Work Text:
There was a broken picture frame on the stack of drawers next to him, and the glass that surrounded it reflected with the soft glow of a candle. It had been days, weeks even. 007n7 wasn't sure about it anymore, he felt out of it; had been feeling out of it since his son disappeared without a trace. The silence in his home - the silence he once valued - felt off. The clock ticked in the background, and 007n7 could hear the wind outside, but that was all. There was no screaming, no laughing, nothing that could indicate C00lkidd ever was there. His room lay untouched, though, like he went to school and would just come back again like always.
Not like 007n7 had been in his room - he couldn't. He would much rather lay in his bed for the rest of his life, allowing himself to melt into the mattress and maybe disappear. If he was gone, maybe he could see his son again. Or maybe this was a punishment for all he had done, because life was cruel like that. Or he was that bad of a father that his son ran off, without a word, without even his little stuffed bear or his bandana or anything. Like he never existed, he faded away with the wind. His son faded away with the wind.
A nasty, ugly thought popped up inside of 007n7, one that almost made him want to take out his brain and shape it into something else, anything else. Because it was the first thought 007n7 ever had about C00lkidd. That maybe he should have burned the small child that appeared on his doorstep. If he burned him, let his small body get consumed by flames, he wouldn't be feeling this pain, wouldn't be suffering like this. He would be okay - or something close to it. He would still have Noli and his power and everything he had before he decided to adopt a child.
He decided to adopt a child, and ruin his life. Because that was what he was awfully good at, was it not? He was so, so good at just ruining his own life and then whining about it like it wasn't he didn't pick out his own cards. He picked this faith, so now he had to live it. He loved like the moon, but now he burned like the sun. Alas, this was what he deserved.
Even though he knew that, 007n7 just kept whining and whining about it, instead of changing it. Pissing himself off in the process. Wasn't this what he complained about? Wasn't this all he hated?
He curled up yet again, the warmth of his blanket swallowing him. Maybe he would die in this bed.