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Es hoped things would be easier with Touchi around. Don't get them wrong; It was helpful not having to do everythingaround the prison anymore, and it was honestly comforting having another warden around.
But then there was the memories.
Sure, Touchi didn't stare at them with pity or sugarcoat his words, but the way he insisted on helping them was all to fimilar. The way he would bring food to them when they forgot to eat. The way he would help them if they ever got injured by accident. The way he cared for them.
Touchi sighed as he finished wrapping the bandage around Es' finger. They had accidentally cut themselves on a particularly sharp knife while doing the dishes. This caused them to bleed all over the floor.
They had tried to hide it they best they could but Touchi was already staring at them, seeing their slightly pained gaze.
"You really should be more careful. At this rate, it'll only be a matter of time before I see you walk in here with a missing hand." Touchi scolded them as he put the box of bandaids away, letting a more joking tone slip out at the last part.
"Yeah… I will." Es said in a monotone voice as they ran a finger over the bandage.
"I'll go finish the other dishes up. You've done enough for today." Touchi walked past them. They now stood alone in the room.
It felt wrong. Disgusting. It felt like they were being mocked. Mocked for what they failed to do. Mocked for what they failed to protect. It hurt, but at the same time Es couldn't help but crave it. They wanted to feel cared for like this again.
And the only other person who could do that was now dead. Dead because they were too stupid to take Amane's threats seriously.
Next came the grief.
Last came the guilt. It hit them like a train.
How dare they feel bitter towards Touchi? Touchi was being nice. He could leave anytime we wants, yet he hasn't. He was lifting some of the work off Es' shoulders, and here Es was; being ungrateful and comparing him too a dead murderer.
Touchi was his own person, not some fucked up replacement of Shidou that Es could beg affection out of. Es opened the door to their room. They saw Touchi sitting at their desk, checking over the prisoners' requests.
"Oh. Touchi, you don't have to do that." Es said as Touchi looked at them from where he was sitting. He simply shrugged and stood up, outting the filled out papers down.
"I had nothing to do and I didn't really feel like sitting around, so I decided to occupy myself by doing some work for you."
"You shouldn't. I can handle it myself." Es retorted, sounding a bit more irritated than they meant to. Touchi didn't seem phased. He walked over to the smaller guard and awkwardly put a hand on their shoulder.
"I have no intentions of pitying you or treating you like a child. Your situation is less then ideal, sure, but I've seen how capable you are.
I want to see you make it out of here alive. And if I have to remain stuck in here, or even risk being executed for that to happen, so be it. I can handle the workload. All I ask of you is that you do your best to survive. Do you understand?"
"I…" Es began, but paused as their voice shook.
"So, please do your best."
"I will." Es said. They took a deep breath. Touchi didn't need to see them cry. Or know about the guilt that filled their body as they slowly stepped away from Touchi.
"I'm just going to… go check on the prisoners." Es muttered. Quickly stepping out and shutting the door.
Meanwhile Touchi just stared at his hand, he knew Es' behaviour all to well. Es saw someone in Touchi, and hated themself for it. Kazui had mentioned a name to him a few days ago.
Shidou Kirisaki.
Apparently he and Touchi were alike in many ways. Wanting to save people. Being so calm even in stressful situations. Wanting the best for Es. It makes sense they would see Touchi as a replacement for him.
Touchi couldn't help but feel a hint of anger bubble in his gut. Not at Es, at MILGRAM. They had been forced to endure three trials of this hell. Taking the blame for every little thing. Every restraint. Every injury. Every death. It all fell on Es'shoulders in the end.
Touchi wasn't oblivious. He had heard the cries when Es thought no one was around. How that goddamned rabbit basically taunted Es in their moments of weakness. Touchi had made it his purpose to save whoever needed him.
He'll get Es and their prisoners out of here…
or he'll die trying.