng knew it would hurt a lot of people when the day for Wei Wuxian to pull a trigger came, he also knew he wasn’t ready to be captured by Wen Chao.
“When they come for us, you have to do what I can’t. Don’t let them take me.” Jiang Cheng spoke and watched Wei Wuxian shake his head immediately with his eyes wide open.

“Don’t say things like that. We’ll find another way.” He begged, not ready to make this promise. Had Jiang Cheng gone mad after the Massacre he wondered.

“You always think there’s another way. This time, there isn’t.” Jiang Cheng spoke, a calm but angry look in his eyes.

“You’re asking me to—”

“I’m asking you to save me. Promise me you’ll keep me free, whatever it costs. You’ll pull the trigger if needed.” Wei Wuxian shook his head, eyes wide and desperate for another way, for another solution.

“A-Cheng-”

“Please. I’m not ready to die their prisoner.” Jiang Cheng begged as he reached out to take Wei Wuxian’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, a small reassurance that it was okay.

“Swear it. If it comes to that, you’ll make sure they never break me.” Jiang Cheng said again as he gave him a pointed look. Wei Wuxian gulped as he looked ready to throw up or to run away; or both.<

“I swear.” He promised, unsure that he would be able to pull the trigger when needed.

Silence had filled the moment from then on. Both of them knew what Wei Wuxian had just agreed to without either of them ever saying the words properly out loud.

 

A couple of weeks later, Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng sparred. Jiang Cheng who had gotten so much stronger and skilled since he started to stay with the Nie brothers. Jiang Cheng followed a drop of sweat down Nie Mingjue’s neck one moment and in the next one he was on the floor with Nie Mingjue hovering over him with a smile on his face. Jiang Cheng tried to push him off, but to no avail. Nie Mingjue was simply too strong. Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure how long they were trapped like this. His eyes studied Nie Mingjue’s sharp and handsome face, going over his eyebrows, nose, eyelashes, eyes and then to his mouth. Then he tried to push him away again.

“Get off me.” Jiang Cheng whispered after a while and Nie Mingjue only smiled.

“Are you sure? You looked like you were enjoying the view there.” Nie Mingjue whispered and Jiang Cheng gulped as he looked away, a blush creeping up his face.

“No need to feel ashamed. I’m definitely enjoying the view, my heart. Nie Mingjue spoke and Jiang Cheng turned to look at him again, a hopeful look in his eyes despite what he told Nie Huaisang that one time.

“What does that even mean?” He whispered, uncertainty still dancing in his silver eyes. Nie Mingjue caressed his cheek gently and whispered only for him to hear the next words.

“It means that I’m in love with you, Lotus Flower.” Nie Mingjue whispered and Jiang Cheng gulped before he nodded his head, an answer to the silent question in Nie Mingjue’s eyes.

“I’m in love with you too.” He whispered and Nie Mingjue smiled widely as he leaned down and stole a gentle kiss.

Nie Huaisang was very smug about it the moment he found out. And Wei Wuxian even tried to come over to educate Jiang Cheng on proper man on man mating as he called it. Jiang Cheng kicked him out of the Estate the second Wei Wuxian said the sentence.

A couple of weeks later Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng were watching a movie together. Jiang Cheng’s head laid in Nie Mingjue’s lap while the Butcher gently braided his hair during their movie marathon.

“A’Cheng, about the Immortality-” Nie Mingjue started to speak and watched as Jiang Cheng’s shoulders tensed. Jiang Cheng reached back to squeeze Nie Mingjue’s hand as he cleared his throat.

“Please, my heart- not now.” Jiang Cheng whispered and Nie Mingjue dropped the subject once more.

They spent the next few days in bliss until Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng were leaving the Nie vacation home in the woods and were shocked to see Wen cars emerging from behind the hill.

“Wen Qing, go. Run. GO and find my heart. Bring them to me.” Jiang Cheng spoke and after a couple of seconds of fighting, Wen Qing turned to her bike and drove off as Jiang Cheng drove off on his own bike towards the woods. He only drove for a couple of minutes before a gunshot sounded off and his bike swerved off the path. He fell off and wasted no time to get up and run.

He could hear Wen Chao laughing in the background as he and his ugly dogs ran after him. He didn’t know how long he was running but he stopped and hid behind a giant tree at some point. His heart stopped when he heard Wen Chao whistling.

“Oh come out, come out, wherever you are, Jiang Heir. It is time for you to die.” Wen Chao spoke and Jiang Cheng looked down to his shaking hands, cursing himself for being so damn weak. All those training sessions and words and promises of revenge meant nothing in the face of danger.

“I’ll find you and you know that, Jiang Cheng. Come out now and I promise you a quick death.” Wen Chao spoke mockingly and Jiang Cheng forced his feet to remain planted. One could and should never trust an enemy, he thought. Then he heard the Wen people run to a different direction for some reason and when he was sure the coast was clear, Jiang Cheng began to run in the opposite direction too.

He didn’t run for long before he ended up on the edge of the cliff, nearly falling off. Someone had taken a hold of his jacket though and pulled him back. Wei Wuxian’s face came to light and Jiang Cheng sighed in slight relief. Then he heard the Wens coming their way and his eyes widened.

The woods were burning behind them. Every shout from the enemy lines sounded closer than the last. Jiang Cheng’s breath came in shudders; his legs would not hold him anymore. Wei Wuxian caught him under the arm, dragging him toward the cliff’s edge, eyes wild and shining with terror, ready to jump off with him to save him even if it meant both of them would die.

“Don’t,” Jiang Cheng whispered through rapid inhales of air. “You promised you’d keep me free.”

Wei Wuxian shook his head, tears streaking down his face, his voice breaking. “I promised to save you. The Nies are on their way”

“You know what that means.” His voice was almost gentle now, almost calm. “The Nies can’t be here on time. Do it before they reach us.”

In the trees beyond, Nie Mingjue was running, breaking through smoke and falling ash, calling their names. The moment he saw them—two silhouettes at the edge of the drop—his heart seized.

Wei Wuxian’s hands trembled as he held a gun pointed to Jiang Cheng’s, his heart’s head. A single sound escaped him—half sob, half denial. The gun fired just as Wen Chao came to the clearing.

Then came silence. A rush of wind. Mingjue reached the clearing just as the world went still and he screamed in terror along with Nie Huaisang while they watched Jiang Cheng slowly fall off the cliff, with a bullet hole in his head made from Wei Wuxian’s, his own brother’s gun.

He fell to his knees, too late to stop anything, staring at the empty cliffside where two brothers had stood and now only one remained, where only the scent of gunpowder and jasmine now lingered.

His eyes fell to a frozen Wei Wuxian whose hand shook as tears streamed down his face while he watched the river beneath the cliff welcome his dead brother.

Wei Wuxian turned around to look at the two brothers with no tears in his eyes anymore, a cold look in his face as he blinked and ran off in the opposite direction, leaving the Nie Brothers and Wen Chao to watch the empty cliff’s edge in shocked silence.

The anger came later and Wen Chao and his men paid with their lives for what happened that day. Nie Mingjue swam up and down the river for months, looking for a corpse to bury but found nothing. After three months of no results, he came home to the Nie Estate and put a bounty on Wei Wuxian’s head.

***

 

Jiang Cheng woke up covered in sweat and tears streaming down his face. He reached for the phone on the nightstand and dialed the number of Nie Huaisang, his best friend in any lifetime.

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng sat on the edge of his bed, the phone pressed to his ear as it rang. His head felt like it was going to explode as he looked out the window to the starry night. He could barely hear the dial tone over the sound of his own heartbeat. He had left the light off, knowing that if he were to turn it on, the headache would become even worse.

“...A’Cheng?” Nie Huaisang’s voice came through, rough with sleep. “It’s two in the morning. What’s wrong?”

“I remember.” The words left Jiang Cheng’s mouth before he could stop them.

Silence stretched between the two friends as minutes passed without either saying anything. Then, softly—“What do you mean, you remember?”

“The cliff. The fire. Wen Chao. Wei Wuxian. Mingjue.” Jiang Cheng’s throat tightened on the last word. He didn’t even realize how much he had missed him. He was sure that a part of him missed Nie Mingjue even when Jiang Cheng didn’t know anything of his past life.

“I remember everything.”

He heard rustling on the other side of the line, the sharp intake of breath Huaisang always made when he was trying not to cry.

“A’Cheng…do you- should I- do you want me to be there?” Nie Huaisang’s uncertain voice had come through and Jiang Cheng sighed, wishing he could cry. But he seemed unable to do so since he woke up.

“Yes please. But- can you- are they still-” Jiang Cheng found himself unable to finish his sentence. Nie Huaisang seemed to understand what he wanted to say anyways.

“All of them are dead. We killed them the second you fell off that cliff. You’re safe. Don’t worry.” Nie Huaisang promised and Jiang Cheng could hear him put his jacket on.

“Should I- A’Cheng- should I bring da-ge?” Nie Huaisang whispered, uncertainty filling his voice again and Jiang Cheng gulped.

“Not yet. I’ll see him soon. I promise. I just- it hurts so much to remember right now.” Jiang Cheng whispered, almost as if he was embarrassed to even say it out loud. He could hear keys and a car turning on from the other side of the phone though.

“Okay. That’s okay. You’re entitled to your feelings. I’ll be there. I’m on my way, okay?” Nie Huaisang spoke as he sped through the city. He was at Jiang Cheng’s penthouse in minutes.

He knocked hesitantly and the second Jiang Cheng opened the doors he sighed sadly. He looked so broken and sad, so uncertain and unlike himself that Nie Huaisang pushed his way into his penthouse, closed the doors and then he pulled his best friend into a tight hug.
It was only then that Jiang Cheng started to cry, all the pain and fear of his past life overwhelming him.

“It’ll be okay. Let it all out.” Nie Huaisang spoke softly as he caressed his back. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here. All of us are here for you.” Nie Huaisang whispered and Jiang Cheng knew he meant not only himself and Nie Mingjue but his friends too.

They weren’t physically there then but Jiang Cheng knew Wen Ning and Wen Qing would help and be there for him if needed. Hell, he even knew Wei Wuxian would be there, with all his guilt and regret and fear. But he would be there too. Even Lan Wangji, who wasn’t the biggest talker of their friend group, would help if needed.

And Jiang Cheng knew that even though he hasn’t met Madam Yu in this life, she was itching to meet him and she would burn it all down for her son, as an apology for her failures in his past life. Still, Jiang Cheng wasn’t ready to meet her. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready to meet her.

“How did it all get so damn messed up and bloody so damn fast back then?” He had asked and Nie Huaisang sighed and only hugged him tighter, unsure of what to tell him since he didn’t have an answer for this question himself either.

“You shouldn’t have had to remember it all at the same time. Not like this.” Nie Huaisang whispered. He wanted to trigger Jiang Cheng’s past life memories by bringing his older brother to their premiere. He did not, however, want Jiang Cheng to remember it all in a span of a few days.

“But I did,” Jiang Cheng snapped, voice breaking. He finally let go of Nie Huaisang as he walked to the living room, knowing that his best friend would follow him without him needing to say a word. “And you knew. All this time—you knew.”

Nie Huaisang was silent for a while. There was no denial, no clever evasion. Just quiet resignation.

“I did. I didn’t know if telling you would help or destroy you again.”

Jiang Cheng’s laugh was humorless. “Destroy me again? What do you think this is, Huaisang?”

He closed his eyes, his voice dropping into a whisper. “I saw him. Mingjue. In the woods. Right before—” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “He looked at me like the world was ending. And maybe it did.”

Huaisang was silent for a long while as he watched him before he said, “He hasn’t stopped looking for you since that night. He swore he’d find you, no matter how many lifetimes it took.”

Jiang Cheng gulped as he looked at his best friend. “And now?”

“Now he knows you’re alive. And I think you should tell him the truth before the memories tear both of you apart. You’ve been alive for twenty five years now, A’Cheng. He never died. He was drowning in memories of you two as he waited for you to return.” Nie Huaisang spoke sadly, a far away look in his eyes, almost as if he himself was remembering something in the past as well.

Jiang Cheng wanted to argue. He wanted to say that he wasn’t ready despite itching to go to Nie Mingjue, to hug him tightly—that knowing and feeling were two different things—but all that came out was a broken whisper.

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

“You’re still you,” Huaisang said softly, a reassuring smile finding its way to his face. “You always were. Even when you didn’t remember him.”
The silence fell upon them again after that, both of them just breathing as they tried to think of what to say next. There was no script for this conversation, Nie Huaisang thought. They were two old friends reconnecting, the conversation organic and raw as it broke a piece of them to remember the past over and over again until they finally came to terms with what went down back then.

Finally, Huaisang spoke, voice barely audible. “He’s at the lake house. The same one from before. Go to him.”

Jiang Cheng’s gaze drifted toward the window, where the first hint of dawn was bleeding into the horizon. For the first time since the memories came back, he felt something other than fear. It was small, fragile—hope, maybe. Or just the ache of inevitability. He wasn’t really sure.

“I don’t know if I can face him.”

“You don’t have to be ready or afraid,” Huaisang said. “Just go. I know he will love to see you. And I think that you would love to see him too.” Huaisang said and waited for Jiang Cheng to react. He knew that Jiang Cheng was confused due to the newly resurfaced memories but if Nie Huaisang was certain of anything, it was that it would do both Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng good to see each other.

The following day, Jiang Cheng did as Nie Huaisang suggested and went to the lake house.

—----

The Nie Estate was quiet at dawn, the lake outside quiet as Jiang Cheng walked the path towards the house. The mist hung low over the courtyard, curling around the stone lanterns like something alive. Jiang Cheng stood at the entrance of the house for a long moment, his pulse thrumming in his ears.

 

He had been here before — in another lifetime, another body, another name. The walls hadn’t changed. The faint smell of sandalwood and metal still lingered in the air. Every breath brought back memories of laughter, of blood, of hands that once held him through nightmares. Memories of hands that protected him, of a heart that only had a place for him in its home, of eyes that were only ever on him- no one else.

 

He wasn’t sure what terrified him more — seeing Nie Mingjue again, or seeing the look in his eyes when he realized Jiang Cheng remembered. He remembered it all.

The heavy door opened before he could raise his hand to knock. Nie Huaisang stood there, his expression unreadable for once.

“He’s been awake all night,” Huaisang said quietly, a small smile on his face. “I told him you remembered.”

Jiang Cheng’s throat felt dry. “And?”

“And he didn’t say a word. Just- sat there.” Huaisang stepped aside. “He’s in the training hall.”

Jiang Cheng walked in, each step heavier than the last. He could hear his own heartbeat — and, beneath it, the faint echo of a voice from another time.

‘Don’t die, Lotus Flower. Please.’

Nie Mingjue was standing with his back to him when he entered. His hair was shorter now, tied loosely. The same broad shoulders, the same quiet stillness. When he turned around, the world seemed to stop.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

Then Mingjue took one slow step forward, and another. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides like he didn’t know whether to reach out or stay still. It was almost as if he was afraid that one wrong move would make Jiang Cheng run from him- as if he could ever run from his heart.

“You remember,” he said — not a question, but a statement, heavy with disbelief and something close to hope.

Jiang Cheng nodded, his voice barely a whisper. “Everything.”

Mingjue exhaled shakily, his control finally slipping. “I looked for you,” he said. “For months. I searched every river, every shadow. I thought—” His voice cracked. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”

“You did for a while,” Jiang Cheng said softly. “You lost me. And I lost you. I’m so sorry about it all, about all the secrecy. But we’re here now.”
Mingjue stepped closer, the distance between them shrinking to nothing. His hand rose, trembling slightly, before it stopped inches from Jiang Cheng’s cheek. “Are you real?”

Jiang Cheng leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “Do I feel real?”

Mingjue’s breath hitched — and then his hand was on Jiang Cheng’s face, rough thumb brushing against soft skin, as though trying to memorize it all over again.

“I should be angry,” Mingjue whispered. “For leaving me. For dying.”

“I didn’t want to,” Jiang Cheng breathed. “I made him promise, but I didn’t want to—”

“I know,” Mingjue cut him off, voice breaking as he thought of that cliff, of Wei Wuxian’s shaky hand holding the gun, of his conversation with Lan Wangji, of the truth Wei Wuxian made sure to hide from him for centuries. “I know, Lotus Flower.”

The name undid him. Jiang Cheng made a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh and finally, finally reached up to cup the back of Mingjue’s neck, pulling him in. Their lips met — not desperate, not rushed, but like an echo of something sacred, something long overdue.
The kiss was slow and trembling, tasting of salt as tears rolled down both their cheeks. It wasn’t the first time they had kissed — not really — but it felt like the first in an eternity.

When they pulled apart, Mingjue rested his forehead against Jiang Cheng’s again, both of them breathing hard.

“This time,” Mingjue whispered, “I’m not letting you go.”

Jiang Cheng nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek as he whispered back, “Then don’t.”

And in the silence that followed, dawn finally broke through the mist, lighting them both in gold — as if the universe itself had been holding its breath, waiting for this moment.