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“Tell me you're okay-”
“Roy.”
“-and that I'm fine.”
“I don't see how that-”
“Please.”
“... I'm okay. You're fine.”
The feel of threads of hair, pulled taught from his scalp was grounding. The way his fingers were weaved through his locks of hair kept him present. That way he didn't reach for his gloves, the one thing that simultaneously brought him feelings of safety as well as dragged him down into the abyss. The cure and the curse.
He could feel Riza's stable presence from nearby. Her faith in him was unwavering despite his current disposition. Something that he was confused by while also immensely grateful for. She did not touch him. They had been through this enough to know better. She did not speak out of turn. Nor did she call for help. That would just complicate things…
The scent of smoke burned his nose. It made him want to do something. Whether that was to tear out his hair and cower, or explode he wasn't certain.
An awkward shuffle reminded him that it wasn't just Riza and him. Roy was positive that if he raised his head he'd see Fullmetal getting one of Riza's infamous death stares. It was likely the only thing keeping Fullmetal from blurting out something stupid. Or worse, trying to help. Still, Fullmetal was part of the problem but he couldn't dismiss his subordinate without buying his silence from what he had witnessed.
Roy's breathing was ragged. He needed to fix that, but every breath he took smelled like… the past. His skin felt hot, too hot. The clothes he was wearing were too tight, it needed to be loose so he didn't trap sand and- his hands tightened again.
“I am fine, you are fine, we are at central command. It's over Roy. You're not there.” Riza calmly reassured.
Roy fought a frustrated scream and it came out muted and strangled.
“Hawkeye?” Came a small voice from somewhere in the room.
A hushed noise from Hawkeye, “Don't speak.”
Roy could feel the heat. Where were his gloves? He needed his gloves. He couldn't be without them. God, the screams… they were so loud…
“Edward.” He could hear Riza chide in a warning tone.
“Mustang? You with us?” A voice called.
Roy looked up and choked on his air. Red eyes and white hair looked back at him.
“Mustang? You don't look so good…” the memory said.
Would that child have been this old by now? He supposed that it was probably close. Roy wondered when the kid had escaped. Given that his flames reached even the tiniest corners…
“Mustang you're really starting to freak me out.” The ghost said nervously.
Roy closed his eyes, forcing the vision away.
He needed to be present.
He ignored the way his heart hammered in his chest making it feel as if he was dying. The way he felt exposed. Every fiber of his being telling him to grab his ignition gloves. To feel the soft soothing fabric on his hands, covering the blood staining his hands.
Roy pulled his hands from his hair and the joints hurt from the force he had used, “Hawkeye, report.” He said more out of instinct than necessity.
Without fail Hawkeye answered, “Fullmetal is here to give his report, sir.”
She paused briefly in a rare moment of hesitation before continuing, “You had another episode after Edward entered your office.”
Roy sighed but didn't look at his subordinate again, “did you determine the cause?”
“Yes sir, it seems Fullmetal ran into trouble on his mission and it resulted in his clothes being burnt.” Hawkeye said clearly.
It made sense. If his subordinate had been around fire he'd smell like smoke. It made perfect sense. Yet it still felt like it couldn't be just that. It was frustrating that something so small brought this out of him.
Roy folded his hands in front of him so that they would not tremble though he did not look up from his desk, “Fullmetal, give your report to Hawkeye.”
“Sure, whatever Colonel Bastard…”
He couldn't tell as he couldn't see his subordinate's face but from the sound of Fullmetal's voice it had sounded vaguely confused. Roy wasn't surprised. Though he would admit he did not look forward to explaining what had happened, however, that would have to take place another day. For now, Riza would handle Fullmetal's initial report.
Roy ran a hand through his hair and tried to ignore the ghosts creeping in his office. The scent of smoke lingered.