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He thought he knew what friendships were. Sort of. Kind of. His prime example is Equinox after all. But this..
This is new to him. Different in such a.. scary way. And it creates this.. bubbling feeling in his stomach, nausea of sorts..
And it all stems from two components.
Friendship.
And Blue.
Don't get him wrong. He's great at charisma. He's playful and knows how to push buttons to get a reaction. He thrives off it so these things don't.. bother him.
It's just that it worked wonders with Blue. She didn't hide her reactions nor her opinions. She didn't fake smiles, or pretend to be polite.
And, it's what he liked about her.
She didn't hide her dislike. Hell, she was the most wary of him when he came back and it was familiar in a way that he wanted to latch onto.
To which he.. kind of did.
Okay he definitely did-
But could anyone blame him when her scowls and bickering were the only sense of familiarity he had in a world full of change?
Until now though.
Something shifted.
Her dislike toned down the more they worked together or got the chance to spend time around each other under the guise that it was ‘forced’ and they'd ‘go back to normal’ where that normalcy was the “bickering” that is their fluent language.
They promised to stick to it at least.
He recalls one evening, the sun was setting and it was a warm golden hue. The others weren't home, they were late and they had food ready for them. An awkward silence after a whole day of provoking..
“Shadow, can I ask you a question?” he remembers how she sounded. So quiet and hesitant. Which was fair considering what followed was..
“Can you promise me things won't change? That it'll always be.. normal..?”
He laughed then, like it was stupid of her to ask it. Yet he recalls her hesitancy and he's now acknowledging why.
Which is what his pride is refusing to acknowledge. Much to his misery- he.. may have.. Not stuck to their promise of normalcy.
The lines blurred where they once stood as enemies, where they were supposed to.. dislike each other.
Yet every single time he needed her help, she didn't shy away from it or leave him hanging and it..
Though, their bickering turned to genuine discussions. His lingering over her shoulder landed him next to her while she was folding laundry until he started folding it with her. His provoking during the night turned to late whispers and snickers from her side. It's the first time she laughed at his joke- a bad one too!
Her excuse was ‘Shadow I'm tired, I laugh at anything when I'm tired.’ and it was enough motivation for him to keep going. He didn't know why, but seeing the way her face scrunched up and she'd cover her mouth with her palms just to stifle her laugh. It was..
A warm moment. Yeah. Normal.
Like the day after, breakfast. He referenced it and she looked indifferent, sort of. Yet he saw the twitch of a grin.
And it got him to mirror her smile and.. he caught himself at that.
The memory of it had her smiling and him grinning at that- that's not their dynamic! That was never his goal.
But it shifted things. He knows it did and.. he thinks she knows it too?
Cause right after, she sought him out too. She'd ask what he's up to and if he's in the mood to join her at any errand of hers. His go-to answer always was “Aw why, you want to spend time with me?” and it always resulted in her face getting red and muttering ‘whatever’. He still tags along and plays along until she eventually relaxes back into their banter.
And so.. much more..
But she never called him her friend. Neither did he, to be fair..
And it..
Well.
It kept him up at night. As stupid as it sounds.
That night especially. A couple of weeks ago by now. He visited when the moon was high in the sky and their companions none the wiser, but she wasn't asleep either. In fact.. he froze at the sight. Like she was expecting him to show up and decided to stay awake, she was writing in a journal of hers, some habit she's been getting into. Probably writing what she wants to do the next day. And she grinned at him- happy at seeing him, then closed her book and moved. Not asking what he wants like usual.
Instead she was making space for him to sit. She wanted him to sit close and-
It hit him.
When did it get so… cozy..?
He hesitated for a second then before stumbling to sit at the edge of bed, a memory he cringes from how foolish he looked.
Yet instead of the normal expectation of his voice filling the silence, she initiated their talks. Complaining about some thing that he doesn't even recall as he was distracted by it. By her. By.. everything and she.. noticed.
The weak smile, the flicker of concern, and her voice. Soft and gentle, asking him if he's okay? That he looks lost in thought and if he wanted to talk???
It flared anxious feelings in the pit of his stomach. They.. why..? Why ask..? Why look so.. worried..? They're not.. friends, so why..
Why did she have that soft glance- it's not.. what he expects to receive from her..
‘I need to go-’ he blurted out after a moment and she grabbed his wrist before he slipped. Furrowed eyebrows and a scowl so familiar, suspicious. She was suspicious again.
Her voice echoes in his head even now.
“What's with you? Did you hit your head?”
An escape though, an easy way out. He grinned, leaned down close with a coo. “Aw, you worried?”
Only to freeze at that.
Instead of the expected red face and scoff pf denial.
“Yes.”
She answered quick. Without a second thought and her face looks.. mad. Like she's upset to say it out loud.
“I uh.. I'm okay- I just.. forgot what I wanted to say.” he admitted awkwardly.
She didn't believe him, judging by the way she looked at him. Yet she let go and waved him off. “Dumbass, then remember tomorrow. G'night.”
“Goodnight”
Yet her face- it's burned into his mind.
Concern, genuine care. And the lack of hesitation.
Even more, her disappointment right after when she let his arm go. Never did she look like that with him and he almost backtracked into blurting out how she's freaking him out but that would've set them back like.. centuries…
Yet, like a match, his mind ignited in questioning confusion. Why? Why why wh-
However.. he couldn't deny it. His chest felt warm, his.. heart. Fuck. No.
Even now, he still feels.. so.. fuzzy, it's disgusting. He swore he won't let himself get like this ever again. Though he didn't expect her of all people to be the one that challenged his resolve.
He should've expected it. She always challenged his resolve in every other thing. Why would this be an exclusion..?
Which brings them to now. Weeks later after these fumbling moments as his emotions take over and he longs to answer truthfully to the million ruppee question.
Are They Friends?
Or better yet, Are they becoming friends?
A question that runs marathons in his mind, a loop so endless he memorized it like it's his own name.
To make matters worse, she's a challenging case because while she is an open book, she's an adaptable one too.. For now, his own playful nature is retorted with the same energy. She's beating him at his own game.
“Aw, what? You getting nervous?”
Yes but also fuck off????
He didn't say that. Instead, he fumbled and lost their stupid board game and she cheered and he- he.. didn't hate that he lost.
In fact, he felt warm again. Even more so as she bragged about it and poked his forehead. “You gotta focus on me more, you're losing your touch.” she said and he knows it's about the stupid game, he knows she meant her stupid piece.
“I am focused.” he said, but he meant her.
And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. He liked her. He knew that. He likes her.
The realization keeps him up all night, staring at ceilings with a red face and a mutter of “Oh.. no..” because why would she like him? In a sea of everyone, why pick him?
He knows why he likes her. She's challenging, honest, and courageous. She protects the people she cares about, and is ready to fight for her beliefs. She can be quick to anger, but she doesn't hide it. He doesn't need to overthink or guess if she's mad, she'd tell him. And it's so raw and real and- he likes her.
He likes her and she might.. not.. reciprocate because why would she?
It's easy to ask such a foolish question, and it most certainly even easier to answer. Except he couldn't really.. do anything about it. All due to one main reason.
Which was his oh so wonderful prideful hesitation.
Over what?
Again, Blue.
Her reaction to be specific..
Blue sucks ass at lying and hiding intent. An open book where her dislike was evident as well as her fondness. And right now she's so.. fond.. of him. He thinks. It looks like it anyway- it was never verbally confirmed. She never called him her friend, he never crossed that line either.
In fact, it feels like they dance on that line. Always a moment close.
Or maybe it was a tug-o-war where he's on one side of the rope and she's on the other where whoever loses has to admit it.
And fuck, she's winning.
Without even trying. She smiles and it's odd but nice to be the receiving end of these.. acts. He never did more than break the mirror.. and it confused him that she'd be.. nice..
He lost this game of emotions.
And he wanted to ask the stupid childish question.
“Are we friends?” is always on the tip of his tongue, yet his throat closes and his body refuses to cooperate. Too nervous to ask, too nervous to ruin things.
What if that's how she realizes their normal won't be the same and goes back into her shell? What if now she won't even initiate or worse, will start to avoid him.
The thought scared him, much to his displeasure. He didn't want to acknowledge it, but he couldn't really deny it either.
His pride twisted his tongue into a knot. He couldn't say a word that wasn't just playful provoking.
His excuse was that the others were always in earshot. He figured Red and Green felt it, he saw the weak smiles from them but they never asked. It stung though, that look of pity.
Now though, he has no excuse.
The house was theirs. It was the first night of Majora's descent, some seasonality of clockwork and masks. Red, Green, and Vio finished their masks already. Blue just needed to paint hers and it's the reason she stayed the night, Shadow just said he wasn't in the mood to go out. (A lie they all knew considering how excited he was about it.)
All he needs to do is ask her. That's it.
The subtle brushes against wood, he hears her color right behind him in the dining room. “Ughhh..” he says out loud from the couch as he sits up.
“Blue, when will you be done?” he asks instantly, to which she looks up. It's almost impressive how she didn't have a speck of paint on her hands and face. Her hair in a low-ponytail with pink headband holding her bangs off her face.
She raises an eyebrow. “Soon, only need to color one spot. Why?”
He blows a raspberry as he gets up and moves to float over to her, looking over her shoulder at the mask she's painting. It’s a sun-themed one, orange and yellow swirls. The only remaining part was the right eye. “Just bored, wanted to do something.” he murmurs.
She snickers, looking up at him, “Well you could still catch up to the others?” Blue brings up.
He scoffs instantly. “Nah, it feels wrong.”
“Feels wrong?”
“Yeah, incomplete.” he shrugs as he moves to sit, folding his arms on the table to use as a pillow as he looks up at her.
Only then he catches the surprise in her eyes and the slight pink blooming on her face. “Ah.. You're being stupid.” she says quickly, looking at her piece instead.
He raises an eyebrow at that, why she-
He pauses, realizing his words and letting out a choked noise. “A-ah. Not stupid- it's just, I had an idea of how it'd go and it felt weird that one of us wasn't there. I would've stayed if Green stayed back or.. well.. maybe the other two too..” he struggles with his explanation, rambling and stumbling.
She snorts at that, grinning. “It's fine, idiot.” she then glows with pride, it makes sense with her having a sun mask.. “You just love spending time with me. Who wouldn't?” she claims, a smug grin on her face.
Yes he does but shut up!
He makes a face, “You're so proud.” he mumbles weakly.
“‘Course I am, why wouldn't I be..?” she challenges, still smirking that he scoffs and rolls his eyes.
Though right after, his eyes focus on her again. Observing the way her nose scrunched up and her eyebrows are furrowed. Glaring with focus as she paints. Eyes bouncing from left to right, probably to mimic the design as best as she can. He grins slightly as he watches the features soften and the scowl turns to a huge smile.
“Done!” she announces, holding the mask up to show him. “What do you think?” Blue asks. Her face was bright, closed eyes and a toothy smile.
Eyes dilating at the sight, he smiles softly. “Pretty.” Shadow answers, only to catch himself. Face red as he quickly adds, “Cool- pretty, pretty uh cool.” he coughs.
Fortunately, she doesn't catch his mess up. Instead, she laughs as she nods. “I know! Cool, even though it's like.. a sun.” she grins.
He rolls his eyes, “You're so lame.” he complains as he gets up.
“You're one to talk.” she sticks her tongue out at him before walking over to the side to place it somewhere to dry.
In efforts to help, he reaches to pick the brushes up and moves to wash them. “What do you wanna do while it dries?”
“I dunno, probably journal.” she answers.
He frowns, “Why?”
She shrugs, “Don't really have any plans, why? You got any thing you wanna do?”
He blinks, then grins as he stares at the brushes.
A chance. An opportunity.
“Well.. I was thinking of playing something..?”
She hums, “Well…” her voice trails off for a second. “What game?” Blue asks, crossing her arms. “If it's anything stupid, I'm out.”
He laughs, looking over his shoulder. “Why, Blue. You don't want to play? Where's your competitive spirit?”
She grins, picking up the paint to put away. “Still there but what's the use of being competitive if you give me dumb games?”
Shadow scoffs as he twists the knob, water slowing to a stop. “Well, it's just us both. I was thinking maybe truth or dare?”
Blue's ear twitches, raising an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Yeah, take it as a bonding exercise.” he turns and clasps his hands together. A toothy smug smile on his face. “We would make Green so very proud.” he claims that she rolls her eyes at.
Though she hums then grins. “Do I get to dare you or ask you anything, and you'd do it?” she asks with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
He should be wary.
“Of course.”
A giddy smile stretches on her face, she nods. “Deal. Let's go.”
“Here's how it will go.” he sits, on the carpet, the couch pushed slightly back and the coffee table is out of the way. In his hand is an empty potion vial. “I'll spin it. Whoever gets the cork part is the first to ask. After that we won't spin and just go back and forth.”
Blue nods, palms resting on the floor. “Just spin it! Go!”
“Eager much.” he teases, spinning the bottle.
“Of course, it's not always I can get you to embarrass yourself.” she says with a giddy laugh.
“So evil!” Shadow retorts though his eyes light up at the bottle landing on him. He grins, mischief twinkling as she pales and scowls.
“Truth or dare, Blue?”
“Dare.” she answers in a heartbeat because of course..
He forgot how competitive she can get. “I dare you to…” he trails off then grins. “To do twenty push-ups.”
“Deal-” she instantly got up, too eager to show off and barely breaking a sweat-
Until she reached twenty… then thirty… then on one hand-
“Okay stop! Show off!!” he yells while she laughs as she lies on her side.
“You're just jealous.” she sticks her tongue out.
“Am not. Stop- it’s your turn.”
Blue grins, “Just pick then! Truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“Do five push-ups.”
Fuck her.
“So meaaaan- you know I hate em!” he complains as he gets up to do it.
“Without magic.” she adds and his eyes widen as he looks up at her. Smug evil little shit-
“Blueeee-”
She snickers. “Okay just do as many as you want.”
Want.. not can.
He grins, appreciating the out. He does only one before sitting up. “I'm done-”
Blue rolls her eyes. “Okay, I'll pick dare.”
“Give me your most evil laugh.” Shadow dares that she makes a face.
“That's so stupid..”
“Ah, so you quit? I thought you aren't scared of a lil ol challenge.” he teases to which he hears a loud scoff.
Then she grins and gives the most high pitched laugh ever.
“What kind of laugh was that!” he complains only seeing the trap then.
“That's how you sounded back then- ow?!”
He flicks her forehead instantly, “Whatever! I pick dare.”
Blue rolls her eyes, “Let me take a picture of you in a stupid costume of my choosing.” she says.
Shadow scowls. “Deal. What you pick?”
“Cheshire cat. The stupid purple one with stripes.”
In a snap, he's in it. To which it surprises her, and she bursts out laughing- cackling. Stumbling to get up, “Wait wait wait- let me get it-” she rushes upstairs.
“Hurry up! I don't wanna wear this by the time they're home!” he calls out to her.
Still, he grins as he hears her laugh echo. Warm again- he's feeling warm and pathetic over it.
A strained grin forms on his face as she rushes back in a fit of giggles with the pictograph. A snap and a flash, she beams brighter. He rolls his eyes, “Yeah yeah, enjoy it while it lasts.” he snaps the costume away and he's back in his skeleton patterned sweater and cotton pants.
Though he freezes at the look on her face. The grin, bright glint in her eyes. She looks over at him, “I think I picked a cute costume for you.” she says easily.
His eyes widen, face warming up at that.
Cute...?
He must've misheard-
“Thank you..?”
She raises an eyebrow before freezing as if she just caught herself- “I- I mean. Come on. Cats are cute.” she quickly says in a hushed voice, face a bright shade of red that continues to darken.
“Ah- right.. true.. dragons are way better though.”
“Maybe.” Blue hums then grins nervously. “I pick dare by the way-”
It blurs past him. Whatever dares they have, it eventually tones down to a break as they get snacks and ask questions instead.
And it was game time for him.
Find a way to ask. Any way to ask.
“Okay.. then.. Do you think I would be a good captain?” she asks.
Shadow hums, adjusting the headband for the third time. The worst piece in their silly trade of clothes- a dare she gave him.
“Yeah- I think so.” he answers easily to which she beams.
“You think so?” Blue asks with a huge grin.
Shadow grins back, he nods. “I can bet you'd be good at it, you're already a great hero.”
Blue's face lights up at that, leaning forward. Close to his face with a smile stretched wide. “Tell me more-”
He tsks, tapping her nose with an “Ah, ah.” he grins. “One question at a time.”
Though he grins, leaning forward. “Why, you care about my opinion this much?” he teases.
To which she scoffs and pulls back, yet her gaze is averted. Refusal at meeting his eyes. “I got curious, that's all.” she mutters though her face is pink.
Shadow blinks, “Aw you care?” he pokes at her cheek to which she grits her teeth.
“Nah, I do not.” she denies.
“Yeah, you do!”
Her teeth bare at a scowl, “Whatever then, you don't need to tell me if you're gonna be this way.” she hisses, a weak glare on her face as silence settles between them and-
Fuck.
She looks upset- closer to.. disappointment even. Of course she is, she's not meeting his eyes. Her ears are pointing downward. Her scowl seems forced. She's upset.
And..
To answer?
His own face warms at the idea of being vulnerable, though somehow her being upset was far worse.
“I uh..” he says weakly before squeezing his eyes shut and gulps his nerves down. A shaky grin stretches as he voices his thoughts. “I think you're cool.” he starts barely, though like a dam breaking.
It pours.
With a soft smile, “and.. well.. admirable. I like how you're not afraid of anyone and honest to a fault.. I think you're strong too, I mean.. not anyone can break a boulder of a beast in half..” he whispers then laughs. “That's hero stuff- even now, you care a ton without making me feel suffocated, you made things feel so.. normal. And well.. you.. I think if anyone would be good at the captain stuff, it needs to be someone as trustworthy as you.”
Shadow grins, looking up only to freeze at her face. The wide eyes, red face, and surprise. Probably didn't expect or was ready to receive a fraction of his feelings.
“Stop looking stupid, it's my turn- what do you think of me?” he hurriedly says before she gets to respond to his thoughts.
She blinks, “Ah! Well- I-” she struggles then groans. “Stop you can't ask me that after that! I can't think straight!!” she complains as she covers her face.
Shadow grins nervously. “Well.. take it easy, then don't tell me a lot just. Maybe..” he continues slowly then shrugs. “I dunno, what do you think of.. this..” he gestures vaguely between them.
To which she tenses. “This..?” Blue repeats barely, voice shaken from nerves that are contagious.
“Yeah.. us..? You're different than before.” Shadow admits.
“How..?”
Shadow freezes at her question and the way she asked. He should've called it, she would be nervous. She's always nervous when it came to anything that is a bit too real.
To which he sighs, then decides to rip the bandaid off. “It doesn't feel like.. before.” he starts as he glances at his hands. “I'm.. not good at this whole thing..”
“But.. you make me feel things and I.. wanted to see if you well.. like me as a person- as a friend..?”
He cringes as the words pour out. Face heating up like he's standing over a bonfire, it's on fire. He almost backs out, fearing that he has pushed it and ruined whatever that remained-
“I.. think of us as friends..?”
His eyes widen. Surprise replaces his fear as he looks up to meet her gaze, mouth gaping.
Blue's answer sounds more confused than certain yet he doesn't get the chance. She distracts him the way she always does.
She grins, as shy and probably more nervous than him. “I think we started being friends a long time ago..” she continues sheepishly.
And his mind explodes like fireworks, eyes wide and he sputters a shaken “Wha-”
Long time?!
Shadow blinks, analyzing her face. The sheepishness in her voice and shy glance. “Long time?” he repeats, skeptical over such a claim.
To which Blue nods, curling smaller as she shifts in her place. “Since the dragon flight back in summer..?” she admits though laughs nervously.
Back.. in summer.. that was.. almost.. over two months ago..
He remembers it. Clear as day.
It was the first time he offered an activity to do, one his night visits and debating on whether nightskies were better or not.
He remembers asking to take her to a flight and she hesitated. Yet still came along, and he remembers being excited over it that he planned it all.
But..
He makes a face.
“Blue you got sick right after.. it was too cold up high.. I thought you were being nice by saying you enjoyed it..?” he mutters puzzled.
She gives a weak grin, “But I did enjoy it, besides it was dorky seeing you worry.” she teases with a laugh.
He blinks, smiling softly. “I don't remember being that worried. I was just caught up that if anything happens to you, it'd be blamed on me.” he denies.
Blue rolls her eyes at that. “Sure..” she says, drawn-out with a knowing grin.
But despite her words. One thing for certain was that she.. she never changed.
Shadow's eyes softens as he leans slightly. “Why didn't you say anything..?” he pushes slightly.
The hero tenses then sighs, barely meeting his eyes as she rubs her arm. “It felt like we didn't need to talk about it, I mean we still bicker and all. So I thought calling you anything would uh..”
“Make things weird?” he finishes and she nods.
“Yeah..”
Shadow grins weakly, “I.. think I get how that feels but.. didn't expect you to like me either.”
Blue’s eyes widen, ears perking up and turning redder by the second. “I didn't say that-” she denies to which he scoffs.
“Well I ask you then. Do you like me?”
She grits her teeth, “It's my turn actually. Do you?” she challenges with a scowl that looks too dorky with her flustered face.
Shadow grins weakly, too late to back down. “Yes.” he says, trying to sound as confident that his shyness wouldn't be noticeable enough to tease, “Now you. Do you like me? And why if so?”
Blue’s eyes widen as she makes a choked noise. “I- You.. how can you answer that so quick!!! You were dying a second ago!!!” she complains.
Shadow shakes his head. “It's worth it if I get to know your thoughts on me!” he claims, then leans forward to her, noses almost poking as he grins wide. “Tell me- come on-”
Blue pulls back, eyes wide at his sudden confidence. Unknowing that it's on a time limit and will deflate as quick.
“I.. I…” she starts slowly, he grins weakly as he waits for her to finish. “I do like-”
“We’re homeeeee!”
The duo jumps back, Shadow scrambling back as does Blue that she bumps into the table with an ‘Ow-’ muttered.
“Blue can ya come help?! Vio fell asleep-” they hear from the door.
“I uh..” she glances back at him with a frown.
To which Shadow grins barely and gestures for her to go ahead. She smiles back appreciatingly, “Coming!” she calls out as she gets up to rush off.
And his glorious golden ticket bursts to flames.
The confidence shatters as he feels himself melt into a puddle and disappear into the shade where no one could hear him.
And he.
Lets out.
The biggest muffled screech from the darkness as he curls into a ball.
DAMN.
IT!!!!!!!
He took too long- he needed to ask earlier and now-
“Yes.” his answer echoes in his mind, burning into him.
What the fuck-
Shadow groans, dragging himself out of the shade and into his room instead, teleportation has its benefits as he falls onto the ground like a martyr.
At least he knows they're friends. Yet now his anxiety will focus on another factor.
What she thinks of him because clearly.. she does like him to an extent.
... THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!!!!
DAMN IT!!!!
Despite his disappearance to wallow in misery in his room for the past hours where he didn't get up from his curled form on the ground.
His ear perks up at the sound of steps and he lifts his head slowly.
Two knocks that sound like 'Tick tick' with a hushed voice whispering behind it.
"Shadow?"
His eyes widen, standing instantly that his mind spins. And he adjusts the headband and-
Shadow grins, trying to pretend that he wasn't falling apart- "Aw you missed me-" he stops seeing her red face and glare. The shade blinks, head tilting. "Ah.. you.."
"I think you're cool." she cuts him off, glaring at the ground now as if unable to meet his eyes. "And pretty nice- I like that you put your all in proving yourself- I think you're funny and dorky a-and I like you okay?!" she struggles only to glare at his face.
Though he feels frozen in spot- no he is frozen as she mutters one last part.
"I like you." she repeats.
Shadow grins, bright and huge. "I like you too-" he says too, equally as shy.
Blue snorts, grinning now as she relaxes. Her arms cross as she subtly reminds, "Yeah uh.. you told me.." she then smirks as she tilts her head. "Won't mind it though if you wanna say it again- Kinda dorky."
...
DAMN IT- HE WASN'T AS SMOOTH-
He groans, "Shut up-"
"Nah."
She laughs and..
He doesn't mind being a dork if it means she'd laugh.