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Kaname had seen a post online one time about how having a cat basically made you immune to horror, as when a small creature lives in your house and wants nothing more than to engage in ‘making scary noises’ at all hours of the night, you get used to it fast.
Having a werewolf boyfriend hadn’t made him any less nervous about horror when they were inside a house, but it certainly had solved his fears about walking around spooky forests at night. Mostly since his boyfriend got obscenely clingy during the full moon and wanted nothing more than to spend the night running circles around Kaname like an insane dog with the zoomies, and he couldn’t do that in the house.
Not that he really even fit in the house as a wolf, he was huge, way larger than Kaname thought any wolf really should be. Kaname had looked it up one time, the largest wolf species usually topped out at 91 cm at the shoulder. His boyfriend was 152 cm at the shoulder. He was taller than Yachi. He was almost taller than Mai.
It did make a funny image when Mai scolded him for something, a giant wolf cowering in the face of an annoyed but still rather short woman, but it was not the size of something that would fit in a house.
So the woods. It was why they’d picked a house that backed up into woods that had a lot of thick undergrowth and were notoriously wild. Their neighbors all had fenced yards, many with stone walls or other more sturdy fences.
Kaname and Yasushi, with a little help from their friends, had installed a gate in the back of their fence. It did lock, although with a lock that was fairly easy for Yasushi to open, even as a wolf.
Not that he needed the gate, he could easily clear the fence with a jump, but the gate had still seemed like a good idea, if just for Kaname to use.
Hm, he hadn’t heard anything from his boyfriend in a while. Should he be concerned? Not for his boyfriend, he had faith in his giant wolf of a boyfriend to get himself out of any problems he got himself into, but for who or what he might be bothering instead of running circles around Kaname.
Oh Kaname hoped he wasn’t going to bring back a rabbit or something again. He didn’t have high hopes, his boyfriend usually brought something dead back when he’d been quiet for this long.
Hopefully it was something small. Then they could just bury it, or Yasushi could eat it, or whatever, and then Kaname could pretend it hadn’t happened.
A slightly delusional wish, but he was going to stick to it.
There was a horrible dragging sound from off to Kaname's left, and for a very long second he contemplated just turning and walking back to the house so he didn’t have to see whatever his boyfriend had found. Since that didn't sound like he was dragging a stick.
“Don't tell me,” Kaname pleaded, slowly turning to see the giant wolf that was his boyfriend right now slowly emerge from the underbrush. The source of the horrible dragging sound became immediately obvious as his boyfriend dragged the carcass of a deer into the clearing.
“Yasushi,” Kaname said, very disappointed.
His werewolf boyfriend deposited the deer at his feet, then sat down, tail wagging like he'd done something worthy of praise and not just dropped something that would probably cause Kaname nightmares for the next week at his boyfriend's feet.
“Yasushi, what are we supposed to do about this?” Kaname waved at the still very dead deer in dismay. He didn’t know how to break down a deer, and he didn’t want it to go to waste since his boyfriend's presence had driven away all other larger predators, so they couldn't just bury it or leave it.
His boyfriend panted happily, ears up, tongue lolling.
“I love you, but we need to have another talk about appropriate gifts,” Kaname informed him. His boyfriend didn't look all that apologetic, but Kaname hadn't really expected him to.
Kaname stared at the deer for a little while longer, then decided to call Mai. She'd know what to do with it.
It was midnight, but she was usually up at this hour doing something weird, she probably wouldn't mind him calling.
Lucky him, she picked up almost immediately. “Hey Moniwa, what's up?”
“Well my boyfriend saw fit to gift me something again,” Kaname said, very tiredly.
He heard multiple muffled snorts from the other end, so her boyfriends must also be awake with her.
“What is it this time?” Mai asked, barely hidden glee in her voice. She did just enjoy watching him suffer a little.
“Well, I don’t suppose you know someone who can process an entire deer?”
Mai was stunned into silence for just long enough for Kaname to hear one of her boyfriends choke on something he was drinking and start coughing. “A deer?” She asked, once she'd recovered.
“A deer,” Kaname agreed, staring at the deer balefully before turning the look on his unapologetic boyfriend.
“Tell Kamasaki that at that point he should just propose,” Mai said, although at least she sounded like she was slightly distracted, so she was probably helping.
“I'm not telling him that.” Besides, he probably heard her, werewolves had very good hearing. He wasn’t giving any indication of having heard her though, maybe playing dumb.
“Your loss! Okay, I know a guy who does leather working, and he knows a guy who can process the deer for you. How much of the deer do you want back?”
“I think my boyfriend would riot if I didn't say we'd like some of the meat at least.”
Yasushi barked in agreement.
“That tracks. Alright, great news, the guy is on his way to pick up the deer. It'll be like twenty minutes and if your boyfriend could bring the deer around front, that'd be great. He can't exactly get the car into the forest.”
“This late?” Kaname asked, a little surprised, checking the time again. Yep, still midnight.
“Best not to leave the corpse sitting around overnight and he was awake. And you definitely don't have a freezer big enough to stuff the deer in to wait for tomorrow. So yes, this late.”
Every time it happened he was surprised at her efficiency. You'd think he'd stop being so impressed and surprised at some point, but it hadn’t happened yet. “Thank you Mai, I don’t know what we'd do without you.”
“Die, probably!” She chirped cheerfully. “I'll accept payment in the form of a pie. I've been craving pumpkin pie.”
He could do that. “Good to know. I'll find a time to make some soon.”
"Don't take too much time! Alright, I'm gonna go back to my game if you don't need anything else. I'm going to smoke my boyfriends.”
“She's losing.” Kaname heard faintly from one of her boyfriends, although he couldn’t tell which from over the phone like this.
“Shhhh he doesn't need to know that. Bye Moniwa!”
“Bye,” Kaname agreed, although it was after she'd already hung up. “Come on Yasushi, you heard her. Dead deer around front.”
His boyfriend huffed, but did sink his teeth into the neck of the deer again, turning and plodding back towards their house. If he didn’t want to do this, he shouldn’t have brought Kaname a deer.
What was Kaname even going to do with the deer meat? Did it work like beef or pork? Did it taste different?
Guess they’d have to find out. Yasushi was going to be subjected to taking all the first bites since this was his deer, he would get to bear the consequences if Kaname couldn’t figure out how to cook with it for a while.
Assuming Yasushi didn’t just decide to do all the cooking with it instead. He might, he was more prone to cooking with meat than Kaname, who preferred his meat ground as a general preference.
They’d figure it out.