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Tumbleweed tapped the diner counter idly, his fuzzy face furrowed in deep thought. The waiter eyed him, almost opening his mouth to say something but ultimately decided against it. Thank goodness, Tumbleweed thought, he didn’t want to worry others with his own petty issues. In all his years of helping folks and traveling the galaxies, this particular problem had never happened.
The pattern used to be so simple; Tumbleweed would find a big name villain, show them the path of do-gooding that they would eventually decide to go down, and he would wave good-bye to another galaxy and give promise after empty promise to see his new friends again. He wanted to, really, he did. But nomads don’t retrace their steps, and it was unlikely for folks to travel too far from their home galaxies. He never quite understood the inability of others to overcome their need to stay close to home, but not everyone traveled and that was that. He didn’t expect anyone to just drop everything and leave home as he had, especially not when almost every species in the universe was mortal. Life was too short for them to hop from galaxy to galaxy as he did. In fact, he found their desire to stay where their hearts lied captivating. Sometimes he found himself wishing he had a place like that.
He should have been careful what he wished for, because a little something had been playing Tumbleweed’s heartstrings something fierce and tying him tighter to this little patch of stars than usual.
He had both the pleasure and the unfortunate chance to have met a fellow from one of the only other immortal species in the universe, which of course had also happened to be the notorious villain he had to help through his evil funk. Which was a huge problem. It wasn’t uncommon for the villains and villainesses Tumbleweed met to be quite the lookers, or for him to develop a little crush along the way; the problem was he could act on it this time. And he wanted to.
He had heard of this Major Threat for quite some time, he’d been a big name around every neck of the galaxy, and Tumbleweed was curious. He was never one to dwell on folktales much, they weren’t too important to him, but the tales he had heard of Major Threat had his full attention. It was almost concerning that this villain’s name was still being repeated for that long, even more so that there seemed to be a new story in every galaxy Tumbleweed traveled to. But every time the fuzzy alien had asked the locals if Major Threat hadn’t already passed on they just gave him a good hearted laugh and continued their gossiping. In the end, Tumbleweed shrugged it off and considered it to be the last movements of a dying legend, after all, news didn’t travel through the galaxies very quickly back then. That was until he saw Major Threat in the flesh, standing tall and powerful on the platform under the aligning of a system of planets. Tumbleweed was stunned and watched the scene play out with wonderment and dread. This was his guy, the Major Threat he had heard so much about.
Since then, it had been running laps around planets, getting caught more than a few times in the large villain’s psychic clutches, and multiple failed attempts on Major Threat’s part to end the little wanderer once and for all. This carried on for years, and it sure sounded simple when Tumbleweed had whittled it down to what was happening on the outside. But in reality, Tumbleweed found himself slowly falling for the huge villain. The more time he spent with Major Threat, the fonder he grew of him, and the harder it became to take control of the emotions he found himself overpowered by.
It certainly didn’t help when Major Threat had started to ease out of his villainy, his planet count dropping faster each day along with his place on the Galactic Villain Leaderboard. The long, drawn-out chases around planet after planet and Major Threat’s attempts to strangle Tumbleweed with his powers had started to become less intense until they just didn’t happen anymore. Instead, a new habit had started to emerge in place of the old ones: they would find a pretty spot on a deserted planet and just sit and talk.
Not too long ago, they were doing just that on a little red, dusty planet; chatting it up like old friends. Stories of their travels (though Major Threat’s weren’t so nice, Tumbleweed listened anyway), the folks they met, and even their own home galaxies. Or at least, what could be remembered of them. It should have been great, but Tumbleweed grew increasingly worried as the conversation progressed. Major Threat had been unusually quiet, he didn’t even growl or grumble angrily when Tumbleweed said something sweet, just turned away with a slightly greener face than usual. The traveler frowned and turned to face him completely.
“You’ve been awfully gloomy lately,” Tumbleweed began carefully, “maybe it’s something a little heart to heart could fix?” Major Threat just shook his head, and waved Tumbleweed off dismissively. His orange brows scrunched together in concern, he wanted to try again but Major Threat clearly didn’t want to talk. He wouldn’t push it.
The rest of the conversation went on without another hitch, though Tumbleweed found himself a little disappointed and frightened with the lack of response on his new pal’s end. He liked to listen to him, he could listen to the squid man talk for hours in fact, and to hear so little from someone who was indeed quite a chatterbox before was concerning. The periods of quiet between them had become so long that Tumbleweed had the time to focus on his heart thumping in his ears, something that admittedly wasn’t uncommon when he talked to the ex-villain.
However, with every ba-bump that overran the silence came the increasing fear that those were not the beats of his heart, but the rhythm of an inkling army marching to yank Tumbleweed away and throw him in a cell. All the while Major threat would be laughing, hollering, only pausing to mock Tumbleweed for believing someone like Major Threat actually wanted to talk to him, as if he had honestly wanted to listen to some scruffy orange hick tell stories about love and peace across the universe. But the army never came. Tumbleweed couldn’t even catch a glimpse of the little squid boys. Not even Captain Inkers was anywhere to be found, it was just him and Major Threat. The thought was comforting, but the silence separating them was not.
After a few more of exchanges and even more silence, Tumbleweed finally decided it was time to head out, he started to get up, sweeping off red clouds of dust from his fur skirt and beginning his good-bye when he was yanked into a tight hug. After the initial shock had worn off, Tumbleweed could feel heat rushing to his chest and face. He thanked every deity he was covered in fur and Major Threat couldn’t see him turning beet red.
Major Threat finally let out a sigh, “Tumbleweed.” He pulled away from Tumbleweed but kept a tight grip on his orange shoulders with a serious look on his face. Tumbleweed only looked up into the cthulhu’s eyes expectantly, trying his hardest not to squirm under the hard gaze.
“Is something wrong?” This didn’t look good, and he guessed Major Threat had caught on to that as well because he smiled softly at Tumbleweed, trying to reassure him it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was.
“Tumbleweed, I really need you to listen. I…” He paused, trying to find the right words, “I’m not… I don’t want to be a villain anymore. I guess I just… wanted to thank you, I don’t know what planet I’d be conquering right now if you didn’t come along.” Tumbleweed sighed with relief, was that really all? He guessed Major Threat just wanted to be formal in thanking him, it was a nice gesture but he didn’t think he deserved it.
“Major Threat, you had me worked into a frenzy, you did! Goodness, you’d think a fella had died or something-”
“That’s not it.” Tumbleweed’s heart dropped again, he could have sworn it fell all the way down to his blue tennis shoes. “I’ve been thinking… about us, and I’m sure you have, too.” Of course he had, it had been the center of his attention for years now. The wanderer sighed and nodded, averting his eyes to the ground.
“I’m not asking you to stay with me, I know you won’t want to but we can make this work. It’s not like we’re on a time limit.” The smaller alien winced a little, “Just please think it over, Tumbleweed. You… you mean a lot to me.” With that, Major Threat moved his three-fingered hands down to grasp Tumbleweed’s smaller, fuzzy ones. He started to rub circles into the backs of the tiny orange hands with his “thumb”, never taking his gaze off of the nomad’s face.
Tumbleweed wasn’t sure if he could do this.
“Major thr-”
“Jeff.”
“Come again, friend?”
“Call me Jeff. It’s my uh… ‘Real’ name.” Confound it why did this squid man have to be so gosh darn cute. Tumbleweed glanced down at their joined hands, for the huge size and finger difference they seemed to fit so perfectly together. Finally he looked back up again and took in a deep breath.
“Now I’m… not saying “no”, Jeff,” The larger man’s ears began to wiggle ever so slightly, he was straining to contain his excitement, “But I want some time.” Jeff nods, almost a little too vigorously, and pulls Tumbleweed into another hug. They say their good-byes, and the little vagabond was left standing on his own on the dusty red planet. He needed a breather.
Tumbleweed stops tapping the diner counter suddenly, and the waiter turns around quickly, shocked at the sudden lack of noise. How long had he been thinking? He smiles at the bartender apologetically, though he’s really not sure what to be sorry about, but the bartender gives a soft smile back and continues his work.
The orange nomad finally came to a decision, and he could already feel the dread and the fear being lifted off of his shoulders. All at once the pent up emotions he had been trying so hard to tie down in the deepest regions of his gut came rushing back up, and he starts laughing. He’s losing it in this empty diner when he should be rushing back to Jeff’s arms to share the euphoria with him, poor guy is probably pacing in his room thinking his Tumbleweed is going to reject him. Tumbleweed pauses his giggle fit for a second, he feels the familiar rapid beating of his heart when he realizes that’s the nicest thought he’s had all day.
His Tumbleweed.