Chapter Text
Freya was standing in middle of the room, her bag still lay a few feet away on the ground. She hadn´t unpacked it yet and she most definitely was not going to. She was not going to stay here, so she wouldn´t unpack. She turned around and left the room to go check on Madi. When she started walking towards her room, she heard faint giggling and talking so she sped up and barged into the room Madi was going to stay in. She stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted Madi swinging in a swing that was hanging from the ceiling. “Madi, what are you doing?”, her words came out in a rush and she gaped at her sister. “You could get hurt! You could throw things over!” Madi had tried to slow down and was looking confused. “Don’t worry Freya, it´s okay, that´s what we built the swing for, it should be safe and we made sure there was nothing she could bump into.” Freya´s head snaps around towards the new voice. She hadn´t even realized they weren’t alone. Lexa´s lips turn up into a smile and she takes a few steps towards the swing. “It´s the coolest, Ria! You can have a go if you wanna.” Madi pipes up and gives a toothy grin. Freya shakes her head and fixes Lexa with another stern look “You´re sure this won´t crash down or something?” she asks. Lexas grin becomes even wider at that and a mischievous glint appears in her eyes. “Yeah, Clarke and I definitely made sure of that.” The older girl nods, before she takes to inspecting the room more closely.
She hates how these women have sat them up in two different rooms, as if they´re purposefully trying to keep Freya away from Madi, to keep her from protecting her precious little sister. This was something unusual, all the times they´d had to go into care for the weekend before, the people usually would let them room together. She supposed it was mostly due to them only having one room or simply not caring. And why should anyone care? They never stayed long anyways. Their mom just needed a little time to reset; she always came back in time. Honestly, Freya didn´t understand, why she´d bother to contact CPS at all, Freya could easily manage to take care of herself and Madi for the weekends her mom left. And it wasn´t like her mom’s absence changed much at all…her and Madi´s routine mostly stayed the same, whether her mom was home or not.
“Girls? Dinner is almost ready.” Clarke’s, their other foster mom´s, voice carried up the stairs and Freya heaved a breath. “I´ll go down to help her set the table.” Lexa announced as she swiftly lifted Madi down from the swing. “Can you girls go ahead and wash your hands before you come downstairs, please?” Freya rolled her eyes at her but nodded. As she locked the bathroom door behind herself and Madi she crouched down towards her sister and placed her hand on her cheek to keep her focused. She needed Madi to understand. “Promise me you´ll eat some of the food? No complaining, we´re not at home here, okay Madi? We don´t want them to get mad.” Madi pouted at her but reluctantly agreed. “What if I really don´t like it though, Ria?” She asked and Freya steeled herself. “Then you´ll just have to eat a little anyways, Madi. I promise I´ll make you extra nuggets when we get back home.” Madi still didn´t look happy, but Freya couldn´t change that now. She turned on the faucet and pulled the little stepping stool over to the sink, so Madi could reach it comfortably. “And do me a favour and try not to make a mess with your food.” She was thankful, when Madi only nodded instead of arguing further.
She didn´t like speaking to her sister like this, but she couldn´t gauge the two women yet. And she didn´t want to take any chances with Madi. They´d been to one foster family, where Madi had outright refused to eat any of their meals, which had resulted in a few very uncomfortable few days of them not being given any food anymore after that first evening.
She didn´t think that Clarke and Lexa would be the same, but she´d only met them two hours ago. Even with Freya considering herself pretty good at sizing people up by now, she really couldn´t tell what they would be like. It was the first time ever they were staying with a queer couple, which also made their dynamic much harder to get a feel for. She guessed they were in their late thirties, older than her mother, that was for sure. The house gave the clear impression of people with money. The sheer size of it, the big rooms she and Madi had each gotten, the big backyard, all the appliances in the kitchen and the expensive looking dining chairs and table. It didn´t make any sense to her that such people would want to foster. She couldn´t imagine with the pristine look of the house that they´d take kindly to children running around in it.
It left Freya feeling much more vulnerable than she would have preferred. A very big part of her was screaming at her to just leave, she´d find the way back to her apartment, to just make a run for it. Or to do something even dumber like destroy some of the expensive looking vases or pour juice all over the light and much too comfy living room couch that probably cost more than all of their furniture at home together. The more rational part of her however, was much too concerned with Madi, telling her that if she only did just what they asked of her, kept in line, didn´t make any problems, basically became invisible, she´d be able to protect Madi best. Still, the irritation sometimes got the best of her.
As she led Madi down the stairs, she tried her best to swallow all of the anger down, knowing she wouldn´t be able to forgive herself if her anger got Madi in trouble. Still, she felt the resentment and dread pulsing through her as they stepped into the kitchen. Clarke was in the dress she´d worn when they´d arrived, although she had an apron over it as she stirred in the pan. Lexa had draped her woollen sweater over the back of a chair and was walking around the dining table in her maroon cord pants and a finely printed checkered button down, her sleeves rolled up to her elbows as she set a carafe full of water with lemon slices in it down.
Freya couldn´t help but stare down at her own pair of ragged jeans and her faded out hoodie, the look was finished off by mismatched socks and she could feel the cold of the floor with her big toe which she knew meant this pair now also had holes in it. Madi looked even worse, but she also was a five-year-old, they generally looked worn out in Freya´s experience. Her leggings were barely pink anymore, looking more like a pig that already had a bath in the mud. There was a rip around her left knee, and they were riding up past her ankles. The print on her shirt had become unrecognizable and the zipper on her cardigan had already not been working anymore when Madi got the jacket. Her feet were bare. Freya honestly found it hard to imagine a place where the two of them would have looked more out of place than in this pristine home with those women.
“You want to try sitting on this chair Madi?” Lexa addressed the youngest and Freya immediately tightened her hold on Madi´s hand. “We can adjust the height, so you´ll be able to reach the table better.” Lexa added as she pointed to the blue triptrap chair Freya only now noticed. Still, she felt Madi hesitate beside her. “If you´d rather sit on a normal chair, we can try that too.” Lexa continued and Freya decided it was time for them to participate in this conversation before Lexa would lose her temper or be angry at Madi for not replying. She took a step forward and pulled Madi along with her. “Try it out?” She asked Madi, who didn´t reply but climbed up onto the chair. “You like it?” Lexa asked and Madi nodded, much shyer than Freya remembered her from any previous foster families. Maybe she´d overdone it with her speech in the bathroom a bit, but if Madi behaving like this was the consequence and it saved them from getting in trouble, then maybe it was worth it.
“Where do you usually sit?” Freya dared to ask and relaxed the slightest bit when Lexa smiled at her. They´d managed not to cause any trouble until now and she sent up a silent prayer that it would stay that way until Madi fell asleep. “Uhmm, we usually sit here.” She said as she pointed to two chairs opposite each other. “But we really don´t mind, you can sit wherever.” Like hell she would! Freya didn´t waste any time with pulling out the last free chair and plopping down, only realizing she probably should have tried to sit gracefully, when she was already slouched down. Seeing as it was too late now, she deliberately sank back into the chair, sagging down. It was surprisingly comfortable, not at all what she´d expected.
Lexa finished setting the table by placing the plates in front of them and Freya hadn´t expected for them to have a special plate for Madi, but they did. It was a blue silicone plate, not one of those cheap plastic plates that small kids usually got but one where you could barely tell it wasn´t ceramic. Clarke came in with the big pan in her hands and placed it in the middle of the table. She´d taken off the apron but her hair was still up in a messy bun. With her hands now free, she swiftly leaned into Lexa, a hand on her collar, as she placed a short peck on her lips before she sat down.
“I cooked some basic fried rice with mixed veggies and some vegan chicken today.” She addressed both girls. “But if you don´t like it, there´s some bread in the kitchen as well.” Freya glanced towards Madi, they hadn´t had fried rice often and the vegetables might be a problem, as Madi returned her glance she gave her a stern look, wordlessly reminding her of their talk, hoping Madi wouldn´t jump at the chance of a sandwich. She didn´t, staying eerily silent instead, only staring up at Clarke with big eyes. To her surprise, Clarke actually offered Freya to serve herself. Sparing her the embarrassment of not being able to finish her portion or being only given very little food.
As they all dug in, a weird silence settled over the table. It wasn´t entirely uncomfortable since they were all chewing and occupied, but it also was awkward. Freya´s focus was mostly on Madi, watching her sister as she concentrated hard on not making a mess. In between she´d push the rice on her plate around, studying all the different veggies that it contained and mostly pushing them to one side, so she could eat only the rice. Freya didn´t allow herself that comfort, instead she filled her fork with random bites of rice, just eating it all. It wasn´t as bad as she´d imagined, though she still found she hated cooked carrots.
“Love? Do you still want my broccoli?” Lexas question cut through the silence and Freya looked up to find a little pile of broccoli on Lexas plate. “Yeah, gladly.” Clarke replied and Lexa handed them over. “You´re not the biggest fan of the greens either, huh?” She addressed Madi and Freya saw the panic rise into her baby sister’s eyes. But she didn´t know what she could do to help her. “That´s perfectly okay, Madi, I didn´t mean that in a bad way. You can just leave all of the things you don´t like on your plate.” She quickly reassured and to Freyas surprise Madi actually relaxed.
“That applies to both of you, actually.” Clarke adds and both girl´s heads snap to her. “No matter what, you don´t ever have to eat something you don´t like. We appreciate you trying it, if you haven´t before, but there´s always something else here that you can have instead.” Even if her words barely have any effect on Freya, she sees how they settle Madi down, a calm settling over her that Freya hadn´t seen in her since she woke up in her arms this morning. Before CPS came to collect them. And to all of their absolute surprise, Madi actually pokes her fork into the pile of veggies, fishing out a piece of zucchini that she carefully takes a bite from.
As Freya settled down in her big bed in the big room later that night, she still was wary. The room was bigger than any room in their appartement and the bed was bigger than the one she usually shared with Madi at home. Despite its size, she´d curled up into the spot by the wall, taking up very little space. The pressure of her arms wrapped tightly around her torso gave her the slightest bit of relieve. Clarke and Lexa had actually come to say goodnight to her. Thankfully she hadn´t been in bed yet, she didn´t know what she´d have done had they actually tried to tuck her in or something like that. No, she´d stood by the window, staring out into the big garden in her thin long-sleeved pyjama top and a pair of old gym shorts she wore for sleeping. “We´ll keep the light on in the hallway and you can always come and wake us, if you need anything.” Clarke had said and Freya had almost laughed. As if…”Try to get some sleep soon.” Lexa had added.
She hadn´t. She was still lying awake, even now, with the shadows of the furniture casting terrifying shadows across the room, but closing her eyes only made worse images appear. It wasn´t a problem though. She´d only have to get through one more night and she´d be back home, with Madi next to her. She´d sleep then.
Freya´s head immediately snapped around when she heard a faint sound coming from her doorway. At home, she always knew when someone would enter, the unmistakable creaking of their door was a sure way that always warned her. Here however, her eyes landed on the door that was already opened quite a bit without having made any loud noises. She tensed up, feeling completely vulnerable lying here in her bed all alone. “Freya?” The voice was barely audible, a whisper, as if the person was afraid to disturb someone, but it brought a wave of relief for Freya. “Madi, I´m here Paddy.” She called back, sitting up so Madi might be able to make her out better. The sound of bare feet carefully padding through the room was the only thing Freya noticed, before the bed dipped beside her and Madi was cuddled into her. She wrapped her little arms tightly around Freya´s neck and snuggled up to her. “Missed you.” She mumbled into her shoulder and Freya held her tightly. She pressed her nose into Madi´s hair which didn´t smell like the little girl but like the apple shampoo Clarke had used when she´d bathed her earlier. Still, having Madi in her arms managed to calm her down immensely.
They must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing Freya noticed was frantic knocking on her bedroom door. “Freya?” A voice called out and it took her a bit to manage to place the voice. Where was she? The soft blankets around her didn´t feel or smell familiar and she didn´t recognize the room. “Freya?” The voice called out again and her mind finally caught up. It was a woman´s voice, she was yet again with a foster family for the weekend. Madi was softly snoring beside her and the person calling had to be either Clarke or Lexa. “Yeah?” She replied, her voice cracking from only just having woken up. She watched as someone used the doorhandle before it was opened a crack and a brunette head poked inside. Lexa looked uneasy, a slight panic in her features as her eyes settled on Freya. “Is Madi here with you? She´s not in her room.” Lexa asked hurriedly, concern and worry clear in her voice. “Uh yeah, she´s here.” Freya said, reluctantly pointing behind herself.
Shit, she´d been meaning to wake up before them, to carry Madi back into the other room before they could get into any trouble. Judging from Lexa´s behaviour she´d failed spectacularly. Freya tried to shift around in her bed a little, making sure to keep Madi completely behind herself. She didn´t deserve to be punished just for wanting to sleep with Freya. Freya was the older one, she had to be aware of the consequences, she should have just sent Madi right back to the other room in the night.
She didn´t expect Lexa´s reaction. The woman stepped into the room at Freya´s words, eyes frantically scanning the room until her eyes landed behind Freya. One of her hands came up, but before Freya even had time to flinch, she´d already placed the hand over her own heart. “Thank goodness.” She whispered out as she took a few steps away again, retreating back towards the door, dressed only in a pair of dark green flannel pants and a white shirt, her hair falling over her shoulder in a messy braid. “I went to check on her and couldn´t find her. It really scared me for a minute. Thank goodness she´s here with you.” Freya stared at her, unable to tell what mood Lexa was in, what this would mean for them. “I´ll leave you to catch some more sleep if you want to. Sorry for barging in like this, I was just really worried…” Lexa trailed of, awkwardly stopping in the doorway. “I´ll get breakfast started soon, feel free to come down whenever you feel ready.” She gave a small smile and quietly pulled the door closed behind her. Freya doubted she´d get anymore sleep but Madi was still peacefully sleeping behind her, so she stayed where she was, lightly stroking her hand up and down Madi´s arm.