Chapter Text
Goh has never felt more dislocated in his twenty years of existence. It is a familiarized taste — bitter on his tounge, heavy on his senses — this feeling has worn his nerves thin more times than he'll ever admit.
Don't get him wrong, this Kantonian diner is a safe place for him, really. He admires the glossy paintings of mid-flight Butterfree and curled up Oddish that decorate the bricked walls, champagne bulbs for the sake of lighting, as well as the melting Sweet Scent candles that are almost sleep-inducing. Or perhaps, Goh is just running low on sleep today... last night was spent ogling the bedroom ceiling, looping the same thoughts about this very meeting.
Goh genuinely doesn't understand why would Ash drag him here.
"The yearly exhibition match is this weekend. Have you been training well, Champion?" Leon asks light-heartedly, but it slips through with the disposition of someone who knows exactly how much weight that question carries.
The former Champion lowers his dark yellow shades as a guest brushes by, and he has to duck himself under his Jersey cap, as if the brim could save him from getting recognized.
Across the table, Ash tilts his lips upwards in a confident grin. "Of course I am!" The raven-haired boy claims, paper straw dripping into his fresh berry juice with an unbothered slurp.
The sound of heels clicking against marble breaks the rhythm — Oleana, Chairman Rose's secretary — glides in as if the temperature just dropped a few degrees. She is dolled up in her regular crimson blouse and pencil skirt, and even when she hasn't spoken a syllable yet, Goh's spine tightens under her shadow. There's something so nerve-wracking about this woman, although he can't seem to point it out.
Oleana leans in to murmur something to Leon, her olive green eyes are sharp enough to speed-read Goh without even glancing at him once, and then, she purposefully does.
"We shall discuss this matter in private," She says, acting as if Goh is some piece of furniture that she just managed to notice. "No outsiders allowed."
The demand lands heavier than it should, and Goh should've been aware of this very scenario, right? There's one former and another ruling World Champion sitting on this table, after all, so what significance does he hold?
What purpose do I even have in here?
Goh swallows, and his fingers curl into the edge of his velveteen chair until his knuckles blanch. The seat's legs scarpe softly against the floor as he starts to rise, pale-blue eyes lowered.
But Ash's hand is already on his sweatshirt's hem — stubborn, pressing.
"Sit down, Goh," The snipe in his voice turns every head within earshot, and amber eyes blaze as they lock on the secretary stood beside Leon. "Don't talk to him like that."
Oleana blinks once, expressionless. "It's simply a matter of confidentiality, Champion—"
"It's also a matter of respect," Ash leans forward, not willing to give up on the staring contest, and the mauve-colored juice trembles under his palm.
The air between them is suddenly too suffocating, too loud in Goh's eardrums, and some students in the corner booth pause mid-gossip; Leon just leans back, amusement curling at his mouth like cigarette smoke. It's not mockery - never could be - in fact, it resembles knowingness: the man smirks to himself as though he's aware of an epiphany that no one else in the vicinity has a clue about.
Goh's chest is like a runaway Rapidash at the raven haired boy's concern, each heartbeat so loud he's certain Oleana catches the sound. But despite everything, they are not supposed to publicize this behavior.
"Ash," Goh's voice is urgent as he holds onto his partner's forearm, "It's fine. Calm down."
Even when he's managed to simmer down Ash's temper, Goh has another fundamental point to face: because Oleana isn't keen on backing down, and she only fuels the wildfire further.
"We can't afford distractions right now, Champion. There's a schedule to follow. I'm sure this outsider over here understands." She sneers back, turning a deaf ear to the other boy.
Now she's done it.
Ash's teethframe clenches, and now he really slams his palms on the clothed table, causing the berry juice to slosh over the rim of its glass - a loud thump that makes the silverware rattle.
Goh keeps his sight downwards, his heart is beating rambunctiously inside his ribcage, and he wishes to shrink into his chair's fabric and dissipate from this scene. Ash is not an ill-tempered person, not even close to that honestly; But whenever anger does blind his senses, it's a volcanic eruption that engulfs everything in sight. There has only been a couple such instances in Goh's memory, and each time it's left him equally helpless. He feels the ripple of it now, even through the marrow of his bones.
"Enough," Ash declares, and his tone is a knife wrapped in blue velvet. He doesn't glance at Goh, doesn't notice the mauve juice bleeding onto the white linen. He just exhales through his nose before adding curtly, "I think I'll reschedule this meeting. Sorry for wasting your time, Leon."
The man in question chuckles low as a response, all too knowing. "Not a waste at all. See ya later, champ."
Ash grabs his Letterman jacket from the back of his chair and whams five-hundred pokedollars on the hardwood table. For a split second, Goh wonders if his partner is just going to storm off and leave him in here, but then his callous hand finds Goh's, fingers threading through his in a warm grip.
"Let's go."
The researcher stumbles as they weave through the diner tables and Ash mutters his apologies, although the limelight is already on them.
Some guy thrusts a napkin and pen to his face, "Champion Ash! Please, just one autograph!" A couple of young women with their Bellossom and Liligant let out fangirl squeals, "Oh my God! Is that the Ash Ketchum?!" The high school students that were previously indugled in their gossips cry out loud, half-raising their phones with camera apps ready, and some maniac dude with a Sabeleye is already streaming the whole shtick on his social media - adding in unnecessary commentary like, "Guess who I just met at this diner in Celadon City! That's right, it's the ruling Champion —"
Ash doesn't break stride until they've burst out of the diner and into the sun-drenched parking lot, a striking contrast to the air-conditioned interior.
The pair slip behind a jet-black sedan like they're vagabonds on a secret mission (on second thoughts, perhaps they really are...) and Goh feels the rush of Ash's pulse as they still lock hands, their chests heaving from the unplanned sprint.
Once they're leaning against the cool metal out of breath, Goh musters to ask,
"What was that just now?"
Ash just stares at him with his caramel eyes, and there's a flame in them — the same golden-orange sparks that he witnessed back in the diner. "No one talks to you like that." He says, and there's no room for protest in that statement. "I don't care if you're just my best friend in the public eye, no one is allowed to say all that about you. Who does she think she is?"
Goh doesn't believe him for an instant, his delicate eyebrows creasing. What was it that pushed Ash's buttons exactly? Oleana's remark embarrassed him just a little, sure, but was it supposed to become this big of an issue... to provoke this reaction from Ash?
Goh blinks at him. "You're really this bothered, just because Oleana called me an outsider?"
"Of course I am," Ash's expression hardens, and a thundercloud seethes behind his eyes. "Why would I not be?"
Goh presses his tounge against his cheek, aiming for a lighthearted joke. "In order to make things less obvious next time, why don't you just kiss me in front of the whole diner?"
His secretive boyfriend tilts his head just then, and his anger evaporates into something softer — like drowsy wine bottles and moonlit satin — as he narrows down those eyes.
"Oh, it would be a pleasure —"
But before the Champion can lean in any further, Goh seals his mouth shut with a palm, his own face flushing a deep crimson. "We're in a goddamn parking lot, Ash Ketchum." He whisper-screams, then slowly backs away. "And I was being sarcastic."
Ash pouts with teenage petulance. "Your sarcasm is gonna be the death of me one day."
A wordless silence passes by, and only the distant hum of traffic and Pidgey chirps accompany the illicit pair. The panic from earlier doesn't tremor Goh's system now, but it's been replaced by a sense of guilt: a worm gnawing at his stomach lining. At the end of the day, he did ruin Ash's meeting, no matter how much he would shrug it off.
"I — I'm really sorry, Ash." Goh faces him fully now, but his eyes fall to the black asphalt. "I shouldn't have come here. That was an important meeting and... and I ruined it, and now you have to deal with the press, and Leon would get mad, and—"
"Hey, hey, hey. Listen to me." Ash's firm hands ground his partner's shoulders and one slips under his chin, forcing sky-blue eyes to gaze upward at him. "It wasn't your fault at all. I was the one who dragged you here, remember?"
Goh breaks the eye contact yet again. "Yeah, but... I should've refused. I wasn't needed here, I was just —"
"Are you out of your mind?" The other boy enrages, it's not targeted at Goh (never), but at his deep-rooted insecurity, the quiet poison that dwells inside his head. "Goh, I needed you here. I have no idea what the hell I would've done if you weren't by my side. Yes, the meeting didn't go as planned. But that's because I lashed out. For obvious reasons, too."
Goh hums an acknowledgement, but doesn't really buy the excuse. Ash exhales heavily at his colorless reaction, but then snaps his fingers, and it's as if a lightbulb appears on top of his head.
"Wait — I know. Let's get lunch together!"
"Today...?" The researcher's chapped lips twitch with smile, but it's shortlived as reality dawns over him. "I can't make it. There's a report that I need to submit by this evening, so I'll be at the Sakuragi Lab. Sorry, Ash."
The Champion deflates against the steel sheet of the sedan behind them. "Oh, man."
Goh shifts into a more comfortable position on his knees (yeah, it's definitely not advisable for a full-grown adult to be playing hide and seek in a parking lot...), and suggests heartily, "In that case... Why don't we just go out for dinner tonight?"
Ash brightens instantly, his eyes resembling a struck matchstick. "That's like — on top of my wishlist," And it gets whiffed almost as quickly. "...But I've got training until midnight for the exhibition match. "
Blue-tinted disappointed mirrors on Goh's tanned face, and both boys slump their shoulders at the rotten fate of their schedules that never seem to align.
Whenever Goh has some leisure time on his hands, he does sneak away to watch Ash's battles — but as much as he would die to, he can't just embrace him at the stadium after his victory, right? He still can't show up with his favorite bouquet and dark chocolates in hand at the venue, and then kiss him stupid in front of the media.
Goh wonders oftentimes: wouldn't it be easier if everyone was aware, if Ash could just drop this pretension of them being best friends on camera?
The thought builds like a high tide, dragging him under—
But the second they're inside the car and the doors shut against the world, tinted glass securing their privacy, Ash is already tugging him closer and tasting Goh's lips in an all-consuming type of kiss. Their foreheads touch, and the car's leathery scent mixed with the faint trace of his boyfriend's cologne is adding stars to Goh's vision.
Their proximity is shortlived, though – because the horn of a passing taxi fractures their lovesick trance, and a flushed Goh has to physicaly force himself back against the cool fabric of his seat, drinking in the deepest breath.
Ash inches an eyebrow at him. "Fine," He mutters, a little bittersweet. "We'll save this for later."
Goh merely smiles at him but can't bring himself to answer, he just gazes out the window with a blank expression: his own reflection mocking him for getting caught between two worlds.
Either way— Goh decides as Ash keeps a hand over his knee and starts the engine; He wouldn't have it any other way.
Around midnight, The Sakuragi Laboratory smells of day-old coffee and polished floors.
Ren and Chrysa ended their shifts a few hours ago, so the building is half-asleep at the moment — and Goh is hunched over his desk — the blue cast of his computer screen draining whatever energy is left over in his system. The incomplete document of his report blinks back at him with judgemental eyes, and the cursor secretly mocks him.
Boltund wags his tail with delight as Koharu feeds him some freshly-baked Poffins one by one. Her voice is the only sound that fills in the room except for Goh's keyboard typing and the air-conditioner's hum, and while he appreciates her company, Goh is not quite following her words...
"So I was like, maybe Dawn could use my Rapidash for her upcoming contest— because the theme is fairy types, you know? I think she can pull off some great combination attacks along with her Togekiss. Then, I remembered that Rapidash hasn't really participated in any— Goh, are you even listening?"
The researcher's thoughts are nowhere close to contests. "Hm? Oh. Yeah, I am. Go on."
"You do?" Koharu leans back in her office chair, crossing her arms like an inspector. "Then tell me what was the last thing I said?"
"You were — You were talking about..." He pretends to brainstorm, drumming his fingers along the mouse. "Boltund's lazy behavior lately...?"
The electric-type dog Pokemon growls at that, as if it sensed the false accusations, and Goh swallows down the lump in his throat. Koharu scoffs in good humor, feeding Boltund another Poffin for the sake of distraction. "Are you asking me or telling me?" She questions.
"I'm sorry, I'm just..." Goh exhales, his shoulders caving in. He can't even bring himself to lock eyes with his childhood friend, and the pea-sized letters on his monitor are getting unreadable by the minute. "I'm just in a turmoil right now, Koharu."
She snorts, but again, it's not even in the vicinty of contempt. Goh hears the chair wheels creaking before she speaks, "I swear to Arceus, if this is about Ash not giving you attention, then you need to shut up. He's literally obsessed with you."
The words land heavier than she intended, and Goh presses his teeth into his bottom lip before returning to his keyboard, but he doesn't have the willpower to type even one letter.
Koharu lets out a sigh, her emerald eyes shifting to Boltund who has started nosing at her jeans' hem for more treats. "If you idiots love each other so much, why don't you just make it official?" She asks tonelessly.
"It's not that simple..." Goh gazes at the ceiling's fluorescent lights, absentminded. "Look, I don't want him to announce our relationship in a press conference or anything. I hate publicity, you know that. But at the same time..." He trails off then, other hand curling into a lose fist. "I don't want us to become this illegal thing in the public eye. It's... very complicated."
Koharu parts her lips to shoot an answer to that, but the notification chime from Goh's phone cuts her off; His reaction is knee-jerk— the mouse left abandoned, the blinking cursor forgotten — as he snatches it up. She doesn't need to inquire who it's from, because a rosy grin has already bloomed across his face.
She shakes her head with warm-hearted annoyance. "It's the World Champion Boyfriend, huh?"
"He mentioned something about dinner," Goh admits excitedly, his smile refusing to snuff out as he reads the text. For once this night, the report on his eye-blinding screen doesn't seem like a burden: it's more of a hurdle between him and the promise. "I just have to finish this, and then —"
"And then you'll ditch me for Mr. Champion," Koharu deadpans, aiming for lighthearted. She's aware that Ash and Goh hardly get to spend quality time together, especially during the weekdays; But pulling their leg is her favorite leisure activity.
Goh presses the spacebar key with unnecessary force as he pouts. "You're mean."
"But seriously..." She folds her arms, expression dipping into something quieter. "Are you okay with this, Being his little secret and all?
He pauses, and it's long enough for Koharu to observe: the way his oceanic eyes shift marginally, and shoulders droop under a weight he's too used to carrying.
"Even if I'm not... The entire world has its eyes set on him right now. So, I don't think it's the right time..." Goh manages a lopsided smile before his face lights up in some sort of realization. "Oh! I almost forgot, I'm flying to Kalos tomorrow. Professor Sakuragi asked me to research on this Rogue Mega Evolution phenomenon happening in Lumiose City."
Koharu raises her burgundy eyebrows. "Sounds pretty huge." She remarks, and Boltund perks up at the cheer of her voice, thumping listlessly against the floor.
"Yeah," Goh brushes some of his red highlights behind one ear. "Ash is coming with me, actually. "
"Oh...?"
"Mhm. He said it's been ages since he met his friends there — apparently Serena and May will be present too, for some kind of Showcase event," He glances at her, fidgeting with hope. "You should come too! Kalos is beautiful this time of the year."
Koharu hums. Her constant headache could really use a relaxing getaway right now, But... "Seems difficult. I've got errands at the lab, and schoolwork's been piling up again," Her voice dips. "You guys have fun."
Goh falls silent after offering her a sympathetic smile, and his computer screen glimmers with recorded data and analysis graphs, yet his thoughts are directionless. A spark races up his backbone like muscle memory every time his phone lights up, and although the maroon-haired girl doesn't voice out her concern, her mind circles around the same conclusion: Goh and Ash are burning at both ends for this secretive relationship.
Sure, it was their mutual decision to keep it under covers for the time being — it's not like either of them were ashamed to be spotted hand-in-hand in the public eye — not at all. It's just that Goh despises the paparazzi, and he knows that Ash wouldn't hesitate for an instant before airing out their relationship from the rooftops and flaunting his partner to the world. Goh just needs to say the word, and his boyfriend would call the press conference that very minute.
On paper, it's a good decision for them to keep their relationship within walls, they told themselves that their love could exist behind the scenes. But upon thinking about the emotional strain that comes with it...
Koharu exhales through her nose as Goh pursues his expert-level keyboard typing, glancing at his phone every now and then — an upsetting reminder of forced distance.
She wonders, with no cynicism, How long before the camera flashes catch up to Goh and Ash's clandestine paradise?