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“Clint! Baby wake up.” Natasha shook him by the shoulders.
He grunted and slowly opened his eyes. She was a blurry shape. “Hey Tasha…” His voice sounded funny.
“Come on baby, time to get up.” Natasha pulled him up.
Clint tried to help but his body felt weird. It was almost like he was wearing a blown up sumo suit. He was pretty sure he was still drunk; it was like he was moving too slow through a thick gel. “What’s wrong?”
“I think you’re allergic to hay.”
“Hay?”
“Yeah, we’re in a giant nest of hay.” Natasha mused as she helped him climb down from one of the beams the nest was on.
“Why?’
“I can’t remember.” Natasha landed in the living room. She turned and helped Clint down the rest of the way. “Lay down on the couch baby.”
Clint stumbled over and fell down on it.
Natasha rummaged through the medicine cabinet until she found the Benadryl. She helped Clint take a little more than the recommended dose. “Just relax, OK?”
He nodded and closed her swollen eyes.
Natasha smiled at his naked and swollen body. Even misshapen he was breathtaking. She took the elevator up to their shared bedroom. She pulled on a pair of yoga pants and Clint’s favorite t-shirt, white with a purple target on it. She grabbed a pair of sweatpants for Clint. As she made her way back down the halls and rooms were eerily empty. It was strange not running into anyone.
The swelling had gone down but red hives covered his flesh. Natasha grabbed a bottle of medicated lotion and crouched next to the couch. She gently coated his body with the lotion, hoping it would help.
He groaned and opened his eyes. “Hey sexy.”
She kissed his hip. “Hey yourself.” She pulled the sweatpants up his body. “Feel better?”
“Still fuzzy.”
She nodded. “Do you remember anything?”
“Not a damn thing. I drank too much.”
“Me too.” Natasha sat down and cradled his head in her lap. “Have you seen or heard anyone?”
“No, you?”
She started playing with his hair. “Not at all.”
Clint hummed a little. He loved when she played with his hair. “JARVIS?”
“Yes Agent Barton?” The A.I. answered.
“Do you know what happened last night?”
“Of course I do.”
Natasha smiled. “Do you have videos of it?”
“Yes. Shall I play them for you?”
“Please.”
The large TV crackled to life. Their night started out normal enough. The Avengers cooked a traditional Irish dinner, arguing over how to cook the stew. Dinner quickly turned into drinking games.
Bruce was the first one out. He slumped back in his chair, head lulling to the side. Tony thought it was a brilliant idea to drag him and chair down to the lab and lock him in.
Tony managed to goad Steve into drinking with him and Thor. After a few rounds Clint and Natasha decided to join in. Five rounds in Clint and Tony were arguing. Tony kept making fun of Clint, calling him bird boy and other such names. This somehow led to Tony saying if Clint was really a hawk he’d be able to build a nest. Which led to Tony ordering twenty bails of hay.
The other continued their drinking game while Clint scrambled up onto the beam to build a human sized nest. Once it was complete he snuck down, grabbed a bottle of vodka, a bottle of whiskey, and Natasha before climbing back up.
Three more rounds and Tony was naked and running through the house screaming about killer robots.
Two rounds later Tony disappeared into his lower labs, still naked.
Three rounds later Thor and Steve were going head to head, seeing who would pass out first.
Five rounds later Thor was wearing nothing but his red cape, which he deemed his cloak of thundery power.
Four more rounds and Thor was on the roof calling down the Thunder and twirling around in the storm like a little kid. Steve stumbled to the elevator to go to bed, but passed out inside it.
Meanwhile in the nest Clint and Natasha took turns drinking alcohol off each other as they got naked. Once the clothes and alcohol were gone they had sloppy drunk sex. Natasha curled up against Clint’s chest in his beautifully constructed nest.
Natasha looked down at Clint. “Next time you decide to build a nest, use something besides hay.”
Clint chuckled. “I will.”
She smiled and kissed him softly. “Think we should go find the others?”
“Nah, they’ll crawl out of their respective holes when they’re ready.”
“Hungry?”
“Yeah, but don’t go.” Clint closed his eyes. “You make the headache go away.” ‘
She smiled. “Ok bay.”
Clint smiled a bit. This was probably the best holiday the Avengers have had together yet.